Ta da.

So, on the Blue Ridge Gal's advice, I did just what I  p.....pickin' wanted to do on my birthday.
Unfortunately, for me and you, it wasn't very exciting.
You see last week, my granddaughter gave me a big, wet kiss on the lips.  And she had a cold.
I waited until she got out of the car, and I quickly washed my lips with hand sanitizer.  YUK.  That was pretty unpleasant,  and to be honest, I don't advise it.  And guess what, it didn't work anyway.

So, there was no avoiding the head cold on the birthday thing.  I fully intended to ignore it.
It was the back spasm that I couldn't ignore.  If you have ever had a back that 'went out', then you know what I mean.  I gave up the ghost at noon, and came home.  Thank God for "L" holding down the fort.
I promptly did 30 minutes in the hot tub, pajamas, and a heating pad.  Happy Birthday to me.

Now in case you are wondering about my back, I am not sure what happened, but it could have something to do with jumping off a snow bank, backwards.
Possibly.
But please don't feel bad for me.
It's a wonderful birthday.  I'm alive!  And I have a roof over my head, a couple of them, in fact.  Winter is almost over. I have a lovely family, fantastic friends.  DH making dinner while I lounge here with my lap top.
I sat in the hot tub today, with the snow blowing off the trees into my face, the jets beating on my lower back.  Life is good.  Head cold, back pain.  No big deal.  I get it.  Every now and then, I get this slap up side of my head: slow down, be BETTER to yourself, you only have the here and NOW.  Love it.
Love yourself.

And some papers were signed today that gives someone I love a whole new lease on life.  It was, HANDS DOWN, one of the  the best birthday gift EVER.   If only I could shout it to the roof tops, but I have to restrain myself, and be satisfied with sharing it with you all.
Soon, I hope to have more good news, that everyone I love is in good health.  Nothing will make me happier than that will.


A while back, my good friend Alice, asked me if she could have something delivered to the studio.   I said sure.
Little did I know.

She was very pleased that they were alive and well.

I personally think that they are disgusting.  But she loves them.  She keeps them IN HER BATHROOM, and feeds them kitchen waste.  It is her contribution to the environment.
I personally could find some other way.
Just thought you might like to know, in case you want to get some of your very own.

I  have nothing whatever to say about this photo, I just wanted to see something bright and colorful, and pleasant, after those worms!   Good Lord.


So, I may not get much done this week.  But that's OK.   Maybe I will get some knitting done, some writing, some reading.  Maybe I will get a nap or two in.  Maybe I will just get another perspective.

And you know how that goes.  Perspestive is everything.
Love you all out there.

How old are you?

So......can you amuse yourself with a few cotton loopers, and some scotch tape???

I think it is an art, one that we forget as we get older.  When they asked me to help them with the tape, I said, "Sure."
Answers like that make their mothers, my daughters, crazy.
That's because they've forgotten how to be silly, and I am just remembering.
We went to McDonalds.  God help me.
And we went to the movies and saw Gnomeo in 3D.
They didn't even ask for popcorn, candy or soda.  They knew the drill.
I will feed them before the movie, I will feed them after the movie, but I will not pay $6 for a box of candy that should cost less than $1.00, and they are OK with that.  They know that when we get out of the movie I will buy them a box of donuts, or ice cream, or whatever they want, just not at the movie theater.
One thing I have found out about being a grandmother  Mimi, is that they accept my idiosyncrasies, simply because I am old.  If I am crazy, or quirky, or just plain unlike what they are accustomed to, it's OK.  I am Mimi.  And I am old.
Ya gotta love this.
I watched my husband walking across the street.  He is old, like me.   But damn, if he doesn't walk across the street like a young man.  And this afternoon, when I took Eddie for a walk, even though he is almost 14, he pranced, like a puppy.
My two old guys.   Still young at heart.  That's what I love the best.
For after all, age is a matter of mind.  And I don't, I don't really mind.  Tomorrow is my 64TH birthday.....SIXTY FOURTH???????WTH?????
Well, I don't feel, think, or act like I am that old, and because I am that old, I don't care all that much if I look that old.
Did you get that?   Whew.

My husband made my favorite, his secret spagetti sauce, just cause I asked him to.

He totally won't give this recipe up.  He is going to take it with him.  Too bad, cause it's really the best ever.  So when he's gone, we not only will miss him, we will miss our favorite comfort food.
That's just wrong.

So I am having a little pinot grigio to celebrate the day BEFORE my birthday, and then I will have another glass to celebrate the actual day.
I was weaving a bit on my "home" loom, but  I am not all that motivated tonight.

Before I give in and become more slug like, I have to tell you  a little story.
Yesterday morning, I was brushing Ava's hair.  She was yelling, making quite the ruckus, totally overreacting.  When I was finished, I turned to Gabs, and said, "So Gabby, what shall we do to YOUR hair today?"
She said, " I like it the way it is."
We're talking Miss Bedhead, here.
Bill was taking this all in, and he piped up, "She's absolutely gorgeous just the way she is."
With a mile wide grin, she turned to him and said, " Well, Poppa, you're gorgeous just the way YOU are."
I am just glad I didn't have to try to wipe the smile off his face.

NO time like NOW.

For all of you out there who have been wondering, the news so far is hopeful.  Tentatively, hopeful.

Life is funny, though.   We don't get a list, that we can check off.  Yeah, I'll take that one, and that one, and maybe a little of that.

Nope, we just get what we get.  We have to play the hand that we are dealt.

A friend of mine called me today.  Her husband is going through a hellish combo of chemo and radiation.  He is a good man, never smoked, never drank.

It isn't fair.

But you know what?  

Life isn't fair.  No one ever said that it was.

Years ago, I went to a counselor, back when my life was beginning to unravel.

I said, "It's not fair."

He looked at me with a look I will never forget. 

"Who told you that life would ever be fair?"

Ah.  Silence.   

Actually, no one told me that.  It was something that I wanted, so I just assumed it so.

But it is not true, not now, not ever.

I was watching the end of Oprah the other day.....I happened to get home and it was still on.  There were these 80 year old twin ladies, cute as a button.  They ran a soup kitchen, and Oprah was telling them that they were getting a year's worth of food from a big grocery chain..........Oprah asked them how they kept up the pace.  One of them smiled sweetly and said, "When it's my time, I want Him to take me ON MY FEET."

Oh, Lord, I do so love that statement.  I could have hugged that girl right then and there.

Yes, take me ON MY FEET.  Still living, still working, still doing, still struggling.  On my feet.

LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

So what do you want to do?  What do you love?  What makes your heart sing?

Whatever it is, don't leave it until later, because you don't know how much "later" you will have.

Do it now.  As much as you can, live it now.

If there's something you want to learn, something you want to experience, somewhere you want to go, there is no time like now.

Bunnynose bites the dust.

Not really......Bunnynose is FINE.   He is just not the neighborhood stud anymore.
"L" put the Havaheart out on the porch, baited it with mackerel,  and a few hours later, Bunnynose
was hunched down in there looking embarrassed.
She made a quick trip to the vets with him, and as luck would have it, they were doing surgeries when she got there,  and they whisked him right in.  He will be back home later this afternoon, probably wondering what the hell happened.
Interestingly enough, they didn't have any problems with him, except that he was scared, but he wasn't mean or aggressive at all.
Poor little guy, he apparently used to live across the road, until his owners moved away and left him behind.
Well, I think he has found a home.  He probably won't be wandering  around as much now that he is not going to be chasing women.
UPDATE:  "L" just called.....when she brought Bunnynose home, put the carrier down in front of the barn, and let him out, he shot out of there like a bullet, down the driveway, and straight across the highway with 4pm traffic.   She about had a heart attack, and no matter what she says, I know it wasn't the $55 that she was worried about.
Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you, she doesn't like cats that well.
Ahem.
Oh, well, you can't blame the guy for having a bit of an attitude, now can you?

I have not been very effective this week, and that's OK.  For once in my life, I can give myself permission to NOT achieve much of anything at all.

I just hemmed these towels last night....I have been working on them for awhile in front of my fireplace at home in the evenings.  They made me feel good, when they came out of the dryer, and looked so good, and felt so soft.  I actually felt better about being a slug.  Sometimes it is good to rest on your laurels, don't you think?
Now I am firmly planted on the couch, looking through some old Handwoven magazines, looking for inspiration, and maybe a little solace, too.
I appreciate your prayers, your concern, your kind words.  It is a family member I am worried for, someone I love so much.
I am staying strong, trying to stay positive, because that is what I need to do right now.
Thanks for caring.
Knowing that you are all out there thinking good thoughts is a bonus at the end of the day, one I am grateful for.

Thinking on things.

This is me today, not quite all there.  Luckily, I know it.  So I didn't do anything that took too much brain power, because I knew it would spell disaster.

I have been thinking about those times when the road turns, and you desperately want to keep going straight on.  Unfortunately, the path is clear, and straight isn't an option.

On the way to the studio this morning, I remembered one of those times.  I was a young woman,  about 7 months pregnant with my second child.  I thought I was June Cleaver, for real.  I canned all my own vegetables, raised my own chickens, baked my own bread.  I was a hippie girl all grown up.  I laugh now at how naive I was.  But honestly, I thought my life was just as near perfect as it could be.
Then one warm June night, the breeze blew through the open windows, and something else blew in, too.
I have blips of a video leftover in my head.  The Emergency Room in the local hospital.  The police.
The realization that I was living with someone who had another life, one that did not include me, and one that was distasteful to me, as well.    The road turned, and it took me with it.
Life as I knew it was never the same.

For a long time, I was like this barn with no walls.  The wind blew right through me.

Slowly though, the door to a new life opened,  and I came out of the dark.

This pond looks cold, but it never freezes.  No one is sure why it doesn't.  But it proves that even when you think the future looks bleak, or frightening, that sometimes miracles do happen.

I have found that place in my life, where the water is fine.
But alas, the road still turns, and I am pretty sure that it will take me with it again.
As it must.

Keep on keeping on.

For those of you who asked, here is the LINK to the veggie burger recipe.

I tried to concentrate today, I had a warp to put on for pinwheel towels.   The first two sections I wound on were such a mess, I ended up winding them right back off.
Still worried and distracted. "L" said it's time for a ride.
That was a pretty good idea, so come along for a little tour of the tundra up here in northeast NY.

 There was just no sense in trying to do something that required concentration.
It was time to take a break.

 This is beautiful country, I just like it better in the spring/summer/fall.

There are a lot of old houses, and old barns around here.

It was sunny and beautiful out, as much as it can be when it is still so COLD.  Tomorrow is supposed to be warmer.

Several places we passed were summer residences only.
Talk about snowed in.

Little ice, anyone?

I'm still worried, and I am not too sure that it is going to go away any time soon.
So bear with me, OK?  If I seem a little off, I probably am.

Sometimes life just unfolds, the way life does, and we are left wondering what just happened?

It is easy to get complacent, and take this good life for granted.  It is also easy to think that it will never change.  But life is change.

The hardest part is not knowing what is over that hill.  Sometimes it is just plain damn scary.

No one likes having to walk across that slippery log.

And sometimes the mountain looks formidable.

What I would really like is to have these worries fly away.  Be gone.

But can you tell by my face?  Sometimes it is what it is.

Buck up, little camper.  

So keep praying, ok?

Are you hungry?

Yes, it is still winter....even though it was pretty warm today, and the snow was melting.  Tomorrow, back to the chill..............
And now I know why my kitchen is so cold.  The floors throughout the whole downstairs are pitch pine, and about 1 and 1/2" thick, but they have been there for 200+ years, and I suppose they boards have shrunk.   If you look close, you can see the light from the cellar window between these two floor boards.

 So I guess my idea to clean the cellar, and insulate the floors, was a great idea after all.
Can't wait.

While my husband was making a pizza, I was busy making veggie burgers.  Not everyone's favorite, I know.
This recipe is new to me, but sounded good enough to try.

 This is what they looked like after they were browned in the frying pan, and with some onion, lettuce, and some Thousand Island dressing, they were flat out good.

 Now today, for lunch, I decided on a salad.  This may look like a strange combination, but honestly, it was delish.  Spring mix, boiled eggs, cut up pear, lentil sprouts, a little feta, and my new favorite salad dressing.....that is unbelievably low in calories.

 Strawberry balsamic..............yummy.

 Sometimes food is just all that is going on here.   
Except that tonight I am praying for good news about someone I'm worried about. 
Pray with me, ok?

And the winner is!!!!

Using random.org about 2 minutes ago, the results are in!!!
Drum roll......and the winner is................Donna S. from Indiana!!!!!!
So Donna, you wanted a fabric rug........email me at ragrugs@crazyasaloom.com with your mailing address........
I know I said there were no choices, but ..............well, I lied.
What colors do you like, or not like???
Congratulations, Donna.  Hope you love your rug!
Thanks everyone for giving it a shot.....not to worry, we'll be doing it again!
Now, back to the Grammy's.
Good god, there are some weird people in this world.
Yes, I would be talking about Lady GaGa.

Hell is just a word.

Did you ever just have one of those days?  Your pants are too tight, you have a pain here, and a pain there.  You can't find anything.  You can't get out of your own way.  You KNOW what I'm talkin' about~!!!!
Nothing goes right, no matter what you do.

Today was MY turn to take my dear Mother to the Salvation Army church services.
And I did.  
I first go to the studio, to fill the pellet stove, and more importantly to feed all the cats.  The inside cats have food in their dish, but the outside cats are not so fortunate.  Other animals, one an opossum, I think.....clean the dish every night, and wreak havoc on the water bowl.  Those cats are happier to see me arrive in the morning than my own four spoiled house cats.

I picked my mother up with plenty of time to spare, and after a short drive, navigated her across an icy driveway.
Now don't think I go to church with her with a bad attitude.  I don't.  I do believe in God.  Very much so.  Only my faith in God got me through some tough times.  But just like in the family of AA and Al Anon, it is the God of MY understanding, and to me, the Bible is just another bunch of stories.   Good stories, some of them, but stories.
But I GET the whole experience, and I often feel good saying thank you.  Gratitude is a good thing to have.
I sing along with the rest of the congregation.  I listen to everything with an open mind, even though I sometimes think they are off the grid.
Now everything was going fine.  I hadn't even taken my knitting out, when my mother dropped her bulletin on the floor.  Much to my horror, she looked down, looked at me, and LOUDLY, because she wears a hearing aid that she never turns up, she said, "Now where the HELL did that go?"

ay yi yi yi yi

My daughter, when I told her about this, said "did everyone look at her?"
Well, I wouldn't know, because I was looking at the floor.  Thank you very much.

Two hours later, no, I am not joking......... I ran into Panera to get her a sandwich to eat before we got to the hairdresser.  When she had finished it, I dropped her off at the door, so I could eat my salad in the car.
With a spoon.  Which I did, without hesitation.
I figured, if my mother swears in church, then by God, I can eat my salad with a spoon.
How's that for reasoning???

By this point, I pretty much figured that I needed to just take the rest of the day off, kick back, put my feet up, say in essence........to hell with it.

So to amuse myself, I took my camera into JCPenney's.  

Money for collection plate
$25.00
Lunch from Panera
$18.83
JCPenney styling salon
$65.00

Realizing that you have more GRAY hair than your 86 year old mother.
Freaking priceless.


Stay tuned.......8pm tonight is the big drawing!!!  You have a few hours left to enter.  You can read about it a few entries back titled February Celebration and a Big Giveaway.
I will post the results here tonight.