Lois

Is Lois unhappy? Does she know??  

Those are very good questions, and ones that I have asked myself a hundred times.

For a long time, she was upset, because as she said to me several times,  "I think I'm losing my mind".  I first noticed that something was wrong, when she couldn't thread the loom without massive mistakes.  Then she couldn't treadle anything but two treadles, because she lost her place every few seconds.  That was so totally unlike her.

Then last year, she began to be very erratic in her driving, and she began scaring me.......she didn't at all take it seriously that she was losing her ability to drive.  In fact, she laughed about it.

She also would take off after dark, to "go get ice cream, or go to the grocery store", and come back with nothing.  Her partner tried to intervene, but at that point she was oppositional to everything anyone tried to tell her.

Then she began telling me that she needed to 'be somewhere else, live somewhere else'......

I believe that she knew by then that she needed supervision, that she needed to be "managed".

That's when her sister and I got her into assisted living.  Lois was all for it, but after two nights there she walked out (in February) with no coat and ended up quite a long ways away at a liquor store that was just closing at 11:30 at night. 

She didn't know why she was there, and was so confused that the owner called the sheriff, who took her to the ER.....luckily she had the. Alzheimer's bracelet on, and they called her sister.

The next morning we took her back, and she went to Memory Care in another part of the facility that day.

It's a closed unit, and she actually only grumbled a little about it.

Her sister takes her out several times a week for a couple hours at a time.  She brings her here to visit, and that is so much nicer than visiting her there.

She knows me, I think, by sight, but already I doubt that she knows my name all the time.  Another of our friends, that she saw several times a week, is a stranger to her, and she does not know who she is.

Her disease has progressed rapidly over the last year.  

She shuffles now.  She can't read, but will hold a book like she is reading.  I think it's a comfort to her, as she was a serial reader all her life.

She still has her phone, and sometimes she can figure it out, and most times it is by chance.  She calls someone only because she clicks on their name in her contacts.  She will call me and then ask who I am, when I tell her she says, "oh no, I didn't want to call you, I wanted  my sister"........I do call her, and the conversation is mostly me, guessing what it is she is trying to tell me.  Occasionally, she gets something out that makes sense, but it is rare these days.

She gave me this card, the first Christmas she was here.  It speaks volumes about who she was.

This is a photo of me on the left, my friend Alice in the middle, and

Lois on the right, having lunch, when she first came to the studio.

And here she is waiting for that trailer truck full of sock seconds and loopers to back into my driveway so we could unload them into the barn.

I am so grateful for the 13 years we had.  She was a fantastic apprentice, and a huge help, and a great friend.  

There is no one on the planet with a bigger heart, which makes her present situation that much harder to wrap my brain around.

It's a cruel, cruel way to end a life.

The link below is to a blog post I wrote years ago, about Lois "deciding" that she wanted to be my apprentice.

Wow, do I miss her.

Lois comes to CAAL.

What? Back so soon?

I told you I was going to try harder!!!

A couple of months ago, I started two avocado plants, thinking that I would be lucky if they grew.  It took weeks and weeks, and I was about ready to give up.   When I was beginning to lose faith, I decided to google "how to start avocado plants", and found out that I had the pit upside down in the water.

So I turned them over, and waited again.

 I was surprised when they both started to root!!  So I gave one away, and kept one.   

I probably won't live long enough to see an avocado from it, but it's fun anyway.

I really didn't need another plant.  I have to move them around when winter comes.  My huge elephant plant has to be moved from its favorite window, because it is right next to the gas stove in the living room.   When it's very cold, I use the stove in the evenings, and sometimes over morning tea, and the plant just doesn't like the heat.

Other plants, upstairs, have to come downstairs for the winter, as there is no heat upstairs in this 230 year old house.   

So no, I did not need another plant.

That's why I gave this Mandeville to one of my daughters, instead of 

trying to winter it in my house.

The garden is gone by, everything needs to be trimmed up and put to bed for the winter.

But for some reason, these morning glories are not ready to give it up.

I don't think I've ever seen them with leaves this big.

One of you asked about Lois.   It's a difficult subject, and one that 

I really struggle with.

She went to assisted living back in January, lasted there only a 

few days, and moved to memory care where she has been since.

Her sister takes her out a few times a week, and often 

brings her over to see me and the dogs, who love her dearly.

She knows me, but if I asked her what my name was, I think she might struggle with that on some days.   A dear friend of both of us, is a stranger to her now.  She simply does not remember who she is.

It's painful to see her, as awful as that sounds, because she looks like

Lois, and she sounds like Lois, but the Lois that I spent every day for 13 years with is not there.

If anything makes you grateful for whatever life you have, no matter how difficult, it should be dementia/Alzheimers.

She is safe where she is, but in truth, her life is over, while she still breathes.

I hate every bit of it.  

We had a great run, Lois and I, weaving here at Crazy as a Loom.

I am grateful for it all.

Time to plant the garlic this week, finish whatever needs doing outside, and wrap up the yard for winter.

A few weeks ago, I picked up all these black walnuts over by the 

labyrinth.   I have a black walnut tree that is very productive, and 

probably what keeps all the squirrels so fat and healthy.

I have never tried to open one, but I did, and now I know 

why they are used as a natural dye.  My finger nails were a lovely

shade of black.  This photo is AFTER I scrubbed them and even used bleach on them.   

Live and learn.  

The squirrels are welcome to them.

I had an old bench that has been out in the yard for years...it's actually a glider.   I loved it, but it became covered with lichen, and looked

like it was ready to call it a day.

But I called this local guy who restores antiques, and he took it 

home with him, took all the bolts out of it, removed all the mahogany

slats, put new bolts in it, and oiled all the wood, and put it all back

together.   It reall turned out to be a beautiful bench after all.

Sitting on it, under the linden tree, (also called a basswood tree)

here's my view of the house.

Below is a screen shot of the rug in my living room.  It was

pretty, but thin, and every time Willie came in the kitchen door, 

he raced through the kitchen and into the living room,

and the rug reacted in a way that left ripples in it.

So every day, I pulled and pulled on it to flatten it out,

and the rug refused to stay flat.

So the other night, my daughter and I took a trip to Ollie's, 

a store that definitely has everything.  To be honest, it's a bit

scary.

But I found a rug, actually, my daughter picked it out, I was not at all

sure.

But for $149,  I thought it was an improvement.  It's much thicker, 

and it certainly does POP.

The dogs loved it, they rolled around on it, and 

gave their approval.

What do you think???

Back again

Summer is gone, and boy, was it an expensive one for me.

New roof on this side of the house, which has been the only part of my roof that was still slate.

And underneath it ...........wooden shingles, and about a million square nails.

But it's done.....chimney capped forever never to be used again, but repointed so it looks good!

New flashing around the chimney, new ridge pole.........done.

On top of that, a new gas furnace, since my chimney is defunct.

My savings dwindles in the face of necessity.

As usual, I am sickeningly hopeful.  What the hell is wrong with me, I wonder.

But there seems always something to be thankful for.  So I persist in 

holding on to those good thoughts.

A few months ago, I saw this photo, I have yet to find out where it originated from,

despite lengthy searches.

It is a picture of different colored eggs from different breeds of chickens, and it 

just mesmerized me.

I wanted to recreate these colors in my weaving.

I was not at all sure that I could.

But once again, I persisted.  You've probably noticed by now, if you've been 

following my blog, that persistence is my middle name.

And here is what I came up with.

Here is the finished towel.

The first 21 that came off the loom sold overnight on my FB biz page, and the second

21 are waiting for the guild show.

For my last expenditure of this very pricey summer, I decided to replace the back

fence of the dog yard.  The rest of it is black chain link 5 ft high, but this one stretch

has always been stockade fence.

The old one had been there for 15 plus years, and was beginning to look a little ragged.

I was afraid some day I would look out there and parts of it would be lying on the ground.

So here is the new fence, and hopefully it will last for a long time.

My other weaving venture into towels, has been my Christmas tree towels.

I have 20 of those waiting for the guild show which is November 15-17 at 

Pat's Barn in North Greenbush, NY.

And if that's not enough to keep me busy, I've been doing Basic Weaving workshops

again, and they are filling up fast.

It's good to get more people to be in love with weaving. and it's good 

to fill the studio up with lots of good energy.

Sorry I've been so absent.  I think often that no one reads it, so why bother, but then 

I know that there a few of you faithful followers out there, and then I feel bad for 

not doing better.....

I'll try harder.