Drama

The kids are gone, it is finally quiet. I am ashamed to say that I just had an argument with my 86 year old mother.
My oldest daughter took her to the Salvation Army today, and it seems that the pastor did a bit of "Catholic bashing", which my daughter did NOT appreciate.  So much did she NOT appreciate it, that she said she would not go again, ever.
The only reason I dodged the bullet today was the fact that I had three kids in tow.
So.....
Can you even imagine?
My mother is super upset.
And dopey me, tried to make her understand my daughter's point of view, and ultimately I  made it worse.
MUCH worse.
Not a good idea to debate with your ever rigid, very English, 86 year old mother, who very obviously has had some mental changes, and who is depressed to boot. Not a good idea at all.

The day didn't start off badly.

The kids were having a blast playing outside, and the snow had finally melted enough for them to run around the labyrinth.
I amused myself upstairs, where I could see them from the window.

First, I tied on  the new warp, to the old one.
For those of you who want to know, I do this a lot.  I do it as much as I can get away with.  It is so much quicker than threading the heddles and the reed.

Of course, I had company.  Miss Puss, for all her bitchiness, loves me.

When the warp is ready, I feel like I should be yelling............TOUCHDOWN.  Or something.
It is a rush, every time.

And if you wondered what I was going to do with this hot pink warp, here is my first shawl.  Is it too much???

Sydney says:    Don't be upset.  This too shall pass.
Sydney talks a lot.

A few truths.

Sometimes you wander through life and no change is necessary.  Then there are other times that just demand some thought.
Not long ago, I think right around the New Year, I started thinking about what made me happy, and what didn't.
I have to admit that I am mostly happy.  There is not much in my life that causes discontent.
And most of it is inconsequential in the scheme of things.

At my age, I am not too awfully vain.  Kind of late for that, I think.
But as you know,  I did have had some anxiety about my hair, mostly about whether to dye it or not.

About 13 years ago, having just slid over the 50 mark, I went to California with my youngest daughter, to visit my middle daughter, her husband, and my first grandchild.  While I was there, they convinced me to dye my hair, and I have been doing so since.  I kind of liked having red hair, but  for the last year, I was having a problem with it.  I was getting tired of spending the money, and tired of wasting my time.
But the biggest reason of all, is that even though the hair itself looked OK, there was a huge disparity between my hair, and the rest of me.  My hair looked like it belonged to a 35 year old, and um, the rest of me did not.

So a few months ago, I stopped.  My hair is getting quite silver, if I do say so myself.  And while I might not be impressing anyone else, I quite like it.  It matches the rest of me. Ha!

But among the few things that bothered me, the biggest aggravation was my weight.  I have gained 25 lbs over the course of the years, and it does not belong on my body.
And like many of you, I have tried a whole bevy of diets, I have bought a truckload of exercise equipment, and nothing much has worked.
Except once, a few years back, I did lose 18 lbs.
Sure I gained it back, but I did lose it, and I did it with Weight Watchers.
I gave it up because I was hungry all the time.
Well, 8 weeks ago, I joined Weight Watchers again, the new WW, with a new program.  The good news is that I am not hungry all the time.
 I am going to lose this 25 lbs, if it is the LAST thing I EVER do.
I decided, that the one thing in this world that makes me unhappy is  this 25 lbs of fat.  It is like carrying around FIVE 5 lb bags of sugar on my hips.
I can't stop getting older, in fact, I am quite grateful for the chance to do so, but I don't have to do it with 25 extra lbs on my body.

So far, I am doing well, I am presently wearing a pair of corduroy jeans that I could not previously zip up.  And I am committed.   My goal is to show you a picture of myself 25lbs lighter.  It might take a while.  But it will happen.  The biggest obstacle right now is the plantar fasciitis that plagues me and makes it hard to walk far, but if the weather keeps improving,  I will be getting my bike out soon.

Little trip to the horse farm down the road, where the grandkids want to go this summer to learn to ride.
The wind was chilly, but the sun marvelled.
Can the sun marvel?  You bet it can.

When we got to the studio, the kids started playing their usual ninja game, with dowels for swords, and loopers for face and body decoration, so I took the opportunity to put on a warp.
But here's a tip......when you wind some spools for a warp, and put them aside in a bag, it is a real good idea to tag the bag with the pertinent information, like how many yards of warp is on each spool, and how many threads per inch and yards on the beam you intend you use.
But I figured it out eventually.

This will be some wild and pink shawls, or maybe a ruana or two.
All I have to do now is tie it on.

Now the kids  have taken over my house, the living room is cluttered with their stuff, and as
much as I love them, I wonder how I ever did this day after day.
I guess that's why people my age don't (shouldn't) actually have little kids.
But I can enjoy them more, knowing that they will go home to Mommy tomorrow.
Ah........

Second try

Let me just say that it wicked annoying to work on a post, only to discover that suddenly it is gone.
But I suppose that there isn't much sense in crying about it, is there?
Let me try again.
Hear that noise?  My teeth grating.

L and I wove a 4'x6' black caterpillar rug, that is already on its way to Colorado.

Do you have any idea how hard Sydney works?  She is the official cat who weights rugs down while fringe is tied.
Never mind that sometimes parts of her get in the way of tying the fringe.

This rug will surely brighten up a room.

This sure looks like spring, but I'm no fool, I have seen these covered in snow.....thus their name.

We took a break, and walked up the road. It was very windy, but warm.

The hamlet of Kingsbury is mostly rural farmland.  There is a general store, four churches, a diner, a couple of machine shops, a couple of pumpkin enthusiasts, a sawmill, and Crazy as a Loom.

It is generally quiet and pretty laid back.

It is a good place to be.  Whatever star led me here, I am thankful.

Voila

It was warm here today, in the 50's, but there is still a lot of snow.

It's OK, though, spring is close.  If you listen, you can hear the difference in the bird song.
Today, I was thinking of flowers, and planting.  I could almost imagine digging in the dirt.

But you know me, right?   I am a fool for color, and it sustains me.

It makes it easier to wait for the weather to get better.
And dreaming of gardening doesn't hurt, either.

Watching Real Time with Bill Maher.  American Idol sacked another one.
And I have moved on to The Girl Who Plays with Fire.
Life is good in the northeast.

Time to rest

Weaving boot camp completed.
Whew!!!  I am beat.  Another newbie weaver set loose on the world.
I love it.

Last night, I lay in bed reading, and I heard some thumping out on in the back of the house.  So I snuck downstairs with a flashlight, and shone it out on the back porch.  The culprit was a very large opossum, who was not one bit interested in me or the illumination.  He wandered around looking for more food, he had already finished the cat food, and muddied up their water.  Sydney and I watched for a bit, and he finally waddled off the porch, and I went back to my book.
I am reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, after my daughter badgered me for a  month.
And I can't wait to finish it.

One of the things I love about the studio is the morning light.
The house faces east, and as soon as the sun comes up, the whole place just glows.

On one hand, the earth can be so brutal, and on the other, its beauty is incredible.

It makes my heart sing, if you know what I mean.

It is good to have these moments, especially when the news is so horrific.  It is reassuring to feel joy in something simple and basic.

It is easy to be fearful of the unknown.
Harder sometimes to choose to be positive.
Maybe that is why I weave, because when I get immersed in the color and the texture in front of me, I forget about everything else.
Everyone copes in their own way.

Just checking in.

It's getting late, and I am too tired to be philosophical.  I am in the middle of a weaving boot camp, and sometimes I think I get more tired than the recruits.
But I love it anyway.

I love watching new weavers,  first they are puzzled, then intent, excited, and a little bit in awe of themselves.

Makes me want to, well, express myself.

Makes me feel a little like a kid again.

But, it makes me very tired.  I guess I get a little intent, too.
Hard to believe, I know.

And now I just want to relax, until tomorrow, and then we will do it all again.
Good night all.

What Are Words?

I saw this video on my blogger friend Di's page, and I loved it SO much, that I wanted to post it myself.

For those of you who don't watch American Idol, one of my favorites who didn't make the final 13, was Chris Medina.  His story, briefly, is that his beautiful fiancee was in a horrific auto accident right before they were scheduled to get married.  She is partially paralyzed, she suffered a traumatic brain injury, and he has stuck by her through it all, and seems to be committed to stand by her for the duration.

I was sad to see him get booted from Idol, but I don't think you have heard the last of him.

His new single, which was written specifically for him, by someone who believes in his talent, says volumes.

I have always been wary of words, words, words, because as the old maxim says, actions speak louder.

How many people talk a good story, but don't follow through?  Their actions don't reflect what they say they believe.

Because in the end, you know who will be there for you.  You know who you can call, anytime.  You know who will come, always.  You don't need any words to tell you.

You just know.

The people I love, my family, my friends, don't need me to tell them how I feel.  They know.  I show them.  I hope I show them enough.

Take a couple of minutes, and listen to this sweet young man pouring his heart out.

And be who you say you are.

What else is there?

Change

Yes, change.  That's what life is.  Whenever you find yourself thinking that you just can't do what you're doing anymore, or that life has handed you a situation that is just too hard, just do the Scarlett O'Hara number.
Think about it tomorrow.
Don't do it because you're a hare brained, selfish person, no.  Do it because when you immerse yourself in those simple daily duties, getting the groceries, making a meal, mowing the lawn, whatever it is you have to do, life is CHANGING.  What drove you crazy is already shifting, like the plates of the earth.


Nothing endures but change.   
Heraclitus

When I look back at the times in my life when I was deep in despair, it is like thinking about a story I read once.  I remember it, but it gets more vague all the time.  Who said getting old was awful?
Some things are best forgotten.

Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it. If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy.

W. Somerset Maugham 

And isn't it true, that sometimes, we DO delight in change.  We make it happen.
 Like not dyeing my hair anymore.  Sounds simple, doesn't it?  But it reflects a deep change within me that I can't explain. My DH said, "but I like red hair."
I said, "Then dye YOUR head."
It isn't about hair color, not at all. And though he teases me, I know that he gets it.

"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are, for what you could become."

End of rant.
You can ask me where that came from, but I haven't a clue.

I had a huge bag of these that needed to be sewn together, so we can make another big rug on Monday.

So that is pretty much what I did all day.  I ended up with these.
I am grateful for today, I watch the news, and shudder.
I look outside, and say, snow, ah..........lovely snow.

Yes, thanks.

Ah, sunshine.
Even with snow on the ground.
And I saw a woodchuck, or groundhog, whatever you want to call it, outside prowling around on the snow.
So as far as I am concerned, it's SPRING.

The eaves are dripping, the snow and ice are melting.  Do you see me doing the happy dance????

It is supposed to be in the 40's here all next week.   OMG.  Heart be still.

Do you think there is room out here for a loom?????

Plenty of clouds, but plenty of sun, too.

Driving down the highway today, I passed a guy in a battered old truck.  He had a piece of pizza in his left hand, an orange soda in his right hand, and he was driving.
On the dash directly in front of him were THREE LARGE disposable coffee cups, taking up at least half of his visual of the road.
I got by him as fast as I could.  What DO people think about???

Back at the studio, we are busier than ever.
Cut lots of fabric for some rugs.

I am worried that I don't have enough of this fabric for all 4 rugs, and of course, that would be a disaster. So I am thinking that I should be cutting all this fabric into strips half as wide, and winding it with  another blue that is close in value.  Kind of like like adding another ingredient to make more soup, if you know what I mean.
The bad news is that we may have to take this first rug apart.  How will I tell L?
Oh, that's right, she reads my blog.
Sorry, L.

On another front, I found a container of this wildly hot pink stuff to make a looper rug, or several.

All in all, life is good.  
I am sad for the people of Japan.  I worry for the people of Libya, and Egypt.
I am fortunate to live in the frozen northeast.
I am going to try not to complain so much about things that really are of little consequence in the long run.
Gratitude, baby, gratitude.