Saturday, August 12, 2017
It just is.
It's been a strange summer in a lot of ways.
I'm exhausted, to be honest.
And I've come to some conclusions, hopefully in my best interest.
People come and people go in your life. Everyone has their own journey, and it belongs to them.
I'm too wise, too old, and too tired to be bothered by it.
We get older by the day, and with age come many things, some good, some hard. Life sometimes
does not turn out in amy way we expected.
There's the SHIT truck................
Then there are beautiful flowers..............
As Sally Field said in "Forrest Gump".........Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get.
At no time ever, are you so settled into yourself, as when you get older. For some people, my mother was one, that meant that she settled in to being very rigid. Because I didn't like that feature about her in later years, I vowed to try very hard NOT to be so rigid.
I try to go with the flow. And while routine is comfortable, sometimes it is good to push yourself OUT of that box.
It just makes you appreciate what you have more, when you come back to it.
I find that some things that would have bothered me mightily in years past, really don't bother me that much today. It's all in the perspective, isn't it??
Hard times, pain of any sort, do make one resilient, if they don't actually kill you.
I'm resilient. I can weather most storms, I think. I can live and let live, I can let go.
I'm ever thankful to Al Anon for these skills, for being able to see that my path is mine alone, one day at a time, and that I am not responsible for anyone else's decisions.
Every day I decide to be contented with my life, right here, right where I am. Every day is special in some way, ways that might appear silly to someone else, But that's ok.
I still have the occasional slamming headache, but it's doable. Really. They occur sporadically, maybe once this week, twice next week, not at all the week after. I am grateful beyond what I can explain, that I do not have them every single day like I did for the first couple of years after my accident. I can function, I survived, I'm here loving what I do. And that's priceless.
My daily life:
I just finished my middle daughter's birthday present, a log cabin quilt, and I am TWO quilts away from my goal to make my three daughters and 6 grandchildren, and DH, quilts of their own, this year. Of course the baby only got a small one when he was born, so at some point I will make him a bed size one, thank goodness I have a little time.
I must admit it is different for me to have a goal not related to "business", i.e. the weaving studio. And it feels really good, I have totally enjoyed sewing these quilts. My purchase of the very expensive Bernina for MYSELF, was a good one. I have loved using it all year. It's amazing.
I just sent a baby wrap to Romania, that's a first. And I'm weaving away with my mechanical dobby, so glad I did not get rid of that whole set up. Now that I know how suddenly the Compudobby can stop working, for no apparent reason, I will keep all those mechanical dobby parts SAFE. At the same time, I hope when the Compudobby comes back from California, it doesn't have any issues for a long time.
Hand dyed cotton warp, hand dyed bamboo weft, going to London.
In the meantime, L just finished a Möbius shawl warp.
My next project is going to be some dish/hand towels in a long warp, in a straight draw. Hopefully, with the Compudobby, I will be able to experiment changing drafts every towel.
So yesterday the sun was shining, today it is gray, and looks like rain. One day is easy, another not so much.
In the end, I choose to be positive, why would you pay attention to the SHIT truck, when there is such incredible beauty in the world.