The size of things

I have had a questionable relationship with food.  My appetite has always been hearty to say the least.
I was always very active, so it was never an issue.  I ran, I worked, hey, I was YOUNG.

For many years, I didn't notice it, my metabolism seemed set high enough to burn off what I put into my body.  But as I got older, I began to get the extra weight around the middle, and Lord have mercy, I looked "matronly" even to myself.
I avoided mirrors.
My profession somewhat contributed to my gain of weight over the years.  As an RN for 30 years, I wore scrubs, and because I worked in a prison, I made sure they were as baggy and loose as I could get away with.  Let's just say it was easy to ignore those extra pounds.
 I would appease myself by telling myself that I was no where near as overweight as that enormous person I saw at the grocery store.
But does it matter, really?
I knew, and have known, for some time, that I needed to lose it.
Seven years ago, I did.  I went to Weight Watchers, and dropped 20 lbs.  I felt great, got into all my clothes for the first time in a long time, and was quite proud of myself.
But it has creeped back on, plus another 5.  My excuse, probably not a bad one, for the last 2+ years, was that I couldn't deal with the headache, AND a diet.  It was just too much to ask of myself.

There were times, when my headache was so bad, I sent DH out to buy a bag of Cheetos for me. A big bag.
It didn't help the headache, but it made me happy regardless.
I didn't share either, by the way.
Being a vegetarian does not mean that you will get thin...in fact, I find that I eat more carbs than I ever did, to make up for it.  Not good.  Not good at all.  Occasionally, I consider eating meat again, but I just can't get myself there either.

I have researched so many options.  The internet is full of diets, and plans, and theories. But since WW worked for me before, I see no reason why it won't work again.  The trick, for me, is not to think about it as a diet, but as a change in life style.  It is about being cognizant of what I put into my mouth.
My daughter said that she read someplace that exercise is just the tip of the iceberg, the bulk of the issue is what you eat.  I believe that.
I know that I don't want to get obsessed with some new fad that won't last.

Since I am not a meeting person, I joined WW online.  There's a free APP for my phone, and I can track what I eat, and find points values no matter where I am.  I have been doing it for three weeks, and I have lost 10 lbs.  It works.  And honestly, it really isn't that hard.  It is just MINDFULNESS about food.  
I still go out for pizza on Friday night.  I just PLAN for it.  No more willy nilly, eating whatever is in front of me.
Paying attention.  That's my game.
My 50th class reunion is this summer.  My lifelong friend and I have decided that we are going to look "mighty fine" for our age.  Not to impress anyone else, hell no.  Just to impress ourselves.
Just to feel really good about our weight, for once.
I am also tempted to buy (5) 5 lb bags of sugar, and put them somewhere  where I can see them often.
Because that is what I've been carrying around.  10 down, 15, maybe 20, to go.

What really clinched it was a photo that my daughter and I took while I was in Florida.  We were sending it to my son in law, to make him feel bad that he wasn't there, in the sun, drinking his favorite beer, Kalik from the Bahamas.

Against every fiber of my being, I would much rather ERASE it.........I am going to share this photo with you.......because in a few months, I am going to be sharing a photo of me WITHOUT that spare tire.
I PROMISE.
 Nothing like putting yourself out on a limb, eh????

 Yup, I am ok with getting older.  What point would there be NOT being ok with it?
And I don't mind the wrinkles, and the hair getting whiter by the day.   I put up with the achy joints, I know that's just part of the whole picture.
But the ghastly weight around my middle......well, I don't have to put up with that.  THAT, my friends, is up to ME.

I am on a mission.

I may be getting older, but I am also getting thinner, if it's the very last thing I ever do.

Stay tuned.

And no, I am not a big beer drinker.  I would never give up points for that.