Some days in the winter, just having the sun shine is enough. Today was one of those days.
I was going to stay on the couch all day, and nurse my cold, or whatever it is.
But that only lasted about an hour. Then I decided that sitting around wrapped in a blanket, thinking about how bad I feel, is not going to make anything better.
So I took a shower, and got moving.
The sun was shining, and that always makes the studio a cheerier place, and that was where I wanted to be.
I got thinking today about how much time we spend worrying about our looks.
It probably started when I looked in the mirror on the way to Kingsbury. My new glasses get too dark, so I look like Roy Orbison, and my hair, freshly colored to cover up the gray, was sticking up all over. My nose was red from too much contact with tissues, and overall, I looked like hell.
I was getting quite gray when I gave in to my daughters, and colored my hair. I have to admit, the color looks good. It just doesn't go with my 62 year old face. Aren't people my age supposed to have gray? And then there's the cost. Yikes. I have trouble justifying something so pricey, for vanity's sake.
Then it occurred to me. that I never see myself, unless I purposely look in the mirror. My husband looks at me more than anyone, and he is always telling me how beautiful I am. Poor man. I told him he should change his name to Mr. Magoo. And my granddaughters think I am wonderful, and they don't really care how I look. I SMELL good!
So why all the worry about how I look? Why do I do this to myself?
I do think that I need to lose 20 lbs. But that isn't vanity. That is about feeling good, and being healthy. That is positive energy.
I want to embrace this age, this time, in my life. I want to let go of all that angst connected with clothes, makeup, hair. It usually doesn't bother me, but every once in a while, those old demons raise their heads. I am bombarded online, in magazines, on television, everywhere......with the
message that we all hear.....that we can be beautiful if only we do this, or this, or this.
And most of us, in our hearts, know that it is not true. But we buy into it anyway.
As women, we are hoodwinked, and I am tired of it.
There, I got that off my chest.
I am still sick, but I feel better.
Today I finished "reweaving" this rug. I used almost evey bit of fabric that was in the old one. It turned out to be 27"x62". First I washed the old rug, carefully; then I gently took it apart, and wove it again on a poly cotton warp. It should last a very long time. It still has that primitive appeal to me. I have a pile of them, and I will be trying to get them all done, but not all at once. They take too much time.
This rug is for sale on my web site, and I will also offer to reweave other people's old rugs. I hate to see them thrown out, just because they are worn.
It kind of reminds me of my first subject. They just need a little attention...they are old, but still charming......they don't need dye, or new fabric, they don't need complete change, they just need a "little" help.