Crazy as a Loom

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Baking and thinking.

There is still some color left in the northeast, in spite of wind and rain.  This is my favorite.

 I decided to stay home today, and not go to the studio.  I know that sometimes I push the envelope, so I wanted to try it another way.   It was raining this morning anyway, so today seemed like a good day to do just that.

Years ago, I baked a lot of bread.  When my kids were little, I committed to not buying bread for a year, and made my own.  Since then, I have gotten away from it.  It doesn't help that the big super markets have bakeries that offer everything, without the work.
But baking bread has been on my mind.  I especially wanted to make my old stand by fave, Anadama Bread.
So since I wasn't rushing off this morning, that's exactly what I did.   I made bread.

My big worry was that I was so out of practice, that my bread wouldn't rise.
I needn't have worried.

Before long the kitchen smelled of bread baking, and it brought back a carload of pleasant memories of a kitchen I baked in a  long time ago.

One did get a little 'crazy' higher than the other.

It was a lovely morning, and when the bread was cooling, I took Roy for a walk.  The rain had stopped and the sun was out.

 I have been thinking a lot about my situation.  The "not knowing" is the hardest part.   I have no idea if the extraneous bone in my head will grow back or not.  The Gortex  may work, it may not.  It may protect the dura of my brain, it may not.  The Alleve twice a day may inhibit the bone growth, or it may not.  I may be able to tolerate the side effects, or I may not.
Twice now, the bone has grown back in four months,  and the headaches have become unbearable.
I guess it is understandable that I feel like there is a huge cloud over my head........will the sun break through, or will the storm return?  There is no way to know.  It could happen exactly the way it has before.  Or a miracle could happen, and it could be different.

It wears on me sometimes.

I am not sure I can even explain how I feel about it.

The only way to deal with it, I find, is to just try to live everyday as if it were the only one I have.
Because it is.
Today I made soup.  I made bread.  I kicked leaves, and walked Roy.
Today that's enough.


Deb said...

You made soup, you made bread and went for a good long walk. That sounds like a good day to me. You just keep having them and stay positive. Sending hugs, Deb

Anonymous said...

You are having MUCH prettier autumn than we are. Or perhaps it's just our road and I need to get further away from home to see the beauty. Pine and cedar trees just ain't cutting it for me this year.

TexWisGirl said...

it sounds like one great day. bless you...

Dizzy-Dick said...

The leaves are beautiful and the bread looks yummy.

Country Girl said...

I have always admired your attitude. And that bread looks amazing. I'm sure it tastes as good as I imagine it does. Beautiful color there. Just lovely.

Mrs. Turkey said...

That bread looks beautiful Hilary....will you post the recipe?
Love the area you walk in with Roy...I could sit on the bench all day and enjoy the surroundings. So glad you are feeling so well.
Mrs. Turkey

JC said...

I can smell the bread from here. And, if that's where you walked Roy, wow. Who wouldn't want to go there.

Day to day is the only thing you can do. I call it pretending. I do it a lot.


A Brit in Tennessee said...

I can smell your delicious bread, there is nothing better !
What a beautiful Autumn day, the colors spectacular this time of the year.
Enjoy your days my friend, I know you will continue to have many more.

thewiildmagnola said...

making soup, making bread, walking Roy, and kicking leaves, is very good.

it is moment by moment, keeping it manageable, i see you doing this well.


Karen said...

A day well spent.. that's all any of us have, if we're smart enough to do it. You go girl.. you just keep going. And.. perhaps stop thinking quite so deeply, because as you said.. this might just do the trick. Go with that.

messymimi said...

The bread looks delightful.

You are in my prayers for many more days of such small miracles, and for the bigger one of not having any more trouble from bone overgrowth.

Anonymous said...

Gortex, I am wondering how that is involved? Your bread looks marvelous!

Devon said...

Today really is all we have right? You have mastered the art of living in the moment... I am a planner... learning to live differently... staying in the now. You are a wonderful teacher.

P.S. That last photo was beautiful! The bread looks great as well!

Shuttle, Hook and Needle said...

One day at a time and this day was glorious.

Rita said...

Bread, soup, dog, and walking in the fall leaves. That is truly enough. :) :)

mudmaven said...

Sounds like a totally brilliant day all around! Am now inspired to bake some bread! Yours look so very yummy and it has been years since I have made bread. Used to make bread and yogurt for kids and hubby's lunches - eons ago! Thanks for the inspiration! ~chris

mudmaven said...

Sounds like a totally brilliant day all around! Am now inspired to bake some bread! Yours look so very yummy and it has been years since I have made bread. Used to make bread and yogurt for kids and hubby's lunches - eons ago! Thanks for the inspiration! ~chris

Daryl said...

its hard not to worry, to wonder ... but you've got so much to think about that is positive ... lets hope this time the 'bread wont rise'

Cupcake Murphy said...

Go away bone and never come back.

Kristen said...

Gorgeous bread! I can almost smell it from here. :)

Tiggeriffic said...

I have enjoyed your blog for many years.. Your bread looked so delicious that I went to the kitchen and made some for hubby and me.. Thank goodness I had some yeast. IT smells so good in my house rightnow.. So glad you are recovering from surgery and getting to do some things that you enjoy.. Have a great Saturday...ta ta for now from Iowa:)

Hilary said...

That bread looks amazing. And your fall colours are still wonderful. Our leaves are mostly gone now

I'm rooting for the Gortex.

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