A little reality check.

Sometimes, when things are going fairly well, and the headache seems manageable, I slip slide into my old busy-ness.  It seems so right.

This morning, I was weaving on my new purple towel warp, in waffle weave. I was zipping right along, having found my groove.
I felt good, really good.  In fact, at one point, I thought about how "minimal" my headache was, and almost gave a "hallelujah".
It would have been premature.
For sure.

Unfortunately, this pattern work keeps my head down, watching what I am doing.  No mindless throwing of the shuttle, glancing down only occasionally.  Nope, I was intent.

And after a while, too long I fear, "me NECK" just suddenly went as stiff as cement, and the pain was immediate.
Within 5 minutes, my headache was full tilt, and nauseating.

I only tried to avoid the inevitable for about 10 minutes or so......and then I came home.
I know the drill.

Roy was waiting for me.  He immediately gets under my arm on the couch, and sits with his face leaning on mine.  And no matter how many times I tell him not to lick my face,  he still occasionally tries to.
Then he yawns that exaggerated yawn, that is both primordial and expressive.  I have yet to figure out what it is he is thinking.
Hot tea, heated Rice Pack on back of neck, Motrin, laying back with eyes closed, contemplating the situation.
Little voice says: "This is a revolting turn of events."
Which makes me smile.

What???  you don't have a little voice?

I don't believe you.  It's that one that Eckhart tells us not to listen to.
You know the one.

A little Sunday nonsense.

Still cold here, but supposed to start warming up tomorrow, even with freezing rain, I'll take it.

I am infused with hopefulness, and positive thoughts about the future.

Sydney says:
HUH?

 

I got my next towel warp on the loom.  It wasn't easy.  Because my neck is so stiff and painful........hmm, must be those titanium rods........I threaded it over several days, where I would usually put the warp on and thread it in one day.  No more.  NEW NORMAL.

It is a waffle weave in shades of purple.

Do you like it?

 

I will eventually have all big looms out of the living room, because  I would prefer to use it for small, portable looms, and classes.

But for today, I did some moving around that did not involve taking the Hammett apart.
That will come later.

It does look better though.

Room to move around, and less clutter.

I took time to drink my banana, blueberry, protein shake in front of the stove.

For some reason, I never get tired of looking at this $2 find in a thrift store.

Just goes to prove that you sometimes don't have to spend a lot of money.

I moved one chair to another room, to give me some space, for now.

 

When I was a kid, I would often come home to the furniture moved all around.  My mother was a great one for trying out different spots for things.

So I guess now it comes naturally.

 

As long as there is room to "LOLL" by the fire, the "girls" don't care.

 I have always loved the floors in this house.  I am so glad I didn't listen to the advice I got to NOT strip years of brown paint off them.

 

Now here's a mystery for you.

My daughter texted me this picture......her friend has it in the barn, and no one knows what it is.

I said, "I bet my blogging peeps know".....so don't let me down here.

 

Affirmation

Life is good.  Inherently.  Good.

  

No matter what befalls us, there is joy around every corner.

 

Something we didn't look for, didn't ask for, never expected.
Joy.
A smile so deep you can feel it deep in your gut.

A piece of us, that sustains us, and makes us who we are.

Have you noticed that most of those moments involve the people you love?
Not money, not stuff, not our wish list.
People.We. Love.


Climbing a mountain, reaching the top.
Finding out you have it in you.
Joy.
Sharing it.
With someone that matters.

 

It's not perfect, this life.   

Sometimes it's sad, and sometimes it's unfair.

But then sometimes it's so perfect and beautiful that we are lost for words.

 Yes, on occasion, I wonder why I have had this challenge of the headache, the surgery, and what has followed, and what's to come.

But MOSTLY, I am just so grateful.  For all of it.  Every day, and every moment, painful and otherwise.

Cause the "otherwise" just makes my heart sing.

And these three, well, they are rock stars to me.
It's a beautiful life.  For sure.

That's the question.

Split finger tips, dry skin, scuttling from one heat source to another.
Winter.
Gotta love it.

Here's my theory:
We have two houses. TWO.
The one we live in, and the studio.
They are both situated in middle of the DEEP FREEZE.

I think we need to sell the one we live in.
Then buy a small place somewhere warm........just not Florida.
I am not a fan of Florida.

But Georgia, South Carolina........both of them .......right THIS MINUTE..........are FORTY degrees warmer than it is here in northeast NY.  And both of them will be 68 degrees next week.
Hallelujah.

Then we could live at the studio from mid April to Thanksgiving, and then GO SOUTH for the WINTER.

 

 I could take a couple of looms with me.
L can handle the studio...in fact, she would probably love the peace and quiet.

My mother?   GET IN THE CAR.

 

Roy is happy as long as he is wherever we are.

 (Christa, this is the slub yarn, 85% rayon, 15% silk)


So what is the problem, you ask?????

When I bring this subject up, DH looks at me as if I have just suggested we take a trip to Mars.
He is resistant to change, and apparently would rather deal with frigid temps and what seems to be an endless winter.
My question is this:  if you don't live your wild and precious life NOW, then when will you?

 

Don't ask why we have TWO 31"x99" hemmed runners.

DON'T ASK.

(I won't tell, L, I promise)

 

 So I guess I will have to just go south without DH.  I can send him lots of photos of Roy and I laying in the sun.
I'll take Roy.  I'll take my headache.
Do you think he'll keep my mother?  That sounds fair, don't you think?

Taking the day, every day.

I won't lie to you.
My head does NOT like this deep freeze we are experiencing.  I don't even want to walk Roy when the sun is shining, it's that cold.

I wake up in the morning, and swear to God someone smacked the back of my head with a large stick.
Luckily for me, I am fiercely stubborn, and pig headed, and resistant to being bossed around, even by a smashing headache.
I know, a lot of people would just stay in bed, or lounge around in their bathrobes watching TV all day.

Uh, no.  Not me.
I order myself out of bed, and to the shower, where I stand eyes clenched letting the steamy hot water run on my neck.  I eventually end up downstairs making tea, dressed and ready for the day with a bit of an attitude: damnyouheadacheyouarenotthebossofme.
Eat cereal immediately, so I can put Motrin down my pie hole without getting sick, drink hot tea,  put my fave herbal rice pack that has been in  the  microwave for 3 minutes right on the back of my neck.
And then I am very, very still for just as long as possible.
And slowly, very slowly, my reward comes.  The headache backs off just a bit, and then a bit more.

It never really goes away.
But Jimmy crack corn and I don't care....if you know what I mean.  This is my life, and it may not be perfect, but damn, it is my life, and I am going to proceed, headache in hand if you will.  If that's the way it has to be, then so be it. 
I can do this.
(repeat several times for effect)

My friend, Bonnie, and I went to Trader Joe's today, about 50 minutes away.  She and I are both vegetarians, and like a lot of the same foods.
It was a real treat.  I bought so many cool things to eat, I don't know where to start.

I also bought my mother some flowers, just to cheer her up.

I decided to take the whole day off, all of it.  So we went to lunch at my fave place, the Rockhill Bakery, and then I came home to knit in a sunny window.

My cohort, is usually nearby.  VERY nearby.

That's not to say that wanting to be warm doesn't make him just a little fickle.   And my mother has a stove that he warms up to.

But he'll be back.  Cause he loves me more than that old stove.

The Rug that L made.

Loom warped, 8'x10' rug woven by L.

I cut the fabric, and when she was done, I tied the fringe, and sewed the three pieces together....but L made the rug.
Her first SOLO BIG RUG ORDER.
WHOO HOO.

Have to put this in her employee folder.
Ha!

It did turn out quite nicely, didn't it?? It went to a penthouse in Manhattan.
I'm serious, it really did.

Today I had a student.  It went well.

She has done a little weaving on her own, but runs into trouble when warping.  She didn't have any trouble today.

There is nothing quite so satisfying as a well wound warp.

You asked about Next and Nuff..........and their new shelter.....when it's warmer they sit in their respective chairs, but now they have  a nice wind break with the heated pad.

 

Fifty one days until spring.

Who's counting.

 

Brrr.

Ah, yes, it's cold.  Too cold. And I've worried and worried about Next and Nuff.........but in their own cat stubborn "know it all" way, they resist coming in the house.  So today, I'm looking out the window, at their box on the porch, and it occurred to me that there wasn't much to stop the wind, and that maybe we should have put it in a more sheltered place.

L, the cat hater, listened, and then in her best cat hater fashion, took a ride up the road to a local farm, and made THREE trips back and forth with a bale of hay in the back of her Subaru each time.

Now their box is surrounded on its exposed three sides, with sturdy bales of hay, and there are a few heavy rugs on top of it, and the heated pad inside.
Now if they will just curl up together,  they can stay warm. 
I will probably still worry, but not so much.
Thank goodness for  Aunt Lois  the cat hater.


                                                                (Next on a rug in warmer days)


Life around here is pretty exciting.

I spent quite a bit of time organizing my knitting needles.  They were in a jumbled mess in a big box, and I finally had enough of searching for the needles I needed.
I probably have every size anyone would ever need, in straight needles, circular needles, and double pointed needles.  But they don't do me much good when I can't find them.

I think it's winter, it makes me zero in on junk drawers, and makes me want to live a more minimalist life.
I am half way through my books and saved magazines.
My kitchen cupboards are next.

I recently realized that when I do my own laundry of jeans, long sleeve shirts and under wear, I do the same clothes over and over.   I do the laundry, wear the same clothes the next week, and then do the laundry again.  I am so NOT a clothes horse.  That bit of information inspired me to go through my closets and my dresser, and bag up a LOT of clothes that I haven't worn in longer than I can remember.
I also matched all my socks, and threw out all the ones with holes.  What I found out is that I really have plenty of socks, now that I can find them.
Now I know this is probably driving you wild with excitement, but hey, it's winter in New York.

And before I bore you to tears, I'm going to go drink my hot chocolate, before it gets cold.
Staying warm is my Number ONE priority.

A day in paradise.

Can you call two friends knitting, a "Knit In"??

Well, we did call it that, and it was perfect.
A perfect quiet day,with my bff.



On the ride there, I can feel the stress leaving my body.
A sigh escapes me.

As we sat and knitted, the birds made a ruckus at the bird feeders, the brook icy cold in the background.

The warmth of the fireplace was  beyond lovely, and the occasional whiff of wood burning was nostalgic to me.
My friend's house is bathed in beautiful, restorative, sunlight.

While my friend occasionally grumbles about the lack of cupboards, the thought of chopping veggies on this countertop in this open, sunlit kitchen is very appealing.

There is a flow to her little house, and such a good feeling.  It is tastefully decorated, accidentally or otherwise, everything is just right.

The quiet is what I miss most about my own life.  I remember living like this, and there is really nothing quite like it.
It will always be in my heart, and it will always be what I aspire to have once again.
Someday.

We chatted away the rest of the morning, had a gourmet lunch of home made black bean soup, and puff pastries with broccoli, onions, and mushrooms.  Then over tea, we chatted away the afternoon.
After accepting me into their domain, Winnie (left) and Topsy (right) slept in the sun.  Like Roy, Winnie snores.

There is something so peaceful about a home with dogs and cats lying around in total peacefulness.
They are all loved, and they know it.
And it's all good.

Topsy, you may be needy, but you're very sweet inside.

Outside, sunflower seeds attracted the flock.

There are times that I am confused about what I am missing, and about what I need most, and about what makes me happy.

This was a simple, beautiful reminder, that it's not that complicated, at all.