Crazy as a Loom

Not ever.

2012-01-31T19:13:00.000-05:00

OK, when I start eating oatmeal for breakfast, I have accepted that it is winter.

Even though it is warmer than the usual, it's still winter.

Recently, someone that I used to know well, has fallen into the deep, dark well that is alcoholism.
When I heard about it, I reached out. I didn't expect that it would help, but I didn't know that it wouldn't, so I tried.
Doing so, brought a lot of memories roaring back at me. Memories of stressful, unhappy, dark times.
It also brought back a lot of feelings I had as I struggled to straighten my life out, with the help of AlAnon.
AlAnon didn't just help me in dealing with the alcoholic. It helped ME find ME.

My gratitude is eternal.

I learned a lot of things.

I learned that you create yourself by the choices you make.
I learned that you can choose happiness, and walk away from misery.
I learned that you can take your hands off what is not yours, and that the reward for doing that is great.

I learned that serenity is truly priceless, and that it is mine for the taking.

Mostly what I learned, can be summed up in a few pages from the Big Book, page 449 to the end of the chapter.
Saved my life.
Still does.
I wanted to share it with you all.
Cause it can't hurt. E.v.e.r.

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

For me, serenity began when I learned to distinguish between those things that I could change and those I could not. When I admitted that there were people, places, things, and situations over which I was totally powerless, those things began to lose their power over me. I learned that everyone has the right to make their own mistakes, and learn from them, without my interference, judgement, or assistance!

The key to my serenity is acceptance. But "acceptance" does not mean that I have to like it, condone it, or even ignore it. What it does mean is I am powerless to do anything about it... and I have to accept that fact.

Nor does it mean that I have to accept "unacceptable behavoir." Today I have choices. I no longer have to accept abuse in any form. I can choose to walk away, even if it means stepping out into the unknown. I no longer have to fear "change" or the unknown. I can merely accept it as part of the journey.

I spent years trying to change things in my life over which I was powerless, but did not know it. I threatened, scolded, manipulated, coerced, pleaded, begged, pouted, bribed and generally tried everything I could to make the situation better -- only watch as things always got progressively worse.

I spent so much time trying to change the things I could not change, it never once occurred to me to simply accept them as they were.

Now when things in my life are not going the way I planned them, or downright bad things happen, I can remind myself that whatever is going on is not happening by accident. There's a reason for it and it is not always meant for me to know what that reason is.

That change in attitude has been the key to happiness for me. I know I am not the only who has found that serenity."

The cure?

2012-01-30T20:20:00.000-05:00

I came home early today, just one of those days.
You know the kind.
But I was determined not to waste the day, so I took Roy for a long walk. The wind was cold on my face, but my long LL Bean down coat kept me toasty.
It was still a beautiful day.
After Physical Therapy, I decided to do some cooking, nothing that took me out of my comfort zone........in other words, easy stuff. So while I was making roast chicken and biscuits for dinner, I started throwing together some chili. Of course, I have to make TWO pots of chili, one with meat, and one without.
Then, while that was simmering, I roasted some vegetables in the oven, and made Roasted Vegetable Enchiladas, to take to the studio.

Pictures from the past make me happy.

You know how I am about color.

One of these days, I am going to wake up without a headache.

And when I do, watch out, world.

It's just a matter of time.

I believe that.

I haven't bought a loom in awhile. Maybe that's it. Maybe this headache is loom withdrawal.

Maybe I need to do some loom shopping. Ya think?

Sorry, it's goodbye.

2012-01-29T18:04:00.000-05:00

Yup. It's farewell. Enough is enough.

In fact it stinks.

So just say goodbye.

Not to ME.
To Whitey, here.
Cuz he's a leavin' town.

He's leaving on the back of a pickup truck, with the Adirondack Nuisance and Pest Control. He's moving at LEAST 5 miles away, and I think the whole hamlet of Kingsbury will be glad he's gone.
He's very nice looking, but he smells BAD.
Now it's time to board up all the holes where he's getting into the barn, and going under the floor.

While I was waiting for his ride to come, I put another warp on the Hammett.....just 50 yards this time.
I am still weaving with this awesome floral fabric that I love, so I just tweaked the colors a bit.

I used the same red and ecru, but I ditched the yellow, and changed from a light minty green to an olive green. I kept a little of the dusty rose.

Stinky and sweet.
That's the way it is today, folks.
All in all, a good day.

Mushroom soup and the bottom line.

2012-01-28T18:56:00.000-05:00

Last night, after pushing myself out the door to walk with Roy, I had to think about dinner.

DH and I take turns deciding on, and cooking, dinner.

It seems to work for us.

It was my turn, but my head was making it hard to concentrate.

DH was understanding, and said he would bring home subs for him and my mother.

I made cream of mushroom soup.

But I didn't know where my recipe was, and I had read somewhere that adding dried mushrooms to

regular mushrooms really made a huge difference.

So I didn't bother with a recipe, instead, I winged it.

Believe me, this was one time when it worked out.

There is not a drop of soup left. I can't believe it.

I posted the 'wing it' recipe on the Recipe tab at the top of the page.

I made myself a grilled cheese with guacamole. The picture is not so great,

but the sandwich was.

Today was a couple of notches better than the last four days. I hate that I categorize my days with a number, but really, that's the least of it.

Smoky, aka Lucy, aka Also, has gone to her forever home with my friend Bonnie.

She has put on some weight since we rescued her, and now relaxed, she has become a

very sweet girl. She will be happy in her own space, the only cat, Queen Bee.

I spent the day alone at the studio. It was quiet.

As I was puttering around, I noticed these purple towels, and realized that I never posted a photo of them.

They are a little weird, not exactly my color combo.

I worked on some placemats, finishing my 60 yard warp.

Now THESE are my colors.

Some days you do what you can. You let the rest go.

Years ago, in a rough place in my life, I started a gratitude journal. In my despair, I struggled some days to find 5 things to be grateful for. But they were there, from the simplest of comforts like a cup of coffee; to gifts we never think of, like a crystal blue sky.
I found myself grateful for a steady job, for my daughters, for my mother, for my dogs, my home.
Grateful for the chance to take a nap, pay my bills, make cookies, walk in the woods.
I kept that journal for two years. I still have it.
What I learned from writing down 5 things I was grateful for, every day, was this:
There is always something to be thankful for. Always.
So even now, mystified and some days nearly crazy with this headache..........I am still grateful.

Hard sometimes, confusing and challenging, life is still good.

Breaktime.

2012-01-27T15:29:00.000-05:00

It rained hard all night. Our back yard is practically flooded, the first time in the 7 years we have lived here.

The slush on the roads is deep, and it is still raining. And while it is messy and annoying, my fear is what it will be like when the temps drop.

Oh, winter.

I did so well walking right into the first of January, but for the last week and a half, between my headache and the icy roads and sidewalks, I have not done much walking. Roy looks at me with those big browns, and I feel guilty.

This headache has been an 8-10 for four days now. I can't really figure out what changed to make it this bad.

I went to the studio this morning, with a few chores that I wanted to get done.

First, I had some orders to pack up.

Then I had three sets of placemats I wanted to put on my web site.

Here are the pink ones.......can you see Tweety peaking out at you???

These cream and green ones are my favorites.

Right now, I have about 38 sets of placemats. I told you January was placemat month.
Yeehaw.

I knew I wasn't going to last long at the studio. I haven't had to come home midday in a few weeks, but that was then, and this is now.

Sydney just watched me doing what I had to do.
She has molded this box to her shape. None of the other three cats dare to get near "her box", and I have left it on the counter, just for her.
I couldn't resist putting her name on it.

Sydney says:

You look like crap. You'd better go home.

And even though I had every intention of sewing the hems on this 'tote bags' in progress, I did go home about noon.

I came home, ate something, and took to the couch with a heating pad on the back of my neck, and sweet boy Roy.

I have an appointment with a headache/pain doctor in about 10 days.

I am focusing on that. Getting there.

Getting someplace where there is no headache.

Yay.

Is it winter?

2012-01-26T19:44:00.000-05:00

I have always bought my books on Amazon.

Until today.

L has been a ~~good~~ bad influence.

Going to the library every week, ordering books from the library online, and then going to pick them up.

Paying zip. Nada. Zero.

So today, I dug my library card out, and trudged in.

Actually, we have a beautiful new library, and there is really no reason NOT TO USE IT.

And it's 5 minutes from my house.

Duh.

So today, I got three books....until I can figure out how to use their website, and figure out what I want to order.

I must admit to having NO rhyme NOR reason for choosing these books.
They just seemed to speak to me.

And since they cost NOTHING, well, bringing them home was sure easy.

Tonight DH took me downtown for a cozy little dinner at the Gourmet Cafe. I had some french onion soup, some wine, some pasta primavera, and garlic bread.
Watching the snow fall softly on the street outside.

Now I'm glad to be home, curled up on the couch, with my afghan and my laptop, and a cuppa tea.

And my sweet boy Roy, of course.

Partial labotomy anyone?

2012-01-25T18:59:00.000-05:00

Two days of a screamer have left me a little shaky, and ready for surgical intervention. Got a knife anyone??? There must be a YOU TUBE video with instructions out there somewhere.

Sometimes, honestly, I ask myself how I can get through another day with this headache. And while I am wondering, I keep putting one foot in front of the other, and I do get through it.
Then I hope that the next day will be better.
Sometimes it is, and sometimes not.
Today, not.

Oh, but's let not talk about headaches. They're so depressing.

Today, L and I disassembled the Union 36 loom, and moved it into the old kitchen.
I am convinced that the studio will feel oh so much nicer, with just ONE loom in the living room, and ONE loom in the front room that is mostly retail space anyway.

I like it better already.

And the Union looks like it belongs in its new space.

I wasn't very productive today, so I felt good about getting that done.

My mother informed us tonight that her TV was brighter and more colorful than ever before.

Uh.......do you think it might have something to do with the two cataract surgeries that you just had??
Maybe?

I find that there is an element of science fiction to life. It occurs to me often.
But maybe it's just the book by Stephen King that I'm reading, 11-22-63.

I highly recommend it....it is totally engaging, and makes me feel that maybe there is a happy ending.

Weave, weave, weave.

2012-01-23T18:17:00.000-05:00

Sydney says:

Where's Olivia???

Oh, Syd. You look so sad. She might not come today if it's going to rain.

Wait. Did you hear the door??

Yup. It's her.

HEY Olivia.

Can't spend too much time schmoozing, got some weaving to do.

It's never too soon to be exposed to weaving.

You never know when a weaver is "in the making".

Oh, Olivia, you are too beautiful.

Today might have been gray and gloomy, even rainy, but we were swimming in color, lots of it.
L and I made this 5'x7' cotton rug.
Sure to cheer anyone up.

These are the rugs that are just too much fun. Since they are going up on my web site for sale, and they aren't being made for someone specifically, we got to choose whatever colors we wanted.
Takes the pressure off.
And who needs pressure.
Not me.

One day at a time

2012-01-22T18:11:00.000-05:00

Going through my web site, I have found a couple of rugs that are not logged in anywhere.
Can't sell them that way.

So far I have straightened up the placemat page, the blue jean page, and the Adirondack Lodge rug page.
Moving right along. A page at a time.

My youngest daughter commented that there were an awful lot of pages on my web site, so I am cleaning it up, deleting stuff that has been sold, combining pages.
Someone once told me that I should leave SOLD rugs on there, just so people would know that I am in fact selling them.
Is that silly?
I think so.
I did leave a few on there that were long gone, but I'm not doing it anymore.

The grandkids have left.

The house is fairly quiet.

Roy is sleeping by my side.

I love seeing them, laughing with them. I love being run over by their youth and enthusiasm, their silliness.

It reminds me of a scene from my favorite show, Everybody Loves Raymond. Frank walks into the house, kisses his grandsons on the head, breathes in the smell of their hair, and says something about sucking up all that youth.

But then, they're gone. And I love the way my life snaps back to its own pace, slower, quieter,

still occasionally silly.

Sometimes getting older is totally ok with me.

Say what?

2012-01-21T18:33:00.000-05:00

I worry about Next, especially when it is bitter cold at night.

When I pulled in the driveway this morning, I hear him crying to me as soon as I got out of the car.

"Rowr." Loud.

That's what it sounds like.

I have tried to get him to come in, but he's having none of that. He stuck his nose in the porch door once, and then right out again.

He has a heated water dish on the porch, and he gets fed well, every day.

Up in the loft of the barn, he has a huge box, surrounded by bags of selvedge to stop the wind, and inside it is full of hay, a wool blanket, and a heated cat pad. It is plugged into a no fault breaker on the outside of the barn. It only heats up when the cat lays on it, and then it heats his body to its normal temperature.

So I guess all things considered, he has what he needs.

And he has a solar house.

Which he is smart enough to use.

And we love him up every chance we get.

Sometimes I have to tell myself to let it be.
We do what we can do, and then we have to let it be enough.
But I always wonder about the person who just let him wander off, that person who didn't care.
Without being neutered, he was destined to live a life of fighting and roaming, and generally struggling to survive.
And then he wandered up on the porch at Crazy as a Loom.
NEXT!!!!

Today was a grandkids day. We went to Aimee's dinner and a movie......

Now they're chillin'. One can hope anyway.

Roy loves company. Especially kids.

He never gets enough hugging.

Why the long face, girl??

mmmmm........let me think.

I get that.....sometimes you just don't know where that mood comes from.
And sometimes, if you think about it, you don't have one after all.

At last.

2012-01-20T17:59:00.000-05:00

I finally got three more Physical Therapy appointments approved by my insurance, then I went and cancelled my appointment for today.
Crazy??
Maybe.
But I'm sick of it, folks. SICK of it.
I have had a headache now for 13 weeks. SERIOUSLY???
It sounds like a joke. I must be making it up.
I wish I were.
13 weeks 24/7. A headache.
My God, what did I ever do to deserve this?

So in between weaving more placemats.........

Same warp, different fabrics.........

I did a google search, found a massage therapist that offered a variety of techniques, and made an appointment for this afternoon. I left the studio early.

I wasn't sure what to expect, but hey, I figured at this point, what do I have to lose?

My chosen therapist is proficient is Swedish massage, Connective Tissue Therapy, Craniosacral Therapy, Neuromuscular Therapy, Myofascial Release, Positional Release, and Tera-Mai Reiki.

Bring it on.

So I am ditching, pretty much and at least for now, conventional medicine.
They have not impressed me, helped me, relieved my pain, or given me much hope.

Just like weaving up some Tweety fabric, sometimes things just ain't what they seem.

For more than an hour, he worked on my back, my neck, my shoulders..............I closed my eyes, and went somewhere other worldly. At one point, he was pressing on one particularly sensitive muscle group in my back, and suddenly I felt something just 'let go'. That must be the release part, but I couldn't believe that I was actually aware of it happening. It was marvelous beyond description.
And finally, I am hopeful. I see possibilities. I feel like I am headed down the right path.
Do you know how exciting that is??

I am going again next Wednesday, and it can't come soon enough.
Hallelujah, and Amen.

A better me.

2012-01-19T16:05:00.000-05:00

I was at the studio by 8am, waiting for the furnace repairman to come. I called them to come and check it, because it makes so much noise. Now, understand, it has ALWAYS sounded like a Volkswagen taking off, but lately, it has been even worse. When it's running, the vibration is deafening.

We don't use it often, the pellet stove on one end of the house, and the Monitor heater on the other end, keep the big old house fairly comfortable.......but I want to have it in good running order for a back up.

The bad news is that the heat exchangers have apparently rusted apart, or some such nonsense.

It will last a while, but it probably means there is a NEW furnace in my future.

Terrific.

I consoled myself weaving in front of the pellet stove, which was roaring a beautiful flame, with the sun pouring through the window next to me.

More placemats, different fabric. I am building up quite a stash.

Right outside the window, is what's left of my hydrangea bush.
I think it's still quite lovely.

I have been thinking a lot about responsibility, commitment, and promises. Spoken and unspoken.
I remember my father sitting at my kitchen table, about a week before he died.
He asked me, with a nod towards my mother, "What about her?"
I said, "I will take care of her. You don't have to worry about that."
And I meant it.
Seven years have passed.
And there are days that I feel like a fly on fly paper. Stuck. Trapped.
Just not knowing what to do next.

I don't like feeling like the 'resentful caregiver', but truth is.........sometimes I do.

I have thought a whole lot about it. I have pried into the corners of my brain, searched for answers, evaluated the options, and then done it again.

What I have come up with is this:

I need to try harder. I need to dig deeper. I need to breathe and let some of it go.
I need to be better.
A lot better.

I guess it's ok to have flaws.
I know that I do.

Sometimes, I just wish that life could be as simple as this......stacks of rugs, bursting with color.
Nothing more, nothing less

Sweat shop

2012-01-18T18:13:00.000-05:00

I had a stressful day, so let me just show you the Sweat Shop at Crazy as a Loom today.

First we have Lois, weaving medium sized bags on the Union 36.
Note the short sleeves.
This is NOT a house with central heat. OK?

When this warp is done, we are moving this loom to the back room, where it will live with the Reed Ideal.

And then we have Tammy, recently laid off, spending time at Crazy as a Loom, weaving Chunky Solmate Sock Rugs.

And NO, it is not summer in the northeast.
This girl is working up a sweat.
But both she and Lois are warmer blooded than I am.
While they are weaving in the south end of the house with BARE SKIN showing,
I'm in by the pellet stove with long sleeves AND a sweater.
Shivering.

Don't kill me Tammy. You're beautiful.

What works.

2012-01-17T19:31:00.000-05:00

Yup, you guessed it.

More placemats.

But first I did some placemat inventory, and combined two sketchy pages on my web site, into ONE much nicer, with two columns. I think it is easier to navigate, and the pictures can be enlarged with a click, for a closer look.
You can see it HERE.

Then I took pictures of all the blue jean rugs I have in stock, and put them on my web site, HERE.

So I didn't get much weaving done.
It was a gloomy, rainy, slushy gray day, and it made me Sydney sleepy.
Yawn.

My intent, this month, along with weaving up a bunch of placemats, is to systematically spiff up my web site, one category at a time. Somehow, that makes it so much more doable.
On the headache front, the therapist ditched the traction yesterday, and tried some trigger point therapy on my neck and upper back. It was interesting, and my headache has been low key all day today, so we'll see.
I am open to any solution, anytime, anywhere.

My holiday.

2012-01-16T19:05:00.000-05:00

I was up at the crack of dawn, and then........stayed home.
Headache?
Nah, no more than the usual dull meanness.
But the house was quiet, and I was alone in my own house, just for the morning, and I could not resist the temptation to stay here.
Me and Roy.
No TV on anywhere in the whole house.
I cleaned the stove, then the downstairs bathroom. Had another cuppa tea.
Exciting stuff.

Of course, my heart lives at the studio pretty much all the time. I love it there any time, all the time.

But there is something to be said for being 'home' alone.
No chatter, no questions, no human interaction at all.
(This does not happen often, my friends. Not often at all.)

Just Roy waiting to get on my lap the moment I sit down.

I am a sporadic housekeeper. Never was a high point with me. I have a couple of freakish obsessions........clean uncluttered (as in bare) kitchen counter, totally clean, uncluttered table, clean uncluttered bathroom counter......that's about it.
The rest of the house may look like a tornado went through, but those places.....pristine.
What's up with that?
Seriously, DH does a lot, and I do what I can when I get home at night. It's livable. Doesn't smell, not disgusting, according to me. Don't ask youngest daughter, who could give Martha Stewart some lessons.

I have always cherished solitude, even as a child. Don't ask me why. Maybe it is normal, maybe not.
Give me my books, my knitting, and of late years, my laptop. I am golden. Quiet? I wish.
One of these days, I would like to talk everyone in this household to have NO TV for ONE evening.
None, nada. Quiet.
I can't even imagine it.
Do you long for quiet sometimes?? Or is it just me?

When I finally got to the studio, I worked on some placemats.
MISMATCHED.
I love them.

Late this afternoon, I went to my physical therapy appointment. We ditched the traction for today.
I got heat, the ultrasound, the usual. Then the therapist did trigger point therapy on the back of my neck and on my shoulder blade. I am waiting to see what tonight and tomorrow will be like.
It's always a crap shoot.

Sunday Chowda

2012-01-15T16:16:00.001-05:00

I just love saying that. Chowda.

Today was a balmy zero here in upstate New Yawk. A tad chilly for me.
I went to the studio to process an order, and I am happy to say that someone bought ALL the close out first version Solmate sock rugs. They are packed to go. History as they say.
Now we can concentrate on the new Solmate sock rugs, the thinner Walking on Sunshine, and the thicker Chunky Solmate Sock rugs.
It will be a little less confusing for the customer, and besides, we like them better, and therefore we like weaving them better.

I had a yen to spend the afternoon at home, putzing around alone in my house.
Don't get me wrong, I love my mother, and having her live with us has gotten to be the norm.
But I think every woman loves to just do their own thing, uninterrupted, in their own kitchen.
And that's what I've been doing all afternoon.
After I hit the grocery store, I came home with a plan.
First, I made Broccoli, Red Pepper, Cheddar Chowda.

The recipe started out with one that Lois found online. I had every intention of following it, until I poured the water that I cooked the broccoli in, down the sink.
I was supposed to save it.
That's what you get when you don't read the directions first. I get myself into a lot of trouble that way.
So from there I decided I might as well wing it, since I screwed it up anyway.

Winging it can be good.

My next venture was Cornbread muffins. I used Bob's Red Mill Stone Ground, Whole Grain corn meal.....and I have to say, they are the best ones I have ever made.

LOVE them.

I had to try one, with butter, of course.

Would you like one?? They're still warm.

Then, since I already had a helluva mess going, I decided to make Farfalle with Sausage, Cannellini Beans, and Kale. I can tell you that the 'chorizo' that I used is Smart Sausage, not real meat at all. I can tell you that, because the KALE will turn off everyone in this house, but me. So the Smart Sausage won't be an issue.

Recipes are on my new "Recipe" tab...above.

Now I am going to weave a little on my towel warp, the one I have at home. Just a nice quiet day, staying warm.

DH took Roy for his walk, I declined.

Mom, do I have to wear this????

He was reluctant to go out the door, I watched them go and at first they seemed to be going along good.

Then Roy stopped, and turned around, looking back at the house.

Can we go home????

It's cold out there.

Saturday shuffle

2012-01-14T19:47:00.000-05:00

This is where I wanted to be today. Bitter cold outside, sun coming through the windows, fire roaring.

Loom threaded, just waiting for me.

This says spring and warm breezes, lovely, warm, sunny days. Don't you think?

It is just joyful weaving, I am not kidding.

I didn't take Roy for a walk today, too busy and too cold.

My mother is away at a friend's for a couple of days, so DH and I went out to dinner at the Gourmet Cafe.
I love their pasta bar, all you can eat.
I should have taken a picture of my order.....bowtie pasta, green onions, spinach, mushrooms, pesto, white wine, olive oil and parmesan.
By the time I thought of a picture, it was gone.
I apologize.
I am so rude.

Maybe next time.

You'll just have to trust me that it was to "die for".

Shout out:
Gourmet Cafe
Glen St
Glens Falls, NY

Whew.

2012-01-13T18:19:00.000-05:00

I finished my first spring placemats off this warp.

Most of them are sets of 4.

The warp threads are tan, light blue, pale yellow, light sage green.

The set below is sage green.

When I get on a placemat kick, I am not easily distracted. I get into it. My stash of placemats was getting pretty low, and besides, I needed to surround myself with spring pastels.

I have a couple of sets of these blue ones.

And a couple of sets of this different blue.

And three sets of these buttercup yellow, one set has 6 placemats in it.

These are my faves.

Then I get a little crazy.......hence, Crazy as a Loom. Cuz I ask myself questions, like WHY do sets of placemats have to match?

Do they? And who sez????

So....in the spirit of mismatched placemats to jazzzzzzzzzz up your dinner table, I give you:

Set of 4 MISMATCHED, but they LOVE each other.

And another set of MISMATCHED, with a different shade of yellow.....in case you were going to suggest that I put all four yellow ones TOGETHER.

Every night, I bring these placemats home to tie the fringe. I swear the fringe takes longer than the weaving does.

The wind picked up this afternoon, and the temperature began to drop.

What???? winter???? what's up with that?

Before I left for my Physical Therapy session, I put another warp on the Hammett.....for more placemats.

Here are the colors I chose.

It is sometimes hard to imagine what they will look like together, but I just have to

trust my instinct.

So I hearby declare January Placemat Month.

It works for me.

This is just as complicated as I want my life to be.

Grrrr.

2012-01-12T19:24:00.000-05:00

Today I treated myself. I bought myself a hand held flash.
I won't tell you that I know yet quite how to use it, but I am hopeful that I can learn.
Here is a picture of the cupboard by the back door, using the new flash.

Here is a picture of the same cupboard, a few days ago, with just the regular flash on my camera.
There is a glare, and it looks harsh.

And here is the same cupboard with no flash at all.

Do you get it??
Good, cause I don't. I'm working on it though. God knows.

I have not had a good day. First of all, it was a # 10 headache day, haven't had one this bad in a while.

Then I was forced to admit that a SKUNK has totally screwed up production at Crazy as a Loom.
Yup, a skunk. He lives under the barn, and he was apparently frightened enough to stink up the whole place.
Everything has to be moved out of the barn, a gargantuan task, and HE has to go. Seriously.

Then I came home, and decided to make black bean soup. Which went well. At first.
It went well until I poured half of it in the food processor, to blend it, and it leaked out all over the counter.
Sputtering, I cleaned up the mess. I washed the processor, and put it back together, and tried it again.
It leaked out all over the counter.
By this time, I was totally ticked off, skunk and all.
The soup was just FINE unblended, with some asiago bread that I bought from Panera, and a wedge of iceburg, chopped tomatoes, and blue cheese dressing.
And a glass of wine.
The Cuisinart is history.
That's the way I roll.

A little blue.

2012-01-11T18:24:00.000-05:00

Not really. I'm not blue at all.

But I was weaving these blue placemats today.

On my spring fling.

Lois was making kits.....Walking on Sunshine Rag Rug kits to be exact.

Kits are a good thing, because we haven't figured out how to clone ourselves so WE could weave it all.

Mostly I'm not blue, because this physical therapy seems to be working on my headache. Oh, it's still around, every day, but it is very low key most of the time, and I can function with it.
It's such a relief.
Of course, the insurance company only approves 4-6 appointments at a time, and then they require that I make out more paper work, and jump through more hoops.
Pretty insane. Maybe they would rather I had major surgery.

We got a new rack today, for ruanas, and shawls and such.
I bought it on Ebay, and I think it is perfect. What do you think?

I am very tired tonight.......it's been a long day.
I hope you are staying warm.....wherever you are.
Not you, Mary in Hawaii, cause we KNOW you are keeping very warm. Do you have a spare bedroom, perchance???
I can't imagine it, but some one of these winters, I am going to miss the whole season, I swear.
But for now, time for a cuppa tea, and my jammies.

Ooh, and that banana chocolate chip pancake, cold and made into a PB and J.........heart be still!!!
I have to try that one.

OK, then.

2012-01-10T18:22:00.000-05:00

Well, at least I know you aren't all asleep out there.
Didn't mean to get everyone fired up, although maybe getting fired up now and then is a good thing.
It's easy to get complacent.

Today was my mother's first cataract surgery, and she did great. But she read the instructions to me, twice, about having someone stay with her for 24 hours. I am sure she would have been fine, but I stayed home anyway. While she dozed in front of her stove, I started my DECLUTTER plan.

I began in the living room, every shelf, every drawer, every place that was stashed with stuff.
Books, papers, magazines, minutiae. I organized. I bagged up a whole bunch of it that was leaving my house.
Then when my husband came home, I took Roy for a long walk. It was warm, so warm that I had my coat unzipped, and took my gloves off.
These guys were enjoying the sun.

Back in November, I remember thinking that there were about 120 days to navigate Roy's walks through winter weather. But we got through December, headache and all. The weather was so mild, that some days, I went for a walk just to thumb my nose at the headache.
I'm like that.
And now here we are, almost half way through January, and we're still walking. It's amazing.

Tomorrow, she has her post op recheck, and then maybe I will get some weaving done. And then, in two weeks, we can do it all over again for the other eye. My declutter plan for that day targets the kitchen, and all the cupboards........oh, joy.

I came home and made strawberry shortcake from those strawberries I froze last summer. Oh, my, they were so good.

I'm thinking it is almost time for a giveaway. Something fun.
Any ideas?
But before you go, tell me something. I got to thinking about this as I was going through a pile of recipes that I had torn from magazines eons ago........and found a couple that I just knew would be perfect winter fare.
What comfort food are you crazy for in the middle of January???

Party on

2012-01-09T19:51:00.001-05:00

Ah, heart be still.
The makings of a little weaver. And a sweet one, at that.
Every time I threw the shuttle, she put her little hands on the beater bar, and with a little help from me,
she swung the beater home. Several times.
Then she said, "More".
We repeated this routine for quite a while, until she decided she was finished.

While I show you my recent place mats, let me just say that I am not fond of politics. Can't say that I have ever understood it.

When I was a teenager, and JFK was elected, my mother was so upset she threatened to put a black flag on the front lawn. She defended Richard Nixon until it was 100% evident that she was wasting her time.

Even then, she remained a staunch Republican.

When I turned 18, I registered as a Democrat, pretty much just to piss her off.

I never saw a need to change it.

Just the last election, my mother announced that she was done with all those Republicans. For the first time since she came to the USA in 1946, she voted for a Democrat.

But I am a cynic, folks. I am not sure if I was born that way, or not, but by the time I was 13, I had what I consider, a healthy suspicion of all politics and all religion.

Seemed to me that churches, and governments, all had pretty much the same intentions.

I'm voting (again) for Mr. Obama, because I believe he is a good man, trying to do a good job. And because I don't think the Republicans have anyone that I would even consider.

I don't care what party wins, I just want world peace, an end to world hunger, and I want all dogs and cats to have a home, and someone to love them.

Whichever party can do those things, then I'm for them.

But not to get into a debate about the upcoming presidential election, I know I would tire of it quite quickly. Weaving is so much more fun.

I think it is unfortunate that the only people who can run for president, are people with boatloads of money.
But just because they have a lot of money, doesn't mean that they are any more perfect than the rest of us. They make mistakes, they say stupid things, they look foolish.
Been there, done that.

Oh, yes, I confess. I am guilty, too. I have made some incredibly stupid choices in my life, said things I wish I could take back, made decisions that make me cringe now.

I wouldn't want to be running for office, cause surely someone would appear from my past, to remind me of every misstep I ever took.

Ouch.

How embarrassing.

I guess that's why the rhythmic, simple weaving of rag rugs and placemats makes me so happy.

It's my party.

A rant and a walk.

2012-01-08T17:42:00.000-05:00

I don't usually rant about politics, or religion.

I know those are personal subjects, and my ranting is not likely to change anyone's mind.

Not that I want to change anyone's mind. I don't. I am totally ok with everyone having their own belief system, and making their own decisions.

But I have to mention something that my husband read to me this morning, from the Sunday paper.

I don't read the paper. It depresses me. He tells me all the bad news I need to know.

Rick Santorum opposes birth control. He has equated same sex marriage with with polygamy, pedophilia, and bestiality-- and argued that gays and lesbians should not serve openly in the military because "they're in close quarters, they live with people, they obviously shower with people."

He may be a nice guy, but seriously?

Wouldn't we, as a nation, as a people, be going BACKWARDS.

I'm sorry. I am not going to climb up on a stump and wave my hands, but I am appalled.

I wish he hadn't said those things.

Actually, I wish he didn't BELIEVE those things.

I don't care what anyone believes, and I am not interested in how they live their lives. But if you are not abusing animals or children, and not hurting anyone, then you have the right to decide for yourself.

I want to have the choice. I don't want anyone taking it away from me.

End of rant.

And congrats to Mitt. I don't see how he could lose the nomination.

Sunday, and not my turn to take my mother to the SA.
Yay.

Next was waiting for me.
He is very vocal.

And now he lets me touch him every day.
In fact, he insists.

He didn't like the click of my phone taking his picture.

I did some more rearranging, trying to make the first thing you see when you come in the door, look appealing.
The retail part of the studio needs to flow.
The argument that it is a 'working studio', kind of gives us license to spread out, and unfortunately, then the whole place looks like a cyclone hit it.

I finished more placemats......in shades of yellow, pale greens, and whites.

I love weaving placemats. They just make me feel good.
I am glad I am so easy to please.

Roy is like me sometimes. He is easy to please, too.
Sunshine and a walk.
Doesn't get any easier.

Time to move....stuff.

2012-01-07T19:35:00.000-05:00

After taking a long walk with Roy bright and early, I headed to the studio. I have to beat myself to walk in the morning.......but once I get out there, I love it. Go figure.

Next is waiting for me on the porch every morning. The cat who used to run, now sits and lets me pet him, and even rolls over on his back for a little belly rub.
Unfortunately, he wants to come in.
I am very hesitant to bring another male cat into the house. Besides, that would make FIVE. And remember, I drew the line at FOUR. He needs a home. I figure he's about 2 years old, and I know he is neutered, because L and I trapped him last year, and had it done.
And I think maybe he needs a better name, something other than "Next".

About half way through the day, while I was busily weaving placemats on my new 'spring' warp, I decided to take some pictures. That's when I realized that I had left my camera home. First time in a LONG time. I never leave the house without it. Well, I can't say never anymore.

So, I took pictures with my Iphone. Not as good, I know.

The warp I just put on is sage green, pale yellow, pale blue, and tan, for some bright, cheery placemats.

This is the pale yellow one that I just finished.

And I moved some furniture around. I was going to wait for help, but couldn't contain myself.
This is just inside the door, and I am going to clean off the shelf, and use it for retail display.

I moved the chunky rug/sweet bottoms display into the front room.
Now I want to have some better lighting put in that room.
And the Union loom needs to come out.

Why do I keep moving things around?? you might ask.
I can't explain it, but sometimes things just don't feel right. It doesn't have the proper flow.
The space annoys me, and calls out for help.

When I get it all moved around, it will be serene and perfect for awhile.

Until it isn't.
Then we'll do it all over again.

Update, blah, blah.

2012-01-06T20:28:00.000-05:00

I want to thank you all for listening to me rant and rave about my headache for the last 11 weeks.
And not only did you listen, you encouraged me to hang on, to stay strong, and to keep looking for the answer.
I have been going for PT on my neck for a week now, and while I still have a headache, its fury has been diminished by about half. I am starting to have more GOOD days than BAD. And I am hopeful.
Do you blame me??

I just wanted to own up to something.......that great story that was written in the Life @ Home magazine recently, had a couple of mistakes.
First off, she made it sound like I single handedly did all the carpenter work for the renovations at the studio. Untrue. Carpentry is really not one of my talents.
She also said that I tore up all the wall to wall carpeting in the studio, and finished the wood floors.
But there was no wall to wall carpeting there when I bought the studio. Didn't happen.
The BIGGEST mistake the writer made, was about inventory. I told her I had about $30,000 in inventory. She wrote that I had 30,000 FINISHED ITEMS.
Ack! What warehouse do I have that stored in ??????
Still, it was a great article, and I am grateful for the free advertising.

And yes, I am still walking Roy. I have missed a couple of days because of the weather, and a couple of days when my head was about to fall off. But otherwise, we get out there.

We had a dusting of snow. And I am finding that 'getting out there', no matter how cold it is, makes it easier to keep doing it. I guess I am getting used to it.

Roy loves to walk. He lives for it, and he is the sweetest, most well behaved boy around.
Other dogs pull and jump, bark, act bad. Not Roy.

We had a couple of cold days, and the river started to freeze over.

I love it the most, when we go down by the dam, and there is no one there but us.

Just me, my sweet boy Roy, and a headache that doesn't rule me.
Sweet.

Just like Roy.

Brrrrr.

2012-01-04T18:29:00.000-05:00

Cold in the northeast..........the fire was roaring all day.

Miss Puss has something to say.

Uh, Miss Puss......

She's kinda dozed off, but I think she wanted to tell you to stay close to the fire.
She never gets too far away from it.
This girl likes to be WARM.
This is HER chair.
And NOONE sits in her chair.

After Physical Therapy late this afternoon, I headed for the grocery store. I hate doing that, you just know it is going to be the worst time ever to be there.
But I had a plan for dinner, and I needed stuff.

I made some awesome cream of mushroom soup, with two kinds of mushrooms, the regular kind, and shitake. I sliced up two bunches of green onions, and I chopped the mushrooms up pretty small. I sauteed them both in a little EVO, added 1 box of Swanson's chicken broth, three vegetable bouillon cubes, about 2 cups more of water, a little roux, some garlic, salt, pepper, and a splash of half and half to cream it all up. We had the soup with grilled ham, cheese and tomato on crusty rye. (I left the ham out of mine)
It was delish, and perfect for a freezing cold evening.
I can tell it is good soup, when I hear the slurping.

The headache is still with me, but I can see that the PT is having an effect on it......worse right after I go, and then better the next day. It is going to be a slow process, but so much better than having someone cut a hole in the back of my head.
I know I am feeling a little better, when I start day dreaming about what I am going to weave next.

How about some Chunky Forest Floor rugs??

I just love them.

Hope you are staying warm, wherever you are. And eating lots of soup.

It's all good.

2012-01-02T18:50:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day.
How simple that sounds, and yet how incredible.

I packed up some orders to go out tomorrow.
I worked on some mug mats.
And then I wove this rug.

I had made a huge pot of lentil soup, so I had that for lunch.

The studio was very quiet. The wind was blowing hard.

Then I started on a run of middle sized bags. I have purse size, and beach bag tote size, so this one will be somewhere in the middle.

I only finished one of the bags before I had to head out for PT. So it wasn't one of my more productive days, but in the scheme of things, still, it was a very good day.
Perspective. It's everything.
Right, Roy??

Roy??????

Resolve to do what??

2012-01-01T18:09:00.000-05:00

I have made resolutions before........and they sounded SO damn good. I loved them.
I didn't follow through with all of them, but they were impressive, thoughtfully done, I decided.
Each one of them deserving of my immediate and total attention.
Imagine.

This year, I have ONE resolution.
You KNOW what it is........it is so simple it is scary.
I resolve to LOSE this headache.
That's it. Nothing more.
But I have to tell you, it's not all bad. It seems like it, but it's not.

Going on 11 weeks, I have found that pain can not only wear you down, distract you, and interrupt your life, but it also changes your perspective. A lot.
Every day is a complete sentence. I have to live each one by itself. I have no time, or energy, to anguish about yesterday, or fret about tomorrow.
Pain does that. Pain makes TODAY the only day that matters. It asks questions that only today can answer.
How bad is this pain going to be?
Can I stand it?
Can I get anything done at all?
Can I love my life even with this knife in my head?

Sorry. But it's true.
So this headache has GIVEN me one thing that I have tried for many years to attain.
Yup. It has.
It has given me the gift of STAYING IN THIS DAY. EVERY DAY.
Who knew?
Believe it or not, it makes it easier. It does.

While in the Salvation Army with my mother this morning, my mind wandered.......I admit it.
I was doodling on the program.........and came up with three things I don't need to RESOLVE to do, but three things I WANT to do.
1. I (we, this means YOU DH) want to downsize my house.
This means getting rid of CRAP. You now what I mean. Clothes, books, papers, and a whole bunch of other minutiae that clutters our living space, and our lives.......it has to go.
2. I want to do more meaningful stuff......volunteer, donate, for something that matters.
3. I want to pursue happiness with a vengeance.
That's it. What I want to do. Period. Not what I should do. Not what I need to do. Not what someone else thinks I need to do.
Who said getting older was a bad thing?

Last year the snow filled my porch, like a wind tunnel.
This year, it won't.

I found these great reusable tarps at tarpsplus.com
They let the light through, and they were reasonable.

We didn't totally enclose the porch, but two 10'x10', and one 10' x 20' will keep most of the snow off the porch.
Thanks Claire and Lois, for the help. You did a great job.

Yesterday, though the world was hazy through one of the worst days I have had in a long time, I went to Manchester, Vt, with a friend. We went to lunch at Gringo Jacks......they have the best tortilla chips anywhere. You can even order them, and the salsa.
Then we went to the Northshire Book Store, my fave. Except that yesterday, I didn't like it much....it was mobbed, and crazy. I wasn't into crazy.
We did, however, go to a place called Zippy Chicks a consignment shop next to Gringo Jacks.

It was awesome, and I found two things for myself, a red knit hoodie, a long wool sweater/jacket and a short jacket for my mother that I knew she would love. All for $42.

Everything looked brand new.........I will definitely be going back there.

That's it for Day One of Twenty Twelve. I am thinking positive, good thoughts, for me, and for you.
Amen.

Roy concurs.

Roy .....Roy ........

Cheers!!

2011-12-31T17:46:00.001-05:00

Tough night, tough day, so I am going to give you something to read.

Back in October, the Albany Times Union called me about doing an article for their Life At Home magazine. They sent a writer, and a photographer. That's how the video came about...you can see it HERE.
Tomorrow, the article should be out in the Life at Home magazine, which is an insert in the Sunday Times Union, but YOU can see it HERE.

http://blog.timesunion.com/lifeathome/artisan-crazy-as-loom/8442/

It's probably about as famous as I am ever going to be, and as famous as I want to be.

I am grateful to the Times Union for this awesome opportunity, and grateful for all of you, who keep coming here to inspire me, support me, encourage me, and keep me going.
Love you all.
Happy New Year.......here's to 2012!! (she slurps her wine, hey why not, I already HAVE the headache!)

Ivy and me.

2011-12-30T18:47:00.000-05:00

A couple of days ago, my friend Karen, of ThisOldHouse posted pictures of a beautiful dog whose days were numbered.
Ivy, a one year old pit bull, was scheduled to be euthanized on Jan 3rd. The New Haven Animal Shelter had decided that she was deteriorating in a shelter setting, and that was that. She was depressed, not eating, losing weight, not thriving.
No, she wasn't. She needs a home.

I know, of course, that Ivy is one of thousands of dogs destined to be killed, simply because they don't have homes, but for some reason, maybe worn down by 10 weeks of pain, I felt like someone had stabbed me right through the heart. I went to bed thinking about it, and woke up in the night anxiously trying to find some answers. I went to their Facebook page, and asked what someone had to do to rescue her. I offered to pay the adoption fee, if someone wanted her, and the money was an issue.
I called Out of the Pits, in Albany, my favorite rescue group, and where I got Roy. They agreed to call the New Haven shelter, to see if they could pull her and buy her some time. I offered to go get her, figuring I could do the 3.5 hour drive on Saturday, if there was someone who would take her when I got back.
I didn't give much thought to bringing her home....DH and my mother and I are pretty squished into this little house. And besides, it wouldn't be real fair to my Roy.
Then, while waiting to hear from Cyd at Out of the Pits, someone posted on FB that Ivy was being rescued, by a brand new group called Running for Rescues.
Hallelujah, and Amen.
They are picking her up, and taking her to her foster home in Vermont, on Sunday. Ivy is starting a new year, and hopefully a new life. Poor baby girl.
I pray that she will get a forever home, soon.

Running for Rescues can be found HERE
They are brand new. Ivy is their FIRST rescue. Their concept is fantastic.......if you are a runner, you can fundraise for them, at whatever race you want to run, whenever you want to run it. It's an amazing concept, and I applaud them.
If you're not a runner, they will help you train for a 5k.
Check them out. You won't be sorry.

For myself, my reaction to Ivy has made me realize that this year is the year I want to do more for a cause that is dear to my heart. The statistics are overwhelming, and I simply cannot stand it. I know I can't save them all, but I also know that I need to be present. Being present means not turning away.

Nap time.

2011-12-29T15:17:00.001-05:00

My little boy Roy is hurt. We don't know exactly how......but he doesn't want to jump up on the couch, and he really isn't liking stairs. So something is bruised, or sore, or just plain hurts when he tries.
He went for a little walk this morning, and seemed fine, as long as he was trotting along, on a flat surface.

What I think may have happened, is that he injured himself with his mad dash to the back door. When he is done in the back yard, and he is ready to come in, he FLIES across from the back corner to the porch, and when he gets to the porch, he LEAPS through the air, missing all the stairs, making a crash landing. It's frightening.

He is eating, and drinking, and doing all the other things you want him to do, but it is clear he is having a pain issue.
Ah, I get that.

This morning, L and I finished up an order that we have been working on, TWO 5'x7' rugs. The customer was adamant, they had to be BRIGHT. She repeated it: BRIGHT.
We think we got it just right.
What do you think?

But by 12:30, I was ready to throw in the towel. A girl can just take so much pain.
So I headed home.
The couch was bathed in sun, and Roy was ready to keep me company.
Then my mother came around the corner, waving her grocery list.
You're kidding, right?

I took a deep breath, and we headed to Hannaford, the nearest supermarket. It was either that, or go myself with her list, and hope I got it right.

Taking my mother to the grocery store, and putting her on a motorized cart, is like putting a 6 year old on one, with a list, credit card, and a sweet tooth. As awful as it seems, I try to avoid her while we are in the store, because if she sees me, she will send me hither and yon, to get this or that. My reasoning is that she takes very little responsibility for anything, and as long as she is capable, it is a good thing to encourage her to keep doing it.
She buys mostly candy, cookies, ice cream, magazines, potato chips, with an occasional head of Boston lettuce and some teabags thrown in. Or maybe a package of HAM.
She eats with us every night, so dinner is not her main concern.
But hey, if I want to know what's going on in Hollywood....OR, if I want a snack........I know where to go.
And the shopping is done, and that's a good thing.

So if you'll excuse me now, Roy and I want to check out the backs of our eyelids, right Roy???

Attitude Adjustment

2011-12-28T17:35:00.000-05:00

I know I am in a funk, when I don't feel all that excited about the New Year coming up. I always have. It is something I depend on, no matter what.
I have felt the quivering of new ideas, and inspirations, but they are all crowded in a doorway, waiting.
Stuck maybe.
I know it is the relentless pain of this headache, now in its 10th week......is that even possible? And while I am able at times to beat myself into getting on my feet, doing a normal day, I am unable to elicit much excitement for the future.
That's ok, right?
I'm entitled, I think.

Luckily I have help with my attitude.

Yesterday, I took my three youngest grandchildren to the movies, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Chipwrecked. They were sweet, and they loved it of course. It was pretty painful for me, the volume was ridiculous, and we had to sit pretty close. I didn't watch much of it, because it would have entailed me cranking my neck back to see the screen, and I wasn't willing to endure that. So I rested.....or tried. No one noticed. They had a good time, and that was my intent.

It rained hard on the way home, and all evening. At one point, I was sure I heard thunder. Then later, on facebook, I saw that there was a gas leak into the sewers in a neighboring town, and the explosions in the sewer could be heard 7 miles away. Hundreds of gallons of gas from a damaged gas pump ran out onto the street, and into the sewers. They were evacuating people from their homes. No one was hurt.

There is always a reminder to be grateful in this world.

Which reminds me.....thanks to the OTHER HILARY for the POTW. I hardly think I deserve it, but who am I to argue. My photography is always 'dumb luck', and I am humble in her presence, along with a few others whose talent makes mine look quite amateur in contrast.
But thank you. That was nice.

It is well known at CAAL that Miss Puss and Sydney are not buddies. From the beginning, Miss Puss has tried to push Syd around, but Syd is a junk yard dog, and she isn't putting up with that.
So I am not really sure what they were doing here in front of the pellet stove.
Posturing??

Sydney says:
She ain't the boss of me.

Sigh.

Back at it.

2011-12-26T17:14:00.000-05:00

Christmas day and today were somewhat difficult because my headache was a roaring, nerve wracking 10.

I did my very, very best to act "as if" it wasn't there. A challenge, to say the least.

These two sweet faces help, believe me, they do.

In fact, I can't think of much that makes me happier. Look at them. Can you blame me???

Got to the studio this morning, and anyone could tell from my face, that it wasn't a good day.

But we had work to do, so I told L, "we're ignoring it."

And we did.

Reminds me of that saying..........mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

This is a 5'x7'. In bright colors. BRIGHT.

Two of them.
We finished one today.

We rock.

And as crazy as it seems, accomplishing something IN SPITE OF the headache, makes me happy.
Otherwise, the headache would win, and I would lose.
I would still have the headache, and be miserable because I did NOTHING.

This way, somehow, it makes the pain more doable.
Doable. Now that's a concept.

No turkey for Christmas.

2011-12-24T15:08:00.000-05:00

While I didn't have too much to do today, I still felt like I was on the run....and I don't like it, even a little.

I resent sometimes the craziness that we inflict upon ourselves during the holiday season. I wonder, often, why so many of us still grit our teeth, and white knuckle it through Christmas, as if our lives depended on it.
Getting the right gifts, spending the right amount of money, preparing the right food.
What???
Seriously.
A lot of people have lost the whole concept.........the 'goodness', the caring, the meaning.

It's not about Walmart, folks.
I know I try hard NOT to go there.....and more and more, I talk to people who feel the same, people who try to downsize the commercial side of it, and put more emphasis on family and friends. I would like to experience Christmas in a place similar to my childhood. When it was simpler, less complicated.
People weren't trampling each other after a pair of sneakers.

Toys came from the five and dime, or if you were lucky, in the mail from Sears. The local paper mill had a Christmas party for all the kids, there was a free movie.
There was an excitement that was palpable, but it wasn't about how much you got.
It was more about how much you gave.

On the way home from the studio today, I caught sight of this guy.

I made a U turn, parked my car on the side of the road, and grabbed my camera.

He looked somewhat annoyed, as I tried to get a good shot, without getting killed by passing cars.
And it was cold.

Then he totally disrepected me, and turned his back.
Hrrumph.
I swear that is what he said.

Not to be deterred, I got closer.
And I got 'the look'.

He got his feathers all in a ruffle.

Keeping his eye on me the whole time.

Finally, he'd had enough of me.
Sorry about the butt shot, but seriously......have you ever seen such a good one......butt shot, I mean???
Can I say 'butt shot' on Christmas eve day????
Oh, dear.

He looked over his shoulder, as if to say, "Are you done?"

He moved up the power line, just a ways, settled again, and looked down at me.

I think he said Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. At least that's what it sounded like.
Really.

I was getting cold, but hated to leave.

As beautiful as he was, he was not very friendly.
Even the day before Christmas. What's up with that?

He posed for me real pretty, I think he said,"OK, OK, take the picture already."

Then with a little shriek, he flew off again.

To the highest spot he could find nearby. So since he was not thrilled with the paparazzi following him, and since my fingers were frozen, I decided to bid him adieu.

Ta, ta. Merry Christmas.

whew.

2011-12-23T15:55:00.000-05:00

This is where I've been working most of the week, weaving mug mats. I would like to have a stash of them.

They are all different. Every now and then, I will make a set of four that match, but it is totally on a whim.
I love them in this basket, they are so easy to flip through to find what you like.

The warp was multi colored, and I just finished it.
I immediately put on an off white warp, to make more.

I went to the neurologist today.
He confirmed what I have suspected, and what the second neurosurgeon said, that Chiari is NOT my problem.
His diagnosis is post traumatic headache from the fall I took, the concussion, and from the tension caused by whiplash. He has prescribed 6 weeks of physical therapy on my neck.
I am relieved on one hand, and hopeful on the other.
But let's not think about headaches right now......it's Christmas for heaven's sake.

There are pies to make, and presents to wrap.
Ay yi yi.
A couple of days, and all the rush will be over. That's just fine with me.

A little music

2011-12-22T19:51:00.000-05:00

In the morning, I want to get out the door and get to the studio ASAP. I have things to do.

My name is Hilary, and I am a workaholic.

It is hard to redirect my energy, to do our walk in the morning. But I knew I would feel better, now and later, if I did.

I bought headphones for my I Phone.....and I have Pandora on it, but I don't use them.
I don't want my head bogged down with any of it.
I want to hear the ducks talking to each other in the canal.

Hear the flapping of their wings when they take off and land.

Hear the crunch of the gravel path under my sneakers.

And I want to hear the sound of Roy's tags as we breeze along the bike path.
It's the sweetest jingle bells ever.

Did someone say 'jingle bells'???

O's perspective.

2011-12-21T21:05:00.000-05:00

OK, maybe tonight is not so good, but I have had three 'nearly' normal days, and it was a break I desperately needed.
So I just have to say 'ouch' and get on with it.

You gotta grab life with both hands, when you have the chance. And hold on.
No matter what.

You have to follow your dreams, go where they lead you.

Sometimes you just have to believe you'll get where you need to be.

Sometimes you have to take a little break, have a cracker or two, and think about it.

But even with cracker on your face, tomorrow is still a brand new day.

The meaning of TWO.

2011-12-20T16:34:00.000-05:00

I am here to tell you that the lyrics you probably remember well.....you know the ones......by Three Dog Night???

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. Two can be as bad as one. It's the loneliest number since the number one.

Well, they just aren't true.......
Cause I've been experiencing a TWO, yesterday and today. And two is pretty wonderful.
It is so good, that I don't even lust for ONE.

A TWO is not a dull meanness like a 3-4, and not a skirmish in your head like a 5-6, and a long damn ways from a 7-8 slammer, and heaven on earth compared to the pure misery of a 9-10.
Yup, folks, my headache has been a TWO, a sweet and almost normal TWO, all day yesterday, and today.

The definition of normal, to me, is not wanting to be headless like Mrs. Olsen.
My dress form has a name, and I'm OK with that.

Of course, I don't know what it means. Is it just a blip on the screen? Or is it the beginning of something marvelous........called NO headache at all.

There is just no way to tell.

But whichever it is, I have had two days where I felt like myself, and after 60 some days of feeling anything but, I have only one thing to say.......

THANK YOU.
I thank God, the Universe, whatever powers that be, I am grateful.

“What day is it?" asked Pooh.

It's today," squeaked Piglet.

My favorite day," said Pooh.”
― A.A. Milne

Hallelujah, and Amen.

Quiet on Sunday

2011-12-18T17:39:00.000-05:00

Today I took a ride over to my friend's house....to help her with the loom I gave her.
She had it half threaded, so we finished it, and she started her rug with the wool from her own sheep.
She is very excited.

What I feel is second nature, is not so easy if you haven't done it before. She'll get it, with a lot of practice.

When we were done, we had lunch. I had requested tuna sandwiches, to which she laughed at.
"Not very extravagant."
Yup, that's me.
Not extravagant at all.
We also had homemade potato leek soup. So good.

I love her house, it is so sunny and open.

She has four cats, and they are very abused and unhappy.

Imagine that.

It was a quiet day, and I tried to keep it that way. A walk with Roy, dinner at home, some reading.
One day at a time.
Grateful for what is, trying to be strong about what isn't.
With all its troubles, it is still a good life.
Amen.

Chillin'

2011-12-17T18:47:00.001-05:00

Does this look familiar???

She thinks it's her job.

My job was to tie the fringe on a stack of Sweet Bottoms.

Then I wove a set of looper place mats.

If the pictures aren't terrific, it's because my camera case was in the car, and I was just too lazy to go after it.
Enter: the Iphone.

I had a lot of ~~interference~~ help no matter what I did.

So the morning was a gift, and I was able to get some things done, but by noon, it was over.
It's like fighting a ghost.

When I was going around turning lights off, getting ready to leave, I noticed Sydney's perch.

By the time I got home, I was ready to hit the couch, close my eyes, and listen to Roy snore under my arm.

I think Sydney was getting ready to do some mischief.
What do you think?

Little successes.

2011-12-16T17:53:00.000-05:00

Bad days, not so bad days. It's a crap shoot. I have to play it by ear. Every day.
There's something to learn here.
I know it.

The other day, L put her first sectional warp on....ALONE.

It had to happen.
Usually, we do them together, and they are pretty uneventful.
But I decided it was time. She needed to do a solo.

Back in the day, I had to teach myself how to sectionally warp. My first attempt wasn't pretty.
Subsequent attempts became easier, but I made a lot of mistakes. And I learned.
Nothing teaches quite as well as experience.

Even though I was in the room with her, I stayed out of it. And she got it done.
She threaded the heddles, and then the reed. It looked pretty good.
Today, when she was weaving on it, she had a couple of issues.....a thread that kept breaking, and some tension problems. Nothing that she couldn't compensate for, just enough to annoy.
But that annoyance is a great teacher.
She'll do it better next time.
And if she is anything like me, she will still make mistakes WAY down the road.
And she'll keep on learning from them.

Another day of quitting early. I had no plans of accomplishing anything else, but I promised Roy a walk.
No matter what.

Somehow the sound of this water, and the sun glinting off it, made me feel good.

Roy would rather pee on trees, than sit still while I admire the falls.

When I head out on our walk, I am not sure I can do it. So I don't think about it. I just do it one step at a time.
That's kind of how I am addressing my life right now, one step at a time.
And when that gets tough, I think of Maine.
Ah.

I cried.

2011-12-14T17:40:00.001-05:00

Ack.
What else to say.
I came home from the studio at noon.
Yup. You guessed it.
Laid on the couch, Nurse Roy came to the rescue.
In desperation, I took 2 Fioricet, even though they have failed to help so far.
I couldn't sleep. I just closed my eyes, and tried to go someplace else.
It wasn't working. Two hours later, I haven't moved.
Is this me?

On the wall, over the double doors to the deck, there is a sign.
(I LOVE SIGNS.)

It says, 'Amazing Grace'.

I got teary.
Teary for my 87 year old mother, who has let her world get so small, she is sometimes a child again.
Teary for my husband, who had a stroke.
For my sweet, sweet Eddie, who left me for someplace better, and sent me Roy, sweet gift.
Teary for someone in my family facing health problems that sometimes seen insurmountable, for a relative of someone dear to me, who is facing cancer.
Teary for a friend, who is slowly watching her husband die.
Teary for abandoned cats, that people think they can 'throw away'.
Teary for dogs in shelters, waiting for homes.
Teary for everything that has made me sad all year long.

And wet faced, I dozed off for a couple of minutes. When I woke up, I took a deep breath, and said, OK.
Enough.
I got up, put my sneakers on, got my coat, Roy's leash, and me and my pain, and Roy, went for a walk.

Hooah.

There is a reason I love pit bulls. Sometimes I have the same mentality.

Three miles, and a whole lot of fresh air later, I felt a smidge better.
A smidge is good.

Negative on the recipe for Greek Honey Cookies.....you know the deal.....if I told ya, I'd have to kill ya.
And I am not a violent person.
love you all though......and all your encouragement, and suggestions, and concern.......not sure what this would be like without you.

Are ya' sick of it yet???

2011-12-13T19:06:00.000-05:00

Me talking about my freaking headache???
Cause I am sick of it, sick of having it, sick of talking about it.
So I decided that I would get you up to date, today. And then I am not talking about it anymore, unless:
1. I get a definitive answer and have a plan.
2. It goes away.
3. My head falls off. Something that you might need to know if you keep coming back here.

So, I went to my second opinion neurologist. He agreed that I have had the Chiari all my life, but he does not think my headaches are being caused by it, and he would NOT do surgery, no way, no how.
He thinks I have post concussion syndrome, and he advised me to go ahead with the CT scan of my sinuses, ordered a couple of weeks ago by my primary, and see a neurologist. He said that a neurologist would help me with the pain.
I was pretty blown away by all this, not that I wanted surgery, but I certainly didn't expect two totally different opinions.
So, I had the CT today, and I have an appt with a neurologist before Christmas.
Other than that, I have decided that this headache is NOT going to rule me. No more.
NOT HAPPENING.
For the last EIGHT weeks it has tried to own me, but I have news.
It doesn't, and it isn't going to.
So there.
End of subject until 1, 2, or 3 take place.
Aren't you relieved? You have to be as bored with it as I am. If you're still there.....hmm.
You are, aren't you?

And a wonderful way to change the subject is with a baby. Don't you agree?
O comes through the door, and whether she is walking, or being carried, the first thing she says, quite clearly, is SYDNEY.
Wearing her Daddy's hat.

She LOVES Sydney. And Sydney looks quite unperturbed, even though O has a good handful of
Sydney's furry self.

Sweetness comes in all sizes.
I don't think anyone could argue that.

Then L and I tried to get some serious work done.
We needed 15 sections on the Union Special, but I apparently miscounted and only did 14.
It was important that it be done right, for a client.

So we tried to get it done another way.
L had left some empty heddles in the middle, so I resleyed, it, and we put some more threads on, and weighted them off the back.
My husband would call this Nicky Hokey.
My father would have said it's a cob job.

What EVER. It worked.

When I left for my appointment, L was weaving away on it, with no difficulties at all.

I guess I am back to SQUARE ONE........but actually that's ok, I know how to do that.
One day at a time.

Just for today

2011-12-11T18:37:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day. High pressure? I don't understand it, but that is the way it is.

When we had a low pressure with two days of rain, the bridge seemed tempting. A full 10.

Today was 'almost' normal, at a 5.

I am grateful. Even for just one day.

So I wove the blue warp off the Union special, and emptied the cupboard that was in this corner under the wall cupboard........and moved the loom into the corner. I think it will work there, and save L and I the awful job of taking it apart and moving it upstairs.

I got a lot done, the porch is full of boxes that I got packed up to go out tomorrow.

I love the studio in the morning.

The house gets this golden glow with the morning sun.

I only worked half a day, but I felt productive. I know how bad I feel when I am not productive, so this was a gift.

Perspective once again.

I have been looking forward to the new year, for long afternoons weaving in a sunny window.

But I may have some recuperating to do before that happens.

The jury is still out on that one.

This afternoon, I put on my 'to the ankle' LLBean goose down coat with a hood, and took Roy for a walk.

I stayed toasty, even though the wind was bitter. It felt good to be outside.

Then, still feeling somewhat productive, I decided to make myself something good to eat.

Being the only non-meat eater in the house can be a challenge.

I made Tofu Fried Rice with Cabbage.

The picture does not do it justice. It was delish.

And oh, so easy.

Recipe below.........you're going to love it.

Now for some loafing on the couch, knitting my fleece stuffed mittens, waiting to watch the Good Wife.
I am grateful for today.

Recipe: Tofu Fried Rice with Cabbage

Cook and chill the rice ahead of time.

1 tblspn vegetable oil
1 package extra firm tofu, drained and cut into 1/2" cubes
3 cups thinly sliced napa (Chinese) cabbage
3 cups chilled cooked long grain rice
3 tablespoons low sodium soy sauce
2 teaspoons dark sesame oil
1/2 cup frozen green peas, thawed.......I used a cup.
2 tablespoons thinly sliced green onions.
1/4 teaspoon salt.

Heat veg oil in large nonstick skillet, add tofu cubes, cook 9 min until golden brown, stirring occas. Remove tofu from pan.
Add cabbage to pan, cook 45 second or until cabbage wilts, stirring constantly.
Stir in rice, soy sauce, and sesame oil. Reduce heat and cook until heated through, stirring occasionally.
Stir in tofu, peas, green onions, and salt, cook 3 min more.
5 servings/1 cup each 226 cal....if you care. I didn't.
It was marvelous, and I will defiinitely make this again.

"As if" and a pattern.

2011-12-10T16:53:00.000-05:00

Mornings are the worst.
Who knew that lying down all night affected the pressure in your head this much.
So when my eyes open, I get up, the sooner the better.
I push myself through morning amenities, starting with the shower. Next is feed the dog, get some tea made.
Once I am up for a while, it gets a little easier. Part of that is the the pressure eases, and the other part is that I think I get used to it.
Acting "as if" is getting me through.
"As if" everything is ok.

So off to the studio I go.

I had a bunch of internet orders to fill, and pack for shipment. I could have left them for Monday, but since I sent out a newsletter with DEALS, there may be more orders by then, and who wants to get behind the 8 ball???
Not I.

I have this pattern that an old nursing pal gave me, a while back. It is for a knitted scarf, where one end goes through the other. I have a few for sale in the shop, and people are always asking me for the pattern.

And since I know that some of you out there are knitters, I thought I would share it with you.
Now, pay attention to the yarn......this is close on your neck, so it needs to be NOT SCRATCHY.
Sounds like a simple thing, but I have made a couple I wouldn't wear. Maybe Roy would like them.

Here it is, for your knitting pleasure.

Scarf

#8 dbl pointed needles

Knitted worsted weight 2 oz

Step 1: Cast on 3 sts.

Step 2: Increase 1 st in the 2nd st of every row until there are 32 st. KNIT every row.

Step 3: Knit 15 rows.

Step 4: K1, slip 1 onto 3rd needle, K1, slip 1, continue this across ros.

Step 5: K1, P1 rib for 3" on front needle.

Step 6: K1, P1 rib for 3" on back needle.

Step 7: K2 tog (1 from each needle) continue across row (24 sts)

Step 8: K straight for 12"

Step 9: K1, K2 tog across row ending with K2. (16 sts)

Step 10: K1, P1 ribbing for 3".

Step 11: Increase 1 st every stitch across row.

Step 12: Knit 15 rows

Step 13: Dec 1 st in 2nd st of every row until 3 sts remain.

Step 14: Bind off.

3" ribbing =12 rows

12" knit = 93 rows

It is so simple, and it is guaranteed to make you look talented. It has worked for me.

Acting "as if", means going back to basics.

'And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation-some fact of my life-unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. '
( From the BIG BOOK )

And I am perfect, just the way I am, malformation and all.

Take that, Chiari.

Bits of normal

2011-12-09T14:45:00.000-05:00

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about 'normal'. I guess wanting my life to be like it used to be, before the headache, has inspired that train of thought.
So I found myself mulling over things that felt good in my regular, maybe somewhat boring, life.
Things I love.

Having lunch with a good friend, while dropping off rugs to a customer, in this case, the Vermont Country Store.

Wondering if Sydney was smart enough to realize that if she laid her fat self on the room temp probe to the pellet stove, that the heat would go off, and the room would get cold.

See it??? Right under her head.

Late afternoon sun..........the golden glow.

Twinkling white lights.

Stones, in any formation.

Walking along the river.

Looms, lots of looms.

Pups, best friends.

And my family, of course.

Today is my mother's 87th birthday.

My mother, sometimes 87, sometimes 7, sometimes in between.

I guess right now, I am trying to make sense of it all.

I'm already in the mood to drink to 2012.

How about you?

Before the headache

2011-12-08T16:36:00.002-05:00

Not long ago, the Times Union, the main newspaper in Albany, NY, called me about doing an article for their magazine, called Life at Home.
Two people came, on different days.
First the photographer came, and took LOTS of photos. And he wanted to do a video.
ACK!!!!
But I agreed, after all, who in their right mind turns down FREE PRESS???
Not I.

Several days later, the writer showed up, and interviewed me. The article will appear in the January issue of Life at Home.
But today, I got an email, telling me the video is on their Facebook page.
So without further ado, here is ME, before the freaking headache, looking and acting normal.
Well, normal for me.
So stop complaining that I never post pictures of myself.
This oughta last you a long time.
Jokes aside, he did a great job.

News.

2011-12-07T20:12:00.000-05:00

Finally, today came. My appointment with the neurosurgeon, a 3 hour drive from my house.

I told my daughter that if I didn't get an answer, I might be looking to jump off the Tappanzee bridge, but look at all this traffic, in the rain. Both would make jumping very difficult.

Anyway, forget the jumping. In spite of a couple of really rough days, I am not ready to jump.

Before my appointment, we went to Whole Foods, one of my favorite places. I had brought my cooler bag with me, and then we ate lunch there.

I am so lucky .....and grateful for my family. They mean so much to me.
They mean everything.

Then after struggling to get there, through tons of construction, we made it to the waiting room.
I will not lie. My nerves were fried.

The doctor I came to see has incredible credentials, but you would have to have to do what he does.
He had the MRI of my head on a huge screen behind his desk, and he pointed out the Chiari Malformation.
One of my sweet daughters, I have three, asked him how mine compared to others he had seen.
He said, "Oh, this is the REAL MCCOY."
Uh, wait a minute.........what?????
Anyway, he explained it all, and bottom line is what I thought, this can be fixed. I might not have a good time, but I will most likely enjoy the outcome.
He still has me getting more films of my neck, since it seems that my neuro exam showed that I have a compression of my spinal cord....and he wants to know where.
Bad news: no headache relief until surgery. So I have to get through the necessary steps, and then we'll get to that.
Maybe it will be my Christmas present.
Pain relief. Don't bother with the gift wrap. I'll take it straight up.

Yum yum

2011-12-05T18:51:00.001-05:00

Using the random integer........#15 was the winner of the Greek honey cookies, and that means that Lynn, of Dakota Quilter, is the recipient of my sweet addiction.
Address please!!!

Today was back to our regular schedule.......we have a list of things to be done. Some orders and some reorganization of the 'shipping area'. There is always something.
But the show from HELL is behind us, and the Christmas in the Country is done for another year. This is the time of year, when I start to think about the weaving I want to do.....new patterns, new colors, new textures. When the snow is falling, and the pellet stove is roaring, I hope to be taking time to explore my weaving dreams.
With any luck, without this headache.
Amen.

A winner and another giveaway..really.

2011-12-04T18:30:00.000-05:00

There were 32 comments on the Cookies and a Giveaway post.

To figure out who won the garland, I used this:

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

Timestamp: 2011-12-04 22:23:21 UTC

THE WINNER IS....................STICKHORSECOWGIRLS.
Hmm.....seems this blog is TWO people, so I don't know how they will figure that out, but I am
sure they will.
All I need is an address, and I will send out your garland. Yay. Congrats!!!
I would love to see a photo of the garland in its new home.

Today was the last day of the Christmas in the Country Tour......and I must say I am amazed at how profitable it was. I didn't expect it to be. No snow, and a lousy economy. But I was wrong, and I am happy to admit it.
I got through it with my headache, and I am not sure how. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, for the first time in weeks, my headache receded to a 4-5. That may sound awful, but truly, it is once again, all in the perspective. It was DOABLE. Do you know how sweet doable can be????
Trust me. Sweet.
Then yesterday, about half way through the day, it changed, from a 4, to a full 10. OUCH.
OUCH. OUCH. What else can I say?
It just started to let up, after 30 hours.
I can't wait to see the neurosurgeon this week. Did I just say that?
Who is anxious to see a NEUROSURGEON?

I'll tell ya who.......someone who has had a headache 24/7 for SIX weeks. That's who.

Sold this 4'x6' rug today, to a lady who lives just down the road from the studio.

I can't tell you how much that means, to have regular customers who live right in Kingsbury. They have embraced Crazy as a Loom in a way that is encouraging and uplifting.

Getting ready for the Country Christmas gets the studio all clean and organized, and this time it has spurred me on in my attempts to 'open up' space. The loom that was here is just visible off to the right, and SOON L and I will be moving it upstairs to the front bedroom. This will allow me to leave this display up, if I want to, or if not, it might be a good place for a small table. But at any rate, the room will not look so crowded, and it feels 'just right'.

Sunday is usually the quietest day of the tour, and since I was alone today, I had occasional spots of solitude.....which was nice. As the afternoon sun casts long shadows on the porch, I began to tidy up, getting ready to go home.

I tried to make just the right amount of Greek honey cookies, not too many, not too few. I came pretty close this time, but I do have some left over.
So.............what do you say????
One more giveaway, for a few luscious, divine Greek honey cookies???? It will keep me and L from eating them all.........and believe me, we don't need them.
So be a follower, leave a comment, and I will send you some cookies.......since we don't want to waste any time.....I will draw a number tomorrow night....Monday, Dec 5th.
I know you're gonna love 'em.

Commentary

2011-12-03T19:23:00.000-05:00

What???? Do I hear cars pulling in????? Again today????

You're kidding, right?????

Don't forget to tell them that I scratch. That's all I got to say.

Just plain sweet.

2011-12-02T18:52:00.001-05:00

As it gets a little colder in the northeast, everyone is looking to block out those cold drafts.

How better, than a Solmate sock draft stopper??

They come in short, and medium, but they are all colorful and solid.

Several of them found new homes today. They are sure to keep you warmer.
Sweet.

Early, before the shoppers arrived, we had company. The cutest company ever.

O........, are you going to do some weaving???

Really??????

You didn't !!!!!

You did?????

Well, before you go, make sure you say goodbye to Sydney.

Just one kiss.

And a little hug.

How am I doing???

After this sweet start to our day, we got busy with the Christmas in the Country.

Did I mention Greek Honey cookies???

How could I forget them? My December addiction.

Sweet.

Ready

2011-12-01T17:15:00.000-05:00

Someone is listening.

And someone isn't.

Ain't that always the way??
Kind of like you win some, and you lose some.

I think we are ready for the Christmas in the Country Open House, which starts tomorrow.

I am happy with the way the studio looks, and happy that my headache let up enough to let me get it done. I wonder if it has something to do with the barometric pressure. But whatever it is, two days of half a headache is better than a WHOLE headache.
I'll take it.

In some ways, the Open House is a good way to get the place all spiffed up. Having a deadline makes it happen.

It also helps me to get a feel for how much inventory I really have.

I know that I am anxious to get back to work, and back to normal.

Someone is tired from all this work.

Sydney, Sydney, you 're a piece of work.

Cookies and a Giveaway.

2011-11-30T20:25:00.001-05:00

Yup, crazy but true. I made 16 dozen Greek cookies today.
(left to right...Bonnie, L, and me flipping my cookies.....really)

Today was a miracle of sorts, headache low and dull, just there.
Amazing how grateful you can be for "just that', instead of a slammer, a screamer, a headache that makes you want to sit down and cry.

My dear friend, Bonnie, spent all day organizing my many cones of yarn........no, this is not all of it.......this is just all that would fit on the living room shelves.
I love what she did here....all the whites on the right, and then all the color families together. What a job........!!!!!!
She laughed and asked me how long I could keep it that way..........it looks so nice, I will certainly try.

A friend of my daughter's made these sweet little guys.

They remind me of puffles.

We hung them on a little tree.........

I didn't take as many pictures as I wanted to today, cookies took up my whole day. L stuffed our 'sock draft stoppers'.........photo coming.
We are really almost ready for the Open House.......finishing touches tomorrow.

Oh, and a giveaway, Di over at Blue Ridge gave me the idea with hers, and besides, Christmas is coming....it just feels right!
So....if you remember my crazy garlands from last year.........

A garland is the giveaway.......all you have to be is a follower, and leave a comment. I will announce the winner on Sunday the 4th, when the Christmas in Country is OVER, about 8pm or so.
The garlands are made from leftover bits from the Solmate sock rugs.....they are bright, and squeezable...they don't break, and the lights come with the garland.
You can hang it over the fireplace, over a door, anywhere you want.

Funny story: Roy is a sweetheart, but he doesn't like us to leave him. Guess he's been left before in his life, and doesn't trust us to come back, still.
So he occasionally puts a sneaker on the couch while we are gone, just to make a statement.
Last week, he took a skein of yarn and when I walked in at the end of the day, he was laying on the chaise lounge with it between his paws...smiling at me I swear. It was a little more than tangled.
So late this afternoon, I was sitting on the couch, untangling the yarn. When DH, and my mother, and I all left a little later, I put the yarn in what I thought was a safe place.
We weren't gone an hour, and when we came back, the yarn was strewn down the hallway, and into my mother's apartment.
DH's size 13 shoe was on the couch, along with his leash and his Easy Walker.
When I said, "Roy!" he ran upstairs and jumped into bed.

Now Roy can't talk, but honestly, does he need to???

Moving forward.

2011-11-29T18:47:00.001-05:00

Tell me you can't see the disgusted look on this girl's face??

Doesn't she look like she is saying: "Are you kidding me??"

We were organizing the studio today, in preparation for the Christmas in the Country three day weekend tour, which starts Friday. Jinx does not like the commotion.

I had considered putting one of those yellow crime ribbons across the driveway, and just not opening for it. But then I said, nope.....not giving in to this headache. I will keep it low key, and just do what I have to do to make it happen, and no more.
So today, L and I started with one room, and organized and decorated our way around the house. By lunch time, my headache had dulled to a roar, and by 3pm, I was amazed at how much we had accomplished.
We make a great team.

Sydney was in attendance every room, and she is not one bit intimidated by any commotion.

We set up displays, hung lights, moved some furniture around.........the place looks great.

Tomorrow is time to make the cookies, Greek honey cookies that is. We have a few small chores to do, nothing too difficult, and that is just fine with me.
I am still struggling with how unproductive I have been over the past two months. I have not felt myself at all, and it has been very difficult.
I am ready to get some answers, and do whatever it takes to get back to normal.
Normal...., good grief, that sounds good.

Waiting for confirmation of an appointment with a neurosurgeon, maybe as soon as Monday.
Hallelujah.
Thanks for all your encouragement, and for just being here.
I count on it, ya' know.
You're all just too much.........and I am grateful!

Head games.

2011-11-28T19:57:00.000-05:00

How about a Walking on Sunshine table runner? One of L's brain storms, when I wasn't looking.
I think it's a keeper though, don't you?

Speaking of brains, it was a rough weekend here in northeast NY.......I am amazed that my head is still on my shoulders. It should have exploded by now.

I know you are all waiting for some resolution, and I wish I had one to tell you about.

I don't.

What I do have is a clue, and a little information, and I will share that with you.

My MRI showed that I have a Chiari Malformation. What that means is this:

Normally the cerebellum and parts of the brain stem sit in an indented space at the lower rear of the skull, above the foramen magnum ( a funnel-like opening to the spinal canal). When part of the cerebellum is located below the foramen magnum, in other words, it is pushed downward into the foramen magnum and the upper spinal canal, it is called a Chiari malformation.

Some people are born with it.

Adults can come up with it for various reasons.

I did a little google search, and found this.

While it has long been known that whiplash can cause injuries to the cervical spine, a new study published in the July issue of the journal Brain Injury, ("Chiari and Whiplash Injury," co-authored by Ezriel E. Kornel, M.D. F.A.C.S., Michael D. Freeman, Ph.D., and others) shows that whiplash may also cause anatomical changes that can result in brain injury.

The study, one of the few to look at the connection between whiplash and brain injury, examined the MRI scans of 1200 neck pain patients and found that those patients suffering from whiplash were more likely to have anatomical changes to the brain resulting in brain injury, specifically, a herniation of the brain called Chiari malformation, in which the bottom part of the brain (the cerebellum) dips through an opening in the base of the skull after a whiplash injury. Preliminary findings showed that brain injury occurred in 23% of the whiplash cases studied.

According to Dr. Kornel, a principal with Brain & Spine Surgeons of New York in White Plains, N.Y., "This condition can be quite painful and endanger the patient's health, with symptoms that may include headaches, neck pain, upper extremity numbness and tingling, and weakness.

Bottom line, I guess I didn't get away with that flip in the air, and that crack to the back of my head, back in August. Now I need to get in to see a neurologist, to find out what to do about it, and to find out if, in fact, this is the cause of my headaches.

It sure sounds like it to me.

I am trying to concentrate on what is right in front of me, and take this a step at a time.

Carefully.

Friends

2011-11-26T17:45:00.002-05:00

I love your comments. They make me smile, sometimes laugh out loud. Sometimes your concern brings a tear to my eye. It never fails to amaze me, how many friends I have made since I started this blog four years ago.
( although the first year I am pretty sure I was talking to myself)

How to define 'friend'?
We think we know, and then out of the blue, you find out that there are all kinds of friends, people who send you good energy when you need it, people you have never met.

Years ago, when I first started weaving, and needed help, I turned to the internet. There were no weavers to go to locally, so I started asking questions on an online forum. That's where I met Shirley, a weaver all her life, who was old enough to be my mother. It started out with sporadic emails, but soon we were in touch almost every day, by email, and sometimes by phone. She was a 'character'.....that's for sure. Her best friends called her Flossie, and I soon became one of them.
She was full of information, which she freely shared, and she never minded my endless questions. Eventually, when DH and I went to Tennessee to visit his son, we made a side trip to meet her.
We hit it off in person, just like we had online. She felt like someone I had known my whole life.
The next year, she came to New York, and stayed for a week. She loved the studio, and we did a lot of weaving, and a lot of laughing.
When she died a few years ago, I grieved for her. And I missed her. Some days, I feel her hovering around, and I say her name out loud. I tell her that I wish she hadn't gone so soon. And I weave knowing that she helped me get to where I am.

Another friend, and mentor to this day, was also met online. Chris, of Homestead Weaver answered my many questions in the beginning, and still answers them to this day. She is a better weaver than I, and knows more than I will probably ever know. And we've become good friends. I have enormous respect for her, and I am grateful for everything she has taught me.
When someone out of the blue emails or calls to pick my brain about weaving, I pay it forward every time.
Friends. Yup, you just never know where they are coming from. You just got to have gratitude.

Today L and I took one of my Union Customs apart, and loaded it into the back of my car. I drove it through the countryside, to my friend's house. She has a small studio that sits out in her yard, and has wanted a loom for a long time.
It seemed a simple equation. I have too many looms....yes, I really said that. And she wanted JUST ONE.
I will go over soon to help her put a warp on it.

Every now and then, I stopped to take a picture that called out to me.

It wasn't a good day, headache wise. I decided to swear a whole bunch to myself, and keep on keeping on.
I have to get through the weekend, and Monday morning I will be sitting in the waiting room of dear doctor..........uh, results???

I am pleased to have the living room of the studio somewhat uncluttered. Not sure if it is feng shui or what........but it feels so good.
I am aiming to un-clutter the studio, then my home, and ultimately my life.

As soon as I get rid of the monster behind my eyes.

What brain?

2011-11-25T14:35:00.000-05:00

Did you eat too much??? Like I did???
Ugh.
It was all too delicious.
I brought my Quorn turkey loaf, and it was made fun of. But even the ones making the jokes had to admit that it tasted pretty darn good, and the texture was even close to real turkey.
I liked it, and if you put a little gravy on it, you would not even know that it was not the 'once' live bird.

See, that's where I have the problem. The 'once' live part. I am so comfortable with not eating meat anymore, it surprises even me.
I also made a Pear and Red Onion Gratin, recipe HERE that totally boggled everyone. It is definitely different, I loved it, and my mother maintains that a foreigner must have come up with it.

Anyway, the headache remained low key throughout the day, which I was grateful for. But as soon as I went to sleep last night, the headache increased enough to wake me up. THAT is disturbing.
So when the doctor's office called this morning, to tell me that my MRI was scheduled for Tuesday at 8am, I was both happy, and distressed. Tuesday? Really?
So I took L's advice.........the squeaky wheel gets the grease......and I called the imaging center, and told them the simple truth. "I have had a headache for 5 weeks now."
How about today at 1pm?? Can you do that???
Uh, yeah. With bells on. I'll be there.

As soon as they rolled me into the MRI machine, and I saw how close it was to my face, I slammed my eyes shut. Seriously. And I promised myself that no matter what, I would NOT open them while I was in there. I imagined they were GLUED shut. I don't think you have to be claustrophobic to NOT LIKE THAT. And I couldn't take the chance of screwing this test up, so I made the hugest effort I could to take myself somewhere else.....anywhere else. The noise was deafening. Thuds, and horns, and bumps. Crazy.
If you didn't have a headache, not to worry, you would have one when you got out.
But the test was completed, and I was rolled out into the open. Then, and only then, I opened my eyes, and for some reason, the tears rolled down my face.
What a wimp, eh?
Well, it is what it is today. For sure. I will admit to being beat down a bit by this pain.

I managed a walk for Roy, and for me.

It was not as cold as it looked.

And I find, that my headache loses its power over me, if I keep moving. The truth is, it's hard to get going, but I know that if I do, I can push the headache back a notch. Other things take center stage.
Roy. Fresh air. Walking. Being alive. Being grateful.

Then Roy took his nap in the sun.

At times, I can't believe this is happening. A headache for 5 weeks? It seems impossible to me, and yet I know that it is true. It is real. There has to be a reason, right?
What really scares me, is when I mentally make that list of what might be causing this monster to have taken up residence right behind my eyes.
And then I think, what if they don't find the reason?? And the headaches just go on, and on?

Right now, I am choosing not to think about it. I can't.
Maybe I'll think about it tomorrow.
After all, says Scarlett, tomorrow is another day.

Back again.

2011-11-23T15:40:00.000-05:00

As you know, I have had some relief from the headaches for about a week, since I started back with the chiropractor. They were present, dull, low key, but not debilitating. That is, until last night.

It hit about 8pm, and eventually became the worst headache of all. Advil did not touch it, nor did the heating pad on my neck, the hot tub, or sleep.
In fact, sleep was sketchy, the pain kept waking me up.
So as soon as the doctor's office opened, I was on the phone. They took me in mid morning.
I figured it was time to go BACK to my regular doctor, and say, HEY. We need to get to the bottom of this. It ain't right.
So he sent me off to the hospital for lab work, testing all kinds of stuff, including lyme disease, rheumatoid arthritis, and lupus. And he is working hard to schedule an MRI. Unfortunately, it isn't easy to do the day before Thanksgiving, but if it doesn't happen today, it said he would shoot for Friday.
He also gave me a prescription for Fioricet, which though addictive, is usually good for headaches.
KEY WORD. USUALLY.
I might as well have taken an M & M. In fact, I would have rather.
It didn't touch this screaming, pounding, monster behind my eyes.
After a few restless hours on the couch, I gave up.
Even though I had a nurse.

He stayed like this, with his head buried under my arm, for 2 hours.

Until I decided that I would make pies, since my head was about to burst anyway, how could it hurt. If I could get through it, I would.
And in fact, I think it took my mind off it for a little bit. Once I got into the process I knew I could get them done: an apple pie, a pumpkin, a chocolate cream, all ordered specifically by one family member or another.
So one way or another, we are going to get to the bottom of this pain, sooner than later I hope.

In the meantime, I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving.
I'll keep you posted.

My Inner Critic

2011-11-22T20:53:00.000-05:00

Everyone has one. Don't they?
You know who I mean. That little voice in your head, the one that tells you you don't do enough, or you aren't good enough. The one that you would sometimes like to turn off.
Mine can be a real bitch. I mean it.
She hounds me sometimes. Pushes me. Just about drives me wild.
She always has.
She always wants me to work harder, do more, be stronger. She would like me to give up sleeping, so I could get even more done.
She nags me too. Like when I eat potato chips. And I LOVE potato chips, no matter how bad they are for you.
She would have me eating salads and fruit exclusively.

She groans and moans if I watch trashy TV.
When I walk 3 miles, she thinks I should have gone for 4.
Why is it never enough for her????? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

Since I felt pretty stupid about my decision to do that awful show this weekend, inner critic had a field day.
Can't ya just hear her???
Even turning the music up on my Iphone didn't drown her out.
So I walked 4 miles on Saturday.

And four miles again on Sunday!!! I love walking on this path, the canal on one side, and the river on the other.
Even with the little voice.

She has her good points. A lot of my success in life has been at her urging. She hasn't let me rest on my laurels, ever.
But today, I have news for her.
Bad news.

Don't hate me, I.C., but we're paring down here. Can't ya feel it?? There's a new breeze blowing.
Time to refocus, regroup, time to take a deep breath, and slow. it. down.
You can keep talking, but change the subject. OK?

Ah.

2011-11-21T21:22:00.000-05:00

Before this disaster of a show, L and I were working hard to get lots of stock ready for it.
Sweet Bottoms chair pads were part of what we were working on.
We have a STACK of them. So now, I can put them on my web site.
Somewhere off in the distance, I can hear that song playing, AAAAAAAT LASTTTTTTTT.
I know, I am a bit off my rocker.
It's ok.
I don't think it's terminal.

I do love these. They make me smile.

I don't get sick of seeing them.
So that's why I'm posting pics of them again.
I know I risk boring you all, but I figure maybe all these vibrant colors might perk you up too.
That is, if your life is as boring as mine.

Don't get me wrong, boring is good. I longed for boring, day to day, normal, all weekend.
And I have especially wanted normal since the beginning of the 'headache'.

To update the headache saga.......I am going to the chiropractor three times a week.
And today I got my new glasses........the headache is not gone, but it doesn't rule me.
As if it could, right?
Actually, yeah, it can. And it does.
It's hell sometimes to be reminded of how fragile 'normal' really is.

Oh, yeah, these are Chunky Solmate Sock rugs, and they TOO will now be for sale on my web site, since we didn't sell even ONE at the ~~Crap~~ Craft Show.
I should have put a sign up, "Made in China", I probably would have been overrun.

Today was crazy busy, sending out orders that came in over the weekend, putting all the product back on the shelves, catching up on paper work, and taking delivery on 46 boxes of socks.

It was a wild day, but tomorrow is going to be peaceful. We are going to weave, and take a huge deep breath.

Oh, well.

2011-11-19T16:38:00.000-05:00

You've heard me talking about the Country Folk Art Craft Show that is on this weekend. Lois and I have been working hard for weeks, getting ready for it. I had high hopes that it would be a good show, and that we would sell lots of product.
DH and I went to Troy, about an hour away, on Thursday night, to set up the booth. Then yesterday L and I went down early afternoon, to drag all the product down there, and to set up the booth. It is NOT an easy task. Rugs are heavy, the booth sides are heavy, and it takes a lot of coordinating.
The show last night was 5-9, but long before it started, I had an uneasy feeling. All the vendors I saw on our way in, were heavily 'buy/sell'. In other words, they didn't make any of their product.
Boxes and boxes of stuff, MADE ANYWHERE BUT IN THE USA. Knives, no bake cheesecake mixes, sticks and trees and wooden things with lights, fake wreaths with fake owls stuck in them, roasted nuts, loaves and loaves of bread marked PENNSYLVANIA .......as in 'Amish', but the stuff in my grocery deli looks better. There were tee shirts, and hats with faces, ice scrapers, cheap jewelry, ah....the list goes on.
There were, of course, a few nice things. But overall, the show was dark, and depressing, to me.
I was pretty sure I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

When the show started, it was pretty evident that I was right. A few lovely people were impressed, and loved everything, they 'got it'. They understood that they were looking at hand crafted goods, made by me (and L). Made the old fashioned way.
But most people cruised right on by, and occasionally looked in as if to say, "What are you doing here?"

They were looking for the $5-$15 item, and sorry, but some of the tacky stuff people were dragging around with them was just plain embarrassing.

I was disappointed, but not devastated, to quote L's response to all this, "Buck up."
And I did.
I drove home late last night, fell into bed, and got up early so I could take all the extras that we had loaded in my car, back to the studio.

Then when I got to the show this morning at 10am, I quickly loaded all the extras we had under the tables, into my car, for the ride home today. I knew that it was highly unlikely that we would sell them, so to take them home before the end of the show on Sunday, meant a quicker, less painful, take down then.

I doubt much that I will make the $580 booth fee. So lesson learned.
I should have scoped out this show last year. If I had, I would have known it was not the place for me.
Instead, I put myself, and a few other people through this annoyance.

My lovely middle daughter came to the show today, and said to me, "Go home. I got this covered."
Dear sweet girl, and sweet granddaughter. So I did just that. I took stuff back to the studio, I dropped in on a surprise birthday party for an old friend's daughter, and then I took Roy for a 4 miler.
Roy is wearing his "Easy Walker".....which he and I both LOVE. Thanks to Karen over at THISOLDHOUSE for suggesting it. I highly recommend it, and must admit to being totally shocked at how well it worked.

So, hey. I screwed up. I admit it. I made a poor decision, and it just didn't work out. But you know what??? It's ok. I'm human. I tried, and now I know. I'll take the lesson, and move on.

Times like this, I am inspired to rethink things, and regroup. I am suddenly so grateful for what I do know, and what I do have, and who I am.
Tomorrow, the last day of this foolishness, will come, and go.
Monday is the start of a new week, and a new mindset. Which is good, because soon will come a new year, and I want to meet it joyfully.

Life is a process, and I have to be satisfied that I will never get it perfect, I will just give it my best shot.

Geekdom

2011-11-16T19:36:00.000-05:00

I aspire to it.
Geekdom.
I am so envious of people who are REALLY computer savvy.
Although I will admit that I try. My kids laugh at my nerdiness......I think they expect someone my age to be resistant to technology, not smitten with it.

I wanted a wireless credit card machine, until I called the bank, and found out that they cost around $800.
I crossed that off my list. But I still figured that there was another way. So I googled.

And I found SQUARE, a different way to process credit cards. And all I needed was a new phone.
Well, THAT was easy, since I have been lusting after the new Iphone, ANYWAY.

So off I went to the Verizon store, and ordered up my new Iphone 4S.
Which came in the mail. I got it in white.

I downloaded the app for Square in about 3 minutes.

Square was free to sign up for, and they sent me the attachment that I needed, for NADA.

The attachment plugs in to the top of your phone, and you swipe the credit card through it.

Once you've swiped the card, the screen asks for the amount, and gives you a place to sign it, with your finger.

Once the sale is complete, it asks you if you want a receipt texted to your phone, or emailed to you.
You get to put in the cell phone number, or your email address.
We have taken a test drive with it, and the receipt comes to you almost immediately. The money is deposited into my business account, and they charge 2.75% for each swipe. There are no other fees.

I LOVE IT. Easy, and problem solved. No more keying in credit card sales the day after a show, wondering if all the cards were valid. They usually are, but it is nice to know up front.

I have had a few cell phones, but this is my fave. I love this new Iphone. It is the easiest one I have ever used.
NOW if I could only get my Icloud to work.
Guess I will have to wait for my 14 year old grandson to figure it out for me.

Just in case you thought I knew it all.
Ha!!!!

Forging ahead.

2011-11-15T18:29:00.000-05:00

These things I know:

Sometimes you have to be your own best advocate when it comes to your health. The MRI is still not approved, and by the time it is, I may find out I don't need it.

Today was the BEST DAY I have had in ONE month. Hallelujah, and AMEN. My chiropractor is my brand new hero. He is the best. I am going twice more this week. Heating pad on my neck as I type. Flexeril waiting for my bedtime.

My headache is low grade, totally bearable, and I am a happy camper.

My gut feeling to get my eyes checked turned out to be a good one. I went today at 3:30, and was shocked to find that my left eye has changed dramatically, from 20/20 to 20/60. Could that have contributed to this headache......oh, yeah.
So I ordered new glasses, and I have to search the house for my MANY old pairs of glasses that I put on whenever I feel so moved. I will pick at least one pair I really like, and get new lenses put in them. It never hurts to have a spare pair anyway.

I was actually somewhat productive today. OMG, it felt SO good. SO normal.

I pray that this is the way to get back there.....to normal. I took my day to day routine for granted, until it was unavailable to me on so many levels.

Then I knew what I was missing.

Today I felt the beginnings of excitement about just being at the studio, something I honestly have not had since this headache started.

A little voice in my head keeps saying, "Whiplash. Seriously. Who knew?"

A little jaunt.

2011-11-14T19:18:00.000-05:00

A good friend of mine is building a little house.

It used to be her gift shop, but she is turning it into a place to live.

It overlooks 10 acres of wildflowers, that she has spent years planting.

The cottage will be small, but the 12 foot ceilings will make it seem larger.

The views are lovely from every direction.

She is very excited to have her own place.
I'm excited for her.

Today I decided to take this headache in line. If the prednisone didn't help, and it didn't, then the source of my misery is NOT my sinuses, or allergies. Per the ENT.

I made an appointment to get my eyes checked, tomorrow. It seems a simple thing, but you never know, and I would rather cross that off my list of possible headache causes.

And this morning, early, I called my chiropractor. He took me in. After I told him my story, he said he had a diagnosis for me: dumb-ass-itis.

"WHY didn't you come in right after you snapped your neck and got a concussion????" He's young enough to be my son, but I totally trust him.

Hmm.

Good question.

So he gently manipulated my neck, and put the magic electrodes on my back. I left feeling better, my headache just a rumble.

I think Karen of This Old House might be on to something. I came home and found some Flexeril, and took one. Slapped the heating pad on my neck, did my neck exercises, and tonight my headache is STILL THERE, but bearable.

I am still going to have the MRI, as soon as it is APPROVED. Red tape, ya' know.

When I left my friend's, I drove by my old workplace.
It's right on the way.
I didn't notice the "ENTER" sign, until I saw the picture.

Appropos, though, for a maximum security prison.................'enter'.........'c'mon in'..........there's room at the inn.

The hospital area was dead center of this complex, so you had to walk half way through the jail to get there.

And there's this lovely WALL around the whole perimeter.

Razor wire, towers, gas and guns, all the extras to make a house a home.
Or something.

There's razor wire everywhere, you just have to look. I hope mine goes away, soon.

Keepin' on.

2011-11-13T18:02:00.000-05:00

By this afternoon, the headache had me firmly in its grip, so I hit the couch.

I had company.

I always have company.

Do I bless the day this boy came into my life???

You bet I do.

Let's hear it for dog rescues. You think you are rescuing the dog, but the truth is somewhat different.

He sure knows how to get comfortable. And that's a fact.

I will be calling to schedule my MRI first thing tomorrow morning. This is just plain ridiculous.

After a little rest, I pushed myself out the door. I figured a little fresh air wouldn't hurt me, and my head will ache either way, prone or upright.
So let's do it.

I am happy if I can inspire you all to get moving, if you need to.
I figure if I can walk 20 miles a week, at age 64, then there is a good chance that when I hit the BIG SEVEN-O, I will still be making some effort.
My inspiration is watching my mother, who has never, ever tried to keep moving. She gardened, but anything that smacked of aerobic activity was pretty much a no go for her. Unfortunately, there is arthritis on both sides of my family tree.
She walks like Groucho Marx, most of the time.
When I chide her to please straighten up, she gives me that look that you see sometimes on an old person's face, you know the one. Eyebrows raised, eyes glassy, the look that says, "Are you speaking English?"
But then she actually does straighten right up. She CAN do it. She just doesn't want to be bothered.
And because she is so sedentary, now she can barely walk any distance at all without a lot of pain.
I gave up long ago ranting about how arthritis pain gets BETTER with activity. She doesn't believe me.

The important thing is, for me, that I believe it. I know it's true. The more I move, the better it feels.
So I fully intend to keep on doing it.
The November light is different, but it was incredibly warm, and a lovely day to walk.

Roy is my walking partner, like Eddie was, and there will be others. There will always be a walking dog in my life.

I will rescue them.

And they will rescue me.

We will walk along the Hudson River, and watch the sunlight fade.
And it will be an incredible trade off.
Just sayin'.

FB and food.

2011-11-12T14:52:00.000-05:00

I swear there are days, when I am tempted to delete Facebook from my computer. Yes, it does keep you in touch with people, and makes it easy to keep up with what is going on. Yes, it is a great way to share pictures, and ideas, and energy. But there is a LOT of not so great stuff passed around, and if you ask me, just plain STUPID stuff.
But there I go, being annoyed again.
Headache is better, but still present. I am seeing improvement though, and I am heeding any and all advice about cooling my heels, and getting better. Believe it....I am.

But back to FB.
There was this picture, of the President, and Bill Richardson and Hillary Clinton. The President does not have his hand over his heart, and the other two do. The mean and denigrating comments on FB were
aimed at this, saying that he refused to do it while the pledge of allegiance was being said. The truth of the matter is HERE
They were actually singing the Star Spangled Banner at the time.
What the hell???? Are people so bored, that they have to FIND things to use against him???
And then take the time to put it on FB. Really?

Grow up is what I want to scream. Start by changing yourself. Be a better person. Work harder. Be kinder. Stop bitching and finding fault, and be part of the solution, not the problem.

Then, someone posted a picture of a cemetery, a military one I am assuming, with an EAGLE sitting on a gravestone. And then a million comments about how touching and meaningful it is.
I'm like.......what? You really believe that an EAGLE came down and sat 2 feet off the ground, on a grave marker? You don't have PHOTOSHOP where you live? Do you live under a bucket????
How about the postings on FB to save a dog, or a cat, from a life of hell???
What, NO COMMENTS?

Whew. I am exhausted.
I have to stay off FB for awhile.

Hey, maybe it's the headache. Or the prednisone.
Or maybe not.
I hope I didn't offend anyone with my rant. But I feel better now.

I am eating everything in sight, thank you Mr. Prednisone.
But walking might keep me from blowing up like the Michelin man.
It was cold this morning, but lovely all the same.

I am listening, to all of you, and to this little voice in my head.
Ah, yes, secondary gain from what life delivers you. Thank you, Spindrift. You are so right on.
And little birds in Florida warning me about my 'risky behavior'. Good friends tell you what you need to hear.

Today, walking along this very bike path, listening to James Taylor singing Walking Man, I thought that probably Roy saved my life 4 months ago. Even though grief is what brought him into my life, losing my sweet Eddie, Roy has moved me to push myself out of my comfort zone. Before he came along, I might have walked 2 miles a week accidentally, a long way from the miles I used to run 20 years ago.
But since June, we have logged in 20+ every single week since. It has not only improved by endurance, and made me feel more comfortable in my own skin, but it has allowed me time to center, and focus.
Time to just be. How often do we do that?

So between Sweet Boy Roy, and the October/November headache, I think I may rewrite the script a little. Our life stories can be a lot like pizza. Pepperoni and mushrooms can be a wonderful chapter, but if you never try that spinach, mushroom, pesto and fresh mozzarella side, well, hey........you might miss the best part, something phenomenal.

OMG, that is making me so hungry.

I'm here.

2011-11-11T20:04:00.000-05:00

Just one question. Why would anyone plant juniper bushes all along your sidewalk, when they so distinctly smell of cat pee???

Am I missing something????

Every now and then, don’t you QUESTION the sense of things???

Seriously.

Like the woman in Stewart’s whose credit card was DECLINED when she tried to buy ONE pack of cigarettes. For nearly $10.

Is it time to quit, folks? Huh?

Just wondering.

Of course it could be that I was already so annoyed, and that’s why I was bothered in the first place.

Or maybe some things are just so inherently dumb, that they can’t be avoided on any level.

I am trying to act normal, when I feel anything but normal. I have never had a headache like this, not in my whole life. I have done the right things, gone to my doctor, and then returned when things were no better. Then I went to a specialist, when after 3 weeks, I had no relief.

But even though I was given some hope that there was a light at the end of the tunnel, yesterday was the worst day yet.

So now, that got me wondering. Is it something more serious? Devious? Worrisome?

Is it something that I will look back on as a real pain that resolved, or is this a life changer?

Hey, this might be one of those inherently dumb things that I can’t avoid.

I can't tell you how many days I have gone to the studio late, and come home early in the last month. I have accomplished so little, that it is embarrassing. Lois has pulled her weight, and 3/4 of mine.

I played a little with my loom at home, but not with any real passion.

You don't have what you don't have. Period.

I managed to get this warp on it, with fewer mistakes than I expected.

Last night, I cried myself to sleep, the pain was unbelievable. My daughter was bent on me going to the ER, but there is nothing more stubborn than an 'old nurse', unless it's an 'old doctor'. That's the truth. We make lousy patients.

The carrot of "better by Monday" was dangled, and I was determined to give it a chance.

Then this morning, I woke up with a headache that was still there, but bearable.
I took the morning very slow. I tiptoed. I hoped. I started my purple and orange dish towels.
I ate eggs and english muffins to cushion the prednisone.

After a while, I went to the studio, paid bills, finally got the birthday present to the birthday girl, had lunch.
Did you know that Prednisone makes you ravenous?
After lunch, I decided not to push my luck. I came home, rested a bit, then took Roy for a walk.
The headache remained threatening, but not debilitating.
Yesterday began to recede in my memory, just a little.

Now it is 8pm, and the headache is staying put, not releasing me, but not bringing me to my knees.
Not today.
Let's weave a while.
Shall we Roy???

At last.

2011-11-09T15:52:00.000-05:00

Once again, I am unproductive.
But that's OK, the most important thing on my schedule today was my doctor's appointment.
I was anxious to get there, so I was early.
Did you ever have a scope put up your nose?? It sounds worse than it actually was. And besides, I was up for whatever would give me some answers.
The scope revealed that I do not have an infection, and probably never did.
From my history, the upshot is that I have had a HUGE allergic reaction to the dusty selvedge I was working with about a month ago. My sinus cavities have become swollen, and the inflammation has run riot. The prednisone I got from my primary was a good idea, it just wasn't enough prednisone. The decongestants may have actually made my situation worse.
Now I am on the MOTHERLODE of Prednisone, and a steroid nasal spray, plus an antihistamine that I should probably be on forever. If I am not better by MONDAY, I only have to call, and the MRI is already ordered.
You can bet I picked up the medications on the way home, along with a sick grandson.
We decided it was a nice day for a little walk to the ice cream store.

It was a beautiful, sunny day, and shirt sleeve weather, once again.
YAY.

And you know Roy is always up for a walk.

Dobert's makes their own ice cream, and Blue Moon is a favorite of all my grandkids.
I personally like Pumpkin Nut.

I didn't make it to the studio at all, it just wasn't going to happen.
I feel badly, cause it's LOIS's BIRTHDAY.
Her birthday present is in the back seat of my car, and she said she is ok waiting until tomorrow.

Happy Birthday, Lois.....you're the best!!!!!!!

I am hoping that today is the beginning of feeling better. I am SO ready.

Being sick just knocks the life out of you.

Sometimes naps are the only answer.

Until tomorrow.