Moving along.

After the hawk incident, I found myself once again, trying to get my brain wrapped around the idea that you cannot control everything.

At the end of my brainstorming all the options, which I have done before, it came down to one thing:

"Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake.

Unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world, as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

Yes, you have heard me say this before, for a good reason, because it is the truth.

I cannot keep my chickens from getting killed by predators on occasion.   What I can do is every possible thing to minimize that probability.  So far, they have an automatic door, a solar chicken run, rocks all around the bottom of the  fenced in yard, electric wire all around the top.  I lock them in at sunset, every night.

So today, I took my $8 purchase of aluminum cake tins, some wire, some cord, scissors, a hammer, some nails, and I put up a hawk deterrent.

I also have an 18" tall  owl with a bobble head coming from Tractor Supply, as an added

item that hawks do not like.  Predators beware, I'm on a mission.

I did not travel to have Christmas with my daughters.  I erred on the side of caution, and stayed home.  To keep myself from feeling emotional about it, and getting maudlin, I cleaned.  And cleaned.  And organized.  My Overstock dealbuster rug came, and I put it down in the studio.  Naya and Willie will love it.

I moved magazines  and books from shelves down near the floor, to shelves that are more easily accessible.

I dusted and I attacked every surface.

Sometimes the simplest fixes make me happy.

I have a few more areas that are on my list.......I figure I'll have my spring cleaning done before spring gets here.

I have found myself thinking of my mother, who lived in England during the depression, and was in the English women's army, the ATS, through WWII.  Her family was poor, and the cardboard in her shoes as a child, led her to be obsessed with shoes later on in life.   

Until the day she died, eggs, and potatoes were her favorite foods.  And butter.  Lots of butter.  Things they couldn't get in tough times.

I imagine what she would say about all that's going on today.  I think she would make tea and say, hold the line, this is a hard time, but it's not forever.

So I'm going with that.  Think I'll go put the kettle on.

Change isn't always good.

Ok, so here I am back on Blogger........I have had my own Word Press Blog for over a year now, and to be quite honest, I am not impressed.

I get a hundred spam comments every day, and have to go through them to approve REAL PEOPLE, and I find that supremely annoying.

Plus there are many, many days that it is unreachable, and I have to contact the server to see what is wrong.

So I find myself doing some soul searching......and please, feel free to share your opinion if you have one.

I spent a good amount of money getting my web site, up and running with Word Press.  It is nice, yes, it really is.  But it doesn't always work well.   Over the last year, I have had people message me that they can't get on it.  Then a message from the server appears, that if I would just pay for THIS upgrade, or THAT feature, it would certainly solve the problem.

Then there's the facts......which I have to face.  I sell more on FB than I ever sell on my web site.  In fact, the only time I sell a lot on my web site, is if I have a sale........otherwise, getting people over here is like pulling nails.  A web site only works if you can get people to see it.

FB, on the other hand, I have no trouble getting people to notice, to comment, to buy.

And then there's Instagram, which I could do a lot more with, if I were so inclined.

So the question I ask myself is this:   why do I bother with a web site?  It's not like I am at the beginning of a long career of weaving, trying to build a customer base, in order to do mega sales.

No,  I am actually on the down swing here.  I have downsized considerably in the last couple of years.  I got rid of all my rug looms, all my rug warp and fabric to weave rag rugs with.  I stopped doing weaving weekends, because we live here.  I stopped doing custom rugs,  and then after a couple of years doing baby wraps, I stopped doing custom orders for those, as well.

So really I am returning, or trying to return, to the retirement gig I envisioned, years ago.  Trying to have the life, which I have imagined, where I weave what I want, when I want, and otherwise sit and knit, or read, and just basically enjoy the fact that I don't HAVE to do anything I don't want to do.

A few day shows, here and there.......selling things by chance, and not in the full throes of a retail marketing endeavor, which, btw, I have hated since day ONE.

So I think I have answered my own question.   I am returning to Blogger.  I know the argument is that blogger might suddenly disappear and take my blog with it, but hey, I myself am going to disappear one day, never to be seen again.  So I guess that's not such a difficult concept.  And so far I've been blogging on here since 2007.   And God knows, it's easier, and feels like home.

So I'm going with it.

I wrote this a couple of days ago, and then decided to think on it a bit, and not be rash.  Then this morning I get an email from Word Press, wanting more money to fix some issue.  WHAT ISSUE?????   The one where I pay a lot of money for something that constantly needs fixing???   The last time this happened, I was on the phone with tech support for hours, and it still cost me money.

So I just clicked on www.crazyasaloom.com, and SURPRISE, I can't even get on the site, not on my lap top, or my phone.

So yeah.  I'm done.

I will leave it up a couple more days, to see if I can get on it, to tell everyone where I've gone.  I can only hope you will all figure it out.

This is the snow storm from the other day.   Now today, the rain has made most of it disappear.

 60 degrees outside!   

What a crazy year it's been.

No family get together for us this year....staying home......it's raining and the wind is blowing.

Quiet day.....did some weaving......starting to reorganize the studio.

Once again, I am  caught between loving my chickens, and wishing I didn't get so stressed about them.  Yesterday I went out to give them a treat, some stale crackers, about 3pm, and I walked into pandemonium.  A HAWK was in the chicken run, trying to get one of my chickens.....and they were all quite hysterical.  I grabbed a stick and went after him.......and eventually after a hectic few minutes, he found the door and flew out to a nearby tree.  I was so upset, I ran out and made a snowball, threw it up at him in the tree, and HIT HIM.  He flew away. He's lucky I didn't have a gun.

Today, the girls are on lock down, so I cooked a box of spaghetti for them.

I don't know about you, but carbs always make everything better.

I'll probably keep anguishing about keeping this flock of chickens, until something bad happens, and I swear I'll be done.

My web site is back up.

New post:   http://crazyasaloom.com/what-a-difference-a-day-makes/

September is

Yup, my website is still down.  Every time I call I just get the same answer:   they're working on it.

Again, I'm asking myself why I do this to myself?  Is a web site really so important to me???  Does it make me a lot of money?  Do I like keeping it current??  Is it a serious source of customers?

The answers are no, no, and no.

There's more thinking I need to do on this.

Am I the only one who feels like they are in the twilight zone??   

I usually have a focus, I am usually on a schedule, of my own making, for sure, but a schedule nonetheless.   I am usually doing shows all summer, and so I'm selling things, then trying to replace them for the next show.  So I'm busy, in a good way.

Now, there are no shows, so I don't feel that I have to really make anything by any certain date.  So I feel somewhat untethered....at the mercy of whims.  I'm not used to it.  I don't really like it.

So I've moved furniture.  Cleaned cupboards.

I decided that I didn't need or want my stash of acid wash dyes, that are used to dye wool and silk.

They use heat....so you have to steam them in the oven or on the stove.

I hate the whole process....and since I don't dye wool, and I can dye silk the "cold" MX reactive dye 

way......I felt ok with getting rid of them.

 

So....57 lbs of dye left here today on their way to a wool dyer in Michigan.  I hope she loves 

them more than I did. 

Finished up the cauliflower fried rice, with some sesame garlic tofu and broccoli....yeah....it looks so healthy...but the truth of it is, I've been bad lately.......eating seems to be one of the most comforting things around.   I love to cook, and I love to bake, and being home all the time, with no particular goals in mind, it's more alluring than ever.

Then, of course, you have to EAT some of what you've made.

Oh, darn.

Why don't I care???

Well, truth is, I don't much care right now.  Maybe it will pass, but right now, I want to eat what I want, at least some of the time.

There's Covid.  There's racism, violence, there's global warming with fires and floods.  There is hate and division in this country like I have never seen before in my life.

There's such political upheaval, and more to come.

At home, DH is experiencing more and more health issues.  The latest is diabetic retinopathy, with injections in his retinas every two weeks.

I am stressed.  I know it, I feel it in every bone in my body.    I try to quiet my mind, meditate, stop the noise in my head.  

Some days that's just not so easry.

Having faith that everything is as it should be is much easier to say than to do.

I confess to using some retail therapy.........online of course......to make myself feel better.

After several attempts to use a cheap yarn winder, I finally treated myself  to a Schacht swift with a counter.

Expensive, yes.  But it's the CADILLAC of swifts.   I knew it from the moment I opened the box.

I did manage to dye some tussah silk milk with the acid dyes before I got rid of them.

This job was actually the clincher in my decision to do that.

But it turned out well.

Mostly orange, with a hint of red, purple and fuchsia here and there.....it's going on the AVL now.

I have had a slammer for the last couple of days.....they come and they go........I'll be assaulted by one for days and days, then they won't be too bad for a few weeks......

I never know when ...and so far, I still don't know why.....the mystery continues.   To be honest, it's the least of my worries.

What I do know, is that I love my family, and I am willing to put up with an awful lot to see as much as I 

can of my childrens' and my grandchildrens' lives.  

I want to see the grands grow up....I'll take every minute I can, to do that.

Headaches, well, they are just a part of it.

It's been  9 years now.......it sounds bizarre, but I'm pretty used to it.

And look at this face..........  there isn't a headache in the world big enough to keep me away from him.

The most joyful moment in my life is when I go to my youngest daughter's house, to see this one, and the 6 year old and the 3 year old come running at me, screaming "Mimi, Mimi" at a range that would break your ear drum, and throw their arms around my legs.

Priceless doesn't even begin to describe it. 

In spite of everything else going on, I'm still grateful.

And grateful for the good health of my partner and best friend ever, L,  who needs to get back to work.

Well, my web site is down, so I'm posting here, but who knows if anyone will read it here........

I guess we'll see.

I have been on the phone with the server for longer than I care to be, and they haven't fixed it yet.

Honestly, I am wondering why I bother.   Do I really need a web site.......?   I sell mostly off FB, from things that I post, or from people who order something custom.   And in the real world,  before 2020, I sold at shows........but the web site, ah, not so much.

So I am teetering on the brink of saying.....screw it.  I don't need you.

The summer has been productive, if stressful.

The barn is really gone....every last board of it.

I thought I might be sad, but I'm really not.  This is the view from the back porch.

It actually feels like we have a NEW screen porch.....because the barn used to be all that we could see, a mere 5-6 ft away.   

Here's a panoramic view of what my back yard looks like now........from the back steps.  Soon that will be grass to the right of the picket fence, and flowers, and relaxing places to read a book under the trees.

This has been a strange summer for squashes.  This is my take from all that work.  Disappointing to say the least.   I think next year, I will forego that particular garden plot, leave it to lawn, and go to the farmer's market on Saturday mornings.

I've been weaving pretty sporadically.....since there was so much work to do outside.   I have managed to get a few pieces done though.

This is cotton aloe stellina, hand dyed.

I have a new fave salad,  totally my youngest daughter's fault.  She got me hooked on it, and now I eat it practically ever day.

I'm going to give you the ingredients, in case you are so inclined.

A half of a big bag of kale, removed from spines and sliced into slivers.

half a bag of brussel sprouts, sliced thin.

large handful of craisins, large handful of nuts....I used walnuts.

Shaved parmesan.

Couple handfuls of arugula

The dressing is the juice of one lemon, and an equal amount of EVO.

It is better after it has been in the fridge a while, and it lasts for days, if you don't eat it all before then.

On the Louet, some green tea modal, hand dyed.

Some yardage.

After a muddy walk, then having your FEET  washed (humiliating) it's time for a nap.

And what Naya does, Willie does.  Period.

On the food front, again........I found another new fave.   Riced cauliflower.   It's in the freezer section.

I made this cauliflower fried rice....(there's no rice in it)......but it tastes JUST like fried rice......I am serious.

It is just plain delicious.

I don't know if I will make it any other way.

Recipe:  Pinterest.

The tomatoes did a wee bit better than the squashes did, so I roasted some and made tomato soup.

This is another piece of the green tea modal, with a different weft.

I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted, spent.

Too much politics, too much bad news.   I am tired of all of it....social distancing, wearing masks, the worry, the changes in our lives.

I know it doesn't matter, if I'm sick of it or not, as well as I know that I am certainly not alone.

I do the best I can, day to day.  I try to only go a few places.....I stay home.........

My days are so routine that if I change one thing, my dogs look at me like I am abusing them.

They are so creatures of habit.

Lois and I walk, every morning......2-3 miles.......then I work either in the studio, or in the yard, or in the house....there is always something that needs doing.  

I read.  I do the NY Times crossword.

I work.  I read.  I cook and sometimes bake.

I. Stay. Home.  All the time. :)

Do I sound like I'm getting a bit crazy????  Maybe.

Oh, and I take care of 31 chickens, and that's no joke.

And sometimes, I chill with a glass of wine, and I'm thankful for all I have.  For my home, and the safety and comfort of it.   I take a deep breath, and think about what I will do tomorrow.

Home

New blog post, here. 

http://crazyasaloom.com/1961-2/

New post, new location.

Here:http://crazyasaloom.com/so/

Just to remind you all....my new blog site is over      HERE  click on that or

www.crazyasaloom.com   then click on the Blog link

Well, that's a revolting turn of events.

Actually, there are several, right???

So what am I doing over here??
Well, for some reason, I am unable to upload photos to my Word Press site, a very disturbing development, since I have paid dearly for that web site.

So, here I am.....for today at least.....and hope that you find me.

The good news is that my newest grandson has arrived.

He  came into the world quickly, like he couldn't wait.  As you can see he has a welcoming committee.   His brother and sister have been waiting, and not patiently either.

For several days, this big sister wanted nothing but HIM.......she has calmed down finally.  But imagine how exciting it was for her!!
Look at that smile!

My couch finally came back, and it is definitely BRIGHT.   It's not exactly what I expected, the swatch did not show all those flowers.  But it's ok, I think I like it anyway.
My daughters comments:
                                            "Mom, it looks like it could have been on Mad Men."

                                            "Mom, it's you."


Ok, then.

Lois and I started walking on the quite not finished "bike  trail" that is supposed to be going from just north of NYC, all the way to Montreal.  At least there aren't as many ticks, since all the foliage on the shoulders has been leveled.

I am still sewing for "dress a girl around the world", and I decided to whip up my own bias tape.

You can only buy solid colors in the store, and I was wanting something a little more zippy.

My cilantro is growing in the window.

It makes me feel sane.

Because the world outside is making me feel a little crazy.

I have never seen this kind of pandemonium in my lifetime, and I am sure most of us haven't.

I went to the grocery store today, and the reality of it hit me.  No bananas.  No tuna.  No mayonnaise.  No toilet paper.  No paper towels.  Very little bread.  

Soup aisle decimated.

I didn't look, but was told there was NO MEAT.

Not that I cared, but all the boxed mac and cheese was gone.

People were shopping, but making a concerted effort to keep their distances.

All the while, they were filling their carts.........it was very obviously not a regular shopping trip.

I don't mind staying home.  I'm very good at it.  I amuse myself quite well, and always have since I was a kid.  Maybe it was something that went along with being an only child.

I have weaving, sewing, and a ton of other projects to keep me busy.  I'll be ok.

But seeing  all this happening, I, for one,  feel the need for some introspection, and I imagine that many of you do.

It seems to me that while we have progressed in so many ways, we have still lost our way.

Honestly, I am without words.

This, still, makes sense.

 Weaving, I relax, and I let the rhythm of the loom soothe me.

Stay in the day.

More true now than ever.