But sometimes it is a relief to say what is on your mind, as long as you are doing it not to hurt anyone else, but to just be clear about your boundaries.
I have been brooding of late, but last night, I slept better than I have in a month. Even with my stiff, aching neck. I think that getting something off my mind that has been bothering me was good medicine.
This photo is the kind of serenity that I long for. I think we all do.
I love it when I am out and about, and some perfect stranger says to me, "Your neck looks kind of stiff, huh?"
Uh, yeah. Silence.
What else to say?
It's an art, knowing when to speak up, and knowing when to shut up. I have not always been good at that. I find myself giving it a lot more thought these days than I have previously.
Smasher since Sunday, but the sun is shining this morning, even though it is bitterly cold, so I am hoping that the headache dissipates as the day goes on. My youngest daughter said to me last week, "I don't know anyone who could have gotten through two years of a headache like you have."
Now I am sure that I am not the only one capable of this, but wow, isn't it nice that she thinks that of me? I was very touched by her comment. It makes me more determined to stay as strong as I can be, to walk this path that I have been given, with as much grace and courage as I can.
Good days, bad days, accepting them all. Doing the best I can with all of them.
My first daughter, (not allowed to say oldest :), came to the studio yesterday. She is going to help me with Crazy as a Loom, taking over some jobs that I think will get her acclimated to my business. We spent the day together, me showing her what I do on my web site, and explaining what parts she could do.
Later, on the phone, she told me that she could 'go to work' THERE every day, and love it.
I said, "hmm, you are beginning to sound like your mother."
So life goes on, daily stuff.... like Roy getting a bath. Look at that face. He hates it, but he doesn't move a muscle until it's over.
Sewing socks, and more socks, and more socks.........there is no end. But somehow, the monotony of it is sometimes soothing in its own way.
I'm weird, I know.
And after your bath, there is no place like your blankie on the couch with your Mum.
Sitting with my second cuppa coffee, finally the sky is blue, the sun is pouring through the windows as I type. The headache is lifting. I am hesitant to leave this quiet little cocoon I am in at this moment. Pensive, sad for things gone by, but still hopeful, still grateful.
There is so much to be grateful for.