We have had Roy for two days, and other than the occasional looks he gives us, that seem to say,
"Am I going to stay HERE? Or are you going to take me some place else?" he has settled right in.
I have yet to hear him bark, even when kids and dogs and bicycles go right by on the sidewalk. He has the sweetest, most companionable, even temperament I have ever seen in a dog. He doesn't beg at the table, but lays down underneath, and waits for you to be done. He doesn't bark or scratch at the door, he waits for you to let him in. If you give him even a nod, he's on your lap. His only fault is that he may lose his tail someday, from the furious wagging that goes on.
Walking him this morning, a loose dog came charging out at him. I yelled at the dog, and held my hand up, to discourage him from coming that last 10 ft, and Roy just stood by my side, and waited to see what would happen. I have no doubt that he would defend himself. But he is just not looking for trouble.
He is happy, inside. You can feel it, when you are around him.
He has slept next to me the two nights he has been here, and he never moved. And during the day, well, the couch will do. He isn't particular.
The chair is nice, too, so you can keep track of the street.
And when you are sick of watching, it's pretty comfy as well.
Do you ever get that funny feeling that something is shifting in your brain?? I know, I take my life in my hands saying that. The loony wagon will pull up out front, right behind the Keebler truck, which DH says should come here for my mother.
Anyway, I am always in a rush. I wake up at the crack of dawn, eat on the run, and I'm out the door to the studio, usually around 8am. I work there all day, barely take a break for lunch, and come home at 4:30-5pm. Then there's dinner, cleaning the kitchen, laundry, helping my mother with showers, etc, running to the drug store, the grocery store. And I haven't even mentioned that mornings sometimes include trips to PT and doctors' appts. My mother isn't having a good year, between her broken shoulder, diverticulitis, and bladder infection, and all her bad luck runs somewhat downhill into my lap.
I am not complaining, really. It is what it is. DH helps me all he can, I would have taken the bridge without him.
My point is, that suddenly, I realize how crazy and chaotic my life has become. Too much. The studio actually reflects this unrest in my brain. It is cluttered, crowded, and lately......I hate to say it.......disconcerting. I find it hard to settle on any one thing. Because there is TOO MUCH going on. Combine this with a list of orders waiting for me, some of them more complicated than others, yard work THERE that needs attention, a list longer than your arm of "things to do".......and I can almost hear my head spinning.
Today is my baby's 30th birthday. I am taking today off to spend it with her.
What does that mean........that I have a BABY who is suddenly 30???? THIRTY????
Lord have mercy.
All these things slide in together......Eddie passing, the care of my mother taking more of my time, my baby leaving the shelter of her 20's. All grown up, for real.
And I think there is another change in the wind. I don't know yet what it is, and I am not trying to push it into the light.
I know, it will come in its own sweet time.
But it is there, I feel it hovering, like that hummingbird outside the window. Hard to focus, but there all the same.