Happy Day

There are some tough things going on right now, especially with my mother.

But in spite of it all, life goes on.
We have to keep moving forward.  Life insists.

We had a baby shower for my youngest this past weekend.

Happiness reigned, in spite of a few tears.

We are all excited and can't wait for Baby Dale.

My bff knitted her this beautiful little sweater.
Morgan looks like she is going to bawl.
It's ok, it's washable.

In addition to lovely gifts, everyone brought the baby a book, to start her library.

At the last minute, I made this chenille baby blanket for her, and that was her favorite thing of all 

the things I made.

Go figure.

Maybe because I have always had a chenille bedspread since I was a little girl.

And now her little girl has one.

The party was held at The Tailored Tea and it was perfect.

My mother has long stopped knitting, but about 10 years ago, when she still had her needles out, she made this sweater, "for when Morgan has a baby".
Perfect color, right on Mom.
This did bring on the tears.

 Morgan is a cat lover, known to all for her passion....so Ava made a picture showing her Aunt "Momo" as a mommy cat, and her baby, Dale, as a kitten.
Don't you wonder sometimes how kids think.
I often wish I could still think that way.

 

More tears?

Geesh, this is a PARTAY!

A while back, I wanted to show you all a sweater that I was knitting, but I couldn't, since my daughters often check out what I am up to.  Hmm.

Here are some shots I took when it was done.

  I was quite pleased with it, but I have to say it was the hardest thing I have ever knitted.

 Here I am with my girls.
Whenever I think that life is hard, and I am overwhelmed, I think of them.
They are SO worth it.

Holly Jo on the left, Brooke in the black.

 

Morgan on the left, my baby, with her best friend, and my adopted daughter, Jo.

And let's not forget Dale's Daddy.

This is going to be a beautiful baby.

Life may be hard sometimes, and sad, but it can be so good, your heart feels like it will pound right out of your chest.
Isn't that the truth?

Daydreaming on Saturday

In my alternate life, I reside in a small town in Maine.  I live in an old white house that has seen better days, in a tiny village that is mostly quiet. But the ocean is just a walk away, and when the wind blows, I can smell it, and it's heaven.
My OPEN flag is out some days, when I feel like putting it out there.  I've taken the front parlor as my "shop", and there are stacks of rag rugs, and place mats, and a couple of racks of shawls and scarves, only what I WANT to make.  My looms are in the back of the house, in a room that used to be the summer kitchen.  There are windows all around, and the light is perfect.  I usually weave in the mornings, but since I live here, I can weave whenever I want.  It's heaven.

I don't do custom anymore.  In fact, I don't do anything in the world of weaving except what I want to do.

I had thought of buying a cottage on a pond, but then thought better of that.  Realistically, when you get REALLY old, do you want to be alone out in the woods?  Just because you love the loons?

Instead, I take my kayak to one of several nearby ponds, on a weekly basis.  Sometimes I go in the early morning, and sometimes in the evening to catch the sun going down.  Sometimes I just 'float' and watch the loons with their babies.  Or sometimes, Roy and I just walk until we find a place to rest, and I read my book while he soaks up sunshine.

I have some blogger friends coming this weekend for a little get together.  There are plenty of places for them to sleep here, and we're going to drink a little wine, and laugh a lot.
I'm making some Maine fresh blueberry muffins, and fresh pesto from my basil in the garden.  We'll definitely be eating some lobstah and chowdah, and whatever else is fresh and local.

It's a good life.  I don't worry about "business" anymore.  I just sell what I make, on my terms.  No pressure.
I guess I've retired, something I never really imagined that I would do.
I don't have any responsibility to take care of anyone, and the freedom to live my life on a daily basis is a precious gift.
I also love not having two houses.  My studio and my home are the same place.  It's incredible.  I can weave in my pajamas, or late at night.  I can work for a half hour and go do something else.  Or I can work all day.
It's a wonderful thing.

In fact, this alternate life is so peachy, I may not go back to my "real" life at all.
Ha!

So what?

 Miss Puss says: "So what?"

Sydney's box is falling apart.   I know the feeling.

My life is pretty chaotic, trying to juggle all the different parts, trying to stay productive and unstressed at the same time, when neither seems likely.

My time at the studio is a few hours here and a few hours there, so my weaving is sporadic.
 Little of this, little of that.

 

Because I know that I am under a lot of pressure, I have been trying especially hard to be nice to myself.

So yesterday I got a massage.

And then I took myself to lunch........for my favorite gazpacho, and half a tuna sandwich.

Part of being good to myself involves weaving what moves me.

And today, this did.

Occasionally, I am asked where my ideas come from......you know, why I am weaving what I am weaving......and truthfully, I have no idea.   Things just pop into my head sometimes.

Ah, now I know why Miss Puss is in your box, Miss Queen of Everything.

Tonight, I spent some time in the garden, remember the one I planted somewhat late?

 In spite of it all, my little garden is growing just fine.  Pretty, it's not.  Maybe next year it will be pretty.
But it is producing. And that's enough.

Oh, yeah.

Still doing it one day at a time, because nothing works as well.   Really.

Sunday slump.

Today started out to be a tough one......I found myself exhausted, overwhelmed, and discouraged.

But it's amazing what the love and support of family and friends can do.
Even friends I've never met.

First, I got this email from a return customer...........

.".....THE RUG ARRIVED ON FRIDAY EVENING AND WE THINK IT IS GORGEOUS!  THE COLORS REMIND US OF OUR FAVORITE BEACH ON MARTHA"S VINEYARD, IT IS SO LOVELY AND HARMONIOUS.  YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL TALENT AND SENSE OF COLOR ...  .................................................

.......YOUR BEAUTIFUL WORK GIVES US PLEASURE EACH AND EVERY DAY AND ADDS SUCH PEACEFULNESS AND HARMONY TO SPENDING OUR SUMMERS ON MARTHA'S VINEYARD.  

WITH MUCH APPRECIATION,

JUDY"

 Here's their rug.

It is a lovely, warm feeling, to be appreciated for what I am passionate about.  One of these days, I  am going to get back to it without distraction.

Then I got an  email from my bff, reminding me of stuff I knew, but needed to hear anyway.  That's what best friends are for.
My oldest childhood friend called me on the phone to offer  up some words of wisdom.
One of my daughers called, just to let me know she was thinking of me.
I got texts, and emails, and phone calls, and before long, I was feeling better.
Remembering all the things I have to be grateful for.   A great family, good ......exceptional .....friends.  So many things.

I made this tonight.  It was one of those Facebook things that get passed around.  

There are sauteed onion and garlic underneath slices of zucchini, yellow squash, potato, and tomato.

I only had one tomato.

The recipe called for thyme.  I used fresh basil.

It called for Italian cheeses, I used feta.

You cover with foil, and bake at 400 degrees for 30 minutes, then uncover it put the cheese to melt.

And I was liberal in my use of salt and pepper.

As I am wont to do.

I've always loved that phrase.  Wont to do.

I had it with Morning Star Asian veggie burgers, which I am somewhat addicted to.
I guess it could be worse.

Did I mention that I am just doing one day at a time???  
Cause I am.
Thank goodness it works.

Ack, ack, and double ack.
Don't ask me where that word comes from.  I have no idea.  I make them up as I go along.
But when the world seems to tip on its axis, ack comes to mind.  Along with a couple of other words that do not seem appropriate here.

Sydney says:   It's like sometimes you just don't fit in your own box.

Yeah, I get that.

 If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. – Mary Engelbreit

It is so hot in the northeast, they have actually issued a heat warning, so my granddaughters, who came overnight for a riding lesson today, won't be doing that today.   Their teacher cancelled, this high heat and humidity is not kind to her horses, even if the kids would go for it.


They were about as digusted as Sydney.

My poor grandson has been up all night after a bad reaction to anesthesia for a simple wisdom tooth removal, and my daughter has been frantic.  No one likes to see their child sick.

My mother is fading before my eyes, and from one day to the next looks sicker and more frail.
This, of course, has everyone depressed and dealing with impending loss.

Everytime I think I make an impromptu plan, I realize that I can't just "leave". 
Ack, ack, ack.

And when the h.e.l.l. did my hair get so white?????  
Mother of God.

 

Ack.

Deep breath.
Close eyes.
Another deep breath.

It's time to take a look at what I can do.   A quick run to Walgreen's to see if they have swim goggles, and if that doesn't work, maybe a finagled quick trip to Target.
Wait.  I'll call K Mart, it's on the way to the studio.


Time to go through my summer clothes.  It's mid July, chances are if I haven't worn it yet, I won't.  Chuck it.
When winter comes, the same routine will happen again.

I still have strips to be sewn.  There is still a warp on the loom.
The refrigerator needs to be cleaned.
I have a book from the library.  A good one.

The girls want to renew their kumihimo skills, if we can find their kumi looms.

There are things to do, life to be lived.  Things to be grateful for, and more positive than negative.


Whatever is annoying, I tell myself, "get over it".
Life goes on.

Changes

Settling into a new schedule is difficult enough without this oppressive heat. 
Next doesn't care for it any more than I do.

When I got to the studio this morning, L had a surprise for me, in preparation for the warp we needed to put on the Toika.

A PORTABLE AC, to keep us from melting while we worked.

Since I had only a few available hours, and she had things to do, we got right to work on it.

 

It's a good feeling to have it done.  Now we have to thread it, for rugs 7 ft wide, and probably 10 ft long.  Walking on Sunshine rugs.

Then I went home.  I am modifying what I do in a day, so my mother isn't alone.
Roy likes me to go  outside with him.  Crazy dog, he doesn't like to be out there by himself.
And he sleeps in the "blazing sun".

 

My mother is getting a lot of company.  Roy thinks they all come to see him.

 

 He is an equal opportunity love giver though, he spreads it around.

 And then he gets exhausted with it all.

I am somewhat exhausted, too.  I am doing more things at home than usual.
Sewing strips for rag rugs, for one thing.  Finding closets and drawers that need cleaning.

 I am actually surprised at how calm I am about this change in my life.
It seems nonproductive to get upset about it.

 I am a regular at the library, keeping myself in good books to read.  I have my loom at home warped for tencel scarves in 8 harness shadow weave.
I got my lounge chair set up by the pool.

This too shall pass.
I will work at the studio when I can, and not worry about the small stuff.   I have always said that you should do the work right in front you.

Then while I was cleaning out some shelves, I found an old children's book, and sat down to read it.
Somehow, it spoke to me of what's going on here right now, with my mother at the end of her life..

“Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'

'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit.

'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.'

'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?'

'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”

It is still a beautiful world.