I can't believe that October is over...my favorite month of all.....it went by so quickly, and now I have to wait another whole year for it again.
November.....well, you know....sometimes it can be gray and cold and grim.
Yesterday I decided to take a wee break from weaving. I'm not sure how I got onto it, but I decided to try my hand at free motion quilting.
I watched a few You Tube videos. I searched and found a foot that came with my Bernina sewing machine, that would work.
I figured out how to drop the feed dogs.
And I started.
Can I just tell you that it is MUCH harder than it looks.
Getting your feet to manage the speed, and your hands to match that speed.....well, it ain't easy.
While I was dreaming of bigger and better equipment to do it on, getting 100 steps ahead of myself, as usual, I realized that this was not going to be a venture of mine, no matter how appealing it might be.
And it is very addictive, difficult, but addictive.
Because after about an hour, my NECK, my fused, finicky, moody neck, began to talk to me.
It said some pretty nasty things. I had to listen.
So back to the loom, with an occasional foray to make an occasional potholder, or quilt square. That's a more reasonable scenario. For me.
It's amazing, how I have managed to adapt. I never imagined that I could. But I find, these last four years, since my first surgery, that I have had to go with the flow, even if sometimes I hated it. I had to change the perception of myself that I had. That "can do" everything me. It sounds depressing, and sad, but to be honest, when I let that perception go, I found a new me, one that I think I like even better.
This revised version of me is more thoughtful, more reflective. She has learned how to take breaks, how to be better to herself.
Still busy, oh yes, but in a kinder way.
Reminding me of advice an old weaver once gave me, "Shake it up. Change what you are doing. Don't do the same thing all day long. Your body will love you for it."
So I weave some. Then I do chicken duty.
I organize a little.
I weave some more.
I bake, then I sit and study something.
I weave some more.
Sometimes I kick back for 30 min. A power rest.
Then I sew a little.
I plan projects.
I play on my laptop.
I weave a little more.
I go to the store.
You get the drift. Busy, yes, all the time. But not chained to the loom for production. I just recently did that to myself, committed to a 100 yards of weaving. I don't know why.....I guess I have to be vigilant of the "old me" sticking her nose in.
I finished it, but by the time I did, I hated it. I vowed right then and there that I would be much more careful. I would put solid boundaries on how much weaving I took on.
This is my life.
This is my retirement life.
I need to do just what I want.
I read a friend's FB post recently, about her venture into production weaving, and how happy she was to be able to do it.
And I smiled.
Because I am very happy, thrilled in fact, to say no no no no to production weaving. I have had enough. I want to weave at a pace that makes me content, not frenzied.
My little 100 yard slip really convinced me of that.
I look ahead, and think of the time I might have left ahead. No one knows. We just hope for the best. But however much time it is, I want to do it well, spend it well, do meaningful things. Meaningful to me, means slowing down enough to savor them.
Life is short, my friends.