I don't care really. I only care about this headache.
Gah, I so wished I was going to get to stop talking about it. Some days I try to go all around it.
And some days, that's possible. And God knows, I am grateful for those days.
But then there's today.
Went to bed with a pretty intense level of pain, woke up at 4am, with a smasher. I like to call it that, because it reminds me of 'smashing' potatoes with any of the kitchen instruments I have in my twirly Lazy Susan keeper of instruments. Like someone or something has been inside my head with that.
At any rate, I couldn't go back to sleep, so I came downstairs, took Motrin on an empty stomach, only because who eats at 4am? Not I.
Faithful Roy snuggled on the couch with me, and I dozed off finally. I had hopes of waking up with much less of a headache, but that didn't really happen.
So now I am drinking tea, talking to you, trying to be patient.
I ask myself some crazy questions........like could it be the weather???? Because I was pretty ok yesterday, with the headache just a faint hum.
But I went for a massage at 3pm, and when I left......whether it was the weather or something instigated by the massage, even though it was fairly gentle........my headache was all stirred up and angry.
Let me just tell you......I dream of the day that I can say......through tears, I know..............I DON'T HAVE A HEADACHE TODAY.
But still, I am only relating.....please know that sometimes I just need to get it out there. I am not looking for sympathy, I am still very grateful for what I do have.
I just get a little tired, and worn down with it.
Last night, DH told me of someone we know quite well, a really lovely lady, who went to the doctor with a pain in her stomach, and now has a diagnosis of pancreatic and liver cancer, and maybe 6 months. I couldn't stop thinking about her. And about how tenuous our lives are, every minute of every day.
I haven't been weaving rugs since my surgery....too much shoulder work, and thus, neck tension.
But I do tie fringes on them, when Tammy and Lois get a stack done.
I am fast, and I think that nominates me sometimes for "official fringe person."
The other day, Ava went for a walk with Roy and I, and she went ahead with him, and did a little running.
Roy was in heaven. You can tell by his 'flat back ears'.
I loved watching him gallop.
I don't think I would mind winter so much, if the skies were so eternally gray.
Give me snow and cold, with a lot of sun. It makes it so much nicer.
If ever I find that cold, stormy weather makes my head ache, it may be time to leave the northeast.