I must admit, that phrase was beginning to annoy me pre-surgery. My head was slamming, and I couldn't imagine anything any different. It was an awful place I was in.
I have been exhausted with it, and probably not all that pleasant to be around.
When the stretcher I was on rolled into the same OR I'd been in twice before, the tears were just streaming down my face. I wanted them to knock me out, and do it soon. I wanted to escape, from the pain, and the anticipation of all that was coming. The OR was full of people preparing for the EVENT about to occur. I didn't want to see any of it.
Behind my closed eyes, I could see my mother's hand gently placed over mine. Then I imagined kayaking on a crystal clear Adirondack pond. That's the last thing I remember until I woke up in the Recovery Room.
The very first thing I did, having learned well from the two previous surgeries, was to move my feet, and my hands. Ah. I am not paralyzed or even close. Put that fear aside.
Then my daughter appeared, looking relieved. That meant everything.
I stayed in recovery all afternoon. Two nurses took care of me: Debbie and Malvia.
The recovery room was rocking busy. But about 4pm, it slowed down a bit, and both nurses sat there looking exhausted. I asked them if they would come over to my stretcher. They looked puzzled, but both got up, one on each side of me.
I had something to say. I felt so compelled to say it, I could barely stand it, so I said:
"My mother just passed away, and this is my third surgery on my head in 14 months, AND I've had a headache for two years. When I rolled into surgery this morning, I was nothing but a raw nerve.
I come out to recovery, and YOU TWO treat me like a human being, not just a patient. You have been sweet and kind and caring to me all day long. I can not begin to tell you how much I needed just that. It is priceless, and you both are very special ladies. I was going to send you a card, then I realized how much I just needed to tell you."
Here I am, after I was transferred to the surgical floor, next day I think.
My bff asked me where I got my Victoria Secret apparel from.
I woke with this compulsion to get better NOW. I demanded and ate a regular dinner that night. I refused the bedpan, and went straight to the bathroom. I walked in the hall the morning after.
I'm OK, I'm OK, I'm OK........that's what I kept telling myself.
So much so that the doctors said I could go home. We left Long Island on Thursday, the day after surgery, at about 7pm. It was good, because we missed a lot of traffic. I took the pain meds right before we left and slept most of the way home. I got home at 10:30pm, and went right to bed.
I really do wish they would stop messing with my head. :)
Sweetness has arrived.
If this doesn't make a body feel better, then nothing will.
A THREE????? I could live with and LOVE a THREE.
I feel amazing. I am hardly taking the pain meds. I am blessed, so blessed.
All the prayers, all the good energy and positive thoughts of all my family and friends, have come to fruition.
What else could it be?