HARD.
Sigh.
I knew it was coming. I didn't even have to listen to the weather. I could just watch the frenzy at the bird feeders to know that we were going to get WHACKED again.
And here it comes.
I'm telling ya', he is.
I left the studio a bit early today. I just wanted to settle in for the night. I was cold, tired of being cold, and knew the roads would just get worse as the day progressed.
For five years I have worked HARD at Crazy as a Loom. I wanted to be successful. I wanted to be taken seriously, and I wanted to make money. I wanted it to be a sound business venture.
Here we are......year over........deed done.
Got all that I wanted, and more.
And now, I am wondering...........why?
I have worked 6-7 (mostly 7) days a week, for the last 5 years. Yes, CAAL is a success........a resounding success.
But I find myself asking.......is that it? Is that what you really wanted? Is this what you are going to continue to do, for the sake of success? And I might add, success in the eyes of the world, maybe not so much in your own estimation.
So what now?
I printed off the list of what I sold to be successful in 2010. So tonight, I am going over that list, to see what it says to me.
I may have made X number of dollars making an ABC rug.........but maybe I don't LIKE ABC rugs.
I know what I made doing custom orders..........50 of them, to be exact.
But they were NOT always enjoyable, in fact, some of them were downright painful. It is difficult making things that you do not like.
And while there are customers who are wicked easy to work with, there are also those who are definitely not.
So I am looking at the list, to see what I would like to eliminate from it. And what I would like to stay.
It's up to me to decide what works, what doesn't. And if it isn't money/sales that I am after, then what is it?
The big question: do I want to be a production weaver? And if not, then what?
We have too many choices, it seems. Too much opportunity. Life can be made very complicated, and I am not at all sure that I want that. I think I want SIMPLE. How do I simplify what I have created my self????
It's so easy being a cat, isn't it? A house cat, that is. Finding a sunny spot to lie in, food always available, and grass grown just for me. Toys to play with, looking gorgeous without trying.
Ah, the life.
Maybe it's just winter....too much, too long, too cold.
Maybe I just need a shot of something.
Maybe sunshine.
12 comments:
I understand examining what you have built for yourself, at times I envy you, and at times not so much.
I love your studio, maybe there are other things that your studio can provide for you and support you.
I know you do workshops, maybe other people with crafts could do retreats, knitting, spinning, sewing while using your beautiful studio.
That type of thing isn't for everyone, but I'm just throwing it out there. I just came back from a sewing group, as a guest, the project was felted wool mittens, it was fun and a lot of commerardary that was good for my soul this winter.
Nothing wrong with taking stock of your life and see what needs adjusting if anything.
I love your blog and hope you continue.
It is sometimes difficult to make changes. I built up a very successful income tax business, but my clients did not want an employee to help them, they wanted me to do their return, and they also wanted to refer their family and friends. There are only so many hours in a day, I found myself looking at my client list to see who I could "fire"(difficult clients). Could I only do some of these returns and still make a profit? Then I was forced to move out of the building I was renting because it was sold, the only thing I could find to rent was twice the rent, so I had to do more returns to make the same profit. I sold the business after only 3 years at the new location. I am back working at home doing taxes only for close friends and family. People thought I was crazy, they didn't understand that I was not happy.
Good Luck with whatever you decide.
And yes, a dose of sunshine will help.
A good dose of sunshine cures a good many things.
Listening to Harvest Moon on your playlist and wondering "did Neil Young have the same questions?" re balancing success ~ life ~ don't we all? I think we all have balance issues. Interesting to read your thoughts on the process.
First of all, I think you have the winter blahs and need a big dose of happy and sunshine. Vitamin D will help till you figure out the other two. :)
Sometimes its easier to work out what you do want buy understanding what you don't like first. It also means you must 'know thyself' inside and out and I reckon you have that sewn up. What is it that you are doing now that you have difficulty with? What parts give you joy?
I think all serious weavers must decide how they will handle their efforts as it can get carried away. I knew that I get bored easily and so yardage or the same thing over and over would kill the joy of my weaving. So I decided to weave what I like, with occasional customer orders and specialty projects and focus on the process rather than quantity. What helps is I'm not weaving for an income so I have choices others may not enjoy.
The reevaluation is constant and ongoing, especially with a chronic back problems. I must try to work out how to keep weaving in my life and achieve a balance.
Susan
Four days on Sanibel, shelling. Let's go.
*sigh*
I have faith that you will figure out what it is that makes you happiest.
I think, like the others, that a shot of sunshine will help immensely
I often reflect upon the meaning of "Success" more often than the meaning of life. It seems everything in life has some price. Doing what you love is great as long as doing it dosent kill the joy of it. Ive often wished I could be as happy and content as my cats.
*sigh*
LiBBy BuTTons
Are any of your daughters interested in weaving? Do you need a partner? I like the idea of bringing in other crafters if you have the room for it. You'll figure it out... you are a thinker and a doer. BUT, have fun along the way.
Di
Sunshine and Palm trees the answer to all yur problems.
Can you escape for some sunshine? It may even help to clarify your thoughts.
So happy for your success. And I love my rugs.
I just put a new warp on my loom and you were on my mind. I was thinking how would I like to do this everyday. I think daily it would be physically challanging. Maybe kind of lonely? Can you keep it up at the pace you have been going?
Take the advice of your sign. Do what you love. Not what others want you to do. Don't do custom orders. Do what YOU love and sell it - the buyers will come. Tell those that want it this way or that, no, I sell what I make, I don't make custom orders.
I am very much that way - I love doing what I want to do. When I HAVE to make something, I somehow resent it. It's not as fun. When I can make something and change it cuz that's what's working for me, it's way more fun!
Yes, sunshine helps. But you have to find what makes YOU happy.....
Hang in there. Spring is coming.....
(((HUGS))) cuz everyone needs one now and then.
Martha
Post a Comment