Crazy as a Loom

Wednesday, July 11, 2018


About 4 days ago, after 5-6 weeks of a slammer, my head finally dialed down a couple of notches.  I continue to be mind boggled, never really knowing the reason.

Don't get me wrong.   I'm grateful......when you have a 10+ for that long.....a 7-8 is pure heaven on earth.
It's all about perspective.

I had this crazy idea that I wanted to use all the old windows that we took off this house, to enclose the chicken run.

The chickens really only go in the coop at night.....and in the winter when there is snow on the ground, they spend most of their time in here.
But every year we put plastic on the outside of it, and then tear it off half rotted in the spring. permanent solar room for the girls.

Unfortunately, my carpenter wanted to frame the windows in and do it "proper".

I said, "I don't want it PROPER.  I want it FUNKY."

DH overheard me....and decided that it was going to be his summer project.  All I had to do was help him to get the windows out of the barn loft.

The stairs are almost vertical.  It's a two person job.

He told me that this was a perfect project for him, since he wasn't much of a carpenter.

I concurred.

He is filling in all the spaces with leftover wood we have.

The windows on the north and south ends are hinged, so they can be opened in the summer time.

I have done a lot of thinking about what I do, and the headache.   Well meaning advice is to stop weaving.  Stop moving, stop doing whatever might possibly be the reason.

Truth is.....I think anything and everything I do is the reason.   My neck does not turn from side to side.   My chin does not tilt in to put a fork in my mouth.......C1, 2, and 3 are fused....maybe even 4....not sure.

Because of that, all the vertebrae below that are affected.....they bear the brunt, so to speak.  They will wear out faster, disintegrate faster, fail quicker.

The muscles in my neck and back are also compromised, trying to adjust to a C spine that no longer has the natural curve than it had before fusion.

So there is really NOTHING that does not cause my neck stress.  Nothing.

Then there's this other issue, that I keep coming back to.

If you don't love your life, if you don't love what you do, and do what you love, then what is the point?
Really, what is the point??

I have adjusted my life greatly.....I don't do nearly what I used to do.  And there are some things, that I know are evil.........and cause immediate regret.

But weaving, no.   Weaving makes my heart sing.
And when my neck begins to complain, I stop.

But to give it up?  Entirely?

Never.    Just never.

I might as well "take that bridge".

Love what you do.   Do what you love.

It's that simple.

I'll have tough weeks......then I won't.   I'll forget them, until they come back.

I'll persist, until I can't.

Because as someone said, you can't really change who you are.

If you could, well, life wouldn't hardly be worth it, would it?


Lydia La La said...

Hilary, you have my utmost respect. Your attitude, your work ethics, your Hen Hilton! Your love of animals. Take care and gather in the love we all send to you. xx

DJan said...

I am also in admiration for your fortitude. I was hoping that something could be done, that the doctors would find a way. It seems like your attitude is the only thing that can be adjusted, and you're doing a great job of that. Please accept my respect for all that you do to carry on. And don't forget those lovely babies that I've fallen in love with. Sending you my prayers as well.

thecrazysheeplady said...

Love the window project!

I've been wearing one of those pump up neck braces when I'm doing something like sitting at the computer for any length of time. Not that it's a cure, but maybe a support that might take some pressure off?

KAM said...

Love what you do, do what you love...simple..always listening to the body, to the world walk the life that you find is doing what you love and living...the window house is marvelous! I want one.


Still Learning said...

Well said, you! I cut my hand yesterday and can't spin.Sigh. Nothing like your situation. I admire your spirit. Keep on keeping on!

C Reeder PhxAz said...

Well spoken and very true. Love the recycling of windows.

Karen said...

Well, as the person who suggested you stop weaving... I have to say it one more time, not FOREVER, but stopping a known stressor like that activity for a *Period Of Time*... does help reduce inflammation that the activity causes.

I hear you, though, regarding just wanting to do what you enjoy most, regardless, and you understand better than I, the injury/issue you live with.

I'm so glad you're getting some relief. Perhaps it's because you did slow down the weaving for just a little while before deciding nope, not doing it? You can't slap me from over there... LOL...


Peg Cherre said...

Your perspective, your approach to life in general and yours in specific, is right one. Thanks, Hilary!

Daryl said...

i agree. along the way to understanding how to enjoy life while dealing with aches pains etc we must allow ourselves a quality of life check .. w/o enjoying what we do, whats the point. since my husband's CKD morphed into 3X a week dialysis we've both learned that somethings which are not 'good' for us still should be enjoyed indulged but in moderation ... its a lot nicer life when you dont feel like a slave to what ails you

Connie said...

I just found your blog and I am totally charmed by it. I am also an older woman that refuses to grow up, I do not want my childhood imagination and dreams to even have a chance to grow up. I am retired and live with my sweet husband of 42 years. We have a small one acre piece of land that we call our farm, even though a dog is our only animal. We raise a big garden and live simply . . . enjoying each beautiful day.
I'm delighted to have found your blog and hope that you will visit mine as well. One of the things that brought me here is your weaving. Lately I have had a craving to try it. Nothing to the extremes of your ability . . . that takes years to learn, but something simple to try that stretches my creativity.
Happy to meet you!
Your newest follower,
Connie :)

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