Wednesday, February 15, 2012


Just in case you thought I was totally resting on my laurels.......I did get the Toika warped for an order.
Hot pink, lime green.

Luckily, it was already threaded through the reed, and the heddles, so here I just tied on.
Time consuming, yes, but not nearly as much as threading and sleying all over again.
By the way, Scrabble does not recognize 'sley'.  Seriously?
That's my life they're talking about.

But you would kind of be right about me resting on my laurels, I have been shockingly unproductive of late.
Unless of course you count laying face down on a stretcher, with a needle stuck in the back of your neck, while being told to RELAX your muscles, DROP your shoulders, RELAX; sweat pouring off your face, knowing that no train of thought, no prayers, no concentration, NOTHING, will stop you from flinching with the stabbing pain that you know is coming.  RELAX.
Then crying most of the way home.

That probably doesn't count for being productive though, does it.

Well, the good news is, I am done for this week.  Another diagnostic injection next week, and then one the week after, and then the consult, and hopefully, a plan.

I have always thought of myself as physically, emotionally, and mentally STRONG.  Prided myself actually, on being all those.   I push myself harder and longer than anyone else would ever dare to do. I have a pit bull mentality about not allowing myself much slack.
I'm getting better, but honestly, I am still that way.  Whatever I do, I do 100%, or more.  Scary sometimes.
NOW, FOUR months into this, I don't feel any of the above.  I cry at the drop of a hat.  I can't concentrate,  I don't get much done.   I feel like a slug.
Not that there is anything wrong with that, just that it isn't me.
I realize that I have met  up with the issue of aging and health problems...... head on.  No pun intended.
I have always believed that when tough times come, there's a lesson to be learned.   This is probably no different.
And I know that no matter how much I would like to resist this lesson, it's coming at me hard and fast.
I guess I should just RELAX and enjoy it.
No flinching allowed.


Lona said...

Oh, dear. I'm so sorry. Life lessons usually suck.

claudia said...

You've done so much better than I would have ever done. My prayers are with you for a speedy consult and plan, that will take you to pain free days. Won't that be a sensation? ((((HUGS))))

Frank's Corner said...

I once was told by a chronic pain specialist that anyone who has been in pain for more than 6 weeks who says they are not depressed is lying. To have relentless pain calls on all of our internal resources and then some. You have been amazingly strong and brave over these past months. I wish we could all gift you with our strength to make your journey through this part easier. I hope that soon you get some answers and some permanent relief. Candace

Daryl said...

several years past the pain I had from a virus in my shoulder (I know, I couldnt believe it either) and I can honestly say it was horrific and I hope to heaven I never see another neurologist again ever .. so I do know how awful you feel and how much that needle hurt ... snuggle Sydney, take Roy for a walk ...

Christine said...

Maybe learning to relax is the lesson? I was always driven, until I had shoulder surgery and couldn't do a darn thing. I had to learn to relax. I can't honestly say, I feel better now. I don't accomplish as much, but I feel better.

Anonymous said...

Oh Hilary, I so hope you start feeling better very very soon. Such a long and painful road for you to walk. Grab Mr. Roy Boy, hug him tight and carry on! Wishing you all the best.

Mary said...

I enjoy seeing your projects. I wish I lived close enough to take a class. I'm sorry this pain is beating you down. I hope you find relief soon.

(GBS) NewsFromTheHill said...

Oh I'm so so sorry that you're feeling so low and so much pain. I could sense the frustration in your words with not being able to control this pain.
Remember that we are all only human and no one can be superman except Clark Kent.... anyone who didn't cry and feel aggravated after your winter of nonstop headaches would be a robot!

Hilary said...


You're still probably one of the strongest people I "know." Whether you think so or not. Flinching is allowed. This one's just a blip in the road. You'll get past it. The pit bull in you will make sure of it.

Welcome to my world.

Because every thread counts

Because every thread counts