Crazy as a Loom

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Change.




Today I was thinking about my hip pain, wondering how come my hip(s) are causing me so much pain.  My mother didn't have her hip problems, and subsequent hip replacement until she was 80.

Hmm, I am not yet 70, and even though that sounds older than dirt, I thought my hips would last longer.

Then it dawned on me.
I have NEVER been kind to my body.  Not ever.

When I was a kid, I went everywhere with my father,  while he was searching out good deals.  He was a dealer of furniture, antiques, and pretty much anything that would make him a dollar.  He was the original "American Picker".  I was his sidekick, and he had me lifting things before I was 10.
My mother was always yelling at him, reminding him that I was a girl.
 I know I hauled on things that were way too heavy for me, because I was always looking for his approval.



I always had horses, so I was comfortable with carrying bags of grain on my shoulder, throwing bales of hay into the loft.  I also got kicked, thrown, and otherwise hurt.

When my ex and I were building our first house, I shoveled gravel, poured cement, insulated, and cleared the driveway with a chain saw.  It was a long, uphill driveway.
I never thought that I was hurting my body.  I was young, and strong, and I wasn't afraid to tackle whatever was in front of me. 
I worked out, lifted weights, ran miles and miles and miles.

I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with being active, but I probably could have had  added some balance to my life.  I could have taken it a little easier.

It's no wonder that in spite of my vehemently declaring I wasn't going to be a production weaver, I ended up being just that.
Big surprise.
So now I'm paying the price.
I tell my three daughters all the time........be kind to your body, kinder than I was.
Do you think they'll listen??
Probably not.

I guess my point here is this:

I've been worrying and fretting and overthinking this retirement thing.
I've been resisting.  Dragging my feet.
When the truth is, that one way or the other, we ALL have to slow down.  We all have to "adjust" to getting older, to our less than perfect bodies.    All my downsizing,  selling looms, making changes........well, it's time.  That's all.

I am working on it, every day.
Practicing.

Like having my lunch on the screened back porch.

Taking the time.


I did some yard work, but then I amused myself and made a "playpen" for the girls.


Gave them a little change of scenery, and some greens.


They were very happy.


One of the Araucanas laid this GIGUNDUS egg.   OUCH.

Is this even normal???  Should I "call the midwife"?



Still cleaning out the "old house", but getting closer and closer to being done.

Then I'll have more time to practice this semi retirement thing.
You notice that I've already added SEMI?
Ha!!

16 comments:

MrsB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MrsB said...

I hate auto correct!

I was trying to figure out your screen porch setup.

But no matter, because having a screened in porch is heaven.

My kitty and I spend 9 months on ours.

A Brit in Tennessee said...

You sound a lot like me when I was in my younger years. Always manhandling things that were way too heavy for me, but never giving up. I had horses so hay bale-toting and being thrown off, trampled on, and even bitten a time or two were just par for the course. I wouldn't have had it any other way. Now in my sixties I have back and knee troubles, I try telling my daughter to take it easy, but with a newly bought hobby farm and recently divorced, she's determined to make a go of it.
I have recently retired, it's most definitely a different pace of life, but I'm enjoying it more and more, you still have your weaving, and your animals so I think your days will be full, and a little time left over, just for you to sit on your porch.....sweet.
~Jo

Susan Harvey said...

Get an x-ray of the offending hip or hips and be sure... and if you are wearing things thin, don't hesitate to consider a replacement. Trust me, that situation does not go any where good pain wise.

I have two THR's now and pain free....
Now knee's are a different matter!

:) Susan

aga said...

Hello Hilary, maybe your GIGUNDUS egg is one of these: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=truDCu1gYqQ or
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-LQeSHV0cI
best, Aga

Sojourner Design said...

Hilary,

I imagine that you'll find that huge egg to be a double yoker.

Diane

518Frenchgirl said...

Good Morning Hilary,
It's a double yolker for sure! Love the porch, you seem to be adjusting nicely. I was taking pics of the rock terraces I built when in my 30s and thinking how badly I abused my poor feet. But, nonetheless, am thanking myself for how nice they look and the flowers that live in them. Started a blog for "my time" as well. So fun to write about projects and wanted my girls to have something to peek at to see what I'm up to. Retirement is great and I just tell myself, "Pace yourself, you don't have to do it all today!"

thotlady said...

I am so looking forward to retiring.

C-ingspots said...

You and I sound a lot alike. I've worked hard all my life, like you said, I too, was young, strong and full of energy. Always had that "can do" attitude. Whether we want to or not, we do have to slow down, learn to have more respect for our bodies and enjoy the slower pace of life. It's that season of life thing...perfectly natural, and perfectly timed. We can still do so much! We just need to do them slower, and more thoughtfully than before. Good for you for retiring!!!!! Enjoy your life, do what you feel like doing, or NOT doing! Guilt has no place in our thoughts - it's a useless emotion. :) I'm 55 and feeling my body want (need) to slow down some. I'm still active, still have horses and live on a farm where work is necessary. But I'm much more careful and can work less now. And I can't WAIT to retire!! I've worked ever since HS graduation and have had 1 summer off in all those years...when my time comes, oh baby, you can just bet I am SO outta there!! I want to enjoy my time, and for once in my life, do what I want, when I want! Such a dream! You deserve it!!!

Theresa said...

I think you really should be learning from Roy about retirement. Looks like he's got it all well in ...paw.
I'm finding that I may not do thing as fast or as much, but by slowing down I certainly get full enjoyment out of the things I am doing.
And ditto on the horses, love them to pieces but their care is quite demanding on the body. I may have timed it right, they are hitting 19 and 20 this summer and we're all okay with just plodding along and enjoying the scenery. :-)

Karen Ann said...

Those eggs happen sometimes.. and it will be a double yolk when you crack it open. It's good luck!

I think you should stop using the word "retirement". You're just modifying to fit your current needs. That's all. :-)

And yep, I did the same dang thing to my young body.. horses, hauling, working in a feed store where I slung MANY a grain bag over my shoulders.. and I'm still shoveling sh*t. I'm just not ready to - modify to fit my current needs- yet. Or something, apparently.

Teri said...

Ya, I thought I would retire early and travel around. I'm still traveling, but I work seasonal jobs along the way. Its not healthy to just sit, either. We all need to work on a healthy balance.

Carol from MN said...

well it looks like you, DH, and Roy are all settling in nicely! Your weaving home looks lovely!

Daryl said...

take a page from Roy's book .. a long walk and a lovely nap ...

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Christine said...

I'm trying to spend more time on the screen porch myself. Mine is on the edge of a ravine overlooking a creek. It is like a superhighway for wildlife.

I was never kind to my body either. I had no idea it would land me in this situation. It is taking time, but I'm slowly training myself not to push through. If there is pain, that means it is time to stop. I've taken up genealogy again as a sit-on-your-butt activity. Maybe you could give that a try. It is amazing how many hours you can spend engrossed in it while being kind to your body.

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