It never fails to amaze me how life whizzes past. One day folds into the next and the next, and sometimes I wish I could grab hold of it and slow. it. down.
There are so many aspects of my life that pull me one way, then the other.
As much as I've dreamed of going to Maine for a couple of weeks this summer, it's just not going to happen. My mother has been in the hospital three times now in the last five weeks.
It's just what happens, when you are nearing 90, and your body starts breaking down.
I wonder sometimes, what she would be like if she had changed her diet 20 years ago after she had a cardiac bypass, and if she had put a walking schedule into her life.
Ah, but that's history. She didn't change anything. She figured they "fixed" her, and she could just do what she wanted. She became sedentary. There's no other word.
She's also addicted to television. Has been long before she was old. Movies in particular. Some movies she watches over and over again. So sedentary works for that.
Unfortunately, sedentary doesn't do much for arthritis. And as many times as I've told her that activity DOES make the pain lessen, after you've worked through it, she won't.
I'm not like her. Not in that way anyway. My father's genes are firmly planted in my lifestyle. I am always on the move. It's not a bad thing. I am getting older, but old age will have to chase me down.
That's the way it is.
I have 9 rugs done towards my goal of 50, but it doesn't seem like work to me at all. In fact, I'm having a lot of fun with it.
I just try to get a little done each day. It centers me, and keeps me focused.
In between the craziness, I savor moments of serenity; with my knitting, reading a great book, walking my Roy boy, just driving in the car listening to Renaissance guitar.
I AM being better to myself, even in a difficult situation.
I give myself slack that I never did before. I tell myself it's ok, when in the past, I would have gotten the whip out.
It's all brand new.
And this too shall pass.