Pristine

From Crazy as a Loom

Finally, Friday evening. I am not sorry to see this week go by.


I had big plans for this past week. But you know what they say about making plans.
I thought I heard someone laughing.
I debated whether or not to blog about this, but in the interests of women who are over 40, I decided that I would. Maybe it will help someone, and if so, it is worth telling.

I have just about gotten over the shingles episode, and was looking forward to better health. But on Monday, on the way to the studio, I realized that I had some pretty significant jaw pain.
Hmm.
Both jaws. And some chest discomfort that went through to my back.
Well, I must admit that I am not bright enough to be really scared, and nurses are only beat by doctors as the world's WORST patients.
So in that vein, I wove a couple of rugs.
But the pain persisted.
And eventually, I called a friend, another nurse. I ran this all by her, and she said, 'you know what I am going to say'. I said, yeah, but I needed to hear it anyway.
So I drove myself to the ER......but first I packed up 5 boxes of rugs to go to California.

They were apparently quite impressed at the ER, because they snaked me right into a room, and began the oh, so familiar routine for possible heart attacks. IV, chest xray, EKG, lab, Baby aspirin, and finally a nitro under your tongue. Which incredibly, made the pain go away. Completely.
I was admitted for observation, and so they could draw the cardiac enzymes twice more later in the day. They would show whether or not I'd had any heart damage.
I was not a happy camper. You know I don't have time for this. And I totally resent anything that infers that my body may actually be aging.
Crap.
Yes, sometimes, I think I am 12. But my damn body keeps reminding me that no, I am not really 12. Not even close.
After a pretty sleepless night, which I won't even describe, I was ready to go home. My EKG's had all been normal. My labs were normal. I wanted out. I had things to do.
Then the cardiologist came in, and he had different ideas. Way different.

He figured that the atypical jaw pain, that was relieved by nitroglycerin, was too dangerous a combo to ignore. He was not convinced that I didn't have a blockage somewhere, that just hadn't caused any damage yet. So, in his opinion, the only way to get to the bottom of it, was to do a cardiac cath.
Do you think he heard my teeth grating??
But as bad as a patient as I am, the nurse in me heard him clearly. I knew that if the tables were turned, I would say the same thing, with a lot less education behind me.
So I said OK.
Within a couple of hours, I was in the cardiac lab, chatting it up with a student nurse who asked me if she could go in with me. Every cell in my body was saying, just get up and get the hell out of here. But I didn't. I was a good girl, and did what I had to do.
They always say that you will be awake, just groggy. Yeah, alright. I am always OUT. 2mg of Versed is a dream ride for ME. I guess you could call me a cheap date.
Anyway, when I woke up, the doctor looked down at me, and so sweetly said, "your heart is clear, in fact, it's pristine."
PRISTINE.
And after laying flat for 2 hours, and waiting another three hours for discharge, I was on my way home.
They still have no idea where the jaw;chest pain came from, so now it is off to the GI doc to see if they can find the source.
But at least it is not my heart. In spite of my mother's pretty significant heart disease, and plenty of cardiac problems on her side of the family, my heart is PRISTINE.
God, I love that word.

But the fact is, women present differently than men. They don't always experience the crushing chest pain, the sweating, the nausea, that men do. Jaw pain, arm pain, fatigue, just not feeling very well........all these symptoms can herald a serious heart attack for a woman.
It could have turned out quite differently. But even if I had a blockage, paying attention, and doing the right thing, even though it inconveniences the hell out of you, offers you options like stents, and bypass surgeries, that will save your life.
The cardiac cath slowed me down to a snail's pace, compliments of nagging DH. Who loves me.

So there you have it. Nothing accomplished at the studio all week. I haven't done a thing all week. I have nothing to show for it, unless of course you count "pristine".



I have recently asked questions of you who visit my blog.
First, about friendships. Let me say that your very different perspectives, and thoughtfully written comments were helpful. Sadly, some things just evolve, and are what they are. In any relationship, you can only be responsible for yourself. And then, you must be honest about how you feel. If two people can't sit down, and talk about their issues, especially when it involves trust, then what is there, really?
Speaking of trust.

From Crazy as a Loom

Secondly, the scooped out boards, that were my cellar stairs. I LOVED your ideas, and want to use them all. I am still mulling it over, but will probably not do anything until I can get them all outside with a scrub brush and the hose. They are dirty with 200+ years of feet tromping up and down. I can't imagine that cleaning the cellar stairs was a big priority. So they are pretty horrific. But keeping them, and giving them new life, maybe something brighter than the dim basement, sounds perfect to me.


Tonight, the first night of the Olympics, and tomorrow, back to work.
I am not good at this slug role.
Not good at all.