Monday, July 26, 2021

Riding the dragon

You might notice the new "widget" on the right side of my blog......it's a way to sign up
for email notifications of new posts, from FollowIT..........if you try it out, please let me know if it works, or not.
Apparently, Feedburner, that says I have no followers, is defunct.

Google says I have 466 followers.  So who is telling the truth???

I'm still in recovery mode, even though I am improving daily, I know that I have a LONG way to go.

My good friend, Sue, has gotten me out of the house a couple of times, which I am so grateful for.  We made a trip to the Argyle Cheese Farmer, right here in Hudson Falls, and this ginger pear smoothie is a keeper.  I will definitely be going back for more.






I put the chicken run on FB marketplace, for free to anyone that wanted to remove it from my property.  Of course, there were several takers.  The man who showed up first  is older, and not a speed demon, but a steady worker, and I think he will have it gone in the next couple of days.

Next is to get rid of the fence all around the back yard.  My goal is to make it feasible to mow it all with the riding lawn mower.  Simple.  Clean.  Easy.



I realized that one perk of not raising chickens, is that if Ms. Fox comes 
around my back yard, I won't be worried and freaking out that she is here.



I did attempt to weave on the AVL, and lasted about 30 minutes, before my leg started
talking to me.




The warp was wonky, so I wasn't entirely happy with it, and cut it off, to retie another day.




Number one daughter came yesterday and push mowed the back yard where the barn used to be, with my EGO battery powered mower.




I know that a lot of the periphery of my yard has grown up and looks awful, but I also know that I can't do any of it, so I have to satisfy myself with what I can get done.
This back yard is what I see from my screen porch, and at least to look out and see it all mowed makes me feel good.  I have to give up the rest of it.

I can still hear my little fountain from the porch, and it's amazing how much joy it brings, when it was so cheap and easy to set up.
The simple things, yes???


I still have a LOT of pain, on a daily basis.  I am taking Ibuprofen now, and 
thought that when I could do that, it would get better.  
But not so much.  So yeah, still riding the dragon.

Sleep is still impossible, and I am still napping whenever I can.
I try to keep myself amused with books and crosswords and streaming shows on 
my laptop.  I exercise my knee every day, do PT twice a week, walk around the house, and around the yard, and otherwise, 
it seems like I am just counting days and biding time until I am feeling somewhat 
human and not thinking all the time about the pain.
I know this will pass, and every day is one more step towards that goal.

What I want most right now, besides having the pain dial down a bit, is to be able to 
drive long enough to see these sweet humans.

Because in the end, that's really all that matters.







Sunday, July 18, 2021

Three weeks out

Yes, I am three weeks past my total knee replacement.

I will not tell you that they have been thrilling or easy weeks.  They have not.

This is a painful, and tough surgery.   There is no other way to say it.

But it's doable, and you have to keep your eye on the prize:  a knee that works without pain, 
allowing you to stay upright in your later years.

PT is often torture, but I look at it as a necessary evil to get me where I want to go..

I am not using a walker or a cane.  I am driving myself to PT, which is about 10 minutes away.  I wouldn't want to be driving much further just yet.

I am off all narcotics,  just taking Tylenol, and relying on ICE.  ICE.  ICE.  
And God, I hate ICE.

On the days I don't have PT, I am continually exercising my knee, like every hour.

In addition to the knee pain, I have a screaming IT band up the side of my operative leg, from the knee to the hip.  Apparently, that happens.

To say that I am tired of doing not much of anything would be an understatement.

I read, I do crosswords, I get up and walk around and around the house, I exercise my knee.  I started doing some more greeting cards, a few at a time.

And I nap.  Did I say that I napped???????   Oh, to be sure, I am now a serious napper.





Apparently, most everyone who has this surgery, has trouble at night finding a comfortable 
place for their "new leg".  Thus, sleep becomes problematic.  I sleep in fits, an hour or two here, and there, and the rest of the night is horrific.
So in the daytime, when I manage to get comfortable, usually with ice on my knee, I fall asleep.   Once in the morning, and again, in the afternoon.  And I can't NOT do it,  I'm at the mercy of my need for sleep.
So I just go with it.
I am assuming that my body needs it, so I just acquiesce.

 I've had a couple of epiphanies while I'm recuperating.  Both of them have been brewing in the back of my head for a while, so it's not like they are new.

One is the subject of craft shows.  I had one scheduled for August 1st, and I tried to convince myself that I would be able to do it with a lot of help.
But truly, that's ridiculous. 
Then sitting here with my new normal, at least for now, I realized that I don't want to do shows, now, or ever.  
So I put my canopy up for sale, and some lady snapped it up the very next day.
That kind of puts the cap on that.  
And something else happened that really made it simple.
I had posted on FB that I was looking for suggestions for any shop that might take my collage
cards, wholesale, or on consignment, since I have about 300 just sitting around here.  Next thing you know, a local gallery owner has snapped them up, and taken most all my handwoven clothes, and lots of towels and other stuff.   The best part, is it's about 4 miles from my house.
So that made the decision to give up doing craft shows much, much easier.

The other subject is raising chickens.  
I have been raising chickens for 8 years.
And if you have them, or you have ever had them, you know how much work they are.
My grands don't live close enough to see much of the chickens.  True, they like them when they come, but lucky if that's once a month, and mostly it's longer.
And lately, all I do is spend my time finding homes for the eggs.........

So after weighing all the pros and cons, and really asking myself WHY?   I decided to be done with chickens.

Half of them are gone already, to my friend's husband, who LOVES them, and has given them an awesome home.
The other half will be gone by tomorrow, and they are going to my friend, Laura, who will love them every bit as much.
So I don't have to worry that they won't have a good life.  They will.
And I will have lightened my load, cleaned my plate off a bit, which has been overflowing for some time.



Change is tough, but sometimes, it's the way forward, like it or not.


Every week that goes by is a week further away from that surgery, and closer to getting my life back.
One week at a time.
One day at a time.

Doing what I can, and trying to accept the rest.












Monday, June 28, 2021

finally



After griping and bellyaching about my knee for  the last 8 months, it is finally done.

My knee replacement took place last Friday. I stayed in the hospital once night, and came home the next day.
For any of you who have had this surgery, you know that the pain is no joke........
I am still relieved to have it in the rearview mirror..........and every day it gets a bit better.

I have commandeered my husband's recliner, it is where I am most comfortable.   I only had to promise not to ever say that it's ugly, again.  Apparently, I mention it often.

DH has settled in on the couch with Willie for his evening TV, and I have mastered getting in and out of this recliner on my own.
Being that it has been very hot and humid, I am also very appreciative of our new central AC unit.  Now I'm wondering why we waited so long.

Friends and family have been wonderful, coming over to help me, and every day I can do just a little more on my own.

Will blog more later, but for now, thanks for all the encouragement, and support.

It's a done deal!!!!!!!



Thursday, June 17, 2021

Truth.


One thing I have noticed about getting older, is that it is very easy to let fear and uncertainty weasle it's way into your daily thinking.

Thoughts of "I can't", "I'm afraid to", "it's too hard", "how can I avoid this" and then on to........"I hate this", "it's not fair", "why me?"

None of this is any help.

My oldest daughter repeated my words to me the other day.  She said, "you just have to power through".   Ha!!!!!   I can hear myself saying that to her, and her sisters, on more than one occasion.

Then I got thinking about it, and realized that to NOT power through this old age bullshit, is to go back on all the things I taught my daughters, all the things I said to them, that shaped how successful they would be in navigating this world.

It would be cowardly, and I would be unworthy of their respect.

So POWER THROUGH is engaged.   I know that this will be hard.  I know that I would rather not do it.  But the evidence is all there, that it needs to be done, and I need to "cowboy up".

So onward and upward........less than 2 weeks until my knee replacement.   I will do it.  I will get through it, and I will manage the pain, and the inconvenience and all of it.   It will be good.  I will be happy for it in the long run, and it will make my life better.

Every day, I will repeat these things to myself, and tell fear and uncertainly to SCRAM.  You have no place here.


Some afternoons, we just sit on the porch, me and Naya and Willie, and sometimes Syd.  
If I gently rock the glider, this bonehead falls asleep.


I have been using an APP called Brightmind....it's a guided daily meditation, and so far I really like it.  I started with 10 min a day, but eventually hope to get up to 30 min.  I will admit it, it's hard for me to sit still that long.

In light of how my summer is going to be spent, I have not planted wildly all around my property, like I usually do.  No big bed of squashes, no rows of basil.  Nothing so far.
I did  get a cherry tomato plant for a pot, and a couple of basils, and a dill and a parsley.
That was it.
Pathetic.

I concede.  This will not be one of those years.  As soon as I am able, I will go to the Saturday morning farmer's market, and support local farmers.  That's my plan.

I have managed to keep the labyrinth weeded, without chemicals....just by being persistent, and doing it often.  It may be my walking exercise for awhile.




I have a list of things I have to get done.......I've shopped for animal food.....chickens, cats, dogs, birds........and  next week, I'll shop for food for me, since I don't eat meat, and DH does.

In other words, I have to get all my ducks in a row.  Damn ducks.

The computer that I run Weave Point on, that runs my AVL, stopped powering up.   One duck out of line causing aggravation.   So I took it to a local computer repair place, and they said it apparently was not a big deal.   $99.00, I picked it up, brought it home, and it STILL did not power up.  So on a whim, I dug out an old monitor I kept in the closet, just in case, and sure enough, it came right on.  So it was the monitor ALL ALONG.  Not sure what I paid $99 for.

  Lois and I put a warp on the AVL last week, just because it was all wound and waiting, and I didn't want it lying around all summer.  So now the warp, and the computer, are ready, when I get around to them...which will probably be a while.
It's hand dyed silk, so something to look forward to weaving.




I also had a ton of wound skeins of 8/2 cotton, so I decided to dye them all before my surgery, so I wouldn't be tempted to go and do it when I shouldn't.
Cause I know myself well.

And that's my story for now.......busy schedule until the day.......then I will be on the other
side of it, and that will make me glad.  Thinking about it, anticipating it, is awful.


I will be going to the library to stock up on books.  That's a must.

And there's PT, of course.
Lots of PT.

And I tell myself, the pity train has just pulled up to the station named "SUCK IT UP and MOVE ON."

And so I will.  
I'll keep you all posted.





 










Wednesday, May 26, 2021

Wowza

First off.....the soup recipe is in the tab at the top  of the page......enjoy.

FYI it will not be the same if you don't use the red lentils, they cook and break up differently....makes the soup to be honest.


So here it is, my new table and chairs, I think at least one of my daughters thinks that I have lost my mind, but I love it.



I'm ordering a bigger round rug, this one is a bit small, it should be here Friday.

To be honest, this is more me.......I'm not fancy, just never have subscribed to that, it doesn't feel natural to me.  This is old, used, it has been loved.

It's home.



Just one of the chairs has arms.  The chairs don't match the table, the table could stand a refinish.
I still love it.


Several weeks ago, I started having this pain in the ball of my foot......it felt like there was something in my foot.  Youngest daughter went at it with a needle, but found nothing.

So I've been limping around on it, and it hurts.   A couple of weeks ago, I saw a local podiatrist.  The podiatrist I have seen in the past, is over an hour away, so I decided to give this new guy a try.

Big mistake.

He looked at it, didn't touch it........said, nope it's not a foreign body, and it's not a plantar's wart, which is what I thought it "might" be.  He put a FOAM cushion under my sole in that exact spot, and sent me on my way.

Nurses are notoriously lousy patients,  and I am no exception.  I was not happy.

I limped around another week, and made an appointment with my regular guy, and took the drive today.

Thank GOD.  

It WAS  a foreign body, trying to work it's way out.   He performed minor surgery on it right then and there.  When I told him what the other doctor said, he just shook his head.

It's sore right now, but at least I'm hopefully on the healing path at last.  

And yes, it's the same side as my soon to be replaced knee.   Of course it is.



Spending a lot of time on the screen porch, and I imagine it will really be my friend come July.




My lease was up on my Subaru Forester, so here's my new one.

Driving down the highway today, I thought about how fortunate I am, to have all that I have.

Sure, I have things to deal with, but still.........how amazing is it to   have your own home, your

 own car, money to buy food,  health care, family, friends.



And that brings me to all your lovely responses.   Thank you.  Thank you for taking the time to

 let me know that you are out there reading this blog, thank you for sharing that I have

 somehow touched your lives, made a difference, no matter how slight, inspired you, made you

 feel not so alone,  allowed. me to be your friend.   

You truly made my week with all your kind words.

I used random.org to choose the winner. and the number that came up was number 1!!!!

So the winner is Marsha Melson.   Email me your address.....and tell me what color your kitchen is......and I will send your towel right out.


And no, I'm not going anywhere.  Just think of all the time I will have this summer,  to blog 

 and read!!  It boggles the mind!







Sunday, May 23, 2021

A Giveaway

Every now and again, I wonder why I am still blogging all these years later, and I wonder, is anybody out there, other than the handful of people that I am pretty sure  are still hanging on??

So that tells me it's time for another giveaway.......you know the kind, where all you have to do is comment, to get a chance at something from Crazy as a Loom Weaving Studio........this time it will be a hand woven towel from my collection.

Today is Sunday, so I will draw the winner on WEDNESDAY, the 26th, to give everyone a chance.


These next two photos are from a couple of weeks ago, but they make me happy, so here they are.

They love the hot tub, and I love that you can see the chickens in the background.

I

I swear that my living room is not usually quite this messy, but a 7 yr old, a 4 yr old, and a 1 yr old can change all that in a heartbeat.
And I never mind one bit.  It's worth it.



My neighbor's had a yard sale the other day, and because they had run the country store for years apon years, I wanted to see what they were selling.

I bought a few small things, keeping in mind that I have just downsized my house by over  600 items.  But I just could not resist this.
I love things with lights in them.  It's a weakness.





I also bought their dining room table and chairs, and I will be getting rid of mine soon, but that's for another post.

Today I have a Spinach lentil soup on the stove,  it smells heavenly.

Yesterday, I spent a great deal, ok......all day, trying to convince myself that I do not need this knee surgery.   That changed this morning, when I stepped out of bed to extreme pain.  So I decided today to stop whinging about it, and get some stuff done.


I had my little loom on the screen porch, and I've been occasionally amusing myself making wall hangings.  One of them is sold already, the other is pending.  They were a lot of fun to weave.



I am trying to accept the fact that for probably July and August, I will not be of much use to 
myself or anyone else.  But I know that I have to have this done, if I want to stay on my 
feet, and I do.
My oldest daughter read me the riot act this morning, kind of.  Wonder where she gets THAT from?
She said I need to be thinking about this as a positive thing in my life, and if I decide it is going to be good, and an improvement, and it's going to make my life better, then it will, that whatever I put out there into the universe, will come back to me.

So that's what I am doing.


You can comment on any old thing you like, to be entered into the free towel drawing on WEDNESDAY.









Wednesday, May 19, 2021

Getting old.

Those of you who have followed my blog from years ago, will remember my brain surgery in August 2012.
Shortly after that, my grand daughter, Gabby, wanted a "prairie girl" outfit for Halloween, and of course, I said no problem.
But it was a problem.
I didn't admit it then, and I don't really like admitting it now, but my brain was not completely rebooted.
I struggled with reading the pattern, and just about all of it.  I'm embarrassed to say that it was really, really hard, and I was not happy with it.
But she loved it.
And that made it all worth while.



Fast forward nine years, and the outfit gets passed down to my youngest grand daughter, 




And the power of persistence pays off, again.
It just makes my heart glad, and puts some of my grief, for all the losses to come of that incident, to rest.
If that makes sense.


There is nothing that makes me happier than these grands.  
Watching them, knowing them, being a part of their lives.
I have no idea how long I will be around.  They may grow up and barely remember me.
But still, I will have impacted their lives, and those feelings may stay with them, for a long, long time.

I hope so.



This piece of silk weaving gave me fits.  It was an awful warp, but it turned out to be beautiful.

And it's gone.  I kind of wish I'd kept a piece of it.


In other news, I have been amusing myself making some funky art pieces to hang on the wall, for no other reason than that they make me happy.




Sydney says, " That sounds like a plan, to me."

One of these days, I'm going to write a book, called "Sydney Says".




I have wanted a fountain for a long time.  I had this old whetstone behind the  barn, the wooden frame had rotted, and there was a metal rod sticking through the middle of it.  My neighbor and friend took the rod out of it for me, and it is perfect.  I can hear the sound of the water falling, from the screen porch.  It is soothing, and I love it.  $40 total cost.


L brings  me asparagus every spring, so I made two asparagus leek tarts, one for her, and one for me.

They were easy to throw together, and delicious.  Definitely a keeper.



Another idea that has been rolling around in my brain.....the fountain in the middle of the labyrinth.  I had water in it the first year, but the cord was an issue, keeping it buried under the rocks and the pebbles, so I eventually gave it up.  Last year, my "hens and chicks" went a little wild, so when they came back this year, I decided to give them a new home.   I am hoping that they will fill in  and come back every year, and that the fountain will take care of itself somewhat, and not look so empty and forlorn.







On the knee issue, 8 months of dealing with the pain is just about enough.  It has made me miserable, and there is no getting better unfortunately.  So after seeing two different doctors, I am scheduled for a knee replacement the end of June.  I wish it was tomorrow.

Yes, this getting older thing is tough.
There are a whole lot of things about it that I don't like.

I am sure you know what I am talking about.  No need to elaborate.

But then there are perks.

So many.  Not caring about what people think anymore, after years of doing just that.
Not getting up and going to work for someone else, morning after morning.
Appreciating all those little things you took for granted your whole life.

But most of all, this.




Being grateful for the opportunity to get old enough, wrinkled enough, to be their "Mimi".   
Or getting to be, as my little grandson said,  an "old lady".

How is that so fine?????










Welcome to my world.

Because every thread counts

Because every thread counts