Changes

Years ago I bought this bookcase.  Bill was going to paint it, way back then, and never did.

So it has been in my living room for years, unpainted.   I kind of got used to it.  But suddenly I decided that it was time.   So my handyman took it home with him, sanded it, and stained it with the same green stain that I used on my picket fence in the back yard.   I had a half gallon of it left over, and I wasn't about to buy something else.

I love the way it turned out.

This was the chicken coop.and for a while, after I cleaned it up, it was a play house for

my grands.  But they live a ways away, and don't get up here that much.  So I decided to 

do a little renovation.

The window used to be the cupboard door in my pantry (which is now the downstairs bathroom).

I found the windows on FB marketplace.

New plywood floor.

The wood on the walls came from my neighbor's little sawmill.

Everything else came from my house.

My youngest daughter asked me what it was for.  I said, it's just for me.

It's a place to write, a place to meditate, just a little retreat.

I left the ceiling the way it was.  I love the tin roof, and one day when it rained,

I went out there and sat.  I was so glad that I had not put a wood ceiling up.

The sound of the rain was incredible.

I had to buy latches, but the windows are great, and they open .

There's a great view of my perennial garden.

Through that door, there is another small room, that was my original chicken coop.

It's just another place to retreat to.   The hammock chair was $12.99 at Ollie's.

New floor and woodwalls in here as well.

And sitting in the hammock chair, this is your view.

This project just made me happy. Maybe it doesn't make a lot of sense to

anyone else, but it made total sense to me.  It just felt good.

And after 6 weeks of PT, my shoulder is much improved, and I'm weaving again.

I am SO grateful.   Weaving is what I do.

Classes coming up.  They are always stimulating and fun, and I always 

appreciate the little extra income.

And I get to do it in my beautiful home.  

How blessed am I???

August

I am not a fan of AC,  but I have given in and turned it on this month.  It has been horrific, hot and humid.  So walking has to be done earlier than I would like, and then it's advisable to stay in the cool house all day.

These are the peacock feathers that I was given by the people who fetched the Megado.

They have a flock of them, and apparently they drop their feathers often.

I love them.

Since the Megado has gone, I have been weaving on the 4 harness Baby Wolf, and I've actually been enjoying it.  Simple, uncomplicated, organic.

These are some of the towels I have done.

For over 20 years I have been collecting Handwoven magazine.   I like to look through them  on occasion, and I often see a reference to a draft or a project in a particular issue.  Then I have to go through my stash to find that issue.

I have done it a NUMBER of times over the years, and I finally said ENOUGH.

I had them all laid out on my sewing table, and I organized them into years.  Then I ordered these handy magazine organizers.  They weren't cheap, but they are awesome.

I am quite proud of myself, and looking for an issue will be so easy from now on.

The grands are pretty busy, but now and again, they come to visit. It's always a little hectic, but always a good time.   Here's my youngest, intent on weaving.   He really did well for a 5 year old.

Lots of my perennials are looking kind of dried up and raggedy.  Too much heat, and crazy storms as well.  

But these little morning glories seem to manage it all.

I only planted one color, but sometimes you never know what you're going to get.

I am trying to use my "inside" time well, organizing, downsizing, and generally trying to live a simpler life.

When I do get outside, I immediately have a stalker.

I have been moderate in my weaving, since I am trying to make my shoulder happy.

So I did some playing with  paper.

It's not perfect, but it's a good start.  I want to make a village.

I have a few really good friends, some are weavers, others aren't.

They are all very interesting people, and that's what I love about them.

But this particular oddity really says it all.

Can I just say that  friends who let this cleome have her way, all summer long, while people step around her to get to the house..................well, folks, that's my kind of people.

Change

Every now and again, I am surprised to see how long it's been since I've posted, and then I frequently ask myself if I should let this blog go, or keep on.

I started it in 2007...that's amazing.   Hard to believe I have been blogging for that long.

I have mostly loved every minute of it.  Someone might ask why........it does seem strange, sharing your thoughts and parts of your life with mostly strangers.

But over these many years, many of those strangers have become friends.  I may not have met them all in person, although some I have, but I have had conversations with them outside of my blog, and it feels like I know them.

And often, I read comments from those who say they are happy to see a new post, that they look forward to it, and that never fails to make me smile.

So here I am, again.

My blog has certainly aged, like I have.   I may not be as vibrant, or as busy, or as interesting, as I was years ago.  I honestly have no idea how many people even read it.

Then I ask myself, does it matter?

I remember a professor in college saying that he was often discouraged, looking out at his classroom, at a bunch of bored, totally uninterested, college students.......but then there was that one student in the back of the room, rapt, listening, hanging on his every word, wanting all of what he was saying.  And he said that was enough.  That one person.   That made him keep doing what he did, keep coming back.

So I guess if there is one person that I am writing to, it surely can be enough.

This has been an interesting month.   Struggling through the heat and humidity, and now suddenly the nights are cool and lovely, the AC off at night and the window open.  Sweet reprieve.

The Megado is gone.  After anguishing for the last year about that loom, I finally let it go.

I loved it.  I loved what it could do.   It amazed me at every turn.

But the truth of it was that ergonomically it did not fit my body, and every time I wove on it, my shoulder felt like it was on fire for days, then weeks, after.

I decided to list it, and let the universe decide the outcome.  And the universe did.

A lady called me from York, PA, and wanted the loom.

She and her husband came on Monday, a 6 hour trip, I oriented her that evening, to the loom, they stayed overnight, and Tuesday morning, we disassemble the loom, and it went out the door, and is now in PA.

The relief I feel is quite impressive.  I think I spent way too much time and energy trying to "make it work", because I really wanted to keep the loom.

Then I thought about how many times I have tried to "simplify" my studio, and thus, my life.  I always seem to manage to complicate it again.

So let's try this one more time. Yes?

I keep going back to that adage.......just do the best you can do every day.

I do try.

More and more in this crazy world, I am comforted by my little corner of it.

I love my house, I love my gardens.  I love this little hamlet I live in.

There is satisfaction in knowing every road, shopping 3 miles down the road.  Even though I live in a very rural area, just 3 miles away there is a grocery store, a credit union,  a gas station, a drug store, a liquor store, a dollar store, a hardware store, a Verizon store,  Subway, and the town clerk.  If I don't want to, I don't have to go far at all.

A couple more miles, there's the  library, a used furniture store that I love, my bank, and an outpatient lab.

I ask myself, what more do I need?

I have decided that as long as I am on my feet, and have my wits about me, I am staying right here, exactly where I want to be, and to be honest, where I belong.  Doing what I love, not being a burden to anyone, living my life, and letting others live theirs.  It really is a simple thing.  It's life.   And I am not going to try to manipulate it, to please anyone but myself.

Well, there, that's a morning rant.

Off to PT again today, braving the heat and the nasty air quality from the fires in Canada.

Maybe the smoke they send our way is what we deserve.

You know what they say about karma.

:)

Bye June

It's been a strange month of horrific heat and then rain.

I have been taking a 30 day self inflicted break from weaving, in an effort to let my shoulder

recover from whatever ails it.

It's been interesting finding things to do, when I really just want to weave.

I had a stash of skeins wound, and a couple of warps wound that needed dyeing, so last week, every day, I tackled that.

I got it all done.

I had the idea to make tote bags out of the egg towels,  and my friend "Ellen" was kind enough to whip me up a prototype!!!!

I love it.

She's got me inspired, so I will be making more.

I've been trying to keep up with weeding the perennial garden, and the little garden by 

my back door.  And cleaning, there's always cleaning.

It's perspective, I find.  Once again.

I wonder if you only stop working on your "perspective" when you are dead.

My cilantro is encouraging me to perhaps grow more herbs and veggies next year.

I occasionally take a walk around my little 1.2 acres

Years ago, my mom bought me 4 trees, and this is one of them.

It makes me so happy, just to see it.

I know that my mother would love it.

While I can't weave, because the repetitive motion sets my shoulder on fire, 

I am still able to do a bit of sewing.

Tatiana, my part time apprentice, comes about once a week, and these are 

some of her weaving.

I love putting them together.

The warp is rose milk, and the weft of these first two is banana pearl.  The drape, the softness, the incredible lightness of the fabric is a amazing.

This last one is ALL rose milk, hand dyed, and it is the loveliest of all, and it is already sold.

My toes have finally recovered from the light fixture smashing down on them,

and Willie and I have done some walking.  Naya stays home, because even though she

thinks she wants to go, when we get out there, she can't go far.  Then she can't jump back into the car, because she is tired, and winded.  I usually take her for a stroll around the property, and she is very happy with that.

Willie LOVES his walks.  I have to use my left arm to hold the leash, but it works.

The last several days have been hard.  Bill died on the 25th of June, and his birthday was yesterday.  So the memories hit hard, and the tears came too.   

It's ok.

It's ok to grieve, and to cry, and  to miss someone.

But with that comes a whole lot of remembering, and cherishing all the time we had together.

A reminder maybe, that change is a constant, and the moving on is the only choice.

Spring and sprang

For a few years, I have lusted over this craft called "sprang", which is pronounced "sprong".

It predates knitting and is usually done on a wooden frame of some sort.

But it has been used in weaving, and the photos I saw of it were so intriguing I knew that I had to try it someday.

So last month, I took the plunge.   

Setting it up was easier than I thought, but the actual doing the sprang motifs was

a lot harder.

I put on too much warp, as usual.

And after I had played with this for a week, I was of two minds.

On one hand I was THRILLED that I had mastered it (somewhat).

On the other hand, I was quite positive that I didn't want to do it any more.

One of the perks of getting older is being smart enough, IMHO, to recognize when

you are done with something, and to be able to gleefully put it aside.

And I did.

I quite gladly cut that warp off the loom, and put another one right on.

Then I started weaving what makes me happy.

Then I hit up my scrap stash of handwovens, and made this vest, which also made me

very happy.

There is really no reason to do things that make you unhappy, if you don't really 

have to.

My feeling is that at my age, time is short, there are no two ways about it.

So I do what I want.

I also amused myself outside.  Years ago, there was an old whetstone behind the old barn.

The wooden parts of it had rotted, but the whetstone itself was intact.

I have always wanted to do something with it.

So I found this old metal frame, that I have used over plants when they are small, 

and in danger of being mowed over, and put the whetstone on top of it.

Right now there is a shallow bowl on top of it for the birds to bathe in or drink from.

But in the winter it will be a bird "charcuterie" board.

It makes me laugh just to say that.

But can't you see it with birdseed, and maybe some fruit and nuts on it, 

on a snowy day???

I wish I could set up a camera......I have to think on that .

I gave up my big vegetable garden, but I kept my garlic bed, and it never fails to 

please.

My yard is a sanctuary, and when I need it, it's there.

I need it often.

                I was walking the labyrinth the other day, and thought back to when I built it.

My grandsons were 8 and 11.  

Today they are 25 and 27.

How time flies by.

The youngest told me then that it was where you find the center of your heart.  I will never forget him saying that to me.

It's part of what makes it so special.  

I think you have to go there often.  The center of one's heart is an elusive thing.

Later then.

There you have it.

I have to say that sometimes this getting old stuff is over the top annoying.

As I am sure some of will agree.

Had two laser surgeries, as I said last time, and there is still some blob of goop in my eye, 

obscuring my vision.  I go for my recheck on Wednesday.

Can't wait to hear that news.

Back to the laser lab???  Who the hell knows.

My toes are still super painful and I am limping like an old lady.

But then again, lately I feel like one.

My shoulder has been miserable and aching on and off for months.  I finally went to 

ortho, who informed me that, contrary to what I expected, I did not have arthritis in my shoulder.

Worse perhaps.  I  have small tears in my rotator cuff.  Apparently as you age, your tendons 

get weak, and that results in damage to other things.

When I explained what I do every day,  I was informed that to help it to get better, I needed to stop doing what aggravated it.

You know the rest of this story, right????

So I am amusing myself away from the loom.

One of the things that I have come up with is this.  Since I have to slow down my weaving, why not look at it from another angle.

Oh, snap.

Here is my brainstorm.

CRAZY AS A LOOM EGG TOWEL KIT

All the colors you need to make four gorgeous egg towels

16 harness loom required

Instructions plus wif file

For the egg draft

$140 plus shipping

Getting them together now

So order early!

I have already started winding cones, and think that this might actually be fun.

I am thinking about how sometimes change can really throw you for a loop.

But other times, change allows you to step back, and see other doors, ones you may not even have thought of.

Back in 2012-13, when I had my head rearranged and my neck fused, I had to make changes. I went from a full tilt rug weaving business, to weaving fine threads, clothing, dish towels, linens, textiles for the home. I didn't know if I could do it. But I also didn't have any choice.

And here I am, all these years later, and I have loved what my weaving studio has turned into, and how it has sustained me.

So now, as I get older, and my body decides not to be the body I used to have, I have to adjust, once again.

Should I just throw in the towel, or should I stand back, and see what appears.

I think you know what I'll do.

and so do I.

Little of this, and that

It's been an interesting spring so far.

I noticed that my vision was suddenly not so great, so I made an appointment with a local opthamalogist.  I usually go to Albany, but I thought maybe it would be a treat not to have to drive so far.

I saw her, and she said I had a secondary cataract, and that laser treatment would fix it, basically clean up the foggy lens.

So I agreed, and 2 weeks later, (end of March) I had it done.

Since them I have this gob of goo in my eye.   It feels like that, and it looks like that.

When I went back for my 2 week recheck, I told her about it, and she said it was just debris, and it would go away.  No worries.

Finally after 6 weeks, I decided to get another opinion.  

So I went back to my original opthamalogist in Albany.

He identified the problem in about 10 seconds.   I have a piece of scar tissue that is "tethered", and every time I blink, it flicks across my vision like a white blob.

To say that it's annoying does not really cover it.

Anyway, I'm having my original doctor take care of it ....laser surgery Tuesday.

I can't wait.

In other news, I am weaving, though not as much.  My body seems to tell me after a while, that it's time to do something else.  So I listen.  I don't like it.  But I listen.

I spend so much time at the loom every morning, then reluctantly move on to something else.

I am also winding warps for future projects, I do them in increments, at my body's request; to date I think I have 6 ahead, kind of a nice feeling to have them all wound and ready for me.

Two days ago, I was in the  front bedroom which I use for yarn storage, and it's also my

winding station.   I reached up to pull the chain to turn the fan on.

When I did, the globe covering the light crashed down and landed on my 3rd and 4th toes left foot.  I screamed.  It hurt soooooooo bad.

The globe was large, and very heavy.  I am just so lucky it did not hit me in the head.

My toes are huge, and purply/black, and very painful.

I am hobbling around, and other than sandals, I can only go barefoot. 

I am currently taking my leisure on the screen porch, with the NY Times crossword, and a new book.

I try very hard to "stay in the day", and just do the best I can in this day.

 What a way to get slowed down.

I have also been reading a couple of my mother's diaries.  She wrote in one almost every day for over 30 years.

Some of her musings are  good lessons for anyone; especially the ones in which she felt very sorry for herself, or she perceived that if someone wasn't in constant communication that she wasn't valued.   She tended to imagine slights, where none were intended.  

As I get older, and I'm living alone, not excactly close in proximity to my children, I find it would be very easy to slip into that same thinking.

She reminded me today, that my life is mine, and eveyone else has their own.

You make the best of the one you have, and you don't depend on family or friends to give meaning to it.

I hope that doesn't sound maudlin, but I think it's true.

Yard chores are daunting this time of year, when everything is getting green at once.

I have a list on the kitchen counter, and I cross them off one at a time.

I tell myself that old line, " How do you eat an elephant?  one bite at a time."

That's how I live my life these days.

And grateful I am to do it.