Just quiet.

Looking back, the last year has been tough in so many ways. Most of our family's problems have been health related, from headaches to broken bones, and worse.

Sometimes, responsibilities weigh heavy.

Sometimes, you just look for some serenity, wherever you can find it.

Is it here?  In the mountains, by the water?

Or can I find it somewhere else?

Is it in inside me somewhere, hiding?
I don't know.

I only know that my yearning to reconnect with myself is like a song in my head, a tune that keeps playing.
And playing.

Surprise.

I decided that I was going to make 20-22 of these new spring rugs......basically weave the 50 yards off the loom.

The warp is off white, and I love the way they look when they are done.  They are fun to weave, too, headache or no headache.

I was pretty productive today, finished 5, and tied all the fringe.

We do actually have a game plan at Crazy as a Loom.  Right now L is working on a 3 rug/runner order.
I am making container rugs........and when we are both freed up, we are going to make a 5x7 bright rug to finish off the warp on the Toika.
THEN, we are putting a warp on the Cranbrook for some double binding rugs, wait until you see these rugs....they are going to be awesome.
THEN, a bright white placemat warp, using some of that BLUE and WHITE fabric that I've  been playing with in these rugs, you know...........like these dishes......

In between all this, we have kits to be made, Sweet Bottoms to be woven, Chunky rugs, etc.

I can't even think about how this headache has stolen TIME from me.
It would just make me feel bad.
Luckily, for me, I have this Nazi in my head.  Seriously.
She is brutal.  She rarely lets me rest, she freaks out if I start feeling sorry for myself.  She
constantly pumps me up, keeps me positive.
If I start bitching about what is wrong, what makes me feel bad, she starts right in with the LIST.
The list of ALL that I have, and ALL that I am grateful for.
She's on my side, really.
It's just her way.


Weaving these rugs, is on my list of things I am so thankful for.

And then there's today....the only day I can really do.
Today.
It's mine, and I can handle it.
Not sure about tomorrow, but I can do today.

And who knows, it might be as good as today.
Or even better.

And Hallelujah.

Every day I try to act "normal", whatever  that might be.

I try to act "as if" I do not have a headache.

Some days it works, some days, not so much.

When it works, I am busy making bright, spring rugs.  

Happy rugs.

Container rugs.  That's what I call them.

Today I had another diagnostic injection, this time in my right thoracic area.
It wasn't that bad.

I did, however, express my not very happy self.    For weeks, it seems like I have been hustled in, tortured, and shooed out.
I never get to SEE the doctor, because I am face down, with my bare back/neck awaiting his sharpened needles, when he appears.

I admit to being worn down, discouraged, confused, and generally disgruntled.
Very nicely, I indicated that I need a little attention, you know, BEDSIDE MANNER.
They teach it, or not, in med school.
Nurses, old or otherwise, make for lousy patients.  They know too much.

Surprisingly, I was put in an exam room, and voila!  He appeared.   Concerned, helpful, talkative, reassuring....all the things I needed.
It is true that the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

So after the injection,  I was happy to leave, even with the staggering list of injections ahead.

Can't think about them,  you know the rule.
 Stay in the day.
I'm trying, I really am.

I have made 11 of these rugs, but daughter #2 is the proud owner of two of them.  She saw them on my BLOG.
She LOVED them.

What are Moms for ????  Especially WEAVING Moms.

Tomorrow, I might get 3 or 4 more done, depending on my head.
All things depend on my head.
No wonder it's changed my perspective.

One of these days.......I'm going to blog..........."remember that horrible headache I had for months and months???"

Until then, I'm gonna keep on keeping on.
Amen.

One step back.

Just when I thought my headache was easing into the realm of bearable, I get a migraine, with the aura to boot.

It happened yesterday afternoon, I suddenly realized that I was seeing that jagged light in the corner of my right eye.    I debated......is that what it is?  Really? 

I haven't had one like that for about 10 years.

But after a few moments, it was pretty clear.  That's what it was.

I took some Motrin, and headed for the couch.  It took about 20 minutes to hit, but when it did, I was still not ready.  I had a lousy night.

Unfortunately, it lingered into today, all day.   I kind of feel like I just got drop kicked back to where I started.

I managed to get this rug started.

But this headache sucks the life right out of me.
I think of all the things I could/should be doing, but I don't really care about any of them.

I know it's not "me" talking.  But it doesn't matter.
Pain rules.

L was busy with yet another clasped weft rug.

Me?  I just wanted to head home and look at the backs of my eyelids.   I asked Jinksie, and she told me how it was done.

I just wish I could be as good at it as she is.

Public service message, with a view.

I feel compelled to warn everyone......this is going....no, this IS, a really bad year for ticks.

Kids that play outside need to be checked every night......

Adults that walk in the woods qualify, too.

And pets, always.  Even if you put Frontline or similar products on them.......they still need to be checked.

On our day trip, we went to the Lake George Land Conservany 'Rookery'.

Herons like to nest in 'snags', tall trees over water with no foliage......this place is preserved for them.

We walked quite a ways to find it, and we I wanted to give up...... and then we were there.

We all stood in absolute quiet, in awe.

And the herons, well, they just watched us, to see.  Friend or foe.

 My camera click even sounded too loud.

In all the craziness that goes on in this world, the busyness, the worry...........here it is all about starting a family in the tops of these trees.

Living life as it comes.  One minute at a time.

Uncomplicated.
Doesn't that sound sweet?

They give new meaning to " high rise".

We could only stare with wonder at it all.

We didn't stay long, we felt like intruders, who were being tolerated for a look, but not invited to stay.
And we were ok with that.

 My little hikers.

With their walking sticks.

All that hiking makes a body tired.

Loving my zoom lens.

Oh, yeah, after checking the kids for ticks, found out that one had lodged himself into my back.......so even old folks are fair game.  Or maybe it is just that we are 'sweeter' with age.....you know, like cheese, or wine.....which I totally understand now.

Enjoy the view!!!

Day trip. Again.

Yes, I am a slacker, but I felt the need to get away once again, and one of my daughters took the day off since there was no school today.

So we took a little drive through the woods.  There is nothing like the Adirondacks, ya know.


It was a beautiful, sunny day.  A perfect day to be outside.

At one point, my 11 year old grandson said, "Wait, listen...................it's so QUIET".

Yes, yes it is.

A sweet breeze was blowing.

Yup, my hair is getting whiter and whiter.  

Just think of the time I've saved since I stopped dyeing my hair.

And the money.

And apparently I am loved anyway.  Ava doesn't seem to care.  In fact, not one person that is important to me, cares about the color of my hair, or in this case, the lack of color.  

Marvelous.

We wrote down 5 ponds on a piece of paper, and checked out all five.  Then at the end of the day, everyone voted for their favorite.

This one was the winner.

By sheer virtue of its solitude.
And its accessibility.

And there are loons here.

Enough said.

We had fun, and I didn't think about work or responsibilities or worries for one minute.
I didn't give my headache much space either.

Next time I go here, I think I will bring my lunch, and a book......and my kayak.

There is a simple tranquility about being outside, and especially so here, away from everything.

I'm so glad we came.