Crazy as a Loom

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Change is good.

My days are sure different than they were a year ago.  I am not the workaholic that I once was.
It's a drastic change.
Truth be told, I thought nothing would ever slow me down, nothing short of the end of my life.
But then, I didn't plan on brain surgery.

I found some old pictures of weaving from back when I actually was productive.  I know I will weave rugs again, just not like I used to.

I will always be attracted to the color and texture of rag rugs.

Amazingly, I see the value of slowing down.    Suddenly, I will be paying attention, savoring the moments, not pushing myself to produce.   I will be mindful of every throw of the shuttle.
Grateful in fact.
As I find myself getting better every day, I find myself thinking a lot about what I want to do with the rest of my life.
I have been on a strange journey this past year, and it has had a huge effect.

I have been contemplating my bucket list.  I think everyone should have one.  It's just that as you get older, and experience life changing events,  you are more inclined to pay attention to it.
Aren't there things that you love, things that you wish you had in your life,  things you could be doing if you wanted to?  Things that you put off, for one reason or another, thinking that you will do it.........later?
When is later?  
That's what I'm asking myself.

I'm making a list.  And it's not my Christmas list, either.

But a list should just be a reminder, nothing more.  Just a whisper in your ear.


We live our lives on so many different levels.   One thing I've noticed is that I live a lot of my life in my head, in the future.  When today, really, is all that I have.

And today is good enough.



Deb said...

This post is a reminder to live in the moment. Something that I have always had a hard time grasping. Our mind takes us everywhere and it is so hard to slow it down. You know I adore cats, and I have to say that when I am with one I do slow down. Their presence makes me stop and focus on their beauty. I enjoy the moments just sharing time with the feline and listening to the purr. It calms me.I can't really think of anything else that does that. I've even tried meditations and I still go back to the cat. :) Love that you are happier today than yesterday and enjoying your moments. Hugs, Deb

Susan said...

I found myself making a list too after my daughter passed away; which got started with her given me a list to finish (or to do) for her. I love that you're listening to your body and taking the time to enjoy every detail. It really does go by way too quickly. Happy Thanksgiving, XOXO

June said...

One day I'll sit here long enough to go back and find out why you had brain surgery. What a triumph to be doing any of the things you're doing after such an experience (and whatever caused it). I'm just beginning to knit again after years of not, and I'm finding it so soothing, and almost like meditation.
Thank you for your comment at Aging Gratefully. I've added you to my reading list. :-)

Anonymous said...

I think most people spend a lot of their life in their head, and that's okay because just dreaming about all the 'what ifs' may be the only opportunity some people have in life. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all afford to cross everything off our bucket list? *sigh*

Enjoy your turkey day!

Country Gal said...

I to live in my head but we all need to dream I think it is what gets us through life to have hope and wonder and to maybe one day full fill our dreams ! Hope you have a nice Thanksgiving !

Karen said...

I absolutely love that zigzag pattern rug, love the combo of colors and the overall "look".

Live for today, Hilary... absolutely. Now do what you want to do, the future is NOW.

MarthaVA said...

Life changing events will do that to ya. Make you realize that your life is moving on, and if you have things you've always wanted to do, there is no time like the present!
My cousin has a saying at the end of her emails - Each day is a gift, that's why it's called the present.
Do what you can today, don't regret what wasn't done, take joy in what IS done.

MrsB said...

I had an unrepairable aneurysm fixed in 1996. I swore I would work only another 5 years in a job I hated. Money kept me there for 10 years - I retired in 2006 and never looked back - but slowing down has been hard. But, like you, I am learning. I can sit in a chair and hand sew binding on quilts now for a couple of hours at a time....and read for hours now. It took a couple of years to learn to slow down - but am so glad that I did.

Daryl said...

I second that .... and I am drooling over that runner .. if only i had a place to put it... happy thanksgiving ... giving thanks for you!

Shiralyn said...

Wishing you a Great Thanksgiving. We all have lots to be greatful for and I am Greatful that I happened upon your blog family. Your blog has made a difference in how I look at my own life.

Cait Throop said...

Ahhhh, slowing down and a bucket list. Good things, Hilary. The texture in your photographs is absolutely yummy, by the way. I, too, have slowed down. And I'm trying to take the time for the things that I love...but it is a work in progress. Enjoy your Thanksgiving!

claudia said...

Happy Thanksgiving Hilary. There is so much to be thankful for, isn't there?

Carla K said...

Hilary, I have been following your journey and praying for your healing. I have an invisible disability, a really bad spine that some days brings me to the edge, very frustrating to not be able to do what you want, some days sort of ok. You have come such a long way and are on your way to your new life, but life in any shape is something to be very thankful for, Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.

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