Life goes on.

Your response to my pain has moved me to more tears.
To be supported, and encouraged by all of you out there, through this invisible connection
that is blogland, is more than a body could dare expect from the world.
I thank you.
 All day, I have wandered from one thing to the next, trying to put my brain on hold, trying to be strong.
But every once in awhile, the tears would come unexpectedly, and the sadness felt like a weight.

I know my sweet boy is in a better place.  I know that he gave us almost 14 years of love and loyalty, and I know that he has struggled for the last few months.  I said that I didn't want to have to make the decision to euthanize him, but I also said that I wouldn't allow him to suffer, not at all.

And it appears that we are spared that scenario, and Eddie is free from his aging body.

It happened so fast, I am still reeling.

But life goes on.
There is still work to be done, appointments to be kept, responsibilities to be honored.  And sometimes, when life throws you a curve, the best thing to do, is to act "as if" it is all normal and fine.  You know it's not, but if you can act like it is, you can keep moving.  Then, eventually, hopefully, one day you will realize that it is fine, once again, and you don't even know when it happened.
I don't want Eddie to be defined by the day he died.  He was incredibly special from the first time I saw him, at just a few months old, all gangly and goofy.
I wondered today, how it is that his life, from toddler to teenager, to adult,  to old man, and everything in between, could have played itself out in front of my eyes, and suddenly be over.

I want to cover my eyes, and make it all not so.

If only it were so easy.

Eddie, my Eddie

I wasn't going to blog today, I didn't think that I could.
My heart feels like it is going to explode in my chest.
I don't know how else to explain it.

And suddenly, I am at a loss for words.
Me.
I am flailing.  Grieving for a friend that has come to mean so much over the last 13 years.

Last night, Eddie, my sweet, lovable, darling pit bull, loyal to a fault,  went out to take his last pee of the day, and somehow fell into the pool, and drowned.
We are stricken.  Sleepless. Crying, crushed.

We knew that he was very old.  We knew that it would soon be time.
But to have the end sneak up on you, and hit you up side of the head, well, it just seems so cruel.
Maybe tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, it will make sense.
I hope you all understand, but I really don't have anything else to say.

Good night, lovey lou lou.  Good night.

For Dad

Ah, Father's Day.  When my Dad was alive, it was always a challenge to get him anything that he
would actually use.  He didn't play golf.  He didn't read.  His wardrobe consisted of gray pants, and a white tee shirt for as long as he lived.  Except when he got older, then he would turn the heat up to about 88, and lay in his recliner in his blue jockey shorts, watching Jerry Springer.  I think it was his version of lounging at the beach, with entertainment.
My father was one of a kind, there is no debate about it.
Our relationship was mostly rocky, with him trying to tell me what to do, and me doing what I wanted to do anyway.  This went on pretty much my whole life.   He never "got" that I was grown up,  making my own decisions.
He didn't have any tolerance for nonsense, or drama.
He worked, every day, all day.
I know, you're shocked.
I was his only child, and he did the best he could with the fact that I was a 'girl'.  He called me Tom.
And he dragged me around everywhere with him, and surprise, surprise, I worked.
He could do anything.  In my eyes.  He was strong, and he would live forever.  And I wouldn't miss him when he was gone.  Oh, no.  I wouldn't. Said it more than once when we were feuding with each other.

But in the end, he wasn't that strong, and he didn't live forever, and oh Lord, I do miss him, terribly.
And right before he left for new horizons, he told me that I was a "good daughter".  I had waited my whole life for him to say that.
Happy Father's Day, Dad, wherever you are.

But today, I am taking my mother to the Salvation Army church service.  She hasn't gone since she broke her shoulder, so I have had a reprieve, at her expense.
But today, I offered.  I can't do anything for my father today, so I will do it for her.
Who knows, they may convert me.
Unlikely, I know.
DH wants to know why I just can't take the day off, or the morning even, and just sit.  Read, he says.  Watch TV.  (I shudder here)
While waiting to take my mother to church, I scrub bathroom including walls and window and shade, and anything else in my way.

Miss Puss says: (because Sydney has nothing to add)

"Do the best you can do.
 Be yourself.
 I am, and it works for me.
 So there."

Just a little color please.

My feet are brown, and they are up.
Brown cause I dyed today, in sandals, which I know I shouldn't do, but I do it every time.
Up, because I am so tired, I can barely wiggle.

I dyed 5 huge vats of fabric: chocolate brown, marine blue, teal blue, and 2 of butterscotch.
I wound all the yellow that was hanging out into balls.  I untangled and hung out all the rest of the yellow that I dyed.
I worked outside all day, in the sun, and I am once again, toast.

I rolled a whole bunch of sherbert loopers into balls, and hung the remaining two batches out to dry.

I wanted to weave more placemats, but my conscience wouldn't let me.  I knew that I had dyeing to do, and the loopers to take care of.   Not the most fun jobs, but necessary.

I used my new yellow wheel barrow to move the fabric to the house, the loopers to be hung up, and the dry loopers to the porch.  I love this wheel barrow.  It is so handy, and easy to clean.

I rolled up all the loopers in pinks and reds and purples, for more place mats, some other day.

I knew I didn't have time to do anything else.  The lawn mower called me, but I ignored it.
And these placemats called me LOUD, but I didn't do that either.

But tell me these colors don't call to YOU, too????

I wanted to weave all night, making stacks of them.

Unfortunately, my body says enough already.
Damn body.

Rainy day and the winner!!!!

Ah, rainy days.  I have always loved them, even as a kid.  I know it's strange, and I can't begin
to explain it.
I even love to walk in the rain.
I couldn't do some of the stuff I had planned, so I did what I wanted.
I worked on some crazy placecmats in red,purple, and pink.

In case you were asleep.
These ought to wake you up.

I had occasion to see one of Bubbalee's kittens.  He is the last one left, no one has claimed him yet.
He is living with Tammy, and her fiancee, and he seems pretty happy.

He has Bubbalee's tiger stripes on top, and his Dad's white underneath.  He also has the Bunnynose
aka Pete 'nose'.

If he were mine, I would call him Bunnynose.

He sure is a sweetie, and Bubbalee did a good job.

I used Random.org to generate the number.  The number is 27, and the winner is.........drum roll please..............Thistle and Rose Handweaving!!!
Congratulations!  I hope you enjoy your kit.

When I hit 300 followers, I am going to have another giveaway, gotta come up with a doozie.
Good night, all, here comes the weekend.

Yellow and silver.

I have to tell you that I have thoroughly enjoyed all your comments about gray/silver hair.  I am amazed, and encouraged by you all.
The attitudes!!!!!   You go, girls!!!
Isn't it funny that we question ourselves about it, at all, ever??  Men don't.  But we do.
I LOVE that so many of you are being yourselves, and to heck with what other people think you should or shouldn't do.
Now there's nothing wrong with dyeing your hair, and there are those of you out there who are still doing it.  And that's OK.  I have a sneaky feeling that most of you, if not all, will get to where the rest of us are already.  And trust me, the relief will be HUGE.
Yes, yes, it took me plenty of years to get here. I loved my long reddish brown hair when I was 30.
But alas, it is gone.  I can appreciate it in pictures,  and let it go.
I tried to keep up, for a long time.  I dyed my hair for 13 years.  Ack.   I wonder how much of it has seeped into my brain.
Now I get my 'dye' hits in other places.
Ay yi yi.

Yes, we have yellow.
I spent a great deal of the day outside.  This is only about 2/3 of the yellow.  The rest is tomorrow's job.

I think I must be the talk of Kingsbury sometimes.  That crazy weaver woman.

Speaking of yellow, Bubbalee peed in the crate, so that had to be washed.  I understand though. She was frightened.  I guess if someone shut me in a crate, I'd pee.
She is happily done with motherhood, and she is living with the neighbors.  I hope she has a long, happy life.
And yes, I am pleased that it turned out so well, and that I was able to make a difference, even a small one.

Part of my day was untangling the loopers on the fence, winding them into balls, and hanging another batch out there.  There were 6 big containers to start with, three are finished, waiting to be rugs.
Waiting to be rugs.
I like that.
Ah, too much sun today.

Finally done with all these chores, I headed home......but first I stopped to pick up my 'gift to myself'.
I am so excited.

My brand new bicycle. 21 speed, with gear changes that you make by twisting the handle.  And they are numbered, for novices like me, who never know what gear they are in.
I wanted a YELLOW bike, but I got silver, which matches some of my hair, and in time will match it all.

I tell ya, it's like driving a caddy, after driving a tractor.
So after dinner, even though my butt was already dragging, I had to go for a bike ride.  It was so much fun, I stayed out riding longer than I intended.
Now I am toast.
My bed will feel 'extra special good'.
I can hardly wait.

An angel and a buckboard?????

Wow, if I was wondering if you were all out there reading my blog, or if in fact, I was talking to myself, I guess I know the truth now.
YOU ARE THERE.
I AM SO HAPPY.
Not that I don't talk to myself on a regular basis, because I do.
It feels quite normal, too, I might add.
I took another day off  today, I am getting quite bad, or good, at this.......depending how you look at it.
But today, my little pumpkin graduated from kindergarten.  I couldn't miss that, now could I?

And it was another way to get my mother out of the house, and speeding her way to a recovery of sorts.

The face of an angel.
Don't buy it for a minute.
She has the power.  And she knows it.

She's gotten so tall.  It is amazing to me how quickly they grow up. Maybe it's because I am "older".
Ack.  Older than what is the question.
Or not.
I was in a position the other night to observe a woman my own age.  She looked like she had just been to the beauty salon. Her hair, dyed a  dark brown, and then highlighted, cut in a fashionable new cut.
It looked nice.
 I was so not impressed, I knew what it took.  At the same time, I was very conscious of my own drab brown in the back silver in the front cut short and sassy hairdo.  That cost about 1/10th of what hers cost, and took about 1/10th the time, and that's if you count my complete shower.
I have occasionally found myself wanting to look in the mirror and see a head of rich hair color.
But as I perused hers, I realized how REALLY OK I am with my own head, just the way it is.
With my money in my pocket to spend on other really neat stuff, and my time not wasted.
Precious time.

As my hair turns whiter/silver/loses color, and as I cut it shorter and shorter, it is apparent that I have my father's wild head of hair.
So DH lovingly calls me Mort Head, when my hair is flying wild.
That was my Dad's name.
I'm OK with that.
wow.

For a while now, I have had this wild idea that I wanted to have a buckboard in the front yard, right out near the OPEN flag, a place to hang some colorful rugs on a summer day.   I looked everywhere, and couldn't find one.  So I decided to have one made.  First I bought the wheels, and then my carpenter took them home to work on it.
Two days ago, I found a buckboard for $150.  It was perfect.  But I knew that getting it home would not be an easy job.  So I pondered it.  And today my phone rang, MY buckboard was done and on its way.
Luckily I had not bought the other one.

Tomorrow I'm going to hang some rugs on it.

Isn't it perfect???
I love it.
If only I had a horse.

Kingsbury's Most Wanted....

I am doing the happy dance.   Today was the BEST day!!!!!!
Finally.........it happened.
Success!!!!!!!!!
Bubbalee has been captured.
For all of you who have followed this story, you know how much this means.

As you can see, she is not willingly giving up her promiscuous ways.   She was more than a little annoyed.

L and I have been taking care of her, and worrying about her, and trying to catch her for almost a year.
I was beginning to lose hope of ever stopping the vicious cycle of her having litter after litter of kittens.
L kept saying we were going to catch her, but I had my doubts.
Finally, we enlisted the help of the neighbors, remember she had her kittens under their shed.  Bunnynose, aka Pete, is theirs.  Well, it seems, that after the kittens were gone, she started hanging around with Pete, and wandering into their house with him.  They, wisely, ignored her.  She ate, she came in, she went out.
At this point, I took my big crate over for them.
They couldn't pick her up, but eventually she let them pet her.
At this time, I stopped putting food out for her, to encourage her to settle in where she was.
Today, she wandered close to the crate, and they quickly pushed her in and slammed the door.
She is at the vet's now.
Hallelujah, and thank you God.
I can't tell you how incredibly happy and relieved I am.  It will be the best money I've spent in a while.
For sure.
They have agreed to keep her, and now she will have a peaceful life without being at the mercy of something she doesn't even understand.

I dyed today.

Measured the dye.....for medium color, 3 tspns per lb of fabric.

Mix it up in a larger container.....2 cups of water for 3 tspns of dye.
I am not very exact on this measurement.
I add water until it looks good.

My husband would say that's the nickey-hokey way to do it, my father would have told me it was the half-assed way.
But it's my way.

Then I put the mixed up dye in this big plastic tub, 2.5 gallons of water for every lb of fabric.
Yeah, OK.
Now to add the salt, 1.5lb for every lb of fabric.

Stir it up good.  I have an old wooden spoon for this.
Now mind you, if you want the color darker, you need to increase all these values.

Now add all that lovely white fabric I've been cutting all week.
Check out my WHITE hair in the front.
I USED to dye THAT orange.

But let's just stick to fabric today.
Mix it all up good.

After the fabric has soaked in the dye bath, it gets removed from this container, and put back in the
dye bath, with soda ash (dye activator) added to it, 5 tblspns per lb of fabric.
As you can see, you have to weigh the fabric first so you know what you are dealing with.

After it has soaked in this combination for a while, it needs to be rinsed.  And you have 50 lbs of yellow fabric.  Voila.
Just like that.
All in all friends, simply a day to DYE for.
I mean it.

Reconciliation and a Giveaway!!!!

Now I know the title is a bit misleading.  I have not reconciled with anyone, there is really no one to reconcile with.
Oh, there is one person I am SO done with.  A disrespectful blight on the earth.
But that's another story.
I am on pretty good terms with everyone I know.
The reconciliation is a MONTHLY duty, with Quick Books, the accounting program I use to keep my business on track.
I think they called it QUICK Books because they had a sick sense of humor.
Anyway, once a month, I have to balance it all out.  Twice.  Once for my Paypal account, and once for my bank account.
Now the Paypal account can be a few dollars off, I am not a stickler about that.
But my bank account has to balance, preferably to the penny.
Some months are easier than others.  Some months just stink.
But I am nothing if not determined.
I have been working on May's reconciliation for four days, on and off.  I work on it for awhile, leave it, go back, work some more.
I don't let myself get too crazily annoyed, I walk away if I feel myself getting that way.Then I do something else, and go back at it fresh.
Today, day four, but who's counting, I got it down to a $99 difference.   Now that figure did not come up anywhere....so how could that be?
Out loud, I said....they are JUST numbers, that's all.  They HAVE to add up.  It's factual.  There is no reason for this NOT to work.
Finally, after staring at the screen, and the lists of deposits, and checks, for what seemed like hours, I saw a $1.00 error, which led me to believe that I had taken out $100.00 at some point, from the ATM, arriving at $99.
And there it was.
Why don't balloons explode out of the top of my computer when I get it??
That's what I want to know.
So, at last, I am reconciled.
In between, I hung out some bleached loopers to dry.

I had to empty some containers so I can dye fabric tomorrow.
It looks like it will be a 'good day to dye'.
Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Last week, L and I wove the 5x7 sock rug for an order, and these are the two rugs we wove for the shop.


Wild pink and purple, with some lime and turquoise thrown in.

Purple, turquoise and lime green.

And now for the giveaway........
I am going to use the random number picker......so you don't have to name anything this time.

The giveaway is a Hip to Be Square Rag Rug Kit.

Kit consists of the 9" square looper loom, two hooks, directions, and enough loopers to make a 2'x3' rag rug.

Or you could just make a whole bunch of potholders from this kit, instead of a rug.  It's your choice.

You know you're gonna love it, and if you don't, it makes a great gift!!!!
All you have to do is be a follower, and comment, but please, leave your name or email address or something so I can contact you if you win.
I will draw the number on Saturday night, June 17th, around 6pm.  The winner will be announced then.

Just one thing....if you don't live in the continental US, you can still win, but you will have to pay shipping.

Coming up tomorrow, a big dye mess.  I will try to take pictures.  Stay tuned.

Lazy Sunday

This taking Sunday off thing is getting  to be habit forming.
Possibly.

But the "girl" was playing softball, and the season is over soon.  Big incentive to be there.

She slugged one out over third base, and then she ran like the wind.

Someone is looking a little wistful.  
She'll be playing soon.

It was also a good day to get the "old girl" out and about.  She is doing better, but sometime she gets a little "house bound".

I got to see all three of my daughters, and all four of my grandkids.
There is just nothing better than that.

What a cute bunch, eh??

Ah, Sundays, and family.  

I'm with Karen over at This Old House .......too much bad news and sensational headlines for me.
Trying to keep my life, and my mind, in simple mode.
It is easier to see from this perspective.  I don't need as much as I thought I did, say 20 years ago.  I am happier with less, what I want from my life has changed.
I am so fortunate in so many ways.  Every day is a gift.  I can make it count, or not.
Today counted.
I want to make them all count.