What? Back so soon?

I told you I was going to try harder!!!

A couple of months ago, I started two avocado plants, thinking that I would be lucky if they grew.  It took weeks and weeks, and I was about ready to give up.   When I was beginning to lose faith, I decided to google "how to start avocado plants", and found out that I had the pit upside down in the water.

So I turned them over, and waited again.

 I was surprised when they both started to root!!  So I gave one away, and kept one.   

I probably won't live long enough to see an avocado from it, but it's fun anyway.

I really didn't need another plant.  I have to move them around when winter comes.  My huge elephant plant has to be moved from its favorite window, because it is right next to the gas stove in the living room.   When it's very cold, I use the stove in the evenings, and sometimes over morning tea, and the plant just doesn't like the heat.

Other plants, upstairs, have to come downstairs for the winter, as there is no heat upstairs in this 230 year old house.   

So no, I did not need another plant.

That's why I gave this Mandeville to one of my daughters, instead of 

trying to winter it in my house.

The garden is gone by, everything needs to be trimmed up and put to bed for the winter.

But for some reason, these morning glories are not ready to give it up.

I don't think I've ever seen them with leaves this big.

One of you asked about Lois.   It's a difficult subject, and one that 

I really struggle with.

She went to assisted living back in January, lasted there only a 

few days, and moved to memory care where she has been since.

Her sister takes her out a few times a week, and often 

brings her over to see me and the dogs, who love her dearly.

She knows me, but if I asked her what my name was, I think she might struggle with that on some days.   A dear friend of both of us, is a stranger to her now.  She simply does not remember who she is.

It's painful to see her, as awful as that sounds, because she looks like

Lois, and she sounds like Lois, but the Lois that I spent every day for 13 years with is not there.

If anything makes you grateful for whatever life you have, no matter how difficult, it should be dementia/Alzheimers.

She is safe where she is, but in truth, her life is over, while she still breathes.

I hate every bit of it.  

We had a great run, Lois and I, weaving here at Crazy as a Loom.

I am grateful for it all.

Time to plant the garlic this week, finish whatever needs doing outside, and wrap up the yard for winter.

A few weeks ago, I picked up all these black walnuts over by the 

labyrinth.   I have a black walnut tree that is very productive, and 

probably what keeps all the squirrels so fat and healthy.

I have never tried to open one, but I did, and now I know 

why they are used as a natural dye.  My finger nails were a lovely

shade of black.  This photo is AFTER I scrubbed them and even used bleach on them.   

Live and learn.  

The squirrels are welcome to them.

I had an old bench that has been out in the yard for years...it's actually a glider.   I loved it, but it became covered with lichen, and looked

like it was ready to call it a day.

But I called this local guy who restores antiques, and he took it 

home with him, took all the bolts out of it, removed all the mahogany

slats, put new bolts in it, and oiled all the wood, and put it all back

together.   It reall turned out to be a beautiful bench after all.

Sitting on it, under the linden tree, (also called a basswood tree)

here's my view of the house.

Below is a screen shot of the rug in my living room.  It was

pretty, but thin, and every time Willie came in the kitchen door, 

he raced through the kitchen and into the living room,

and the rug reacted in a way that left ripples in it.

So every day, I pulled and pulled on it to flatten it out,

and the rug refused to stay flat.

So the other night, my daughter and I took a trip to Ollie's, 

a store that definitely has everything.  To be honest, it's a bit

scary.

But I found a rug, actually, my daughter picked it out, I was not at all

sure.

But for $149,  I thought it was an improvement.  It's much thicker, 

and it certainly does POP.

The dogs loved it, they rolled around on it, and 

gave their approval.

What do you think???

Back again

Summer is gone, and boy, was it an expensive one for me.

New roof on this side of the house, which has been the only part of my roof that was still slate.

And underneath it ...........wooden shingles, and about a million square nails.

But it's done.....chimney capped forever never to be used again, but repointed so it looks good!

New flashing around the chimney, new ridge pole.........done.

On top of that, a new gas furnace, since my chimney is defunct.

My savings dwindles in the face of necessity.

As usual, I am sickeningly hopeful.  What the hell is wrong with me, I wonder.

But there seems always something to be thankful for.  So I persist in 

holding on to those good thoughts.

A few months ago, I saw this photo, I have yet to find out where it originated from,

despite lengthy searches.

It is a picture of different colored eggs from different breeds of chickens, and it 

just mesmerized me.

I wanted to recreate these colors in my weaving.

I was not at all sure that I could.

But once again, I persisted.  You've probably noticed by now, if you've been 

following my blog, that persistence is my middle name.

And here is what I came up with.

Here is the finished towel.

The first 21 that came off the loom sold overnight on my FB biz page, and the second

21 are waiting for the guild show.

For my last expenditure of this very pricey summer, I decided to replace the back

fence of the dog yard.  The rest of it is black chain link 5 ft high, but this one stretch

has always been stockade fence.

The old one had been there for 15 plus years, and was beginning to look a little ragged.

I was afraid some day I would look out there and parts of it would be lying on the ground.

So here is the new fence, and hopefully it will last for a long time.

My other weaving venture into towels, has been my Christmas tree towels.

I have 20 of those waiting for the guild show which is November 15-17 at 

Pat's Barn in North Greenbush, NY.

And if that's not enough to keep me busy, I've been doing Basic Weaving workshops

again, and they are filling up fast.

It's good to get more people to be in love with weaving. and it's good 

to fill the studio up with lots of good energy.

Sorry I've been so absent.  I think often that no one reads it, so why bother, but then 

I know that there a few of you faithful followers out there, and then I feel bad for 

not doing better.....

I'll try harder.

Surprise

Well, I haven't blogged in a couple of weeks, and leave it to Blogger to change how you 

upload photos........

Always a challenge.

The photos are kind of random, but I'm just trying to keep it real....this is my life.

My new favorite lunch.....boiled eggs, avocado, cherry tomatoes and sriracha.

So, so good.  And a protein boost for this vegetarian.

I haven't done much gardening this year, with my new hip, but my garlic did 

marvelously, and it's drying on the inside porch........enough to share with my daughters, and 

keep some for myself.

The rest of these pictures are of my collection of daylilies......I have quite a few, and 

they really need to be divided.

With all the bad luck I had last month, there were some sunny spots that 

encouraged me.

Out of the blue, I was given a loom by a gentleman who just popped into the 

studio one day.  His wife had bought it years ago, never used it, and now was unable to.

It was in their way.  

I was surprised to see that it was a lovely loom, an oak Schacht, and I new right away that I did not need it,

and that maybe it was just the gift I needed.

Last year I bought a Megado loom, a beautiful, and expensive loom.

I bought it with the 'mechanical' dobby, which is just like it sounds.....a lot of work.

So I knew that at some point, if I was going to keep the loom, and maybe love it,

that I would have to bite the bullet and buy the expensive electronic dobby for it.

I couldn't justify the cost, so I waited.

 I  quickly put the gifted Schacht loom up for sale........

I sold it in just a few days for my asking price, along with its bench and a couple of 

other items.

Then I ordered the new electronic dobby for my Megado..... with the money from the 

free loom, it ended up costing me $28, 

plus I had to pay for the shipping.

I'm a happy weaver.

I think the universe sent me that little surprise, and I am grateful.

I am finally starting to get some walking in, now that the temperatures have come down just a bit.

That was my dream before I had this hip replacement, but then my knees cranked up, then the temperatures and humidity did as well.

Just to walk.....that is all I wanted.

So let's see if I can get it done.  

Moving along

(Random studio pictures)

Sometimes I think I am being tested, then other times I think no, it's just life, and life can be tricky any time at all.

A few months ago, we had a huge wind storm, and there was a lot of banging on my roof.  Apparently, the cap on the chimney came apart.

In addition, I started having  this issue in my upstairs hallway, with creosote stains coming down the walls.  I knew it was a chimney issue, and I assumed it was related to the chimney cap.

So I called in the chimney people.  They were quick to respond, and very pleasant, but their news was so not good.

First of all, the person I trusted to put the chimney cap on, L's brother in fact, did the worst, and cheapest, job possible.  So far, the chimney people, and a roof contractor have seen it, and were both blown away, that anyone would do that.

Secondly, the ridge cap, put on years back by another contractor, was not a real ridge cap at all, and thus leaking, as was the crappy flashing job around the chimney.

The bottom line is:   

The chimney is over 200 years old, dangerous, and cannot be used at all, ever.

The chimney needs to be repointed, and permanently capped, the roof ridge cap and flashing etcetera all needs fixing.

To vent my oil furnace out the wall requires something called a side slip vent that is very pricey.

My plumbing and heating guy, who has not steered me wrong in 20 years, suggests ditching the oil furnace, and for $4400 getting a new gas furnace that can vent out the wall, is cleaner, more efficient, and will save me lots of $ in fuel in the long run.

So furnace is coming tomorrow.

Got the quotes from the roof guy, and while I am sure they are fair, they stopped me in my tracks.

$8000 for all the roof work.

And I didn't mention the plaster damage in the upstairs hall......from the water pouring down.....that's another $1900...

Don''t bother adding it all up....it's nauseating.

Then yesterday I had no water.  I panicked thinking I needing a new well pump, since mine is about 44 years old.   That would be a $2000+ price tag, and I am hemorrhaging money at this point.   But the well people came yesterday, and it was not the pump, but a pressure switch on the side of my water tank in the basement.  $278.

The upside of that is that after years of having crappy water pressure in this old house, I now have incredible water pressure, which I am thoroughly enjoying.

Then the other night, the hose that connects the toilet upstairs, to the water line, sprung a huge leak, and water was spraying everywhere.

It just never ends.

All this has been overwhelming, but I realized, doable.  The hardest part is not having Bill here to do it all with me.  That is so true about problem being half as bad when you have someone to share it with.  It sounds cliche, but in reality, it has a bite.

As I sit here bemoaning the bad things that have

befallen me, once again, the little voice in my head, tells me to stop.

It reminds me of ALL the things I have to be thankful for.

My personal opinion, which I have probably shared with you all before, is that we Americans are spoiled.

Spoiled rotten.

For the most part.

We have so much, and yet it is never enough.  

We spend our lives acquiring money, and property and 

STUFF.

We forget what is important.

I know all these problems won't last, and I know that they really aren't 

tragic.  I just have to muddle through them as best I can, and I have to look around me, and practice gratitude for all the amazing things in my life.

Above all, I am grateful for my serenity, an inner strength, that I believe we all have, that gets me up every morning, and pushes me into the new day.

Onward!

I have been long absent again.  

I frequently ask myself if I want to keep blogging, and 

I haven't yet come up with a good answer to that.

I have made a commitment to myself to not talk politics, on FB or anywhere else,

for my own sanity..

And sometimes I don't feel like I have much good to talk about.  This

year has been hard.

The good news is that my HIP is healed, and feeling good.

The bad news is that making my legs even, after so many years of having 

one leg 1/2" shorter than the other, has made my KNEES very angry.

For some time, they were grossly swollen, but I think at last they are starting to adjust.

I have had to adjust myself, wanting to get walking again, 

but finding that I have to do it gradually, and not 

jump right into it, like I would usually do.

Last week I went for a boat ride on Lake George, the "Queen of American Lakes", 

it has recently ranked the cleanest lake in the United States.  Pretty impressive.

You can see to the bottom in shallow water, and it is beautiful.

I do admit though that I am not really a fan of "speeding" down the lake in 

a boat.  I much prefer a more meandering type of boating. 

I guess I'm officially old.

We traveled to the end of the lake, where I grew up.  I was stunned

at how much it had changed, and in my mind, not in a good way.

I guess I prefer my memories of that place, to the way it is now, 

and I reminded myself that I don't have to see it if I don't want to.

My perennial garden is looking like the cottage garden that 

I envisioned when I started it.

The bee balm has multiplied like crazy, and so have lots of other plants.

I love the crowded, unplanned look it has.

Walking between the plants is crowded, but I love it.

Missouri primroses have popped up everywhere, even in the middle of the Lamb's Ears.

One of several phlox in my garden.

And a sweet hydrangea.....one of several......they are my faves.

In the studio, I am weaving more, and just did a "sewing" day, to clean off

my sewing table.  

This is a hand dyed Möbius shawl I just finished.

But I have to admit, for the most part, I am settling into my life.

It seems to me, that the last two years, without Bill, have been a practice

session that I really didn't want.

To be honest, there have been a lot of times, that I really had no idea

what I was doing.

Or more importantly, why.

The 25th  was two years to the day, and I realized that I am becoming

accustomed to this life I have now.

It has a rhythm of its own, unlike my life before, but it is my life, for sure.

I am also accepting that everything that happens here in my old house, 

is for me to deal with.

Whining about it doesn't change it.

Ha! Who knew.

Healing

Every thing I do takes at least twice as long as it used to.   I am still using a cane, because  walking without it is pretty painful.

So showering, doing dishes, doing laundry, feeding dogs, feeding  my  outside cat and his friends, cooking dinner, getting the garbage and recycles out, everything, is an event.

Today is  three weeks since my surgery.  I have already started driving myself to PT this week, and yes, I have been weaving.  Thank God, or I think that mentally, I would be in worse shape.

I don't weave for long, but it is so good for me.

I am also planning ......future weaving projects, and future weaving workshops...........that's a good sign.

I know that gardening most likely will not be in my future this summer........and I am grateful that I have an amazing kid who is keeping my lawns mowed and trimmed and looking awesome.   It hurts a bit financially, but I think that it's worth it not to have to worry about it, or actually, even think about it.

I feel so guilty that Naya and Willie aren't getting walks, and haven't for months.   They deserve better, and I just can't do a thing about it.

They are my ever present companions though, and I don't know what on earth I would do without them.

They call them rescue dogs, but truly, there are days when they rescue me.

I am not sure what happens after a surgical "assault", but I do know that it's unwise 

to underestimate it.

I was at PT the other day, and I told my therapist that I was struggling with the pain, it just wasn't getting better very quickly.   

He said..........."does it feel like they cut off your leg and reattached it?"

Horrified, I said, "What?"

He repeated.

" Does it feel like they cut off your leg and reattached it?  Because that's what they 

did.  And it's only been two weeks."

Enough said.

I am also amazed at how tired I am since surgery........just exhausted much of the time.  Naps feel like heaven every one.

I also can't concentrate long enough to read a book.

So Netflix and Britbox are my friends, and mindless work like Kumihimo, making cords

that I don't need.

I have yet to get my screen porch  ready.  The floor is mostly the issue.....it needs sweeping, vacuuming and mopping, all things that are difficult for me right now.

The furniture has been covered up with plastic all winter, and all the cushions and chair covers and such are washed and put away in the attic loft.  This is the first time ever that I have done that in the fall.  I always waited and did it now, in the spring, but for some reason, I got organized last November, and I am so glad that I did.  Once the floor is cleaned, I won't be far from being able to use the porch.

The dogs love it, I love it.

They run in and out of the dog door a thousand times a day, and I don't have to let them in or out.  Marvelous.

I am struck lately by the incessant need of the mind to project into the future.  Should I do this, or should I do that.

What if I moved here, or changed this, or started this, or gave up this........a constant barrage of what to do, or how to do things, in a time that has not arrived.

It is such a total and complete waste of time.

As we get older, it gets even more ridiculous.  Years ago, when I was in the midst of extricating myself from an alcoholic husband, I had a sign over my sewing machine, it said, "Stay in the day".     It's solid advice, and one that I still, after all these years, need to remember.

Now that I am 77.........WTH..............is there any sense at all to wasting one minute planning for a future that is more tenuous by the day????   I think not.

I heard some good advice the other day, it said, "Every day, do what you do, and do it well", because that's all there is.

I think I am going to make a few little cards, and position them in places around the house, that say, once again, "Stay in the day."  It's so simple, yet so difficult.

We are bombarded by media telling us to put the future right in front of our faces, even when our logical minds tell us that's crap.

In an effort to decrease inflammation in my old body, I am trying this mushroom coffee.  Lots of reviews say it's very helpful in that regard, as well as lowering cholesterol.  And since I am dead set against taking statins, this is my plan.

I've heard things about how bad it tastes, but I have to say, I like it.

It tastes like coffee, but earthier somehow.  I use a little creamer, and drink one a day.

We shall see.  My opinion is that the medical community often throws meds at us, when natural remedies can and often do just as much for us, with less side effects.

I will keep you posted.  I'm planning on drinking it for two months, and getting labs 

drawn, and taking stock of how I feel overall.

I also think about what this "recovery" would be like, if Bill were still 

here.  

Being alone is one thing,

 being without someone you have spent so many years 

with is something else.

And being slightly disabled and recovering alone is truly something I never imagined, 

or saw coming.