Good hair day

First off, I want to thank Kate over at Chronicles of a Country Girl for the great plug she gave my Hip to Be Square Looper Loom.
And as always, her pictures are incredible.

I have been struggling for a few years with a decision that can only be mine.
Let's go back.
For years now, I have been dyeing my hair. It started with a trip to California, back when my oldest grandson was a baby. I went with my youngest daughter to Monterey to spend some time with him. Both of my daughters converged on me, and convinced me to dye my hair, which was looking drab, they said, and getting gray.
That was 13 years ago. I have tried different shades of the reddish brown that resembled my own natural color back in the day. I have tried highlighting, cutting it short, letting it grow.
Now let me say that my hairdresser does a great job. My hair color is usually stunning.
Everyone says, wow, nice color job.
So here's my problem.
Every time I look in the mirror, I see this 40 year old hair, and this 60 year old face. I say, "no more." Then it comes time to get my hair done, and I cave in, and come out a redhead, again.

From october

Like this. Until today.
She cut my hair, and then I said, "That's perfect. Let's leave it just like that."
She said, "Are you sure?"
"Yup. I'm sure."
I may at some point highlight it, if I am so inclined. But no more chemical dye on my scalp.
Done, finished, NOT HAPPENING.
The unvarnished truth is that I want to be loved and accepted for who I am, and who I am has nothing whatever to do with the color of my hair.
Truth is, I HATE having my hair colored. Hate the process, hate the smell, hate the cost, and hate being bothered with it. I have never been a 'girly-girl', although I can get dressed up with the best of them. It is time, for me, to listen to my heart.
I actually took the day off today.
I took my mother to the church of her choice. I got my hair cut. Then my daughter, and her boyfriend, and her best friend came for dinner. DH made his famous spagetti and meatballs, and I made 2 apple pies.
It was a good day, a quiet day, and I am feeling very satisfied. Life is good, and I bet it will be just as good with a silver head, as a red one. Besides, it is something to look forward to.
The only thing I will miss is when the DH refers to me and the dog as the "Redhead and Ed Show".
Do you think maybe he will do it anyway? If I ask him real nice?

Coupla pics, coupla thoughts

On the way to the studio this morning, after a breakfast of blueberry/pecan pancakes, YUM-O.......
I saw this.

From october

There were actually three of them, but this was the closest.


You don't mind if I lay here, do ya?

From october

Oh, wow, I love blue jean rugs!!! This is NICE!

From october

Hey, you guys........check this out.

From october

Sydney is bent on 'helping' me. After I finished tying fringe on the blue jean rugs, and got them packed up for the UPS man on Monday, I started an 18 ft runner. When I make the 'wave' rugs, I make a mess. Big time. It's how I like to work, creating it as I go.

From october

I got it half done today, and I was pleased with that much progress.

From october

On the way home tonight, I saw this man walking down the sidewalk, reading a book.
Now in the list of things I do NOT understand, that is one of them.
Why would anyone walk and read? Can't he find someplace to sit and enjoy his book?
Isn't he afraid he will trip not watching where he is going?
WTH?

Did you ever wonder when you really grew up? We think we are grown up when we go off to college, and when we start families of our own. When we start our career.
But I think for me that I really grew up when I found myself divorced, alone, raising my children. Working two jobs. Knowing that the buck did, indeed, stop right at my feet. Suddenly, no one could do it for me. I was really, really on my own, with other people that depended on me. That was when I knew that I had grown up, after all.
I was thinking about that today, and remembering how the simplest of things made me happy back then. Having a cup of tea ( I think I was drinking coffee back then) in a sunny window. Walking barefoot over a floor I had just cleaned. Being able to buy my kids new sneakers.
It is amazing how you can take so much for granted, when you don't have to work that hard for it anymore.
I don't dwell on how hard those times were, but I hope I never forget the painful lessons I learned. What's important, what matters after all is said and done.
Hope you're having a great weekend!!!

Aaaa-choo

OK, a little tidbit for ya.
I sneeze when I look at the sun. I do. Honest.
It is called Photic Sneeze Reflex, and it is a genetic trait that affects 18-35% of the population.
So my question is............are you in that percentage?

Today I did some weaving. I call this style of rug "the wave rug".
I cut the strips of fabric thin, and wind them together on the shuttle, changing the colors each time.
It is a way of using many colors in a rug without the rug looking striped.

From october

It is one of my favorite rag rugs to weave.

My new helper/apprentice person, whom we shall call "L"......has been working hard.
Cutting jeans, making Hip to Be Square Looper Loom kits, sweeping up, moving selvedge from the attic to the barn loft, and best of all, helping me weave BIG RUGS.
Hallelujah. And she knows EVERYONE in Kingsbury. I am not kidding.
She has found several people to clean loopers for kits, and even people to sew blue jeans.
Oh, my....I may actually get caught up and organized.
Yeehah!!!!
All week long, my dear mother has complained of this pain, and that pain. She told me that she would be in the hospital soon. Several times, I asked her if she wanted me to take her to the ER.....she declined. One night, she actually said, "not now, maybe later" and I knew it was because she was going to watch "Dancing With the Stars".
So I made an appointment for her with her doctor. This morning, as she was getting ready to go to that appointment, I said to her, make sure you tell him all your concerns.
She turned to me, and said....................are you ready???????
"What the hell am I going to the doctor's for, anyway?"
Wine, tranquilizers, a sandy beach on a deserted island, a huge plate of big fat peanut butter cookies, a half gallon of pistachio ice cream.

Are you catching my drift here?

Then the heating experts were at the studio to install one heater here, and another there. But they left for lunch and never came back. Said they had an emergency.
After dinner I realized that I hadn't closed the outside door to the cellar, and that the skunks would be cavorting down there tonight, so back to the studio I went.

So, how was your day????

Duh.

I love rainy days. Always have, probably always will. I wish I could tell you why, but I really can't. I just do.
Had some paper work and some computer work to do, but it was interrupted frequently.

From october

It was a sweet day to weave and drink hot tea.
Ahh.
I am so easily pleased sometimes.

From october

I am feverishly working on orders, making money and putting that money right back into Hip to Be Square Looper Looms. Crazy? Maybe. But I am one of those people who believe that if you don't stick your neck out sometimes, you will never know what you might have accomplished.
I will be either "nuts and really poor", or "nuts and making money". Either way, I am nuts, according to many.
And it doesn't bother me one bit.
Driving the four miles to the woodworker's to pick up more looper looms, I thought about blogging.

From october

What was it that Socrates said?
"The unexamined life is not worth living."
I think that blogging leads me to the examination, on a daily basis, of my life and how I live it. It makes me ponder what I am doing, and why. It keeps me honest, mostly with myself. Because of it, I give myself permission to stop, take the picture, even if people are looking at me like I am crazy.

From october

I think I turn over stones that I might leave unturned otherwise.
Reading your comments, I realize that I am not alone. I am not the only daughter who had issues with Dad. Not the only one who yearned for his attention, and ultimately, his approval.
As I may have mentioned before, my father treated me like the son he never had. He bought me a 50 lb compound bow, a 303 Savage deer rifle, took me fishing, taught me how to double clutch his 1951 Ford pickup. He taught me to be independent, hard working. He was a straight shooter who didn't often ask for help. He had no compunctions about patterning his young daughter after himself.
Someone once said to me, "You don't want any man telling you what to do."
Duh. Does anyone?
Thanks, Dad, for helping me to believe in myself.

Time flies.

Five years ago, in March, I bought the house that is now the studio. It was "meant to be". I am sure of that. The lady that I bought it from was so happy that I was going to 'bring some life back' to the old house, she allowed me to put a loom there even before the closing. So for about two months, all I had there was a loom, a lamp, and a cupboard for fabric and jeans.
This is Ava, and I was trying to imprint weaving on her, so that someday, she will want to weave like her Mimi.
This picture reminds me of what makes me happiest. My family, and my weaving. Simple, really.
So whenever I get a little overwhelmed, or a little crazy (crazier than usual), I need to look at this.
My Dad died five years ago today. I always said I would never miss him.
I lied.
I am sure that somehow he knows
At the end, he told me I was a good daughter. I had waited 50+ years to hear it.
Still, I was grateful to have heard it at all.
He got to see my studio for a few months. He loved it, too.
He approved, after all.

Looking ahead.

It's been a busy two days. I had a student from Quebec.

From october

She was a pleasure to teach.
She had a loom given to her, and she is anxious to get weaving on it.
I think she is definitely hooked.

From october

She did a nice job on this rug.

From october

Miss Puss approves.

From october

I love happy, new weavers.
While she was weaving, I was busy sewing the sides of placemats.
But first, I had to take my sewing machine apart, it needed to be cleaned badly.

From october

Tonight is one of my favorite shows. Not that I have that many. But for some reason I like "The Good Wife". So I am going to prop my eyelids open, so I can stay up long enough to see it.
I put my flannel sheets on, a sincere goodbye to summer.
It's hard to think about what is to come. October is so beautiful, winter seems so improbable.
But yet we can't avoid it.
It is kind of like warping a loom. Unavoidable. You just settle into it, and breathe.
There's always spring on the other side.

A little less conversation

Ay caramba.

From october

That's an awful lot of Hip to Be Square Looper Looms!

From october

"Can we talk?"

Hmm. Yes, I do wonder sometimes how I get myself into these places.
All this started with one little question in my head. An idea, some brainstorming, more ideas, more brainstorming. The end product evolved over a few months. There was a lot of collaboration.
While I occasionally shake my head, and say OMG, I am pleased with the results. Sometimes, you just have to follow your gut feeling. I believe in this and I believe it will be ultimately successful.
Unfortunately, marketing is not one of my favorite things to do. But I have to get over it.
" You gotta learn how to relax." (yawn)

From october

I'm trying. I really am.

From october

October in the Adirondacks. It really is a beautiful place to live.

Not mine.

After taking a few days off in Maine, Friday was a day of work. My new apprentice (thank you, God) and I wove a 6'x9' blue jean rug. We wove straight through lunch. I love working with someone who works like I do.

From october

I was in kind of a hurry today, so I couldn't wait for the sun to get around the house. The rug is now packed up and ready for its trip to Toronto, Ontario.
Miss Puss approves. Right, Miss Puss? You do approve, right?
Oh, forget it.

From october

On Saturday, I took another day off......I KNOW....unbelievable, isn't it?
But I did it.
I did it for love.

From october

(I still want some of these undies, I'm serious)

I am a fool for my 4 grandkids. I tell ya. So I took three of them to the local art center, for a workshop where they learned to make their own puppets. It was a big hit.

From october

Then we went to Applebee's for lunch.
Then back to the art center for the puppet show called "The Firebird", put on by the Puppet People.

From october

Spending time with them just makes me feel good. They keep me on my toes.

From october

They keep me up to date with what is really important.

From october

While I am weaving, I often think about my three daughters. I remember them as children, and I am in awe of them all grown up. I recall how devastated I felt when they were old enough to leave home and go off on their own, to college, then to careers, and ultimately, families of their own. Children are a wonderful thing, but they weren't mine to keep. But the joy, and the love, continues on, with their children. Family.
Love.

From october

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Let's wrap it up!

Finishing up on Maine, ok?
We got up early, and got on the road. DH and I both agree on that one.

From october

It was cold, but still a beautiful morning.

From october

Then, because we could, and because it is somewhat of a tradition with us, we stopped at CONGDON'S!
You who know Congdon's totally understand our compulsion. You know who you are!

From october

I wanted one of EVERYTHING. I can't help it.
It is the antithesis to Weight Watchers.
The scourge of any diet plan you ever heard of.

From october

You know what I'm talking about.

From october

No Dunkin Donuts here. The real deal, made this morning.....fresh, right here.
Amen.

From october

So now we can say goodbye to Maine, for another October. Sugar on our fingers.

From october

I have actually been back at work since these pictures, but it is nice to take my time posting them. Reliving it, so to speak. It was a nice break.
I think I have decided to take MORE breaks. I know, I go through this periodically. Work like a dog, then try to slow myself down. I guess it is destined to be an ongoing struggle.
Guess I'm a work in progress.
I love all of your comments....makes me feel like I have a whole lot of friends all over the globe.
Now tell me, how can ya' hate that?

Got to get back to weaving, and packing up Hip to Be Square Looper Looms.
And one of my Weaving Weekenders cancelled for the last week of October, so I have to advertise the opening.
Tonight, I am just going to put my feet up.
Just call me slacker. :)

Just one.

It must seem like we go to Maine and EAT.
Well, we do. I think I gained 5 lbs.
Billy's Chowder House is one of our favorites.

From october

And this one.

From october

We ate in the dining room upstairs.

From october

It is such a serene and lovely place to have lunch.

From october

I was thinking a lovely glass of wine would be nice.

From october

But I refrained.
Every time I go here, I get the crab cake sandwich, with cilantro lime sauce.
I would have taken a picture BEFORE I actually ate some of it, but my camera is being temperamental. I think it needs to be cleaned, or needs service of some kind.

From october

Since this was a quick trip, so to speak, we took in the sights, and didn't plan much.

From october

Sometimes that is just enough. Distance from the routine. If only for a blip in time.

From october

My husband would NOT stop and let me OUT of the car. He said I would have to take a picture from the car, and he would slow down.

From october

He was afraid I would TAKE the sign, since I had mentioned that "weaver" would be nice out in front of the studio.
I don't know where he gets these ideas.

Old houses. Just love them.

From october

Big stones, and stone work....love that too.

From october

Ah, and the ocean.

From october

It was cold, but the ocean is beautiful, no matter what the temperature.

From october

And on our last night there, we found a new favorite restaurant, right on the ocean, called Lord's Harborside. I took this pic on the way down the road to the restaurant. It was just getting dark.

From october

Now here's a question for you........if you blog, would you be OK if noone read it? Noone at all?
I remember when I first started my blog. I wrote 7 entries in 2007, and only 35 in 2008. I don't think many of them were read by anyone but me. It was OK, cause I was just warming up to it, and not sure where I was headed with it.
It brings to mind that old riddle......if a tree falls in the forest, and noone is around, does it make any noise? I have always answered that with "who really cares?"
And then I think about my old English Literature professor, in college so many years ago. She said that day after day, she looked over the pupils in her classroom, and she knew that many of them were there for the credit, and nothing more. But she said that as long as she saw one person with light in their eyes, and an obvious desire, she was happy. Just one, she said.
So while I don't pay much attention to stats, and I couldn't probably say how many read this blog, I 'feel' that you are out there. And if my meanderings, my commentary, my pictures, my life, my dreams, my struggles, touch just ONE of you......well, then.......that's just enough.
Thanks for being out there.