Crazy as a Loom

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Back so soon?

I can't believe that October is favorite month of went by so quickly, and now I have to wait another whole year for it again.
November.....well, you know....sometimes it can be gray and cold and grim.
We'll see.
Yesterday I decided to take a wee break from weaving.  I'm not sure how I got onto it, but I decided to try my hand at free motion quilting.
I watched a few You Tube videos.   I searched and found a foot that came with my Bernina sewing machine, that would work.
I figured out how to drop the feed dogs.
And I started.
Can I just tell you that it is MUCH harder than it looks.
Getting your feet to manage the speed, and your hands to match that speed.....well, it ain't easy.

While I was dreaming of bigger and better equipment to do it on, getting 100 steps ahead of myself, as usual, I realized that this was not going to be a venture of mine, no matter how appealing it might be.
And it is very addictive, difficult, but addictive.

Because after about an hour, my NECK, my fused, finicky, moody neck, began to talk to me.
It said some pretty nasty things.  I had to listen.

So back to the loom, with an occasional foray to make an occasional potholder, or quilt square.  That's a more reasonable scenario.   For me.

It's amazing, how I have managed to adapt.  I never imagined that I could.  But I find, these last four years, since my first surgery, that I have had to go with the flow, even if sometimes I hated it.  I had to change the perception of myself that I had.  That "can do" everything me.  It sounds depressing, and sad, but to be honest, when I let that perception go, I found a new me, one that I think I like even better.
This revised version of me  is more thoughtful, more reflective.  She has learned how to take breaks, how to be better to herself.
Still busy, oh yes, but in a kinder way.
Reminding me of advice an old weaver once gave me, "Shake it up.  Change what you are doing.  Don't do the same thing all day long.  Your body will love you for it."
So I weave some.   Then I do chicken duty.
I organize a little.
I weave some more.
I bake, then I sit and study something.
I weave some more.
Sometimes I kick back for 30 min.  A power rest.

Then I sew a little.
I plan projects.
I play on my laptop.
I weave a little more.
I go to the store.

You get the drift.  Busy, yes, all the time.  But not chained to the loom for production.  I just recently did that to myself, committed to a 100 yards of weaving.   I don't know why.....I guess I have to be vigilant of the "old me" sticking her nose in.
I finished it, but by the time I did, I hated it.  I vowed right then and there that I would be much more careful.   I would put solid boundaries on how much weaving I took on.

This is my life.
This is my retirement life.
I need to do just what I want.

I read a friend's FB post recently, about her venture into production weaving, and how happy she was to be able to do it.
And I smiled.
Because I am very happy, thrilled  in fact, to say no no no no to production weaving.  I have had enough.  I want to weave at a pace that makes me content, not frenzied.
My little 100 yard slip really convinced me of that.

I look ahead, and think of the time I might have left ahead.  No one knows.   We just hope for the best.  But however much time it is, I want to do it well, spend it well,  do meaningful things.   Meaningful to me, means slowing down enough to savor them.

Life is short, my friends.
Savor it.


Theresa said...

Life IS short and I'm happy to be reading that you are making your retirement just what you want. Go girl!

Angela Tucker said...

Hillary, thank you so very much for this post. I, too, am coming to the realization that life is much too short to spend it doing "chores". I want to be free to work like crazy, but then take a two hour nap. Go for a walk that lasts an hour without worrying who is looking for me. Ignore my cell phone. I was of the age to retire last year, but have hung on for my boss. He leaves next month. Will I stay? Will I go? I love my job, but when will I have time for me?
Again, thank you.

claudia said...

I am so happy that you posted this. It solidified what I do daily. A little of this, a little of that, keeping busy, but going at my own pace. I moved two years ago, and still have not repaired my floor loom, I have weaved (wove, woven?) anything for so! It was back before I moved to my dad's house to take care of him. UGH! Years! I will get to it, I will weave again, I am promising myself, but I refuse to bash myself into it. It will happen, just at my own pace.

Peg Cherre said...

It is true. Life is short. Always shorter than we think, so it is a struggle for many of us (myself included for sure) to constantly remember that we don't have to 'do it all' before we die. Doing just part of it, whatever it is, is just fine. Trying something and realizing it's not our cuppa tea. Being good with, "Huh. I didn't get very much done today." We need to sometimes mess up, taking on too much, to be reminded by our bodies, our families, our friends, that we've forgotten to stop & smell the roses.

Unknown said...

Happy to see you are taking care of yourself, enjoying all you do, and have discovered the pace that will be good for you. We seem to have reached a similar point, just different causes, mine being age creeping up on me, and very possibly some effects of post-polio. Like you, I vary my activities, rest when needed, and have learned to slow down, enjoy, and worry less. I expect to have caring for my father coming up in another year or so, he was worried, I offered, and it is all good. And now there are some breaks in the clouds, the sun is peeking through, and it's time to go out and make progress on yard work before winter arrives. Weaving later in the day.

thotlady said...

Nice post Hilary.

Karen said...

Love this post. Love the picture of (I forgot her name!) by the fire, and the cozy feel you have created in your farmhouse - and I'm coveting the picture in the center of your mantel of the child with the dog. Is there a name on that print? perhaps on the back?

MarthaVA said...

I'm finding that having more than one major interest is more fun! I weave, sew my weaving into garments, I spin yarn then knit or crochet or weave with it. I have recently taken up the Native American flute, and I LOVE it. I never played an instrument before, but it's freeing, I play from the heart, and, did I mention, I LOVE it?

It's good to spread out and do different things, even at 60 years old! Never too old to learn something new.

Enjoy life. That's what we're here for!


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