Just let me say this: I am OLD. I feel like I am about 100.
My granddaughters, who I love MADLY, have something to do with it.
Not all, but something.
They do their very best to run me ragged.
But they love me.
As evidenced by their message........We love you Mimi, Ava and Gabriella.
And I love them.
But lately, I confess, I have been in 'extreme annoyed mode'.
It ain't pretty.
I know how it started, I just don't know how to get out of it.
It isn't easy admitting it, for sure.
My mother has lived with us for 7 years. For the most part, it has been OK. We have managed to get comfortable with it.
But then my mother fell, just as her mental status was moving to the "I'm a child" phase.
I feel like a new mother, all over again.
And I don't want to be.
And I feel guiltier than I can even explain, because on the one hand, I am grateful, that I still have her.
And on the other hand, she drives me wild.
So I am bitchy. Can I say that???
My husband still has his head on his shoulders, but barely.
And the worst part........I'm not usually like this. No, I'm not.
Some mornings, I wake up annoyed.
It just ain't right, folks.
Like a baby, I need to be FLIPPED. Maybe that would straighten me out.
I tell myself to knock it off, but my SELF is not listening good.
I want to calm down, I do. I want to take a deep breath and let it all go. I do. Why can't I?
I know this will pass, and it will get better. I know it's not forever. I know that I am doing the best job I can do. It's enough. I know that.
There is so much good about life. Why am I letting this little blip on the screen throw me?
I need to stop and smell the lilacs.
I can learn a lot from these two. I know.
We picked rhubarb, and weeded the flower beds. They learned about 'nasty nettles', a lesson best remembered.
We had a good day, and now DH is making a pizza. God bless him. If it were up to me, we would be having grilled cheese. Or PB & J. Something mindless.
I love that you are all out there, reading my randomness, and often times sending me good thoughts, and taking the time to make a comment that is just what I need to hear.
Thanks for that.
Mystery of the day:
I ordered this tree a couple of years ago, from www.freetreesandplants.com I thought it was dead, but obviously it is not. I have no idea what kind of tree it is.
Any ideas?? I only know that I ordered it because it was not your usual. Whatever that means.