Sunday, November 25, 2012

Everyday gifts.

My two girls. Sporting the hats that Mimi made them.  Cousins, one year apart, but oh, how they love each other.  It's amazing, and makes my heart sing.  Gabby.  Ava.
What a gift they are.

Usually, I am gearing up right now for the Christmas in the Country event, which always happens the first weekend in December.  It is an OPEN HOUSE, and about 12-13 people participate.  Only a couple, like me, are open year round.  Most of the participants decorate and open their homes to sell their handcrafted wares.
I opted out this year, to everyone's amazement.  I didn't want to be obligated to it, committed, and worrying about not being able to do it justice.
Instead, I said, the studio will just be "OPEN", to whomever drops in.  No pressure, no stress.
I will make some Greek Honey cookies, because that is a Christmas tradition, and I will just be there weaving, or knitting, drinking tea.

If I have a couple of these mobius shawls done by then, terrific.  But if not, that's ok, too.
How ya' liking this new, laid back me???
No, I am not smoking anything.  
I am just accepting of everything in this life I am living.

I was made aware of the importance of gratitude about 20 years ago, when I found Al Anon.
I found it amazing that I had never really paid enough attention to it.

Now, of course, it takes on even a more poignant meaning to me.

Ah, gratitude.
Sometimes, when I am sitting in the sunny upstairs landing, weaving at this loom, I could cry.
With joy, that I can still do this. I can still weave, from the beginning process of warping the loom, to throwing the shuttle and watching the fabric appear.
And I can still do it well.
What a gift.

It's not all roses though.
Some mornings, like this one, I wake up and think my head is exploding.
I move slow.
I take my time.
I eat quickly so I can take Motrin.
And I wait, hopefully, for some relief.

Some times I wonder.
Is this my life, forever??
Will I always be fighting this headache, and always be living this pain?
Will I ever feel normal again?  Will I ever EVER have a day without a headache?

Then another voice, other than mine spewing forth worry and doom, is whispering in my ear.

Your life may change a dozen more times.  TODAY, this day, headache or not, is YOURS.
Make the best of it.
The very BEST. OF. IT.
Get over yourself.

You see those clouds??  They are dark, LOOMING, full of potential storminess.
But like me, I bet what you really find yourself looking at, is the sun, the light, the promise that it will break through and light up your world.
Am I right?


Loomatic said...

When I was younger I had my spine fused and I was miserable for a year. I was tired, awkward and feeling a sense of loss for the things I would not be able to do.

A couple of decades later, I actually have days where I have to remind myself that I have a fused back, because I forget about it.

All I can say, is I believe you will eventually have a day when you forget all this happened :-) It may be a few months away, so be patient. The body takes a long time to heal and adjust to it's new position.

I weave, but I only do it for an hour then I get up and leave it for a break, then later in the day I will do another hour and a bit.

I love to do it, but I know doing it constantly does not make my back happy. Taking a break, my back is happy.

I did a weaving marathon day ONCE, and then had to take a week off with the pain. Setting an alarm to remind me to take a break allows me to still weave, just not as fast as everyone else.

Adapt to what you can do now. I did eventually :-)

Denise at Autumn Sky said...

We only have today, this moment, to live our life as we choose. I heard my dogs playing a few minutes ago, looked outside and just watched them chasing and growling, Zoey keeping the stick away from her brudder. Erik was out watching them and it was just one of those moments to treasure. I paid attention and it brought a smile to my face.

Karen said...

One foot in front of the other.. and I am pretty sure you will be done with the headaches once your whole body has settled down. You're doing a good job of helping it get there now.

Storm clouds have a beauty all their own, don't ya know.

claudia said...

I see the silver lining forming.
I love the look of sun and storm clouds. It's one of the fantastic miracles we have been graced with.
You are making some great choices. I think before you know it, like Loomatic said, you will forget all about htis pain. I know too you will remember the lessons learned from it.
Have a wonderful day!

Anonymous said...

AA and AlAnon are two of the most life-changing organizations on this earth. I find it magical that the lessons (gratitude!) pop up just when I most need them.
Your girls are glorious, as is that fabric you're working on.

Country Gal said...

Live for today that's what I try to do with or with out my chronic pain . I guess the saying goes no pain no gain can kind of ring true ! It was snowing today and it was so peaceful as the snow fell and I was watching the birds at the feeders and then my Miggs was outside snuffling in the snow and I took photos, I thought to myself this is perfect , these are the moments I live for . So many people live life to fast and never get the chance to really enjoy it and those people I feel sorry for there is so much life out there to take in and enjoy slowly . Have a good day !

KarenInTheWoods said...

HUGS to you... ya just keep plugging away and soon you will look back in amazement at all your body can accomplish at it's own pace.

Karen and Steve
(Old Blog Name) RVing: Small House... BIG Backyard
(New Blog Name) RVing: This Country Is Our Big Backyard

Daryl said...

one day at a time ....

Shiralyn said...

You are learning. Looking at the light, not those clouds. I pray daily that the pain will one day be gone forever. . . . . unless you work to hard. Then I am sure it will always be your gauge. Just saying.

A Brit in Tennessee said...

We have both been through the mill these past few months, it's discouraging not being able to do what we want, but I can only believe that days will become brighter, and we will both find a new limit to our days...
You have come ome far my sweet friend, continue your uphill climb.

Cait Throop said...

Love that you're weaving at all, Hilary. And that mobius shawl is breathtaking! Is it chenille?

michelle said...

Gratitude can be so easily - too easily - forgotten in the business of our days. So good to be reminded, to remember that it is not about what we want but instead the importance lies in what we have.

The mobius scarves are gorgeous, are they made with a chenille like thread/yarn?

Deb (cobleskill) said...

Hoping you will be back to good health soon!

Absolutely love the shawl,, what kind of yarn is it,,,, and anything else you can share,,,, I need one on my loom,, it looks like it would be beautiful !!!

Welcome to my world.

Because every thread counts

Because every thread counts