Saturday, April 29, 2017
Early in the a.m.
Early morning is my favorite time of the day, but it is also sometimes the most challenging, because I still occasionally wake up with a slammer.
Once the animals are fed and medicated, I sit with my coffee and the heating pad on my neck. For some reason, it helps the headache. It usually takes a couple of hours, before I am operational.
I have accepted that it is just a fact of life, grateful that it is not every day.
Miss Puss has neuropathy like DH.......he thumps down the stairs, if he doesn't lead with the right foot. She thumps across the room, and I can't tell which foot it is that is making all the noise.
Diabetes, both of them.
Roy has days of whining and wandering. Then sometimes he runs across the yard and leaps up on the porch like a puppy.
None of us want to give in to this getting older stuff.
I still struggle with the role of having adult children. Where did my little ones go???? It seems like it happened so fast.
Grandkids make it easier, especially 3+ year olds who scream "MIMI!!!" when they see you, and throw their arms around your legs.
Then again, after a whole day of kids, I am exhausted, and wonder how I ever did that. I am happy, content, then, to have a quiet house, and no responsibilities.
Ah, life is strange, my friends.
You can't figure it out ahead of time, and you can't figure it out backwards. Which leaves us TODAY.
The only day we have really.
In the throes of living with my ex alcoholic abusive husband, one of my favorite Al Anon quotes was this one:
"If you ask God to help you with yesterday, it won't happen. Yesterday is not yours.
If you ask God to help you with tomorrow, well, that won't happen either, because it is not yours YET.
If you ask God to help you with today, then you will get what you asked for."
STAY IN THE DAY.
I used to have this tacked over my sewing machine, so many years ago.
Now that ex is long dead, and I survived.
He used to say, " I will make you, or I will break you."
Every morning, I have a plan. Sometimes it is pretty detailed, and other days not so much.
I am finishing the threading of the AVL, this time in bits ........a little here, and a little there.....my body says so.
I also have dobby bars to peg for my next project.
And I need to get outside to do some yard work. I do it in 20 minute bouts. Once again, bowing to the almighty design of an aging, sometimes falling apart, body.
Then in a couple of days, L and I will be making a 5 hour trip northeast to pick up my NEW TO ME loom. I am so excited.
I know. I don't need another loom. Well, that's what I am told.....but it is not necessarily TRUE.
This will satisfy my desire to play with computerized design on the loom, at a price I can afford. If I don't like it, it will be easy to move it along.
But I am pretty sure I am going to like it, since I play with Fiberworks on my laptop already.
And I just don't have enough dobby bars to keep all the drafts I want on demand.
So having a plan is good. Keeps me moving in the right direction....forward, and not back.
Because there is no going back, I'm afraid.
As much as some days, we would like to try.