After yesterday's all day downpour, the sun today was so welcome. It got really warm, in the 60's, and the weather was just incredible. Then, right in the middle of Roy's mid afternoon walk, the sky turned black, and it THUNDERED.
Are you kidding me??
And then it poured again, and is still pouring.
You know that since my surgery, I have been slowly getting back into my studio routine. Or trying to.
But 6 weeks into it, I find that a whole day is still pretty much 'too much'.
Headache, neck pain, general malaise.
And I come home. I am amazed at how much better I feel today than I did just the first of September, so I am very hopeful that by Christmas, I will be even that much more myself.
But more than that, I have been finding that the studio agitates me. I get feeling overwhelmed with the sheer magnitude of all my STUFF. 15 looms. REALLY?
FABRIC..........thousands of pounds. SOCKS. LOOPERS. And on ....and on. Four cats inside, and two cats outside.
Let's not even talk about PRODUCT. Finished PRODUCT. It boggles my mind.
So I find myself walking around, feeling like Lucy wrapping chocolates on a conveyor belt that goes faster and faster. Wondering who keeps turning up the speed.
My daughter says maybe they did something to my brain while they were in there.
Anyway, this morning, I went to the studio, not sure of what to do next.
But when I got there, it occurred to me that I just needed to make ONE room feel NOT CRAZY BUSY.
So I started in the living room.
Then Tammy showed up, and she helped me.
She says that I am finally talking like a normal person.
I just know that I need serene.
I need uncomplicated, not overwhelming.
I need the studio to be what it was when I started out 7 years ago.
Respite. Refuge. Lovely peace. A safe haven, a place to create and weave.
Just the Hammett in the living room, warped for placemats. I love this loom, it just fits me.
There are four old chairs in the living room, always covered with fabric of some sort, which is changed periodically to keep the cat hair down.
One chair for each cat.
I am thinking that perhaps my business needs to change, to accommodate having a real life.
My recently revamped brain thinks this is a good idea.
In order to do that, something needs to happen.
I am contemplating giving up custom orders completely.
It's a big move. It will drastically alter my income.
But it will also free up a lot of time, do away with a lot of worry and hassle.
Secondly, I am going to schedule weaving weekends, maybe four a year, instead of doing them whenever someone calls and requests one. Or............do away with weaving weekends altogether.
A long time ago, I told a friend, that if I could, I would just weave what I want to weave, and people would buy what they want. Period.
No crazy jumping through hoops trying to match fabrics, trying to please customers.
I have realized that there is absolutely nothing stopping me from doing exactly that. Weaving what I want. Nothing else.
Sometimes, more is not better. I actually spend more money to make more money. I think I would be just as happy to make half as much, and work half as hard.
I don't now how this is going to play out, but I am just going to downsize and organize one room at a time, until Crazy as a Loom feels like it should.
In my head, there is a list of looms that I know will stay, and a few that won't. Finally, I realize that I don't need 15 looms.
I just need the right looms.