To be supported, and encouraged by all of you out there, through this invisible connection
that is blogland, is more than a body could dare expect from the world.
I thank you.
All day, I have wandered from one thing to the next, trying to put my brain on hold, trying to be strong.
But every once in awhile, the tears would come unexpectedly, and the sadness felt like a weight.
I know my sweet boy is in a better place. I know that he gave us almost 14 years of love and loyalty, and I know that he has struggled for the last few months. I said that I didn't want to have to make the decision to euthanize him, but I also said that I wouldn't allow him to suffer, not at all.
And it appears that we are spared that scenario, and Eddie is free from his aging body.
It happened so fast, I am still reeling.
But life goes on.
There is still work to be done, appointments to be kept, responsibilities to be honored. And sometimes, when life throws you a curve, the best thing to do, is to act "as if" it is all normal and fine. You know it's not, but if you can act like it is, you can keep moving. Then, eventually, hopefully, one day you will realize that it is fine, once again, and you don't even know when it happened.
I don't want Eddie to be defined by the day he died. He was incredibly special from the first time I saw him, at just a few months old, all gangly and goofy.
I wondered today, how it is that his life, from toddler to teenager, to adult, to old man, and everything in between, could have played itself out in front of my eyes, and suddenly be over.
I want to cover my eyes, and make it all not so.
If only it were so easy.