I responded impulsively to a political post, and went back and forth a couple of times, with an old friend who happens to have a total opposite opinion from mine.
Honestly, I don't ever want to lose REAL friends, that I have had all my life, over FB OR politics. Good grief.
I got thinking about it on the way to my granddaughter's birthday party today. I was just about to deactivate my FB account.
I resent the time I spend on it. It just sucks a part of my day right up.
I am totally annoyed by the dumb, ridiculous political posts that abound.
I hate the graphic posts about animal abuse.
I am tired of all the shared posts with flowery nonsense.
I tried to figure out what the attraction actually is, and why I bother with it.
And of course, if it sucks up my time, that's my own fault. But it is so addictive, isn't it?
Then I went through my friend list, and realized that of 190 of them, there are only about 22 of them that I actually see in PERSON, EVER. And of those 22, 6 of them are family.
Hmm.......so what does that say??
Then I started looking at the plus side.
This morning, I had a great conversation with an old friend, on FB messages, which would probably not have happened, otherwise.
I also keep in touch with my English relatives on FB, and see pictures of their children.
And I see pictures, daily, of my own grandchildren, and keep tabs on at least 2 out of three of my daughters.
And yesterday, there was this post, shared by one of my FB friends, about a malnourished dog right in Glens Falls, with the address, and a photo. FB blew up with comments, and calls to the police, and calls to the local SPCA. At first they didn't do much, but with the crowd on FB growing, and getting louder and louder, and with ONE brave soul actually driving 20 miles TO THE HOUSE, and KNOCKING ON THE DOOR, and confronting the low life owners, eventually the police did come, and SPCA did come, and the dog was saved.
And now there is a LIST of potential adopters, all waiting to hear, if they can take this dog home.
Sniff.
So FB, as much as you occasionally make me crazy, I guess I'll stick around. With a little more restraint, and good sense, and my finger on the HIDE button, I'll post pictures of Syd, and Roy, and Miss Puss, and maybe even Jinksie.
I won't rabble rouse, I promise.
What a GREAT post, Hilary. You have spelled out *so perfectly* exactly why I stick with f'book too - so Thank You for that. Is definitely a Like / Hate relationship, for sure. And bless that little down arrow that allows us to Hide .... woooot !!
ReplyDeleteHilary... When I read the beginning of your post I was thinking of all the things you posted toward the end. It is indeed a great resource to keep in touch with family and friends you might not otherwise see or converse with.. and it is certainly a great voice for helping animals who need it... even if that means occasionally seeing those horrible videos and pics, which you can hide as you choose. I don't see it as a time suck, I see it as a great tool if used wisely.
ReplyDeleteI hope you stick around on FB, as I love "seeing and hearing" from you.
Thanks for taking the "no rabble-rousing" pledge. Considering that the rabble Is currently as riled as I can ever remember, we need all the peacemakers we can get'
ReplyDeleteHilary, I just have to tell you I'm still here and although we are not Facebook friends, I read all your posts and enjoy them. When they don't make me sad, that is. Life is sometimes hard, but when I know there are people like you who create wonderful things in the world, why it lifts me up. There are some posts I've seen on FB that I wish I could unsee, but you have just pointed out another reason (other than family and absent friends) why I stick with it. Sending you LOTS of love through the airwaves. :-)
ReplyDeleteHooray and we'll said Hilary. This is actually my first response on a blog! I decided to go through my friends list after the holidays and actually deleted all but 20 loose connections I had. It was a great exercise for me in drawing lines and consciously deciding who and what I wanted to see, hear, etc., daily. Those who noticed were either offended or confounded. I pled the fifth as I am fairly computer illiterate. I've definitely changed my negative input. It still let's those most dear in and connected. I think your right about all of this...how much we allow fb to be in and effect our lives is really our choice. Love you my friend...on fb...in person...always♡
ReplyDeleteAs you know, I'm kind of newish to the FB scene. Funny how that friends list just grows so quickly. I always feel like I don't want to insult someone by not accepting their offer to friend me.. but then I find that with a lot of them, I just hide their posts anyway. I have zero interest in how often someone plays games or what their score is! For the most part, I jut ignore what doesn't interest me.. comment on what does.. and hit the like if it made me smile or nod. I try not to get into controversial stuff. Stick around. How else am I going to watch baby Dale grow? :)
ReplyDeleteGood evening and well said, Hilary. I joined FB to keep up with DS since he was moving 200 miles away. Funny enough, he and I use our phones more often than FB, though I misplaced him once and was able to send a friend of his out to find him. LOL I have found that I unfollowed several friends as I don't want to listen to the whining. It's not that I have a better life, I just don't overshare. LOL That's what my blog is for. LOL I do enjoy the stitching, knitting and crochet groups, so for now, I stay connected. And I never join political posts...don't need that much drama in my life. Have a good night!
ReplyDeleteYou can have a little bit of control over your news feed by opting out of posts one at a time, with the 'see fewer posts like this'. It takes time, but it has made a difference in my FB experience.
ReplyDeleteFor me, FB allows me to keep up with my daughters and grandsons, helps me get to know cousins that I never knew before, reconnect with friends from long ago, and shorten the getting-to-know you phase of new friendships. Also, I regularly un-subscribe or un-friend people who continually offend me. It's MY news feed, and I refuse to allow it to be anything other than a positive experience.
I have seen a lot of good happen for animals on FB. We have a couple of local groups that post lost/found pets and they are very very successful in reuniting owners with pets, as well as finding new homes for those unclaimed. It takes a lot of restraint not to get into the political crap. As Connie said, I have opted out of several posts and also put people into the Acquaintance group so I don't see their feed unless I check on it. But the connection with family and old friends from days past...well, that's definitely worth it to me.
ReplyDeletei try to spend as little time there as i can .. i also avoid those 'flowery' posts and the political ones ... you will laugh but i try to just post whatever i have to share and click out .. not long ago a childhood friend found me, at first it was sort of fun catching up but she constantly sends me messages with inane videos and her FB page is filled with all those 'flowery' posts .. so while i wont be unFriending her i am for sure limiting contact .. i know i am not a nice person .. but then i never claimed to be
ReplyDeleteRabble rouse all you want, it is who you are!
ReplyDeleteI really tried to get into using FB when it first came out and I just could not stand it and quit. Fast forward a few years - 2 weeks ago I decided to try using FB for my etsy business. Wow oh wow does FB waste my time - I deleted my business page and my personal page yesterday and feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Guess I am one of those people who really is an introvert - I count my true friends on one hand and am happy with that. Not interested in reading other people's opinions or seeing pictures of what they are eating, etc. - I don't like sharing my life details with others as I feel it is none of their business. FB is just not for me. Afraid I sound anti-social but that is who I am and I am too old to start make excuses ;-)
FB is a time sucker, that's for sure. I mostly stick to the weaving groups, scroll past political things, and roll my eyes at the posts that are intended to get people outraged over the littlest things. I hate to see the posts that show abused animals and quickly scroll past those too, though I see now that they can be helpful. I joined to keep in touch with my kids and see what they are up to, I've stayed for the weaving, though sometimes I wonder about that too. I use the Unfollow option for friends that I don't want to unfriend but don't want to see their excessive meal photos or conspiracy theories.
ReplyDeleteI find if I limit RB to 10-15 minutes right after I finish work for the day (I work at home), I'm happier with myself. I "unfollow" those who post things I don't really care about, which limits what I have to wade through, and there are many people whose posts I do care about. I use it mostly for weaving groups and have really enjoyed that contact.
ReplyDeleteOne positive FB story about animals: when my sister's family returned to the US from Sweden, they brought their cat with them. Her daughter married and took the cat with her to Portland, Oregon, where it got out and was caught in a trap set for feral cats. When the animal officers went to examine the cat, it was immediately obvious that this was someone's pet, and very friendly. They found a microchip with a very strange phone number, which didn't work. One worker kept on it and found it was a Swedish phone number - and realized this cat was so important to someone that they brought it from Sweden with them. They called the microchip manufacturer and even the Swedish embassy, without success, then posted a picture of the cat on FB and asked everyone to share. The next day my niece saw the picture and was happily reunited with her cat, Swedish microchip and all.
I have often thought about why I stick with facebook too. I will tell you, it is the hundreds of old school friends who after all these years and hundreds of miles apart have managed to find each other again to share our lives, successes, tribulations, and sorrows. I believe that FB and all it's parts have helped me through a dreary and literally depressing winter that I have spent basically alone 900 miles from my home.
ReplyDeleteI see my family there and smile with them as they celebrate great nieces and nephews, sisters, BILs all our family friends. And of course, my friends I left behind.
And those political things? I read everyones' opinions and reasonings and listen to the debating amongst friends and family, it helps me learn. Yes, it sucks my time away, but I go on when I would be sitting and watching TV or playing games on the computer anyway, so I feel it is okay.
FB gets under my skin, mainly because it IS so addictive, ant who has the time to keep up with every little twist and turn and everyday comings and goings of people, who in real life wouldn't knock on your door or share the time of day...
ReplyDeleteHowever, the starving dog story keeps me staying a fan, mainly because I have reunited several pets that were Lost and Found back with their owners and the power of more eyes helping get the word out is priceless.
Thank you for your kind comments.
~Jo