Crazy as a Loom

Monday, November 14, 2016

My opinion.

Alert:  Photos are some my daughter took of mushrooms in her yard, and I love them.
Plus I have no photos that reflect my subject matter today.

OK, he won the election.   He's going to be the President of this country.
To say that I am appalled doesn't really cover it.
It's truly almost inconceivable to me.
And it's not so much that people didn't want HER.  I kind of understand that.  She did have a lot of baggage.
I really loved Bernie.

My problem lies here:  how did people gloss over, jump over, totally ignore his racism, his hatefulness, his misogyny, his lack of character, to decide that he would make a good president???
Perfectly sane, good people.  Because I believe they are.  They did some kind of mental gymnastics, to make it work.  For their party?  For what?

That's where I'm lost.

I grew up in the 60's, and too well I remember how it was.  How we never want it to be again.

It wasn't even that he was educated, or brilliant, or had a PLAN.
None of the above.

Redeeming qualities?  Rich?  Famous?  Tells it like it is??  REALLY??  If that's how "it is" to those folks who bought it, then I am sorry.  Sorry for their lack of insight.

But here we are, and this is what we have.  I truly believe that  the people that supported him are going to be disappointed, maybe not as disappointed as the rest of us, but disappointed just the same.
I fear for our country, I abhor the violence and the division that is bound to happen.
For all the rhetoric, we AREN'T going to work together, because our core values are so different.

I admit that I got myself in an awful state over this election.   I tried to understand how he could be  acceptable to anyone.
Facebook drove me crazy.  I was sickened and  a little obsessed.   I unfollowed several acquaintances, so I wouldn't have to see their continual onslaught.

Then one day, after the election results were known, I posted an encouraging meme about what we have to do now, to get over it.
A long time friend, and converted Christian right, commented: "Enough already."

So just for curiosity's sake,  I went over to her page, since I unfollowed her some time ago.  I wanted to see if perhaps, she was taking the high road, and not posting political stuff, hence her admonition to me.
But NO, not the case.  She was posting pictures of her 'adorable, deplorable, Trump necklace, plus much more.
OK, I admit it.  I lost it.
I unfriended her immediately.

I then questioned my action, but came up with this.

I never see her.  She drives by my house often, she never stops.
She never calls me.
I've invited her for lunch many times, but she is too busy.

We used to be great friends, many years ago.
Times have changed.  We have changed.  We have lost our connection.
And she thinks it okay to dismiss my pain on my page, while she still gloats over on hers.

So this election has done one thing for me. It has made me very aware that FB is my distraction, when I want it to be, and it's a way of keeping in touch with people who I do have a connection with, who do call me, who do email me, or message me, or in some way are part of my life.
There  are  people on my FB friend list that  I have not actually met, like some of my baby wrap or blogger friends, but we have a connection none the less.
And I have decided that anyone who posts things that I find offensive, is gone.  Period.
It's my choice, and I am not going to be aggravated on a daily basis.  The end.  Differing opinions are fine, as long as they are delivered respectfully.

I know that my life here on earth is limited, more so than ever at my age, and I know also that I can not change any of what is happening globally.

I can only live my best life, be my kindest self, my most generous, and loving self.

And first off, that means loving myself.


Anonymous said...

Hillary, I read every word and understand your viewpoint and back you up.

By the way the mushroom pictures are awesome!

Denise at Autumn Sky said...

I am beyond stunned that people I have known for many many years actually support him, voted for him, think this is absolutely the best thing to happen to our country. Their vote says they don't care about the racism, humiliation of women, etc. etc. They either really don't care or they have chosen to put that in a separate box so they get the GOP back in charge. I unfollowed and unfriended a few on FB. I realize they were the last of the stragglers that I had tolerated for whatever reason. Not anymore. I'm sick of it.

R's Rue said...


Cindie said...

Well said Hillary.

Kathy said...

I'm with you. I've unfollowed several friends & family members in the last week--just couldn't take it any more. FB has been controlling my life, & it's not good for my own wellbeing to be reading & absorbing so much negativity. Several blogs & some FB pages have listed personal things we can do in our own lives--advocate for causes that support inclusion & protection & safety; donate to Planned Parenthood & ACLU, etc.; wear a safety pin to let others know we'll support them--& I'm giving these things serious thought. It's not enough to just talk the talk--there's a need to walk the walk if we want our nation & world to survive & to move away from racism & homophobia & xenophobia & destruction of our environment. I also need to find an effective way to change all my anger at this election & what I've heard & read, into something constructive & healthy & helpful & world-changing--even if it only changes the small world around me.

claudia said...

I am completely with you on the confusion about how people saw that "he" was the better choice. I am afraid for what the future brings for us. I am hoping that all will settle down and perhaps "he" will do something right by our ALREADY great nation.
As far as the FB chatter went for me, I just went there when my email told me something was shared by my family or close friends. I would read that, make my comments and then close it out. In fact the last week before the election I didn't look at FB at all. I saw quite a few friends unfriend others. I went on the day after the election and said something to the effect of All my friends yesterday are still my friends today. A president does not determine who my friends are. But that being said...I am changing my dogs job description to border patrol and there will be better security around my property, I am afraid.
This has all pushed me to get into my quilting more. I find such pleasure there.

Dizzy-Dick said...

I voted for Trump. Now, I suppose you will block me from commenting.

MrsB said...

Read this. I voted for HRC. And also recommend Hillbilly Elegy to understand these rural voters who helped propel this narcissist into office. They're not all racists but poor and discouraged in a way Democrats did not comprehend.

MrsB said...

And the mushrooms pix are terrific.

Loom With A View said...

I will admit, up here in Canada, we sympathized that your choices were 'bad' and 'worse', and your own personal situation determined who you put under each heading. In Quebec, we've been doing that for years!

Essentially, I think the whole election boiled down to 'jobs', and who has a good one and who does not. If he doesn't deliver, I think the blowback will be quick and merciless.

As encouragement, I would like to remind everyone that it is only for (a maximum of) 4 years. Then you all get a chance to vote again.

I can't believe I am writing political commentary on a weaving blog. I am going back to my loom!

LA said...

Well said! Thank you for posting.

deodar said...

I voted for Trump as the lesser of two evils, Mrs. Clinton totally lost any tiny bit of respect or admiration I may have had for her when she let those people at Benghazi die. I can not approve or not agree with Mr. Trump's attitudes but they are just that, attitudes, I cannot dismiss Mrs. Clinton's actions (or lack thereof) and her totally absent remorse for those actions - people DIED! Period. As for Bernie, he was quite lovable, yes, but I do remember my history class and the actions of Stalin (a socialist) and I sure didn't want to go there.
Love the mushroom pics, they look like fine art work!

Angela Tucker said...

Good evening, Hillary. First, I was somewhat surprised that Trump won, not my first choice. However, I DO NOT agree with the protesters and those who continue to push the division of our country. I did not make any political comments on FB and just stayed far away from some of my more vocal friends. I have decided that kindness and love begins with me. As for the mushrooms, they are beautiful and somewhat appropriate for this conversation. LOL LOL LOL

Have a wonderful tomorrow!!

Sweetpea said...

Golly, such good words here. They are an echo of my own feelings that I hadn't put voice to yet. I feel like I am still reeling, still can't shake a pervasive depression that nags & nags.
You are a brave woman & I'm grateful to "know" you, if only here in blogland.
Thank You, Hilary. Terrif post......

Sweetpea said...

P.s. The 'shrooms are PERFECTION.

Shiralynkay said...

I truly feel that if we put our best into this election, is all we could come up with are these two. But America has spoken. I hope we can all get behind our president elect and pray for him daily. He really needs it. Hang onto your hats we are in for a different 4 years.
But as long as we can still weave, spin, and knit freely we will stay sane.

Karen said...

Wow those mushrooms are beautiful!!.. I don't think I've seen any like it around here.

I'm with you, Hillary - all of the above - ditto ditto ditto.

That friend? That's not a friend. Let it go or be dragged.

lynda said...

Agree with you completely. Have NEVER seen anyone so utterly unqualified and unprepared for office. The hate is already started and women's rights are going to be set back 50 years....terrified ...on day 6 of a migraine....

Corny said...


Ettenna said...

I think our country is so divided because people post things on Facebook that they would NEVER say in person to each other. They are also SO subject to being misinterpreted because one cannot clarify what the person meant. People say horrible things -both sides.
For example in the above post the word 'rural' was used. I lived in a very rural area. My anger immediately rose as I read the above comment. The person probably meant nothing by it but I immediately recalled the Hollywood tweet "Rural = Stupid". (This was tweeted after the election by a famous person in Hollywood) People are so busy labeling & deciding this group is stupid or poor or racist or whatever.
I am personally a Christian & prayed hard about the election. I choose not to share who I voted for because half the people reading this would IMMEDIATELY judge me & disregard anything I have to say. Isn't that sad? I read your post and understand that you have deep held beliefs. You are hurt. People were hurt in other elections that you felt good about. You have a hard time understanding them -they have a hard time understanding you. My challenge to all is to find someone with strong beliefs ON THE OTHER SIDE & come together. Listen, refuse to respond emotionally but instead listen to not agree but get to know each other. I volunteer a lot on behalf of the poor, innocent hurting & it blows up my universe. I can say that while I don't agree with all the people I work with I love them because they are people created in the image of God.
I was thankful for the knitting & weaving blogs BECAUSE they didn't get political. We come together agreeing on common ground & get to know each other. My sister & I don't agree politically so we choose to love each other, talk & listen to each other & if one of us starts to get accusatory or starts labeling stop the conversation & we move on to other subjects that we can agree on. ( at least we try to do that!) By listening to her I am less narrow & enriched. She doesn't always change me but I see things from her point of view & it enlarges me.
This is long -if anyone was able to read the whole thing I will be amazed! Lol

jolly said...

Love the mushrooms Hilary ..... nature always brings good feelings!! If you can't love yourself first---one has nothing to give another. It is a clear statement that puts others in perspective too! My vote is with YOU! What you think comes back to you hundredfold sooooooooooooooooooo live a personal life of joy in the Now and it immediately impacts the world around you. Back to weaving :-))))))

Hilary said...

Ettenna......I appreciate your post, and respect your opinion. There is a lot we can learn from each other. Thank you.

Vicky said...

Beautifully said. I also have had to do what Ettenna suggests- my husband and I cancel each other out in our votes- always. So I'm trying to understand just what it is that he sees, and has fully embraced? Its going to be a longgggg 4 years I think- but I'm trying.

Robin Murphy said...

What a great stand of Shaggy Mane mushrooms! Edible and you can use them for dying.
As for our national dilemma, we will weave our way through it and come out as stronger cloth.

Kim said...

Just about everyone I know is in deep mourning. We are sad, angry and scared. Mostly scared. And appalled. And we go from shock and disbelief back to anger and back to deep sadness. I, too, was a Bernie supporter. Such a decent, decent man. But somehow I think mr. T would have convinced half the country he was a communist. When lies are repeated enough times, people start to believe them.

What irony that a video that showed true colors causes one participant to lose his job and wreck his life, and the other to become president. We just can't understand.

I do know some people who voted for him. One is a devout catholic. Her issue was the appointment of a conservative supreme court judge. That is all. She hated both candidates. But she chose the one who supported that one value. Another co worker had just returned from a conference in Georgia. She sat at a table with other nurse managers. They asked where she was from and immediately tore down her Blue state for supporting H. And they were convinced H would be sent to jail and what kind of a president would that be?

I walked in a peace march on Sunday. We made the news. We were peaceful and the theme was love. Love not hate. My sign read "respect for all". I felt better.

And I need to do something. I am working on an art project and will submit it in a month. It will be interactive. I want people to think about what they can do to try to understand someone else who is different from them. To smile at someone whose skin is different. To eat at an ethnic restaurant. To find ways to support and protect those people who are, and will continue to be, targeted unfairly. They can write their intentions and attach them to this tapestry, and they can read what others can do. I believe the basis of hate is because we are different, and removed from other cultures and ways of life. The more we understand each other and respect each other, the better we can work together respectfully for the good of all.

I am so much trying now to focus on what I CAN do to make this horrible situation better.

Beth Ferrier said...

I would humbly submit that if you are "stunned" by this election it's because you haven't been listening. The Democrats have continued to lose seats in both the federal and local governments over the last few elections. The response was not to listen to the constituency but to double down on the leftist, elitist rhetoric. Instead of trying to understand they just started calling names. Trump didn't help himself and I won't excuse him for that. But, he's also a rookie politician and hasn't mastered Washington's PC double speak. Those of us out here in flyover land are able to discern the difference between Mexican criminals and all Mexicans by the context of the conversation. Ideologues just shout bigot. (Try googling Bill Clinton's speech on illegal immigration from 1995. Sound familiar?) I think it's a little disingenuous for the party that celebrates disgusting rap music as free speech to get bent when a politician uses those same words. (Not condoning any of it, by the way, just to be clear.) Trump has spent his entire adult life in front of the camera, the opposition spent hundreds of millions of dollars trying to dig up dirt and that's the best they could do. Our government was designed for the citizen servant, not the career politician. I trust that if he turns out to be a real turnip we have ways to handle that. At best he has two years to make the difference. It will be very interesting to see what voter turnout is in the next election. P.S. I do love your weaving and your old house.

Daryl said...


Sharon said...

Great post Hilary! It's been and continues to be a nightmare. I'm stunned at how many people drank the KoolAid. I lost a friendship over this that was apparently more superficial than I had realized and I nearly came to blows with my son. I did not see this coming. The friend is gone and I am still sad about that but my son and I are gingerly working forward. And it's only just beginning. It's clear to me that this coup means to turn their backs on social justice which means we need to find ways to invest in our society outside of our "government." I loved the example of donating to Planned Parenthood in Mike Pence's name :)

MarthaVA said...

I'm with you.

(I haven't kept up with Blogger recently so just seeing this).


Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

This was a beautiful post that lets me know I am not alone. I've unfriended only a few but have unfollowed many. I am tired, and sad, and it has only gotten worse in the past weeks.
Your baby wraps are so beautiful and your blog is a peaceful place for me. I've seen your comments many times over at The Smitten Image but somehow failed to follow you home here -- and this has been my loss. I'll be back when I have time, because the beauty and peace you project is worth every second spent.
Thank you.

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