Change

Every now and again, I am surprised to see how long it's been since I've posted, and then I frequently ask myself if I should let this blog go, or keep on.

I started it in 2007...that's amazing.   Hard to believe I have been blogging for that long.

I have mostly loved every minute of it.  Someone might ask why........it does seem strange, sharing your thoughts and parts of your life with mostly strangers.

But over these many years, many of those strangers have become friends.  I may not have met them all in person, although some I have, but I have had conversations with them outside of my blog, and it feels like I know them.

And often, I read comments from those who say they are happy to see a new post, that they look forward to it, and that never fails to make me smile.

So here I am, again.

My blog has certainly aged, like I have.   I may not be as vibrant, or as busy, or as interesting, as I was years ago.  I honestly have no idea how many people even read it.

Then I ask myself, does it matter?

I remember a professor in college saying that he was often discouraged, looking out at his classroom, at a bunch of bored, totally uninterested, college students.......but then there was that one student in the back of the room, rapt, listening, hanging on his every word, wanting all of what he was saying.  And he said that was enough.  That one person.   That made him keep doing what he did, keep coming back.

So I guess if there is one person that I am writing to, it surely can be enough.

This has been an interesting month.   Struggling through the heat and humidity, and now suddenly the nights are cool and lovely, the AC off at night and the window open.  Sweet reprieve.

The Megado is gone.  After anguishing for the last year about that loom, I finally let it go.

I loved it.  I loved what it could do.   It amazed me at every turn.

But the truth of it was that ergonomically it did not fit my body, and every time I wove on it, my shoulder felt like it was on fire for days, then weeks, after.

I decided to list it, and let the universe decide the outcome.  And the universe did.

A lady called me from York, PA, and wanted the loom.

She and her husband came on Monday, a 6 hour trip, I oriented her that evening, to the loom, they stayed overnight, and Tuesday morning, we disassemble the loom, and it went out the door, and is now in PA.

The relief I feel is quite impressive.  I think I spent way too much time and energy trying to "make it work", because I really wanted to keep the loom.

Then I thought about how many times I have tried to "simplify" my studio, and thus, my life.  I always seem to manage to complicate it again.

So let's try this one more time. Yes?

I keep going back to that adage.......just do the best you can do every day.

I do try.

More and more in this crazy world, I am comforted by my little corner of it.

I love my house, I love my gardens.  I love this little hamlet I live in.

There is satisfaction in knowing every road, shopping 3 miles down the road.  Even though I live in a very rural area, just 3 miles away there is a grocery store, a credit union,  a gas station, a drug store, a liquor store, a dollar store, a hardware store, a Verizon store,  Subway, and the town clerk.  If I don't want to, I don't have to go far at all.

A couple more miles, there's the  library, a used furniture store that I love, my bank, and an outpatient lab.

I ask myself, what more do I need?

I have decided that as long as I am on my feet, and have my wits about me, I am staying right here, exactly where I want to be, and to be honest, where I belong.  Doing what I love, not being a burden to anyone, living my life, and letting others live theirs.  It really is a simple thing.  It's life.   And I am not going to try to manipulate it, to please anyone but myself.

Well, there, that's a morning rant.

Off to PT again today, braving the heat and the nasty air quality from the fires in Canada.

Maybe the smoke they send our way is what we deserve.

You know what they say about karma.

:)

Bye June

It's been a strange month of horrific heat and then rain.

I have been taking a 30 day self inflicted break from weaving, in an effort to let my shoulder

recover from whatever ails it.

It's been interesting finding things to do, when I really just want to weave.

I had a stash of skeins wound, and a couple of warps wound that needed dyeing, so last week, every day, I tackled that.

I got it all done.

I had the idea to make tote bags out of the egg towels,  and my friend "Ellen" was kind enough to whip me up a prototype!!!!

I love it.

She's got me inspired, so I will be making more.

I've been trying to keep up with weeding the perennial garden, and the little garden by 

my back door.  And cleaning, there's always cleaning.

It's perspective, I find.  Once again.

I wonder if you only stop working on your "perspective" when you are dead.

My cilantro is encouraging me to perhaps grow more herbs and veggies next year.

I occasionally take a walk around my little 1.2 acres

Years ago, my mom bought me 4 trees, and this is one of them.

It makes me so happy, just to see it.

I know that my mother would love it.

While I can't weave, because the repetitive motion sets my shoulder on fire, 

I am still able to do a bit of sewing.

Tatiana, my part time apprentice, comes about once a week, and these are 

some of her weaving.

I love putting them together.

The warp is rose milk, and the weft of these first two is banana pearl.  The drape, the softness, the incredible lightness of the fabric is a amazing.

This last one is ALL rose milk, hand dyed, and it is the loveliest of all, and it is already sold.

My toes have finally recovered from the light fixture smashing down on them,

and Willie and I have done some walking.  Naya stays home, because even though she

thinks she wants to go, when we get out there, she can't go far.  Then she can't jump back into the car, because she is tired, and winded.  I usually take her for a stroll around the property, and she is very happy with that.

Willie LOVES his walks.  I have to use my left arm to hold the leash, but it works.

The last several days have been hard.  Bill died on the 25th of June, and his birthday was yesterday.  So the memories hit hard, and the tears came too.   

It's ok.

It's ok to grieve, and to cry, and  to miss someone.

But with that comes a whole lot of remembering, and cherishing all the time we had together.

A reminder maybe, that change is a constant, and the moving on is the only choice.

Spring and sprang

For a few years, I have lusted over this craft called "sprang", which is pronounced "sprong".

It predates knitting and is usually done on a wooden frame of some sort.

But it has been used in weaving, and the photos I saw of it were so intriguing I knew that I had to try it someday.

So last month, I took the plunge.   

Setting it up was easier than I thought, but the actual doing the sprang motifs was

a lot harder.

I put on too much warp, as usual.

And after I had played with this for a week, I was of two minds.

On one hand I was THRILLED that I had mastered it (somewhat).

On the other hand, I was quite positive that I didn't want to do it any more.

One of the perks of getting older is being smart enough, IMHO, to recognize when

you are done with something, and to be able to gleefully put it aside.

And I did.

I quite gladly cut that warp off the loom, and put another one right on.

Then I started weaving what makes me happy.

Then I hit up my scrap stash of handwovens, and made this vest, which also made me

very happy.

There is really no reason to do things that make you unhappy, if you don't really 

have to.

My feeling is that at my age, time is short, there are no two ways about it.

So I do what I want.

I also amused myself outside.  Years ago, there was an old whetstone behind the old barn.

The wooden parts of it had rotted, but the whetstone itself was intact.

I have always wanted to do something with it.

So I found this old metal frame, that I have used over plants when they are small, 

and in danger of being mowed over, and put the whetstone on top of it.

Right now there is a shallow bowl on top of it for the birds to bathe in or drink from.

But in the winter it will be a bird "charcuterie" board.

It makes me laugh just to say that.

But can't you see it with birdseed, and maybe some fruit and nuts on it, 

on a snowy day???

I wish I could set up a camera......I have to think on that .

I gave up my big vegetable garden, but I kept my garlic bed, and it never fails to 

please.

My yard is a sanctuary, and when I need it, it's there.

I need it often.

                I was walking the labyrinth the other day, and thought back to when I built it.

My grandsons were 8 and 11.  

Today they are 25 and 27.

How time flies by.

The youngest told me then that it was where you find the center of your heart.  I will never forget him saying that to me.

It's part of what makes it so special.  

I think you have to go there often.  The center of one's heart is an elusive thing.

Later then.

There you have it.

I have to say that sometimes this getting old stuff is over the top annoying.

As I am sure some of will agree.

Had two laser surgeries, as I said last time, and there is still some blob of goop in my eye, 

obscuring my vision.  I go for my recheck on Wednesday.

Can't wait to hear that news.

Back to the laser lab???  Who the hell knows.

My toes are still super painful and I am limping like an old lady.

But then again, lately I feel like one.

My shoulder has been miserable and aching on and off for months.  I finally went to 

ortho, who informed me that, contrary to what I expected, I did not have arthritis in my shoulder.

Worse perhaps.  I  have small tears in my rotator cuff.  Apparently as you age, your tendons 

get weak, and that results in damage to other things.

When I explained what I do every day,  I was informed that to help it to get better, I needed to stop doing what aggravated it.

You know the rest of this story, right????

So I am amusing myself away from the loom.

One of the things that I have come up with is this.  Since I have to slow down my weaving, why not look at it from another angle.

Oh, snap.

Here is my brainstorm.

CRAZY AS A LOOM EGG TOWEL KIT

All the colors you need to make four gorgeous egg towels

16 harness loom required

Instructions plus wif file

For the egg draft

$140 plus shipping

Getting them together now

So order early!

I have already started winding cones, and think that this might actually be fun.

I am thinking about how sometimes change can really throw you for a loop.

But other times, change allows you to step back, and see other doors, ones you may not even have thought of.

Back in 2012-13, when I had my head rearranged and my neck fused, I had to make changes. I went from a full tilt rug weaving business, to weaving fine threads, clothing, dish towels, linens, textiles for the home. I didn't know if I could do it. But I also didn't have any choice.

And here I am, all these years later, and I have loved what my weaving studio has turned into, and how it has sustained me.

So now, as I get older, and my body decides not to be the body I used to have, I have to adjust, once again.

Should I just throw in the towel, or should I stand back, and see what appears.

I think you know what I'll do.

and so do I.

Little of this, and that

It's been an interesting spring so far.

I noticed that my vision was suddenly not so great, so I made an appointment with a local opthamalogist.  I usually go to Albany, but I thought maybe it would be a treat not to have to drive so far.

I saw her, and she said I had a secondary cataract, and that laser treatment would fix it, basically clean up the foggy lens.

So I agreed, and 2 weeks later, (end of March) I had it done.

Since them I have this gob of goo in my eye.   It feels like that, and it looks like that.

When I went back for my 2 week recheck, I told her about it, and she said it was just debris, and it would go away.  No worries.

Finally after 6 weeks, I decided to get another opinion.  

So I went back to my original opthamalogist in Albany.

He identified the problem in about 10 seconds.   I have a piece of scar tissue that is "tethered", and every time I blink, it flicks across my vision like a white blob.

To say that it's annoying does not really cover it.

Anyway, I'm having my original doctor take care of it ....laser surgery Tuesday.

I can't wait.

In other news, I am weaving, though not as much.  My body seems to tell me after a while, that it's time to do something else.  So I listen.  I don't like it.  But I listen.

I spend so much time at the loom every morning, then reluctantly move on to something else.

I am also winding warps for future projects, I do them in increments, at my body's request; to date I think I have 6 ahead, kind of a nice feeling to have them all wound and ready for me.

Two days ago, I was in the  front bedroom which I use for yarn storage, and it's also my

winding station.   I reached up to pull the chain to turn the fan on.

When I did, the globe covering the light crashed down and landed on my 3rd and 4th toes left foot.  I screamed.  It hurt soooooooo bad.

The globe was large, and very heavy.  I am just so lucky it did not hit me in the head.

My toes are huge, and purply/black, and very painful.

I am hobbling around, and other than sandals, I can only go barefoot. 

I am currently taking my leisure on the screen porch, with the NY Times crossword, and a new book.

I try very hard to "stay in the day", and just do the best I can in this day.

 What a way to get slowed down.

I have also been reading a couple of my mother's diaries.  She wrote in one almost every day for over 30 years.

Some of her musings are  good lessons for anyone; especially the ones in which she felt very sorry for herself, or she perceived that if someone wasn't in constant communication that she wasn't valued.   She tended to imagine slights, where none were intended.  

As I get older, and I'm living alone, not excactly close in proximity to my children, I find it would be very easy to slip into that same thinking.

She reminded me today, that my life is mine, and eveyone else has their own.

You make the best of the one you have, and you don't depend on family or friends to give meaning to it.

I hope that doesn't sound maudlin, but I think it's true.

Yard chores are daunting this time of year, when everything is getting green at once.

I have a list on the kitchen counter, and I cross them off one at a time.

I tell myself that old line, " How do you eat an elephant?  one bite at a time."

That's how I live my life these days.

And grateful I am to do it.

EGGS!

I've been keeping busy, as I always do.   I've done some basic weaving classes, in my new 

class space.   

It used to be my retail space years ago, and then turned into storage for all my "thread", 

until a few weeks ago, when I decided it was time for a huge downsize.

It will  now perfectly  house three students, two  on Wolf Pup looms, and one on a Baby Wolf.  

The light in the morning is great, and when it gets a bit dimmer in the afternoon, I have some great new lighting.  

It has worked out perfectly, and turned out to be a much better idea than the one 

I was toying with, which was to move the whole classroom upstairs.

Sometimes, I find it is best to let a new idea ferment for a while.  I have to resist being

impulsive and getting on with things, like I am wont to do.

I have found, that sitting with an idea, sometimes evolves into something else entirely, and usually it is better.

Like not running up and down the stairs to attend to students.

I found time to get the screen porch ready for summer.  It's amazing how much grit and dirt accumulate over the winter. 

But everything is washed and clean, and ready for book reading and ice tea afternoons.

"The park" which is what my late husband called our expansive back yard, will be

a lot prettier once the trees leaf out.

You remember when I was not so long ago transfixed with the different colors of 

eggs, from different breeds of chickens.  I was intent on interpreting that somehow into my weaving.

So I  did finally make some dish towels, that I tagged as "egg towels", and they flew right out of the studio.  Everyone loved them.

  I used a draft with big squares, and it looked great.

But I kept thinking that I could do better.  An idea began blooming in my head, and I couldn't 

seem to get rid of it.

So here's a new warp going on the Megado, using the AVL warping wheel.

After two days of laboring over it, here's the warp, on the back beam looking very pretty, and very organized, if I do say so.

Threaded and sleyed, and tied on.  Ready for the big reveal.    I spent a lot of time at the computer, getting the draft just right, so that the eggs fell into their respective colors exactly.

I was a little obsessed about getting it right.

Yes, me.

I am very, very pleased and satisfied with the results.

They could not be more perfect.

VOILA!!!!!

The Revamped Egg Towels.

So far all 20 on this warp are spoken for.  

I see eggs in my future.

There are way worse things.

God, I love what I do.

Randomly speaking

Yes, this may be random.  Photos and conversation.

It's the best I've got.

Does this not look amazing????

Whenever I have to answer the question "what is your favorite food?"   My answer is always 

SALAD.

And yes, I am aware that it is a weird answer for most.

Finally after what seems like a very long time, my driveway is clear...no ice.  What a relief.

But the snow persists, at least in this part of the north country.

Even though I live alone, I most often cook for myself.   I mean that I don't eat a bowl of cereal for dinner.

This is a tofu stir fry that I love.

Towel production continues...........

Maybe it's because it's almost spring, or maybe something else, but I have been in a purging mood.

I used to use this hall area as my retail space, but to be honest, I don't really do much retail in house anymore, and for some reason, it totally bothered me.

Clutter.

It made my brain ache.

So I moved stuff, I organized, I got rid of stuff on FB marketplace,

I streamlined, downsized, and now the hall way is going to be my 

weaving workshop area.  

There is plenty of room for two, even three small looms, and the light is 

perfect.

I know you've probably seen my "Naya" cloaks before.  I've been making them for a few

years now.   It is a long sleevelss cloak that can be worn short or long.

Today, my part apprentice, Tatiana, wore the one that I helped her make, from

the yardage she wove here at the studio.

Getting a photo wasn't easy, as she had an admirer.

But I am so impressed with how she wore this piece, and made it 

look like an entirely different piece of clothing.

I love it, and I love her style.

I may need her to model it this way at the guild show in November.

It is sure to be a hit!!!

So I'm keeping busy, trying to stay hopeful in this crazy new world.

Doing what I do best, and keeping my head down.

And weaving, of course.