Crazy as a Loom

Saturday, December 1, 2012

For crying out loud

Sitting on the couch, looking out at the FIRST SNOW of the year.
I don't care really.  I only care about this headache.
Gah, I so wished I was going to get to stop talking about it.  Some days I try to go all around it.
And some days, that's possible.  And God knows, I am grateful for those days.
But then there's today.
Went to bed with a pretty intense level of pain, woke up at 4am, with a smasher.  I like to call it that, because it reminds me of 'smashing' potatoes with any of the kitchen instruments I have in my twirly Lazy Susan keeper of instruments.  Like someone or something has been inside my head with that.

At any rate, I couldn't go back to sleep, so I came downstairs, took Motrin on an empty stomach, only because who eats at 4am?  Not I.
Faithful Roy snuggled on the couch with me, and I dozed off finally.  I had hopes of waking up with much less of a headache, but that didn't really happen.
So now I am drinking tea, talking to you, trying to be patient.
I ask myself some crazy questions........like could it be the weather????   Because I was pretty ok yesterday, with the headache just a faint hum. 
But I went for a massage at 3pm, and when I left......whether it was the weather or something instigated by the massage, even though it was fairly gentle........my headache was all stirred up and angry.
Let me just tell you......I dream of the day that I can say......through tears, I know..............I DON'T HAVE A HEADACHE TODAY.

But still, I am only relating.....please know that sometimes I just need to get it out there.   I am not looking for sympathy, I am still very grateful for what I do have.
I just get a little tired, and worn down with it.

Last night, DH told me of someone we know quite well, a really lovely lady, who went to the doctor with a pain in her stomach, and now has a diagnosis of pancreatic and liver cancer, and maybe 6 months.  I couldn't stop thinking about her.  And about how tenuous our lives are, every minute of every day.

I haven't been weaving rugs since my surgery....too much shoulder work, and thus, neck tension.
But I do tie fringes on them, when Tammy and Lois get a stack done.
I am fast, and I think that nominates me sometimes for "official fringe person."


The other day, Ava went for a walk with Roy and I, and she went ahead with him, and did a little running.
Roy was in heaven.   You can tell by his 'flat back ears'.
I loved watching him gallop.


I don't think I would mind winter so much, if the skies were so eternally gray.
Give me snow and cold, with a lot of sun.  It makes it so much nicer.
If ever I find that cold, stormy weather makes my head ache, it may be time to leave the northeast.
Just sayin.

13 comments:

Denise at Autumn Sky said...

Pink boots and a dog running by her side. Pictures like that make me smile.

Go away, headache, go away!!!

Susan said...

I can't relate to the constant headache, but this week, with all I have to do, my hubby brought home a stomach virus from a family wedding he attended. So, I'm Grumpy! Life isn't fair, but when I see that precious little girl with her pink boots and a happy dog, there are some good things to smile about. BTW, I hate grey, snowy weather too and did move from the Northeast; still have the grey in Seattle, but rarely snow. Be kind to yourself, XOXO

Diane Cayton-Hakey said...

Yesterday evening we headed out for our walking of the pups and met up with a neighbor walking their dog, Kasey, who is Rowdy and Izzy's best friend. She too was galloping a bit and from behind she looked humorous and made me giggle. It's the little things that bring us joy as you well know too. :-)) Hail Motrin!! Praise Motrin!!

Diane Cayton-Hakey said...

Oh, and changes in weather can give me a rip roaring headache too.

Loomatic said...

I love that no matter how bad your headache is, you still can post such fun and happy photos.

May your headache go away :-)

Hilary said...

Love the photos of two friends running. SO sweet.


Time to follow up on that email to doc, perhaps? I want you to stop hurting. Now! That's an order. OK so I'm not good at giving orders but I hurt for you and I want this stupid headache to be banished.

rosek1870 said...

Hang in there and I think we all know that you need to vent here. We all have things we need to vent about in a place where no one judges and I think this blog is just that. I hope your headache eases soon, and am keeping you in my prayers.
Hugs
Rose

karen said...

My heart goes out to you. It's good to let it out, I don't believe there is a person here that minds. My sister has had a pain in her side for a month or so and when it gets bad, it's bad but they can find nothing that could be causing it. I know that when she has a good day she is still anxious that it comes back as I'm sure you are. God Bless and heal you both.

michelle said...

Your blog your vent. Always glad to listen and read. What does the doctor say about the post surgery headaches - let me guess it involves the word "patience"? Somehow patience with pain is not an easy thing. I hope tomorrow is better for you.

Cupcake Murphy said...

For some reason Roy looks EXACTLY like Ethel Merman to me in that photo. Such OOMPH. Cooper wanted me to tell you he is ready to go to battle with your headache. xoxo

DJan said...

After all you have been through, it's not abnormal to expect a headache-free existence. I'm so sorry it's not there... yet. I think you need to see that doctor again, but that's just me wanting you to be well. :-(

Rita said...

When pain gets to a certain level it takes over your consciousness and makes it hard to focus on anything for any length of time. I hope this passes. Actually, I pray that your headaches go away altogether. *hugs*

claudia w said...

My hope is that the headache will give you some peace before long. I think it is to be expected that you are not going to heal fast and there will be hard days, that doesn't make it any easier! But... scenes liek the one you showed us with Ava and Roy, well, that just begs for a smile!

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