I guess I had forgotten how healing it has been writing this blog over the last16 years.
This lamp is one of my favorites, and I remember clearly the day I bought it at a garage sale in Wells, Me., on one of our trips. My husband and I went to Maine every May and October. Good memories.
On my list of things to do, was repotting some of my house plants. This Oxalis was pretty root bound, and needed a new home. It was so uncooperative, and I dumped it upside down on my potting table. Luckily, it forgave me pretty quickly, and I think it's going to thrive.
Last year I had my screen porch "rehabbed", unfortunately the screen was not put
on very well, and is coming off. So this year, I have to put new screen on it.......again. Annoying,
to say the least. But the dogs and I spend so much time out there, that I have to
bite the bullet and get it done.
It's the best place to relax with a good book.
I bought a rug on sale at Lowe's, to spruce it up.
We love our porch.
Dale rocking her short hair cut! She loves it, and so do I. I love the confidence in
someone so young. Even though all the other girls have long hair, she was
quite certain about what she wanted.
And they love him!
Got my new labels in the mail. I mostly use them on towels. I get them from Quality Woven Labels. They do such a great job.
On another one of our trips, I came across Tajin.......a spicy concoction
that you can put on fresh fruit.
It's very addictive.
You all have the option of hitting the x on the top of the page, but my friends not so much.
The crux of it is this: I feel like I have experienced a concerted assault on my person for the last year, physically, with 2 ablations, 2 cardioversions, 2 months of a horrible medication, Covid, and then 2 root canals 3 weeks apart, plus recurring hip pain. Then, of course, emotional and mental pain after losing my husband, who was my best friend. Some days I think I should be very depressed, and I'm surprised that I am not.
So I've been in Normal Sinus Rhythm since October, and I am feeling physically much better, getting over all the nasty side effects from the medications I had to take. The effects of Covid still bother me, for instance, my headaches are worse since Christmas when I had Covid, and I still am fatigued a lot of the time.
I have started seeing my Osteopathic Doc again, for Osteopathic Manipulative Treatments, which are nothing like they sound. He did wonders for my headaches years ago, so I am hoping that he can help again.
What I want more than anything is to feel like myself, and to be honest, I don't. I haven't felt like myself for the last year.
I suppose that is to be expected.
Truth is, there is no preparation for losing someone, which is awful really, when it's an inevitable part of life, and particularly a part of aging.
Once again, I realize that 'one day at a time' is the only way to get through any of this.
This morningI got up at 5;30, made some tea, and got on the couch with my dogs. I promptly dozed off
to the sounds of rain on the windows. Is there anything more soothing???
I needed that extra half hour of sleep, and these days I am kinder to me, and I let it happen.
I go with the flow, so to speak. I weave when I want to weave, read when I want to read, rest when my body says it's time. In other times, I would have ignored my body, and pushed on to make more "product". Not today.
Today, and finally, I do what feels perfect in the moment.
Maybe it took a year of being in "the bucket", to realize the importance of taking care of me.
9 comments:
you've worked so hard and diligently your entire life! Yes, a thousand times yes.... take care of you. Every.single.day. DO everything and nothing, whatever inspires you in the moment.
The screen - that sucks! The person who installed should make it right - but maybe they're not good with screen work and you'll get more of the same? LOVE your porch, and porch sitting in general. I just overhauled our screen porch out back that looks over the gardens and fields with new cushions and it feels like a fresh start for the warmer seasons.
I'm glad you're getting the hang of taking care of yourself instead of powering through. There's a time for both, and you're wise to know which one is right for you now.
Hello and thank you for writing. I wanted you to know that I'm happy to be reading your blog again and I truly hope that every day can be a day in which you find some sort of contentment. I have not experienced loss like you have, but I have experienced my own health situation this past year (I'm not yet at the one year anniversary) and I understand what you mean about just wanting to feel like your old self, but these things change us and tilt our world a bit and so, even though I don't love the expression, we adapt to a "new normal" because we have to. Your porch looks like the perfect place to be and I hope that screen gets repaired so you can enjoy it all summer long. -Jenn
That's so frustrating about the screen. Your porch is truly a haven so you need your screen to not be falling down, for sure. I hope you can get it fixed decently soon.
I haven't felt like myself for going on two years because of cancer treatments. I am miraculously cancer free now but because of everything I am still far from well or feeling like myself so I know what you mean. I could be depressed, too, through all of this but I haven't been. Just tired and weak...and too familiar with pain--lol! Taking it one day at a time and learning that it is okay to just be and not do all the time.
Seeing the little ones...priceless. :)
It's always great to see "Crazy as a Loom" come up on my feed! Everything you have done to help yourself feel better if pleasant to read about. Your love for your daughters, your grand children, your friends, your home and your hobbies is palpable. Reading what you write about it is such a pleasure. Take care, my friend.
Ditto to what everyone has said. I am so sorry to hear about all your health problems as well as your husband's passing. I know I am missing my husband and can relate to you in this.
I am so glad you are back you are such an inspiration! Take care of yourself! And take the time to enjoy the things that you enjoy!
Like the previous messages, I am sorry for your loss and health issues.
I look forward to your posts and enjoy the kid's and dog's escapades. I am your age and still miss my husband 13 years after his passing and 37 years of marriage.
Your attitude is inspiring, your weaving is beautiful and the porch looks like a wonderful place to take in the wonders around you.
Like Simone said, you are inspiring. I always look forward to "hearing" from you. I wish continued better health for you.
What a lovely post. I can feel so much in your words. You have had a tough year but as evidenced by the pictures there is a lot of joy in your life. Still here enjoying your visits.
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