Crazy as a Loom

Friday, September 25, 2015

Keeping on.

I woke up at 3am, with a crystal clear thought that just wrote itself across my brain.

"Chiari decompression surgery, technical definition:  cutting a hole in the back of your skull to make room for your brain, getting it out of your spinal canal.

Reality:   The day your life changed forever.

Sometimes I swear that I don't really know what they did inside my head.  I do know that it will never, ever be the same.
With that thought, and a smasher, I came down and laid on the couch with Roy for the rest of the night.
Sometimes it helps.  I have no idea why.

Yesterday morning woke up with such a minimal headache, I didn't even think about it, until DH asked me.

That's the way my life is.  I never know, from one day to the next, and sometimes from the morning to the afternoon.   One may be wonderful, the other not so much.
I try not to dwell on it, take it as it comes.
I don't really know what else to do.
And I'm not complaining really, because in the last 4 years, it has been so much worse, with days and weeks on end, with no relief.  So I'm o k with this, as long as it isn't constant, I can find my way.

Because there are still so many things I want to do, and so much joy to be had.  I don't want to miss any of it.  I choose to live every single minute of it.  STILL, I am not giving in to this headache, which I sometimes refer to as this "revolting turn of events".

Like a incredibly perfect day kayaking with my good friend and weaving cohort, L.

In her fancy new kayak.
Making me look bad in my dirty old cheapie.   Snort.

Graced with the presence of a big loon, who came closer than any I've ever photographed before.
He made my day.

And then he was gone.

And the sweetness of grandchildren, watching them grow up.
Loving every single step of the way.

Life is good.
That's what I say.


Connie in Hartwood said...

Thank you for reminding us about the good things in life. It's easy to slip into habits that accentuate the negative. Sometimes, finding positive is a struggle ... but it's worth the effort.

sonia said...

So sorry about what you've been through. My husband has fibromyalgia and is unable to work full-time. Most days are not good and the ones that are seem to have no rhyme or reason. I had been wondering if he perhaps had Chiari but he doesn't get headaches so probably not the case. Wishing you healing and happiness.

Dizzy-Dick said...

Knowing what you have been through, you sure don't let it get you down. You do things that make you happy. You are an inspiration to all of us.

Karen said...

Treat yourself to a new kayak like L!... Really! You deserve it. What a pick me up for next season, I'm thinking.

Mine is not as fancy as hers - it's a necky manitou, but I LOVE IT.

and I love that precious sitting on her pumpkin.

Shuttle, Hook and Needle said...

One day at a time is all we really have. Life throws us curve balls and the best thing to do is find the positive in each simple blessing we are given every day. Sorry for all you have been thru. How I wish the headaches would just disappear and never return!

Daryl said...

here's my two cents plain ... when you lie down on the couch with Roy you relax .. being around Roy is relaxing .. so your level of stress, your pulse/blood flow all slow down .. so the headache eases ...

then there is that gorgeous little grand of yours ..

sue said...

I really like how your shadow is the pumpkin picture of baby Dale.

518Frenchgirl said...

Hilary, You are so strong, it is refreshing that you keep on the way you do. Do I spy red hair on your grandbaby...she is so adorable and that pumpkin, HUGE!!!

Rain said...

I'm glad I've come to know you and your journey...... I'm humbled by you.......I admire far we've had to travel to get just a few short steps from the beginning to what's important.......

thotlady said...

Beautiful photos and granddaughter.

Welcome to my world.

Because every thread counts

Because every thread counts