Next doesn't care for it any more than I do.
When I got to the studio this morning, L had a surprise for me, in preparation for the warp we needed to put on the Toika.
A PORTABLE AC, to keep us from melting while we worked.
Since I had only a few available hours, and she had things to do, we got right to work on it.
It's a good feeling to have it done. Now we have to thread it, for rugs 7 ft wide, and probably 10 ft long. Walking on Sunshine rugs.
Then I went home. I am modifying what I do in a day, so my mother isn't alone.
Roy likes me to go outside with him. Crazy dog, he doesn't like to be out there by himself.
And he sleeps in the "blazing sun".
My mother is getting a lot of company. Roy thinks they all come to see him.
He is an equal opportunity love giver though, he spreads it around.
And then he gets exhausted with it all.
I am somewhat exhausted, too. I am doing more things at home than usual.
Sewing strips for rag rugs, for one thing. Finding closets and drawers that need cleaning.
I am actually surprised at how calm I am about this change in my life.
It seems nonproductive to get upset about it.
I am a regular at the library, keeping myself in good books to read. I have my loom at home warped for tencel scarves in 8 harness shadow weave.
I got my lounge chair set up by the pool.
This too shall pass.
I will work at the studio when I can, and not worry about the small stuff. I have always said that you should do the work right in front you.
Then while I was cleaning out some shelves, I found an old children's book, and sat down to read it.
Somehow, it spoke to me of what's going on here right now, with my mother at the end of her life..
“Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing
that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not
just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'
'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit.
'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.'
'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?'
'It
doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes
a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break
easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.
Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved
off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very
shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real
you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”
It is still a beautiful world.
I love the Velveteen Rabbit. What an appropriate passage, Hilary.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, it is still a beautiful world. And if you run out of closets and drawers to clean, mine are available ;-)
ReplyDeletejj
Ah yes, The Velveteen Rabbit...Thank you for a beautiful practical post about acceptance and living in the space that you are in. I needed to read this today, probably everyday...and do what is right in front of me. And I love your Roy. He just has it down. Have a wonderful day.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I needed this today. ~chris
ReplyDeleteYou...Are...Awesome...
ReplyDeleteThinking a lot about my Mom yesterday-I saw an older woman in the market who looked nothing like her but there was something that just made me tear up- some expression or a je ne sais quois -Sending you a GIANT hug!
I love this.
ReplyDeleteYou say what our heart wants to hear. I know first hand being there for my Mother when her time was drawing close.. Still miss her like it was yesterday and it has been 15 years. Even though this is a sadbtime hug her and love her while she is right in front of you.. I would give everything for one last hug. As always prayers coming yor way.
ReplyDeleteSometimes we come across the right thing at just the right time. It's the wise and opened minded that can recognize that. I'm glad you found and connected to the Velveteen Rabbit when you did.
ReplyDeleteRoy.. how I love that boy. What a sweetheart he is. And that darling munchkin face in the last image. My heart is melting. And it's only partly because my central air died yesterday. I am coveting your portable A/C unit.
Velveteen Rabbit never fails to tug at my heart .. stay as cool as you can ...
ReplyDeleteRoy is a lot like our cat Jack .. he thinks everyone comes to see him and he expects to be greeted as soon as you walk in the door!
I missed out as a kid, I guess. Never read that book. Lovely!
ReplyDeleteRoy and Karma both love to sleep in the heat. I'll never understand how they can enjoy that with all that fur.
No need to borrow trouble. It comes soon enough. ;)