Saturday, August 11, 2012

Oh, dear.

First of all, let me just say that if you leave a comment that merits a reply, and you pop up anonymous, just leave me your email address, so I have that option.

And just to let you know, even if I don't agree with a comment, even if I don't particularly like it, as long as it is not vile or hurtful, I will leave it.  No erasing here, otherwise what is the point?

Now for all of you who responded to my last post, what can I say, except that I love you all.  I sat down last night, and read them all again.  It's like having 3 dozen + friends, who offer their support and their encouragement, and who sit around brainstorming for you.  And your comments are thoughtful, inspiring, and they give me hope.

A friend said:

Keep a found feather.. hold it close to you (in a hat or pouch), Connect That's my way of prayer. It all comes down to the same thing in the end, I believe.

So this morning, while I was cleaning my car.......can you believe that????  I found this on the floor in the back seat.

This afternoon was the first time since Monday that my headache has been less than an EIGHT.
I was getting pretty ragged.  It is such a relief to have a FIVE.  Who knew just three numbers could bring it?

Even so, I am still hopeful that I will soon have the answer.  That I will someday be free of this.
I will keep this feather, because it came to me for a reason.
Just like this headache.

I also believe that I can change the craziness in my life.  I am working on ways to do that.  I know that I need to go slowly at first, you are so right.  Decisions made in pain are questionable.
But for now, I have SUSPENDED weaving weekends, until the headache is under control, or gone.
I am NOT taking any custom orders.  The custom order page, along with the weaving weekend page, is no longer on my web site.
I CANCELLED my participation in the Christmas in the Country weekend, that I have done for the last seven years.

I am changing my hours, starting next week.
I am looking for a getaway in for this fall, and one for a month next summer.

I am taking all this very, very seriously.
This is my life.

Sydney was talking to me today.
I think she approves.
If you turn your volume up, you can hear her.


Country Girl said...

I turned up the volume and heard Syd. Wow! Where are you looking in Maine? Do you need any help in that endeavor? I could help you search the areas you want and send you links. Only if you need it, though, ok? Sometimes it's actually restful to look for vacation properties. But if your head is hurtin', it sure ain't fun and only adds to the stress. xoxo

Hilary said...

:) :)

Rhonda said...

So glad to hear you're taking some time to take care of yourself - my mom is a nurse, and I know the mindset that can come along with it.

It's great that you are simplifying things in your life, even if it's just on a temporary basis - bigger isn't always better, especially if stress might be contributing to that headache of yours.

I hope you enjoy Maine and find what you're looking for, there.

Denise at Autumn Sky said...

We can all learn a lot from Sydney and her approach to life.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful feather, wonderful sign/symbol for you. Oh Hilary, I just had to laugh . . . you were cleaning your car! Do you ever just sit? You're a tornado, full of energy and good will despite being in the clutches of HH. Take care of yourself; no one else will do it for you. And follow your heart. We're all rooting for you . . . (And my email is in case you were targeting me with your comment about anonymous.) Becky

mudmaven said...

Oh what a wise one that Sydney is - you should definitely listen to her advice! Playing blog catch-up and read your post - agree with your reasoning and encourage you to follow your heart (and Syd's advice as well). ~chris

Mrs. Turkey said...

Good rainy morning Hilary....I've tried sending you an email but it came back to me. I wanted to give you a blog address about a place in Maine that you might like called "Spencer Farm Pond Camps".
It's in the back of beyond as I call TV or internet service if I remember correctly. Moose, loons, scenery, and cozy cabins, canoes and friendly people galore. I myself haven't been there but know the area. Beuatiful!
Celia (

MarthaVA said...

Dearest Hilary;
The feather is for sure a sign to listen, ask, and receive. Sometimes, we are not always open to receiving even if we think we are!

Sydney is one smart kitty, telling you that life is meant to be lived, not just for work! She's one smart feline!

It's ok for us to change the way our lives are, if we aren't happy with them, or if what we were doing with them, no longer works.

I hope you find the perfect place in Maine, and that you get more peace, more time for you, and you live to enjoy it. At some point, HH needs to leave though! Try not to focus on HH being there, but on what it's like with no HH......focus, and believe.

Hugs always!

Connie in Hartwood said...

There's something about a purring cat that can make even the worst-seeming situation a little bit better. Sweet Sydney.

India said...

I had headace for several years, I know how it is. you can´t think you eat all the medicin you can find. I took a large step. I just left everything behind. ( Well I saved the loom, but that was all) and started a new life. Now I have headace maybe four or five day´s a year ( I mean real hedace, when you can´t breath) So just take the step, leave it all, it´s the best medicin you can take. Think happy thoughts, look forward and live a life !!

DJan said...

I missed yesterday's post because I was out of town all day and had no time. So I just now read it, and this one too, with all the comments. You are obviously very blessed to have Sydney around to talk with you like that. If there was some magic way for me to make your headache go away, I would do it. I am hoping and praying that something will help you. Maine certainly sounds like it figures into your future...

messymimi said...

You continue to be in my prayers for healing.

Ruth Ann in OK said...

Yea, You!! Sydney was also saying, "You may rub mybelly, if I can get on my back." Take care of you. Ruth Ann

Karen said...

Yahooo!! You're doing the right thing, keeping going :-)

Suzanne said...

There is nothing like a cat purring, It's so soothing. The feather is beautiful - such a lovely color.
I am so happy that you are making decisions to take care of you. That has to be such a relief.

Donna said...

Good for you, sister!
So exciting to see you reclaim parts of your time - and live more fully into the life YOU want!
You paid your dues all those years of nursing - it's your time now.
Go for it!

Daryl said...

Most excellent .. all, especially the special feather ... hugs

Shuttle, Hook and Needle said...

I had been away for a week and when I got back read your last two posts. I can not imagine living with the pain that you have had for the past months. I can only pray that you find an answer to end the pain.

I know that we are on the outside looking in and share your life with what you wish to share with us. I am selfish in that I do not want you to stop blogging. Your blog saved me when I was going through the lost of my mother and my family farm. I check everyday to see what you have written. There have been times that I have laughed, cried and hurt with you.

Years ago I worked as a production weaver for another weaver who made Ikat dyed clothing. That was when my kids were young and I wanted to stay with them so I was able to weave at home. After several years of weaving 25 to 30 yards a week, I burned out. I still love my looms and weaving but I have never recovered the passion I had for weaving since then. When I went back to my studio full time a few years ago I made firm decisions about what I would or would not do. I do not take custom orders and no production work. Both of those takes all the fun and creativity out of the studio for me. There are times when I just follow where ever the creative spirit leads me and I am better for it.

I am glad to see that you are putting limits on what you can do without. I truly hope you do not give up your wonderful house and all of your looms but I do agree you need to get away some. Follow your heart and let it lead you to a place of peace where you need to be.

spindrift,maine said...

When you come to Maine this fall, visit:

Grab yourself a tour map:

Take it a step at a time, but follow your heart.


Lydia La La said...

so life is moving on for you. I can't see this happening yet as you have your Mother, is there a hubby?, the pets and the properties. It would be great if you could get in a reliable house sitter to take that care off your hands and maybe think of a respite arrangement for your Mum.

Isn't it funny that even though we don't make waves for others in our lives, we always have plenty coming at us?
I have had two very important questions answered by the sudden appearance of white feathers. Yep... I believe in feathers as a sign. Your rotten headache is a concern, a huge concern. Maybe go to some one who can cleanse your chakras. As we say in's got me buggered!
Thinking of you, Hilary.

Lydia La La said...

I forgot to tell you that you have ticked 'no reply' in your dashboard and so we can not send you emails in reply when your blog comes into our email box.

Ciao xo

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