I am gaining, but slowly.
You know it's not fast enough for me.
Check out my new clogs, I ordered them from the hotel, on my laptop, the night before my surgery.
Talk about thinking positive.
But I am being incredibly 'good'. I am purposely taking it easy, not pushing myself, not taking any chances.
It's a struggle, partly because I 'want' to be busy, and partly because I have to rest, and I have to listen to my body. Not really my body........but my head and my neck. My body is fine, thank you very much. My body is actually wanting to know what the h.e.l.l. is the holdup, if you must know.
But mostly my NECK is calling the shots here. It is stiff, painful, weak, spasmodic, and generally not very happy, and thus it GETS to call the shots still for a while.
I am not going to post a picture of my SCAR, until it is better looking.
I did hear today that I do NOT have to have another MRI, I am hoping that is because the surgeons are so damn sure of themselves, that they do not need to see what they did.
After that last one, I am no fan, so I am relieved. I also found out today that I can start Physical Therapy to strengthen my neck, 'as pain allows'. Twice a week.
Getting better from a major event like this kind of shadows everything else. I find myself really not worrying about things that would have normally had me stressed.
Money. Food. Business. Weather. What ifs.
They just don't factor in.
I very much dislike FEAR.
You know the feeling, when the 'what ifs' strike?
That feeling in your gut that makes you want to run and hide?
What if you can never move your neck again?
What if they didn't fix it?
What if the you never have another pain free day in your life?
What if this eventually KILLS you?
I will twist myself into pretzel shapes not to be afraid.
Roy has been given me some pointers.
He thinks I should be picking this up faster.
He is such a good teacher. I have given him a nickname: Eckhart.
Cause he lives in the MOMENT.
So all in all, I am progressing. One baby step at a time.
Don't ever underestimate normal. Don't ever think that your boring, everyday life doesn't mean anything? It only takes a little time of "NOT NORMAL", to put that into perfect perspective.
Take boring. Take humdrum. Take normal.
Take it every chance you get.
And don't be afraid.
Take it from Eckhart Roy.