Next doesn't care for it any more than I do.
When I got to the studio this morning, L had a surprise for me, in preparation for the warp we needed to put on the Toika.
A PORTABLE AC, to keep us from melting while we worked.
Since I had only a few available hours, and she had things to do, we got right to work on it.
It's a good feeling to have it done. Now we have to thread it, for rugs 7 ft wide, and probably 10 ft long. Walking on Sunshine rugs.
Then I went home. I am modifying what I do in a day, so my mother isn't alone.
Roy likes me to go outside with him. Crazy dog, he doesn't like to be out there by himself.
And he sleeps in the "blazing sun".
My mother is getting a lot of company. Roy thinks they all come to see him.
He is an equal opportunity love giver though, he spreads it around.
And then he gets exhausted with it all.
I am somewhat exhausted, too. I am doing more things at home than usual.
Sewing strips for rag rugs, for one thing. Finding closets and drawers that need cleaning.
I am actually surprised at how calm I am about this change in my life.
It seems nonproductive to get upset about it.
I am a regular at the library, keeping myself in good books to read. I have my loom at home warped for tencel scarves in 8 harness shadow weave.
I got my lounge chair set up by the pool.
This too shall pass.
I will work at the studio when I can, and not worry about the small stuff. I have always said that you should do the work right in front you.
Then while I was cleaning out some shelves, I found an old children's book, and sat down to read it.
Somehow, it spoke to me of what's going on here right now, with my mother at the end of her life..
“Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing
that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not
just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'
'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit.
'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.'
'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?'
doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes
a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break
easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.
Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved
off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very
shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real
you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”
It is still a beautiful world.