Sunday, January 1, 2012

Resolve to do what??

I have made resolutions before........and they sounded SO damn good.  I loved them.
I didn't follow through with all of them, but they were impressive, thoughtfully done, I decided.
Each one of them deserving of my immediate and total attention.

This year, I have ONE resolution.
You KNOW what it is so simple it is scary.
I resolve to LOSE this headache.
That's it.  Nothing more.
But I have to tell you, it's not all bad.  It seems like it, but it's not.

Going on 11 weeks, I have found that pain can not only wear you down, distract you, and  interrupt your life, but it also changes your perspective.  A lot.
Every day is a complete sentence.  I have to live each one by itself.  I have no time, or energy, to anguish about yesterday, or fret about tomorrow.
Pain does that.  Pain makes TODAY the only day that matters. It asks questions that only today can answer.
How bad is this pain going to be?
Can I stand it?
Can I get anything done at all?
Can I love my life even with this knife in my head?

Sorry.  But it's true.
So this headache has GIVEN me one thing that I have tried for many years to attain.
Yup.  It has.
It has given me the gift of STAYING IN THIS DAY.  EVERY DAY.
Who knew?
Believe it or not, it makes it easier.  It does.

While in the Salvation Army with my mother this morning, my mind wandered.......I admit it.
I was doodling on the program.........and came up with three things I don't need to RESOLVE to do, but three things I WANT to do.
1.  I (we, this means YOU DH) want to downsize my house.
This means getting rid of CRAP.  You now what I mean.  Clothes, books, papers, and a whole bunch of other minutiae that clutters our living space, and our has to go.
2. I want to do more meaningful stuff......volunteer, donate, for something that matters.
3. I want to pursue happiness with a vengeance.
That's it.  What I want to do.  Period.  Not what I should do.  Not what I need to do.  Not what someone else thinks I need to do.
Who said getting older was a bad thing?

Last year the snow filled my porch, like  a wind tunnel.
This year, it won't.

I found these great reusable tarps at
They let the light through, and they were reasonable.

We didn't totally enclose the porch, but two 10'x10', and one 10' x 20' will keep most of the snow off the porch.
Thanks Claire and Lois, for the help.  You did a great job.

Yesterday, though the world was hazy through one of the worst days I have had in a long time, I went to Manchester, Vt, with a friend.  We went to lunch at Gringo Jacks......they have the best tortilla chips anywhere.  You can even order them, and the salsa.
Then we went to the Northshire Book Store, my fave.  Except that yesterday, I didn't like it was mobbed, and crazy.  I wasn't into crazy.
We did, however, go to a place called Zippy Chicks  a consignment shop next to Gringo Jacks.

It was awesome, and I found two things for myself, a red knit hoodie, a long wool sweater/jacket  and a short jacket for my mother that I knew she would love.  All for $42.

Everything looked brand new.........I will definitely be going back there.

That's it for Day One of Twenty Twelve.   I am thinking positive, good thoughts, for me, and for you.

Roy concurs.

Roy  .....Roy ........


Anonymous said...

Great looking tarps and what a wonderful idea! I love the chandeliers in that store... oooohin and aaahing over them. Oh, and Izzy likes her nose under a blankie too. *pats Roy boy on the head*

Karen said...

You do know... now that you've set up those great tarps, and my husband bought a ginormous snow blower... we're not getting snow this year. Just sayin.

Teri said...

Happy New Year! And hoping you get your wish for relief. Downsizing is good.

Deb said...

I'm with you all the way. Out with the crap and surround yourself with only things you love. That's one of my resolutions, too. I just love that porch and Roy always makes me happy. Boo! to that headache.

Country Girl said...

I love your little list of things you want to do. Makes perfect sense. And please, I do hope you pursue happiness with a vengeance. That sounds wonderful. Happy New Year ~

A Brit in Tennessee said...

I so hope your wish comes true !
2011 was not the kindest year to me, healthwise, I'm also wishing to regain my health back, and strive to plod along day after day regardless.
What a wonderful shop you found, lots of bargains there.
Wishing you a Healthy and Happy New Year, and looking forward to more visits back and forth..

Sweetpea said...

oh my, Hilary, what our dawgs can do for us...defies words.
Day one you mentioned..."am thinking positive good thoughts"...loved your photos. Especially one's snout, buried in the comfiest spot possible.
I so want you to feel better.

ladyoftheloom said...

I really really hope your headache finds its way out of your life. Soon. Chronic pain is no joke. I have it too and take the good days as they come.

Cait Throop said...

Yes, get rid of the crap that clutters up your life! I'm still working on that...:) How is Roy?? Still hurt? Big hugs, Hilary, and hope this year is pain free and wonderful for you!

Daryl said...

I've been blog visiting while Rose snuggles on my lap, occasionally she tries to grab my arm to stop me from typing bs petting her .. I have to leave this tomorrow and go back to work .. UGH ..

Sue said...

I'm with you on how much pain can come to control your life. Mine has been going on for 11 months now, and I wish more doctors could understand how all-encompassing it can be. May 2012 bring all of us that suffer from chronic pain relief.

Kittymum said...

My resolutions for 2012 are similar. After a crap year of pain and depression, I've decided this is the year I lose enough weight to get at least one knee replaced. My other is to downsize my sewing room. It's so full, there's not much room for sewing. I've got to stop buying fabric and yarn and start working with what I've already bought.

KarenInTheWoods said...

Yup.. my kinda shop!

Anonymous said...

I love your porch. Godo idea for keeping the snow out. I am sure it will cut down some on the shoveling.

Anonymous said...

Oops.....make that a "good" idea...

Sharon said...

I am so there. I told Ian that this year I didn't want to exchange stuff. We ended up giving each other books which is okay, since it takes thought to select one and then they can be passed on. I think the Kindle is going to change that in the future. I want to unstuff our lives and hope to enlist eBay.

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