Woke up about 2 a.m. with a vise on my temples, by 7 a.m., it was no better. I stayed home. Roy and I rested on the couch all morning.
L held down the
I knew I was in no shape to work.
My mother made tea, and came in and sat on the end of the couch. She said, "Maybe if you cry you'll feel better."
Been there and done that already. And crying too hard just makes the vise get tighter, so that's not really an option I want to explore.
She made me lunch, suddenly I am her little girl again.
She brought her sandwich in to the living room, and talked constantly.
What have I said many times?? that there is always a lesson? in everything?
Well, today I learned how lonely my mother is, how in our busy-ness, we don't spend enough time in a day, just talking to her.
While my head was screaming, I filed that information under 'things to do'.
Eventually, I decided that I was not getting any better on the couch. It took a supreme effort to get moving, but move I did, and Roy and I went for a walk down by the river. It doesn't help the headache, but it clears my head, and gives me a different perspective.
"we are disturbed not by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens" (Epictetus)
So many of you have commented on how strong I am. Is that another word for 'pig-headed'????
I am not a super woman. Really.
But what are the choices??? Plod on.......or give in. Not much of a choice.
When I am trying to keep it together, I remember that as bad as this is, there are so many others who have it so much worse.
Like my dearest friend, in Georgia, whose husband is now on Hospice. He is losing his battle, and she is facing life without him. I bet she would trade me for this vice, in a New York minute.
I just have a headache. I'll live. I think.
Another friend said this to me in an email today:
"Maybe if you promise the universe that you will stop and smell the roses once in a while , you do not need the headache to make you do that...... "
There's a lesson here, I know there is. There always is.
I wanted to share a video with you. The link is HERE. It is 25 minutes long, and well worth it, a story about twin priests in a northern NY town, one of whom is diagnosed with Alzheimers at age 57. The last few minutes made me cry again, and said it all. I think that's when I got my butt off the couch, and took Roy's leash off the hook.
Enjoy the video, and let me know what you think.