dead of winter

While looking around the studio today, thinking about writing something for my blog, I came across my favorite small knitting project; there are several of these little scarves hanging in different places. And I realized that other than the birds outside my window, who are busily eating the ton of food I put out there, winter is pretty dull around here. It is just a constant vigil to keep everything warm, thawed out, shoveled out, and working in this awful cold. My son in law is a radio host for an Albany station, and he called it "stupid cold". I guess that about says it all.
Anyway......I will gladly send anyone this pattern, if you like it. It is an old pattern, the grandmother of a friend of a friend......that kind of thing. I can make one in an evening, and it is very cool. It just covers your neck nicely, and loops through itself. Takes only 2 oz of worsted, and is done on 8 needles. I use 3 double pointed needles. You just have to use really soft yarn, because it is wrapped closely, and if it itches, it would probably lose its charm. I sell a lot of them, so I guess they appeal to those who don't want a long scarf hanging. Which would be me......
Anyhow, here we are....January getting closer to its end....February looming.....no pun intended. I am getting organized for 2009, and it feels good. Inventory on the computer, at last, and days in front of me that look promising for stocking the shelves. Thinking about shows, and debating whether to do some, or few, or none at all. Assessing how to spend advertising money, and how much. Promoting my web site, and tweaking it to please myself.
And once again, revisiting my priorities, and my goals. It would be so easy to get sucked into mass producing and making money. And every time that carrot is dangled in front of me, I cringe. And I have flash backs of all those years as a nurse, and all those years in a correctional setting, and my dream to finally leave it behind me, and "create" an environment of joy and serenity and having a place where my own somewhat unconventional creative muse could thrive.
And I am here. So I look at the numbers, and if the bills are getting paid, I push aside all the notions of success that are bandied about. This is my success, and it has to have a definition all its own. If I weave beautiful things out of textile scrap, and if people buy it, and love it, and make it possible for me to pay the taxes and the heat, and keep weaving in this wonderful old house, with sun (not today) streaming through wavy glass, then that is success to me.
If my grandchildren come, and love this old house, and are happy to play here for hours, and fill the rooms with their laughter; if they are comfortable with the thump of the beater while "Mimi" weaves, and ask to come again. Yes, that is success.
If my daughters, three of them, chide me for making such messes, but come help me clean it periodically, and rave to their friends about their mother being incredibly "talented", if a little bizarre.......ha! yes, then that is success.
And if my husband keeps me around and calls me his best friend, even though I am driven to this crazy as a loom life style, yup......that is success, as well.