A quiet house. A cuppa tea. Roy looking out the window. Just the tapping of my fingers on the keys.
Sometimes I find myself longing for moments like this to just go on for a while longer.
Just to have the opportunity to have a day uninterrupted. No chatter. No questions. No direction in particular.
Nothing I have to do, and nowhere I have to be, and not one person wanting even one thing from me.
I could do anything I wanted to do, or nothing at all.
Take a nap.
Bake some muffins. Weave a while.
Google a hundred things.
Scan through old Handwoven mags for inspiration.
Snuggle with my Roy boy on the couch.
Stay in my pajamas.
If you have a quiet house, then you don't miss it. In fact, you probably don't even realize what joy you possess. You have grown accustomed. You take it for granted.
But if you don't have it, you miss it terribly. When you get a snippet of solitude, you long for more.
You're painfully aware of what's lacking in your life.
As a kid, I was always comfortable with being alone.
Solitude never bothered me. I was always capable, and happy, entertaining myself.
Some people get nervous with that. They are uncomfortable around you, like maybe there is something inherently 'wrong' with you.
But I think that I figured something out when I was very young, that has stood me in good stead, so to speak, something that is often learned much later, down a rocky road.
I am grateful that solitude feels so good.
And as I get older, I find myself looking back longingly at the times I spent hiking in the woods. I grew up doing it, in fact most days were spent climbing up and down the mountain behind my house.
The Adirondacks were a source of incredible solitude, always a sweet feeling of home.
So while I can't buy my dream cabin on a pond in the wilderness, I can enjoy the forests and the ponds that belong to the great State of New York.
And who really owns anything anyway....in the end?
So solitude, listen up. I'm coming to find you.
We're gonna have a great summer.
And the winner is:
I've been reading your blog for a while and now it's bookmarked so I don't miss an entry. One of these days I'll learn how to be a real entity in the bog world and not just anonymous . . . I'm not a weaver (alas), am a huge cat lover all my life. But as I read the comments here I thought, what makes your blog special is YOU--you being you, and your honesty. That spicy, determined, gifted, wise and seasoned woman who is you. So just keep sharing from your heart and soul. Can't get better than that. And of course we're all rooting for HH to leave for good. So very sorry for your suffering. Sending all good thoughts for healing and health your way, hoping acupuncture may be the solution.
YAY, Becky.......email me some info, so I can send your Anywhere Mat to you post haste. And thank you for the lovely comments. You are too sweet.