Crazy as a Loom

Thursday, December 8, 2016

It's a crazy world.

Early morning in Kingsbury.

Tiny little hamlet in northeast New York.

We actually have street lights, which I love.  They are not in front of my house, but I can see them in a couple of directions from my window.
Lately, at night, we often see
 flashing red lights, as the local sheriff enforces the 40 mph speed limit down Rte 4.  We applaud.

I am in my pajamas, and it is barely light out.  I went to bed early with a headache, and feeling exhausted.  I think I slept 9 hours, and apparently that is what I needed.
It is good to listen to your body, especially as you get older.  That's my thinking.

Now I'm eating a salt bagel, with a cuppa tea.  The dog has been out, the cats have been fed, the pellet stove is warming the room.   I plan on relaxing here for another hour or so, reading, catching up with emails.  This is my morning routine, and I love it.

All those years of being out the door at 6:15, to be at work, ready to start at 7:00am.........done.
Who knew retirement could be so lovely.
I look back, and remember that it felt normal, to be on the road in the dark, to hear the gates clanking behind me as I checked into a maximum security prison, day after day, to set up the clinic for inmates  who arrived every few minutes for my entire shift.  Then there were emergencies, fights, stabbings, cardiac issues, sick call, doctor's appointments, testing, lab and so much more.  Patients brought in sometimes in handcuffs, and sometimes leg chains.  Correction officers standing behind you at every turn.  For twenty years.

It felt NORMAL.

Why am I telling you this??  Because it occurred to me, that sometimes the most horrific things are made normal
Not right.  Oh, never.   Never right.
But in our perception, normal events.
And I am not telling you that it is necessarily a good thing.  It's not.

After I left the prison system, it took months before I computed that it was not my life anymore.  I had to readjust to the world outside of that freakish normal.  It was probably not that much different than a criminal who is released.

I watch the news, and I think.  How many people are fooled, that THIS is normal?  Or is this our NEW normal, now??
And then I go do something creative, because I can't absorb any more of it.

My solace is being able to stay home, weave, bake, just be myself.

This was a winner.  Rosemary parmesan bread.  And simple.  And delicious.......I could have eaten the whole loaf.

We had it with some ribolitta, which is synonymous with clean out the fridge soup.

And after two days of fighting with this warp, 50 yards of golden glow is on the AVL, and restocking towels is the order of the day.

My loom should be named "Serenity", cause that's what I find when I weave there.

My conclusion is:   this new normal we are about to experience is not normal.   It isn't, it can't be, it won't be no matter what anyone tries to tell us.
Prison wasn't normal, even after 20 years, it was never, ever normal.

Make your own normal, your safe place, your life the way you know it should be.  That's the only way for me.


claudia said...

I left a "normal" job 63 instead of waiting for the full SSI benefit. Money was never my thing, or else I wouldn't have been in a low paying, service type job. (hardware store Diva, I called myself) All I ever wanted in my life was peace. I took care of my dad the last year and a half of his life, I hated when he died. I miss taking care of him, I miss arguing with him, that was my normal for a while. Now my new normal, in the middle of five acres that belong to me, where I am the "queen" of my domain, I have peace. If there is even a little chaos, I can just step outside and look at my trees, and the peace comes back. This here, this is what life is about...for me.

P2P said...

Love your reflections on what is normal. This guy (#notmypresident) is so deranged, egotistic and frightening that we cannot allow his bullying, irrationality and stupidity to become the norm. I am with you!!

Peg Cherre said...

Thanks, Hilary. For your comments, your photos, and your lovely weaving. That golden glow is GORGEOUS!!

Daryl said...

excellent advice ..and i am drooling over that bread ....

Valerie said...

There's a lot of wisdom in this post. Thank you.

SeattleSuetoo said...

Your wisdom in this post is wonderful, peaceful and serene. I, too, am making my own little space of serenity during these times of turmoil in the "new normal" which is remarkably like your "normal" in the prison system! If we can just attach ourselves whole-heartedly to our passions and our serene places we will make it through anything!

Karen said...

I would love to hear more about your 20 year stint as a prison nurse.. truly, what a career - you could write a book with all that experience. You must have had nerves of steel, my friend.

As for the new normal - #NotMyPresident. That's what it's coming down to for me. Whatever idiocy he's going to wreak all over the place, I didn't vote for him. The other less-than-half of this nation will have to hold that responsibility on their shoulders, I'm wondering when the working middle class will figure out what he's settting up ain't gonna help 'em. - I'm letting it go as much as is possible.. because I didn't ask for it. You know that Charlie Brown scream... AAAAaaaaaaaaaargh. *sigh. That sums it up.

Theresa said...

Oh groan, the "new" normal. Makes me want to run screaming from the room. The other one, he's an "unconventional" candidate. Really? Oh lord please, I could stand for someone who is the old "normal" and conventional !

Beautiful warp!

Angela Tucker said...

I am 32 years into a prison career, but in food service. You are right, no one understands our "normal", except for others that work in that environment.

I try to keep my home as simple as possible, too. I think that because my work life is so stressful, I am happiest when working with my hands, quiet and alone. The feel of merino wool, silk thread. day that will be my full-time normal.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Welcome to my world.

Because every thread counts

Because every thread counts