I have made resolutions before........and they sounded SO damn good. I loved them.
I didn't follow through with all of them, but they were impressive, thoughtfully done, I decided.
Each one of them deserving of my immediate and total attention.
This year, I have ONE resolution.
You KNOW what it is........it is so simple it is scary.
I resolve to LOSE this headache.
That's it. Nothing more.
But I have to tell you, it's not all bad. It seems like it, but it's not.
Going on 11 weeks, I have found that pain can not only wear you down, distract you, and interrupt your life, but it also changes your perspective. A lot.
Every day is a complete sentence. I have to live each one by itself. I have no time, or energy, to anguish about yesterday, or fret about tomorrow.
Pain does that. Pain makes TODAY the only day that matters. It asks questions that only today can answer.
How bad is this pain going to be?
Can I stand it?
Can I get anything done at all?
Can I love my life even with this knife in my head?
Sorry. But it's true.
So this headache has GIVEN me one thing that I have tried for many years to attain.
Yup. It has.
It has given me the gift of STAYING IN THIS DAY. EVERY DAY.
Believe it or not, it makes it easier. It does.
While in the Salvation Army with my mother this morning, my mind wandered.......I admit it.
I was doodling on the program.........and came up with three things I don't need to RESOLVE to do, but three things I WANT to do.
1. I (we, this means YOU DH) want to downsize my house.
This means getting rid of CRAP. You now what I mean. Clothes, books, papers, and a whole bunch of other minutiae that clutters our living space, and our lives.......it has to go.
2. I want to do more meaningful stuff......volunteer, donate, for something that matters.
3. I want to pursue happiness with a vengeance.
That's it. What I want to do. Period. Not what I should do. Not what I need to do. Not what someone else thinks I need to do.
Who said getting older was a bad thing?
Last year the snow filled my porch, like a wind tunnel.
This year, it won't.
I found these great reusable tarps at tarpsplus.com
They let the light through, and they were reasonable.
We didn't totally enclose the porch, but two 10'x10', and one 10' x 20' will keep most of the snow off the porch.
Thanks Claire and Lois, for the help. You did a great job.
Yesterday, though the world was hazy through one of the worst days I have had in a long time, I went to Manchester, Vt, with a friend. We went to lunch at Gringo Jacks......they have the best tortilla chips anywhere. You can even order them, and the salsa.
Then we went to the Northshire Book Store, my fave. Except that yesterday, I didn't like it much....it was mobbed, and crazy. I wasn't into crazy.
We did, however, go to a place called Zippy Chicks a consignment shop next to Gringo Jacks.
It was awesome, and I found two things for myself, a red knit hoodie, a long wool sweater/jacket and a short jacket for my mother that I knew she would love. All for $42.
Everything looked brand new.........I will definitely be going back there.
That's it for Day One of Twenty Twelve. I am thinking positive, good thoughts, for me, and for you.
Roy .....Roy ........